Lonely in Your Nightmare
by RobzBeanie
Summary: ** COMPLETE ** New neighbor Edward really gets Bella's heart pumping, but what nightmarish secrets is he hiding? Will he ever let her in? Daddyward. ** #1 in Top Ten Completed Fics for Jan 2018 on TwiFanfictionRecs **
1. First Impression

**Author Note:** Back with a new fic! I hope you enjoy it. Now that I am done pre-writing this one (except for the Epilogue), I can work on the continuation of _Everything She Wants_.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading and making my banner and book cover!

* * *

 _Chapter 1 – First Impression_

 **BPOV**

 _August 2016_

"So, it looks like someone is finally moving in to old Mrs. Cope's place."

The eyes of my two best friends stare at me across the booth's table. "You hadn't mentioned that anyone was looking at it," Angela says, almost accusingly, as if I had been keeping something from her. I love her to death, but she's the second biggest gossip I know. The biggest being our coworker Jessica.

"Please tell me it's a single man in his 20s," Alice says excitedly, almost speaking over the top of Angela's words. I try hard not to roll my eyes. Alice has always been the "boy crazy" one of the two of us. She's right though — there are few eligible bachelors in Forks, so it would be awesome if one were to move to town.

"OK, first of all," I begin, looking at Angela, "I had no idea anyone _was_ looking. I may live next door, but I do have a summer job. Still, it's a little weird that I never saw any activity there until the SOLD sign appeared this afternoon.

"As to your question, Alice, since I never saw anyone, I have no idea if it's a single man. I doubt it though; I'd expect a house with that huge backyard to sell to someone with a family."

"Yeah, you're probably right," she groans, looking like I've just told her that her dog died.

"It may not even be someone new to town," Angela points out. "I mean, who moves to Forks?"

"You did," I remind her with a grin. Angela followed her boyfriend — now husband — and Forks native, Ben Cheney, home to Forks after they met in college. The reward for my comment is a peek of her tongue.

"Keep us posted on what you find out," Alice begs, and I smile, nodding.

* * *

After splitting the check, the three of us head outside and I climb into the cab of my 1950s era Chevy truck, a gift from my dad for my 16th birthday. His friend Billy's son, Jacob, fixed it up for me after his dad could no longer drive. I can't really afford a new vehicle so I continue to rely on Jacob, who now works at the local garage, for the frequent repairs.

For nearly two years now, my two best friends and I have held our Thursday girls' nights at the Forks diner, where we catch up with everything that is going on in our lives. Or, where Alice mostly complains about her single status and Angela tries not to brag about getting some on a regular basis. Ben is a busy lawyer and a good sport about it, using the opportunity to work late one night per week.

Alice Brandon has been my best friend since her family moved in down the street from my dad and me, when I was about four years old. Alice's dad is a doctor at Forks General Hospital, and her mom is a stay-at-home mom. My own mom left when I was two, so I spent a lot of time at the Brandons' when my dad was working. Alice followed in her dad's footsteps — sort of — in becoming a nurse and now works with him at the hospital.

It was Mrs. Brandon who taught me everything a woman needs to know, including how to cook and bake. As a teenager, I worked at a local bakery that also sells homemade ice cream during what passes for summer in Forks. I thought seriously about going to culinary school to become a pastry chef, before deciding that I wanted a career where I could make more of a difference than just helping the townspeople gain weight.

I first met Angela Weber-Cheney two years ago, when I began working as a first grade teacher at Forks Elementary. Angela has been teaching kindergarten since the year after I graduated from Forks High, and we clicked immediately. She just loves children, having worked as a babysitter for the kids who got too disruptive during her father, Reverend Weber's, sermons. She and Ben are planning to start a family soon; she's trying to time a baby so that she gives birth shortly after the upcoming schoolyear ends.

I still love baking and still work during the summers at the bakery, when they always add extra staff to handle the higher demand, led by the ice cream sales. Besides enjoying the job, a beginning teacher's salary isn't all that high, so I can really use the extra money. I lived with my dad for my first year after college to save up before buying a small bungalow of my own a few streets away from my childhood home.

As I pull into my driveway, I look over at the dark house next door, its lawn and shrubs overgrown and full of weeds. The widowed Mrs. Cope died shortly after I moved in last year. Her three children and seven grandchildren all live out of town, the nearest one in Seattle. They'd been trying to sell her place for months. It needs a lot of work on the interior from what I remember; I'm not sure if Mrs. Cope had redecorated since the 1960s.

While I like to tease Alice about being boy crazy, this town really _could_ use some fresh blood. I mean, practically the only guy in town that neither of us has dated is Jacob! Most of our high school friends that didn't plan to go on to college paired up before graduation and have kids already. I haven't dated anyone seriously since Riley when I was at U-Dub, over two and a half years now. Alice goes out regularly, but never more than a date or two with the same guy. She tends to have a thing for the rugged types — loggers, mostly — but they seem to come and go. And I doubt one of them would be buying a house with flowered wallpaper.

* * *

Every day as I leave for work and arrive back home, I look over at the house next door, but nothing ever seems to change. Finally on the tenth day, I come home from work to find that the overgrown yard has been mowed. Taking that as a sign that the new homeowners will be here soon, I text the news to Alice and Angela before they accuse me of holding out on them.

Two days later, my cereal breakfast is interrupted by a loud knock at the door. I quickly wipe off any milk moustache, then rush to answer it.

"Good morning, Ma'am," a tall bearded man wearing dark blue overalls greets me.

"Um, good morning," I reply, a little confused by my visitor.

"We're not gonna be able to park our truck without blocking your driveway. If you need to go out at some point today, could you please move your vehicle now?"

I look over his shoulder, noticing for the first time a large United Van Lines truck in the middle of the street — a moving truck. My new neighbors are here!

"I do need to get to work in about a half hour," I reply with a nod. "Let me just grab some shoes."

I close the front door most of the way, then hurry to slip on a pair of sandals. I find my keys then step outside, making my way to my Chevy parked in the driveway. Like most of the homes on this street, I have a one-car detached garage at the end of the driveway. But also like most of the homes, there is no basement, so I'm using the garage for extra storage.

My truck starts up with a roar, and as I shift into reverse, I notice that the driver has pulled the huge moving truck up about 20 feet. Backing out, I quickly pull around the nearest corner, parking along the curb.

As I walk back to my house, the man who'd knocked on my door waves to me, and I wave back as I hear the _beep beep_ of the truck backing up.

After finishing my breakfast, I get ready for work at the bakery. I've only got another six days of work left before it's time for me to get ready for the new schoolyear to begin on September 1.

When I walk out my front door, I stop for a moment to see what the two men are unloading from the truck. As more of the object comes into view, I realize it's a crib.

Well, there goes any hope that an available man will be moving in next door. Maybe I can make a new friend in his wife though.

* * *

When I get home from work that evening, the moving truck is gone. I quickly spot a dark red SUV with Illinois plates parked in the driveway next to mine. So my new neighbors have moved here all the way from Illinois? That's… strange. I'm not sure what kind of job either of them could have that would transfer them to Forks, of all places. Something with the National Park Service?

But what other reason could there be for moving here? Perhaps one of them grew up in Forks and moved away, though I can't recall hearing any gossip about Forks High graduates who went to college quite so far away.

I think about stopping by to say hello, but they're probably exhausted from the move. Better to stop by tomorrow.

Taking advantage of my day off, I decide to bake an apple pie to welcome my new neighbors. I know it's kind of an old-fashioned thing to do, but Mrs. Brandon always baked a cake or pie to welcome newcomers to the neighborhood.

As I chop the apples, I start to get excited about meeting my neighbors. It really has been awhile since anyone new moved to town. And they're likely relatively close to my age if they have a child young enough to still sleep in a crib. While I love my two best friends like sisters, I'm certainly not opposed to adding someone else to our group.

In case they're busy running errands, I wait until late afternoon, then cover the pie and cross the two yards to next door, hitting the doorbell with my elbow while my hands are full.

And then I wait. The SUV is parked in the driveway, though assuming they have two cars, they could both be out in the other one, I suppose.

Just as I am about to ring the doorbell again, the door swings open. My head automatically tilts up so that I can make eye contact with the tall man who appears in the doorway.

I'm struck dumb. The man standing before me is gorgeous — like he belongs in Hollywood or on the cover of a magazine. He has jade green eyes, cheekbones a woman would kill for, pouty lips, and a strong chin — all topped off with a head of messy reddish-brown hair.

Some part of me realizes I'm staring, but I can't help myself. It's like God took all of the qualities that make a man attractive to me and put them all into one man. I feel a bit like Alice, drooling over anything with a penis. And after my two-plus-year drought, I nearly have to hold myself back from jumping him.

"May I help you?" a male voice asks, bringing me out of my stupor. As I shake my head to clear it, I realize for the first time that my dream man is holding a child. Well, not a child, but a baby, probably somewhere between six months and a year old. _Duh, Bella, you knew they had a crib!_

"May I help you?" he asks again, sounding impatient.

"Oh! Um, yeah, um — sorry," I chuckle nervously. "I'm Bella Swan. I live next door," I add, nodding my head in the direction of my house. "What's your name? I never ran into the realtor to ask."

"Edward," he answers quietly. "Edward Cullen. And this is my son, Masen."

I smile widely, looking at the blond cherub who's peeking at me from where he has his head buried against his father's chest. "He's adorable! So, um, I baked a pie to welcome you and your wife to the neighborhood." I hold out the pie in my hands toward Edward, once again chuckling nervously when I realize that duh, his hands are full. "I could set it inside for you."

Edward remains silent and unmoving; as I look up at his face again, he seems so… deflated. I'm confused as to what I could have done to put that look on his face. After another moment, he takes a step backward, allowing me to pass by him into the house.

Having been inside before, I know right where the kitchen is. I head straight there, setting the pie on the kitchen counter since the small table is full of boxes. Turning around, I nearly jump out of my skin when I realize Edward is right behind me, still holding his son.

I smile uncertainly, glancing around at the dated kitchen with bright yellow walls. "I imagine your wife will be redecorating soon. I don't think Mrs. Cope touched anything in decades."

"There's a lot of work to do," he agrees softly.

"So, um, if you ever need someone to watch Masen, I'd be happy to. I teach first grade, so I'm around children a lot, though obviously he's younger than my usual," I laugh, rolling my eyes at my word vomit. "How old is he?"

"Eight months."

"Oh wow, he'll probably be walking soon!"

"He's pretty good at crawling now," Edward replies, smiling down at Masen, who's now watching me curiously. I smile in return, seeing the obvious love this man has for his son.

"So you're from Illinois?" I ask. "I, um, saw the plates on your car."

"Yeah."

"Which city?" I ask, being nosy.

"Chicago."

"Oh, my gosh! I can't even imagine moving to a tiny town like Forks after living in a huge city like that. It was an adjustment for me when I moved back from Seattle after college, and I'd grown up here!"

Edward just stands there silently, and I start to feel like maybe I'm intruding. I don't hear anyone else in the house, so I assume his wife isn't home right now. Maybe he's uncomfortable having a strange woman in the house?

I clear my throat. "So, um, welcome again. If you need any help getting acclimated or need anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask, all right?"

"Thanks," he replies.

"Oh, and I hope you enjoy the pie! It's won best apple pie in the Forks Fourth of July Fair for four years running! I'll, um, just let myself out."

I squeeze past where Edward is standing, making my way to the front door. As I step outside, my lust-addled brain clears a bit and I really start to wonder about our odd conversation. Edward didn't say much, though he was never rude or anything like that. I feel like I'm missing something, but I have no idea what it could be.

* * *

 **A/N** : I know it's been awhile! I started writing this fic last November and got about 8 chapters done before the holidays hit. I'm not sure I wrote another word of it until May. It sat nameless on my hard drive for months because the most obvious title ( _The Man Next Door_ ) was already taken.

The title is a song from Duran Duran's 1982 _Rio_ album. Go look it up on YouTube if you're not familiar with it! All chapter titles are Duran Duran songs, some of them pretty obscure album tracks, so no guessing the titles this time. Limiting myself to one artist (albeit one with a ton of songs) means that some titles are literal while others are kind of abtract.

Updates every **Monday** and **Thursday**.

* * *

Thanks to pifficsofthemonth. blogspot. c-o-m for featuring this story!

 _Pay It Forward_ will be featuring fics in four different categories on their new blog. Number one will be our Rookie ... A new, first-time writer showcasing their first fic on our blog. Number two will be our Encore ... A new fic from a seasoned author giving us a sneak peek. Number three will be our Classix ... one from the vault, a time-tested oldie. And four, is an Overlooked fic that needs some love. If you are a Rookie and need help, contact Frannie Walsh on the PIF Facebook page. And if you have an Encore, contact her to get your new fic showcased. Also, anyone interested in writing a summary on one of their favs, please feel free to send it in for our Classix section.


	2. Tempted

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to the first chapter! It seems that Bella may be the only one who thinks there's a Mrs. Cullen.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 2 – Tempted_

The day after meeting Edward — I want to swoon just thinking about him — is Thursday, so after work, I meet my girls at the diner.

"They're here," I announce.

"They?" Alice asks.

I nod. "A couple with an eight-month-old baby. Actually I haven't met the wife yet. I don't think she was home when I stopped by yesterday to bring them an apple pie."

"You brought them a pie?" Alice giggles, snorting in her uncontrolled laughter. "That's so Mom."

"Who do you think I learned it from?" I retort. "Anyway, it made a good excuse to go check them out without appearing _too_ nosy."

"So tell us about the husband," Angela prompts, taking a sip of her Diet Coke.

"Oh my God, he's gorgeous!" I gush. "Like, seriously, the best looking man to ever set foot in Forks."

"He's taken, Bella," Angela chides in her teacher's voice.

"I'm aware of that! I can still look though, can't I?" I defend myself. I don't see the harm in drooling over Edward, as long as I'm not as obvious about it as I probably was last night.

"So where are they from?" Alice asks.

"Get this: Chicago."

"And they moved to Forks?" she asks the million dollar question.

"I know, right? Edward didn't give me an explanation."

"Edward? That's his _name_? Sounds more like a grandpa than the hottest guy in Forks," Alice comments.

"You wouldn't scoff if you'd seen him."

"So next week we're meeting at your house, right?" Angela smirks.

* * *

Over the following week, I never once see anyone next door. As I walk out to my car in the driveway, I do hear noises a few times though — like the sound of scraping or the whirr of power tools. I guess they're not wasting any time removing the hideous wallpaper that covers pretty much every wall of the house except the kitchen and bathrooms.

Thursday, September 1 is the first day of school, my third year of teaching. I spend much of the day getting to know my new students so that I can hopefully remember their names after our three-day weekend.

When the final bell rings, we all meet in the teachers' lounge to unwind. I try to pin down Angela for the scoop on a couple of my incoming students who seem like they'll be quite a handful. Our discussion is interrupted by Jessica Stanley, a third grade teacher, who plops down at the table between us.

"I hear someone bought the old Cope house next to you."

"That's right," I nod. "A young couple with a baby. I've only met the husband so far. His name is Edward Cullen. They're from Chicago."

"What the heck are they doing in Forks?" she asks, her button nose wrinkling.

"I have no idea." I shake my head. "Edward wasn't real talkative when I met him."

"Do they just have the baby?"

"Yes — well, as far as I know. I saw the movers unloading the crib, and Edward had the baby with him when I stopped by. I suppose there could be an older child who was out maybe with his wife."

"Mmmm…" Angela hums. "I've heard of a couple new students — above kindergarten, I mean — but I don't think any of them had the last name of Cullen."

"I suppose they could have another preschool age child that I didn't see, but Edward didn't really seem old enough to have a child any older than elementary school."

"You forgot to tell Jessica the best part," Angela grins.

"Oh?" Jess raises her eyebrow, always eager for gossip.

"The man is drop dead gorgeous. Like, if you happen to run into him around town or something, you'll absolutely know it's him."

"So… tall, dark and handsome?" she asks eagerly.

"Well, tall and handsome, anyway. His skin is actually quite pale. He has reddish-brown hair and green eyes."

"Oh yum," she practically drools. "I love men with blue or green eyes."

"What is it with you two drooling over a married man?" Angela giggles.

"Suck it, Cheney." I stick my tongue out at her. "Hey, if we're really eating at my house tonight, what do you want to do for dinner? Don't expect me to cook for you two." I'm always exhausted after the first day of school; I was too on edge to sleep well last night.

"We could get takeout from somewhere? I could pick it up on my way to your house."

"How does Pacific Pizza sound? I'll text Alice and see what she wants."

* * *

The girls are due to arrive at 6pm, and when I hear a car pulling up shortly before that, I rush to open the front door to welcome them. Instead, I see Edward's SUV pulling into his driveway. He shuts off the engine, and I watch as he climbs out, opening the back door. A minute later, he emerges with Masen in his arms, then opens the rear hatchback.

I frown as I watch Edward juggling several bags, then call out to him. "Edward?" He stops what he's doing, looking up at me. "Do you need any help? I can take Masen inside for you."

He seems to let out a breath, then nods. "That'd be great, thanks."

I quickly step off my porch then walk over to Edward. Goddamn, he looks good in jeans and a black v-neck t-shirt. He passes his son over to me and I smile down at the baby. Edward hands me his set of keys and I step onto his porch. As I'm opening the front door, I hear a car pull up, turning to see Alice's bright yellow Beetle park in my driveway.

Carrying Masen into the house, I wonder about where to put him — this would be easier if he wasn't crawling. I step into the living room, which looks like a bit of a war zone with the walls stripped, and see a playpen set up in the middle of the floor. I set Masen down in there, then rush back outside to see if Edward needs any more help.

When I reach him, he's just closing the back of the SUV, and I see that Alice has already introduced herself.

"I left Masen in his playpen," I tell him. "Can you handle everything?" Both of his hands seem to be full of plastic bags from the Thriftway.

"I've got it, thanks," he smiles, turning toward his house. When Angela's car stops behind Alice's, he turns around, looking at me questioningly. "Having a party?"

"No," I chuckle. "I always get together with these two crazy women on Thursdays. Usually we go to the diner in town, but… first day of school and all," I tell a little white lie. I can't very well tell him that they came hoping to get a look at him. "This is Angela Cheney," I nod toward her as she gets out of her car carrying a large pizza box with a bag perched on top. "She teaches kindergarten at Forks Elementary."

"Nice to meet you both, but I need to get inside," he says, lifting his arms to show us the bags. I watch Edward walk up the steps onto his porch, noticing for the first time that the back view is nearly as good as the front.

"So… mission accomplished — you've met Edward," I say to my friends as soon as the front door has closed behind him.

"Good lord, you weren't joking," Alice says, fanning herself. "If he's got any single brothers, send 'em my way!"

I roll my eyes. "Come on in before our dinner gets cold."

As we step into my kitchen, Angela sets everything down on the table, pulling a large salad and an order of garlic bread from the bag while I grab us plates from the cabinet.

"Where do you think Mrs. Cullen is?" Angela asks as I open a bottle of wine for the three of us. Might as well take things up a notch since we're not at the diner.

"I have no idea. She clearly wasn't home. I don't think I've ever seen another car at the house, but they might actually be using the garage for its intended purpose," I chuckle.

"Hmmm… maybe she's not here yet?" Alice proposes. "I mean, maybe she was stuck in Chicago finishing out her job or something?"

"Could be," I shrug. "But I don't know too many moms who'd send such a small baby off with its father."

"Yeah, that part doesn't work with your theory," Angela comments, reaching for a piece of garlic bread.

"I suppose she could still be at work. I mean, it's only a little after six," I point out as I grab a piece of cheesy pizza from the box.

"Still, a week and no sign of her?" Alice questions.

"Well, I haven't seen Edward since the night I knocked on his door either," I remind her. "I've heard someone working on the house to try to bring it into the current century, but I haven't _seen_ anyone at all."

"So, next time, if you just see Edward, why don't you invite his wife to join us for dinner sometime?" Angela suggests. "If she's not here yet or works long hours, you'll at least get an answer for us."

"Of course, because it's all about getting the gossip for you!" I tease her, rolling my eyes.

* * *

Saturday is a gorgeous warm day, so I decide to spend time outside. Given what I've learned in my first two days of class, I want to make a few tweaks to my lesson plans, so I bring my notebooks outside with a glass of lemonade and get comfortable on my porch swing.

After maybe 15 minutes or so, I hear a noise next door and stand up to see where it's coming from. And what a sight I see! A shirtless Edward is using some sort of tool to cut back the overgrown shrubs on the side of the house. Goddamn, he's ripped. I watch him for a minute or two before I feel like too much of a creeper and move back to my swing.

In another hour or so, he's finished with the side of the house and working on the landscaping in front. Getting up for another glass of lemonade, I see Masen outside in his playpen, under the shade of a large evergreen tree, while his dad works. I guess Mom isn't home again.

On a whim, I pour a second glass for Edward, who must be working up quite a thirst, and carry it over to him. "Edward?" I call.

I'm rewarded with a view of his amazing chest as he turns around, brushing his sweaty hair off his face with his forearm.

"Yes?"

I blink myself back to reality, holding out the glass. "I was just getting myself a glass of lemonade and I wondered if you'd like some?"

"Thank you," he smiles the first genuine smile I've seen, brushing my fingers as he takes the glass from me with his left hand. His silver wedding band gleams in the sun. I watch his Adam's apple move as he swallows half the glass in one gulp.

"This is really nice of you, Bella."

"Oh, it's no problem!" I assure him. "I made a huge pitcher earlier."

Suddenly Masen starts to cry and we both look over at him. "That's his 'I need to be changed' cry," Edward says.

I glance at the sight of him, dirty and sweaty and sexy. "Would you like me to take Masen inside and change him for you? I really don't mind."

"I — it would be a big help, thanks. The changing table is set up in his bedroom. Oh, and the keys… my right front pocket."

My eyes widen. Reach in Edward's jeans pocket? Hell yes! Well, it turns out that his keychain is hanging out of the pocket, so I can just grab that without having to hold myself back from feeling him up.

It's only as I carry Masen up onto the porch that I start to wonder about Edward locking up the house while he's working. I mean, this is Forks, nothing is going to happen in broad daylight while he's right outside! But I suppose he came from a much larger city, so it may just be habit.

Inside, I make my way through the construction zone to the stairway. I already know which room is the master bedroom, though I'm not sure which of the other two would be the nursery. One bedroom seems to be set up as a guest room, with a bedframe and large uncovered mattress in the middle of the room. On my second try, I find the nursery, laying Masen down on the changing table.

Once I've got him redressed and back in my arms, I can't help snooping at the master bedroom. The flowered wallpaper is gone, but I can tell it's still got a long way to go. But as I look around the room, I realize that I don't see any trace of a woman living here. There's no perfume on the dresser, no jewelry box, no feminine clothes strewn about… nothing.

"That's odd," I mutter to myself, carrying Masen down the stairs. I lock up the front door, then set Masen back in his shaded playpen and hand Edward his keys.

"Your glass is on the steps," he says, pointing to it. "Thanks again, for the lemonade and for helping with Masen."

"I don't mind, really," I smile. I pick up the glass and turn toward my house, then pause, turning back to Edward. I can't believe I'm going to take Angela's suggestion. "Say, would your wife like to join my friends and me for our Thursday dinner next week? We'd love to meet her."

Edward lets out a breath, running his hand through his hair, and my brow furrows at his reaction. "I don't have a wife," he says quietly.

"Oh," I murmur, too speechless to say anything else. That statement explains a lot, but still… I saw his wedding band only a few minutes ago, so clearly he _had_ a wife. Whatever happened must be pretty recent. "I-I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed."

"Anyone would."

I nod, giving him a small smile. From his demeanor, it's obviously a painful subject. He picks up the tool again, so I assume our conversation is over.

"If-if you ever need anything," I remind him, before turning and heading back to my swing, my head reeling a bit.

Edward is single. Edward is _available_ , though clearly it's too soon for him to be dating again. If he's still wearing his ring, he's not over his wife. I wonder if the divorce was her idea? And she let him keep their young son? What a piece of work she must be. Maybe she ran off with another man, though I don't know who in their right mind would leave Edward. Wait until I tell my girls.

* * *

 **A/N** : So that's one question answered: There is no Mrs. Cullen.

What do you think happened to Edward's wife? Moosals was reminding me earlier this week that her opinion had wavered back and forth as she read these early chapters.

Next update on **Monday**.

* * *

Thanks to pifficsofthemonth. blogspot. c-o-m for featuring this story!

 _Pay It Forward_ will be featuring fics in four different categories on their new blog. Number one will be our Rookie ... A new, first-time writer showcasing their first fic on our blog. Number two will be our Encore ... A new fic from a seasoned author giving us a sneak peek. Number three will be our Classix ... one from the vault, a time-tested oldie. And four, is an Overlooked fic that needs some love. If you are a Rookie and need help, contact Frannie Walsh on the PIF Facebook page. And if you have an Encore, contact her to get your new fic showcased. Also, anyone interested in writing a summary on one of their favs, please feel free to send it in for our Classix section.


	3. Friends of Mine

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response so far! There are lots of theories, but the most popular seems to be that Mrs. Cullen passed away, possibly in childbirth.

Several readers have come down on Bella and her friends for gossiping, which I'd kind of expected. Remember that they're in a small town though, where gossip is pretty much their only source of entertainment. Be honest now, if a hot single guy moved from Chicago to your small town with an 8-month-old baby in tow, you'd gossip too!

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 3 – Friends of Mine_

While my first instinct is to text Angela and Alice with the news right away, I don't. I tell myself that I just want to see their faces when I tell them in person, but in some way, I almost don't feel right gossiping about Edward's marital status.

Once we've ordered our food at the diner the following week, Alice's eyes narrow as she looks at me across the table. "You know something we don't," she accuses, and I know it's time to spill.

"Edward is divorced."

"What?" Angela gasps.

"Well, actually I don't know that — he could just be separated. But he told me he doesn't have a wife when I tried to invite her to dinner with us."

"Dibs!" Alice yells.

"You can't call dibs! I saw him first. Surely you remember the rules," I add smugly. Alice and I made a pact in eighth grade that we would never fight over a man, er, boy. Whoever met him first would have first rights — so long as the boy showed any interest in her, of course — unless she forfeited them.

"Anyway," I continue, "he's clearly not over her and ready to move on. He's still wearing his wedding band."

"I doubt it'll be long before he's ready," Angela speaks up.

"What makes you say that?" Alice asks.

She shrugs. "Between us, Ben and I have known a few couples who've split up. The husband always seems to be ready to jump back into the dating pool long before the wife. It's like… men can't stand to be alone. They always need to be part of a couple. Most likely they need a woman to take care of them since they can't do anything for themselves," she adds with a snort. "Ben is a brilliant lawyer, but he doesn't even know how to load or empty the dishwasher."

"I don't know that I'd say that about _all_ men," Alice points out. "I think it depends on how long they were on their own before getting married in the first place. If Edward had an apartment during college, for example, he likely knows how to do laundry and has at least some rudimentary cooking skills."

"He certainly bought a lot of groceries from the Thriftway last week," I note. "Though I suppose his bags could've been full of frozen pizzas and Hot Pockets. Or baby food and diapers," I add with a chuckle.

"Well, if the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, you should invite him to dinner once in a while, Bella. Show him you can take care of him, and maybe once he's ready…" Angela trails off, shrugging.

"What would you think if I invited him out with us Saturday night?" I ask, the idea suddenly popping into my head. Next Tuesday is my 25th birthday, but since Angela and I can't really let our hair down on a school night, the four of us — including Ben — are going to Port Angeles this weekend.

"That's a great idea. Except, who will watch the baby?"

"I can ask my mom," Alice pipes up. "Do you think he'd trust a 55-year-old woman who's raised two children?"

"Worth a shot," I agree with a grin.

* * *

Once Alice has texted me on Friday to confirm that her mom will be happy to watch Masen, I stop by Edward's house after work to invite him to come out with us to Port Angeles.

"Hey," he greets me with a small smile after answering the door. For once, Masen isn't with him.

"Um, hi. I was, um, wondering if you'd like to go out to dinner tomorrow night. I-I mean, with my friends, not like a date or anything," I chuckle, once again mortified by my nervous rambling. "We're going to dinner in Port Angeles for my birthday."

"Tomorrow's your birthday?"

"Actually, it's not until the 13th," I explain, "but teachers can't have much fun on school nights."

Edward sighs, running his hand through his already messy hair. "I can't, I'm sorry. I doubt Masen would be welcome wherever you're planning to go. I really don't know anyone in town to watch him."

I smile widely. "Problem solved. Alice's mom has already agreed to watch him. Mrs. Brandon is an awesome lady; I spent a lot of time at her house when I was growing up. She raised Alice and her older sister, Cynthia, and now has a four-year-old grandson, though they live in Seattle."

Edward stares at me for a long moment, and my eyes are drawn to the peek of his tongue as he licks his lips. "I don't want to intrude on your girls' night."

"Oh, you wouldn't be! It's not just us girls; Angela's husband, Ben, is coming too."

He sighs, leaning against the door jamb.

"Come on," I beg. "I'll bet you haven't had a night without worrying about Masen since you moved here."

He gives me a small smile. "I haven't, but what makes you think being away from him for a few hours means I won't worry?" He grins. "It'd be nice to make some friends in Forks."

"Yes!" I give him a fist pump, knowing I've won. "We're going to Bella Italia; it's not super-fancy so don't worry about your outfit. I'll have Alice's mom come by to meet you about 5:45, OK? Ben is picking us up around six."

"All right," he nods. "I'll see you tomorrow."

After saying goodnight to Edward, I almost strut back to my house. I'm really looking forward to getting to know him better. As a lawyer, Ben is good at questioning people; he can probably get away with more casual probing questions than any of us girls.

* * *

Despite telling Edward not to worry about his outfit, I worry about mine, eventually choosing a nice but casual black dress, with a royal blue shrug for the cool evening air. I even put on a little bit of makeup. I may or may not be trying to impress a recently single man.

When Alice's mom arrives, I take her over to Edward's house and ring the doorbell.

"Hi," I greet him when he answers the door. He looks delectable in black jeans and a plaid button-down shirt, holding his son.

Edward looks me up and down, his brow furrowed. "I thought you said the place wasn't fancy?"

"It's not," I assure him, "but I don't have many opportunities to wear the few nicer dresses in my closet. Oh, um, this is Carolyn Brandon, Alice's mom."

"Nice to meet you, Edward," she says, holding her hand out for him to shake.

"Likewise. Please come in."

Once we're inside, I let Edward show Mrs. Brandon everything she needs to know to watch Masen for a few hours. He normally goes to bed at seven, and Edward has already fed him dinner, so she really only needs to entertain him for an hour.

When we hear Ben's large SUV pull up, we say goodbye and head outside. Angela is sitting behind Ben, leaving the front passenger seat for Edward and his long legs, while 5'1" Alice has crawled into the little-used third row of seats, leaving the seat behind Edward for me.

"Ben Cheney," he introduces himself with an extended hand as soon as Edward is situated.

"Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you."

We spend the one-hour drive to Port Angeles telling Edward about Forks and pointing out various landmarks. Arriving at the restaurant, Edward is quite the gentleman, giving me his hand to help me out of the backseat, then doing the same for Alice.

We're seated at a round table, where I'm between Edward on my right and Alice on my left. "So what's good here?" Edward asks as we look over our menus.

"I like the mushroom ravioli; Alice always orders the crab cakes." I shrug. "Pretty much everything we've had is very good."

When we place our orders, we decide to get a bottle of wine for the table. Once our waiter has walked away, Ben turns to Edward.

"So, I hear you've come from Chicago. What on earth made you move to Forks?" he chuckles.

I see Edward's Adam's apple move as he swallows before answering. "I was looking for something different. A small town as opposed to a large city."

"Any reason for Forks in particular?" Angela asks, sipping her glass of ice water.

"Well, there was one year when I was 9 or 10 when my family came to Seattle for a summer vacation. We drove around to all of the national parks nearby and I remember really liking Olympic National Park. The huge trees were just so different from the skyscrapers in Chicago. It was… peaceful, and I really liked that."

Our waiter brings our bottle of Pinot Grigio then, and I narrow my eyes but don't speak up when Angela politely declines a glass.

"Have you found a job yet in Forks?" Ben asks.

"I, um, I'm a writer," Edward answers, and my ears perk up. I've always enjoyed classic literature, but I never thought I could make a living as a fiction writer. Of course, maybe he means that he writes for magazines or something like that. "I can write from anywhere. The publisher I work with has an office in Seattle as well as Chicago."

"So you work from home," I realize.

"I do," he nods. "Are all of you teachers?"

"Just Angela and me. Ben is a lawyer and Alice is a nurse."

Alice smiles. "My dad's a doctor and he really wanted me to go into medicine, but I wasn't interested in going to school for that many years. Nursing seemed like a good fit though."

"My dad is a doctor as well," Edward reveals. "He's a cardiac surgeon. My two older brothers did follow him into medicine. My oldest brother, Emmett, is a paramedic, and my brother Jasper just finished his residency to become an ER doctor. I'm the black sheep," he chuckles. "The sensitive, artistic one."

I smile at him. "Well, my dad is the Chief of Police, so I certainly didn't follow in his footsteps either."

"Of Forks?" Edward asks, his eyes wide.

"Yes, of Forks," I nod. "He was just a beat cop when I was a kid. I think I was about 14 when he was promoted to Chief. Sure didn't do anything for my love life when I was in high school." I roll my eyes.

"And your mom?"

"She, um, left when I was two," I reply, wondering how close my story is to Edward's current situation. "She moved to a nudist colony in Phoenix."

"Oh," he mutters.

"What about your mom?" I ask, trying to change the subject.

"She's an interior designer," Edward replies. "I guess that's maybe where I got my artistic side."

"Is she helping you with the house?" I ask.

"She is," he smiles. "I email her photos and she sends me back her ideas. Of course, she has pretty high-end tastes. I doubt a house in Forks needs granite countertops."

Angela laughs. "I want those, but Ben won't let me have them. He's the practical one."

As our meals arrive, our conversation turns to small talk, mostly about our jobs. There's so much more I'd like to learn about Edward, but I don't want to make him feel like we're putting him on the spot.

Ben insists on picking up the tab for all of us as my birthday present. As we step outside, Alice suggests a walk down to the Landing so that we can visit the wine bar.

"What do you think, Edward?" I ask. I'm not sure how he feels about staying away from his son for longer.

"Are you sure your mom won't mind what time we get back, Alice?"

"Nah, she's a night owl. It wouldn't bother her if we get back after midnight. I think the wine bar closes at 10 though."

Edward insists on calling Carolyn to make sure it'll be fine if we're late, but I think he also needs to make sure that Masen is OK. She assures him that all is good on both fronts.

As we walk the couple of blocks, Edward and I end up lagging a bit behind the other three. "So, um, what was it like growing up without a mom?" he asks softly.

"Well, I spent a lot of time at Alice's house after school and during the summers while my dad was working. Her mom became almost a surrogate mom to me. I can't say that I really missed having a mom, but then I don't remember her ever being around. But I'll say that growing up with the parent of the opposite sex… well, it was nice that Alice's mom could be there when I needed to buy my first bra," I laugh. "I can just imagine _that_ shopping trip with my dad." It was the same when I got my first period, but I'm not going to tell him about _that_.

"So, since I have a son…"

"You can definitely handle all of the essentials," I finish.

"Did, um, did your dad ever remarry?"

"No," I shake my head. "He dated a bit when I was growing up, but never found the right woman. He's been dating a widow from the nearby Quileute reservation for the last year though. She's great and it seems to be serious."

Edward remains silent as we reach our destination, and I hope our conversation hasn't put a damper on our evening.

Once we're seated, we all decide to get our own different varieties of wine this time; Angela just orders a Diet Coke. I pounce on her as soon as the waitress has stepped away.

"Anything you need to be telling us, Mrs. Cheney?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

"No!" she answers quickly. "But we've started trying, so I'm getting into the habit of not drinking."

"Angela thinks she can perfectly time having a baby around our school calendar," I explain to Edward. He swallows thickly, staring down at the table, and my brow furrows at his strange reaction.

When the waiter brings our drinks, Ben holds up his glass. "A toast to Bella. It may be a few days early, but welcome to 25!" We all clink our glasses together before drinking up.

After a second glass each, we make our way back to where Ben parked his car. Angela offers to drive, and Ben waves off Edward when he offers up his front seat. As she starts the car, Edward leans his head back against the seat, sighing. The four of us continue our conversation, mostly without him, during the drive home.

Once Angela has dropped us off in front of our houses, I turn to Edward. "Are you missing Masen?"

"I am, but… it was nice to just have some time away for a while."

"I'm glad you had a good time," I smile.

"I did," he nods. "Your friends are nice."

"They're the best," I agree. "But that doesn't mean I don't have room in my life for one more friend."

Edward smiles, holding out his hand. I place my hand in his, squeezing gently as he shakes it. "Friends, then."

"Friends."

* * *

 **A/N** : So the question of why Edward has moved to Forks has been answered. Do you believe him?

What do you think of what Angela said in the first scene? Moosals reports that her man can handle the dishwasher, but needs supervision with the vacuum and washing machine.

Next update on **Friday** (I think). I have tickets for the Billy Joel concert on Thursday night, if they don't cancel it.


	4. Is There Something I Should Know

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response so far! Most readers think that Edward's tale of moving to Forks for the big trees probably contained a lot of editing. Masen's mom being dead is still the top guess, though it felt like a few more readers started throwing out other ideas where she's still alive.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 4 – Is There Something I Should Know_

On my actual birthday the following Tuesday, I meet my dad for dinner at the nicest restaurant in Forks, The Lodge. For the first time, he's also invited his girlfriend, Sue Clearwater, and her two children, Leah and Seth, whom I first met last Christmas, to join us.

"Bells," he greets me, standing up from the table for the usual awkward hug.

"Hi, Dad."

"Good to see you again, Bella," Sue says with a wide, genuine smile as I take my seat next to my dad. Seth, who's 16, gives me a warm hello. Leah's greeting is less warm, but a bit less chilly than the way she behaved the first time we officially met. We're the same age, but she's struggling, working at the checkout at the Thriftway since Sue was unable to afford college after her husband, Harry, died of a heart attack. My dad says it's just jealousy and Leah doesn't really dislike me.

Once we've ordered our meals, I'm shocked when Leah turns to me. "So this totally hot guy I've never seen before came into the store last week with a baby. One of the managers thought he'd bought the house next to you?"

There can only be one guy she's talking about, but I'll never hear the end of it from my dad if I recognize him by the description of "totally hot."

"Does he have kind of oddly colored reddish-brown hair?" I ask.

"Yes!" she replies animatedly.

I nod. "That is my new neighbor. He and his son moved in a few weeks ago."

"No mom?" Sue asks, brow furrowed.

"No," I shake my head. "I think they split up recently. Edward still wears his wedding band."

"Edward, huh?" my dad asks, stroking his moustache. He seems to be in cop mode.

"Yes, his name is Edward Cullen."

"Cullen? That name sounds familiar," Dad muses.

"I don't know why it should. He's not from around here," I explain. "He came from Chicago, still had the Illinois plates on his car. Maybe you've heard of someone else with that last name?"

"Maybe," he nods. "Seems like the name came across a police report or something."

"Charlie, it's Bella's birthday! No shop talk," Sue chides.

I'm amazed when my dad actually grins sheepishly. "Nice guy?" he asks.

"Yes," I smile, my heartrate speeding up. "He seems a little shy and quiet, but he's friendly. And his son is adorable! He's about nine months old now, I guess."

"Oh, that poor little boy," Sue frowns. "Having his parents split up so young. I wonder why he's not living with his mom?"

"I have no idea. It seemed like a nosy question to ask someone I hardly know," I chuckle. "Maybe she joined a nudist colony."

Sue laughs nervously, then reaches out to squeeze my dad's hand. It's so sweet that I can't help my grin. Maybe he's finally met the love of his life, nearly 23 years after my mom left us.

"I don't get it," Seth says, wrinkling his nose.

"My mom left home when I was two to join a nudist colony," I explain.

"Oh," he frowns.

"It's fine," I assure him. "It was a long time ago."

"She didn't understand how amazing you are," Dad says, winking at me. I smile widely. As a kid, I used to hesitate to bring up my mom, afraid of hurting him, but now that he's found happiness with Sue, it no longer seems to be a sore subject.

"It's really odd for a dad to end up with custody of a baby after a divorce, isn't it?" Leah asks. "Maybe Edward kidnapped his son and is hiding out here in Forks."

"Leah," her mom chides, "I think you've been watching too much TV."

"Edward would _never_ do that," I protest. "Seriously, he seems like a really nice guy. He came out with the gang to Port Angeles last weekend when we celebrated my birthday." It's ridiculous to think that Edward could have kidnapped his son and is now hiding out in Forks! Besides the fact that it doesn't seem like something he would do at all, surely he couldn't _buy a house_ without attracting the attention of whoever would be looking for him.

"It would explain Charlie recognizing his name," Seth interjects. "Maybe there's an Amber Alert out for the kid or something."

"You guys! No!" I insist. "If you'd met Edward, you'd realize this is just crazy talk. Can we change the subject, please?"

"Well, the Seahawks won their home opener on Sunday," Dad says, making me groan.

And I'm saved by our waitress delivering our salads.

* * *

Later that night, I'm watching the late news when a story comes on about two toddlers from Seattle who were found safe after an Amber Alert went out for them earlier today. Their drug-abusing parents had kidnapped them from the grandparent who has temporary custody.

I had completely dismissed Leah and Seth's suspicions about Edward a few hours ago, but… _could_ there be something to them? My mind keeps coming back to the fact that buying a house, obtaining a loan… all of that would mean giving his real name and employer information. It can't be possible to do that and not get caught if the police are looking for you.

But… what if someone is helping him? What if that person actually bought the house and it's not in Edward's name after all? Seems like that would be easy enough to check in the county records, but I'm not sure that the information would be available online after only a month.

I _could_ check the Amber Alerts though. Shaking my head at myself for even considering this, I get out my phone and search for children in Illinois who went missing in 2016 and are still missing. I'm relieved when I can't find anyone named Cullen or any baby boys less than a year old.

I feel like I've betrayed my new friendship with Edward for even thinking something so horrible, but my dad always taught me to be suspicious when the pieces don't seem to add up. Leah is right that it's odd for the dad to get custody, unless the mom is a drug addict or truly did just leave, as my mom did. I'm living proof that it _could_ happen, even if it's not the norm.

I still don't feel right about just coming out and asking Edward something so personal, but maybe if we spend more time together, he'll tell me what happened because he _wants_ to. Angela had suggested inviting him to dinner sometime, so I resolve to do just that.

* * *

The following Saturday, I hear the roar of a lawn mower start up; it sounds like it could be next door. I haven't seen Edward since I committed on Tuesday to invite him over for dinner, so I decide to take the golden opportunity to do that now.

Carolyn Brandon always had the tradition of making a big family dinner on Sundays. I've got all of her casserole recipes, but they make so many servings that I end up either eating them for a week or filling up my freezer with the leftovers; consequently, I don't make them often. But if Edward was helping me eat…

Heading outside, I walk down the porch steps, taking a minute to ogle Edward's backside as he pushes the lawn mower across his front yard. When he turns and comes back toward me, I wave to him and he shuts off the engine.

"Hi, Bella," he smiles. "Did you need something?"

As I move closer to him, I see Masen's playpen up on the porch. "I was wondering if you'd like to come over for dinner tomorrow night? I have a lot of yummy casserole recipes, but they make way too much just for me."

He smiles. "A real home-cooked meal would be great, actually. I can grill, but I'm not the best in the kitchen."

"Awesome!" I can't contain my smile. "What would you like? I'll pick up the ingredients at the store this afternoon."

"Um… can you make lasagna? That's my favorite food."

I laugh. "I remember that's what you ordered at Bella Italia last weekend." He nods, smiling. "Sure I can. Is dinner at six OK with Masen's bedtime? You can bring him along, of course."

"How about 5:30?" he proposes. "That way I have time to give him a bath before bed."

"It's a date," I smile before mortification hits me. "Um, I mean…"

Edward chuckles. "I know what you mean."

* * *

I know that I can usually have my lasagna on the table about 90 minutes after I start it, so I put a pot of water on to boil and get out the ground beef around 4pm.

I'm just checking on how brown the cheese is getting on top when I hear a knock at the door. Closing the oven door, I rush to let Edward in.

"Hi," I greet him with a smile. "And hello to you too, Masen." The baby is strapped into the removable part of his car seat. "Come on in."

Edward steps across the threshold and I try not to notice how good he looks in my house. "This way," I lead him toward the kitchen.

I've got two place settings already set at my small, round table. Edward sets his son down across the table from us. "Is this OK?" he asks. "I don't want to take the chance that he'll fall off a chair. And if I let him out of the carrier, he'll be in the next room almost before we can blink."

"It's fine," I agree, peeking at the lasagna again. It seems to be ready, so I grab a potholder to take it out of the oven.

"Oh, let me." Edward takes the potholder from my hand and instead, I move to get us drinks from the fridge.

"This looks really good," he comments, setting the baking dish on top of the stove.

I hand Edward the loaf of Italian bread, motioning for him to take a seat. Once I've brought our drinks over to the table, I cut two portions and carefully lift them onto the plates, taking the messy first piece for myself.

I barely even have my napkin spread across my lap when Edward takes a bite of the steaming hot lasagna, letting out the sexiest moan I've ever heard. "This is as good as it looks," he mumbles, his mouth still full of noodles.

I can't contain my smile. "I'm so glad you like it."

"DAAAA!"

I look over at Masen, laughing at the way he's holding his hand out toward us. "You can't have any, little boy," I chuckle, worried that the garlic and oregano might be too much for him.

"Sorry, Mase, maybe in a few months," his dad laughs.

We eat in silence for a few minutes before I get up the nerve to start subtly — I hope — probing Edward. "So, um, you said you're a writer. Do you do freelance articles?"

"Actually, no," he replies, looking over at me. "I write books — fiction."

"Oh!" I gasp in shock. "Are you published?"

"Yes, my first — well, only — book came out in November of last year."

"What's it about?" I ask, fascinated.

"Well, um, the most fitting genre would be mystery, I guess. The lead character is a detective."

The wheels in my brain start turning at that bit of info. Maybe this is why the name Cullen sounded familiar to my dad! I don't think he's a big reader, but if he did read something, a book about a detective would probably be near the top of his list.

"I know this is probably a rude question," I chuckle, "but did anyone buy it?"

"Well, I'm not looking to be the next Dan Brown, but it made it to #19 on the _New York Times_ bestseller list for Hardcover Fiction," he shrugs. "Good enough that they asked me to write more."

"You know I'm totally gonna go look for it," I grin.

"You won't find it without more information," he grins back. "I published under a pseudonym."

And my heart falls. I guess Dad _didn't_ recognize the name Cullen because he'd read Edward's book.

"Are you going to tell me?" I ask, batting my eyelashes — before I realize that I'm flirting.

"Oh, I suppose," he sighs dramatically. "My pen name is E.J. Pratt. E and J for my brothers, Emmett and Jasper. Pratt is my mom's maiden name. It was my way of thanking them for supporting my career choice," he adds quietly.

I can't help but notice there's nothing for his father in there. Or his wife. "Your father didn't support you?"

Edward shrugs. "It's not that he disowned me or anything, but… my dad — and my in-laws, for that matter — were pretty much convinced that Bree was going to end up supporting me after I failed as a writer."

"But you didn't," I murmur, my head still reeling from all of the new information. "What about a second book? You said they wanted you to write more."

"Masen was born about a month after the release, so that distracted me from writing for a bit. Once I got started, it was going well for a few months until…" He stops, swallowing thickly, then slowly shakes his head. "Well, I hit a bit of a roadblock. I'm almost done with the first draft now and ready to send it to my editor. The goal is to release the book next March."

"So is it totally different from your first book? Or a sequel?"

"I'd call it more of a series than a sequel," he answers. "Same lead character." He sets his fork down. "Could I have seconds?"

"Of course!" I nod happily. I start to scoot my chair back to stand, but Edward holds his hand out.

"I'll get it."

When I've finished my serving of lasagna, I debate getting more, but I don't want to look like a pig. Instead, I try not to stare at Edward as he finishes eating. When I fail miserably, I turn to amusing Masen, who's watching us intently.

"You're good with him," Edward says suddenly.

"I like kids," I shrug. "That's why I wanted to teach young children."

He smiles at me and I try not to swoon. When he finishes the last bite, he scoots his chair back a bit, patting his stomach. "Thank you for having me over, Bella. I've really missed having a good home-cooked meal."

"You're welcome to come every week and save me from too many leftovers," I smile. "Do you need to leave now?"

Edward pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the time, then shakes his head. "We could probably stay a few more minutes."

"You and Masen can go wait in the living room while I clean up in here," I suggest and he agrees, carrying Masen's car seat out of the kitchen.

I quickly run our dishes under the water and wrap up the leftovers to put in the fridge. When I join Edward and Masen, I smile widely at the baby standing on his own two feet, his small hands braced on the edge of my couch.

Edward looks up at my footsteps, smiling. "He's just started doing this. I can't convince him to take a step even holding onto my hands, but he's getting steadier on his feet."

"Are you sure you really _want_ him to be able to walk?" I tease, getting down on my knees on the floor with them.

"Good point," he chuckles. "I'll have to do more babyproofing around the house."

"How is the remodeling coming?" I ask curiously.

"It's coming," he shrugs. "I'm trying to work on the house whenever I get a little bit stuck with my b—whoa!"

Masen wobbles on his feet and Edward quickly reaches out to catch him, pulling his son into his arms.

"Guess you're not ready to run a marathon yet, hey buddy?" He kisses the top of his son's blond head and I nearly melt. "We'd better be going. Masen needs his bath before bed."

"Oh, of course," I reply, trying not to show my disappointment as I get to my feet. I watch Edward get the baby back in his carrier, then follow them to my small foyer.

"Thanks again," he smiles, nodding as he steps onto the porch. Once I've closed the door, I lean my back against it, closing my eyes. Could this man be any more perfect?

* * *

 **A/N** : Though she felt guilty for her thoughts, Bella started to get a bit suspicious of Edward's situation. She couldn't find anything though. BTW, there really was an Amber Alert in Seattle on that date last year; I didn't make that up!

Edward let slip a little bit of info as he was talking to Bella. Finally his wife has a name! Any change to your current theories?

You guys all know this Duran Duran song, right? I can remember hearing it for the first time on 4th of July weekend 1983, as we were driving to Niagara Falls for a family vacation.

Next update on **Monday**.


	5. Come Undone

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response so far! Many of you think Charlie may be the key to solving the mystery of Edward.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 5 – Come Undone_

That first Sunday starts a little bit of a routine, with Edward and Masen coming over every week for dinner. However, after the first week, he tends to steer the conversation toward _me_ : what was it like growing up in a small town, why did I choose to become a teacher, etc. On the one hand, I'm frustrated at not finding out more about Edward, but on the other hand, I like that he seems interested in me. Unless he just doesn't want to talk about himself.

At least I know he's not a bad guy — my dad let me know that he'd run Edward's name through the police database and wanted list and came up empty. _As if._

Edward is still the hottest man to ever set foot in Forks, but as I've gotten to know him better, I've learned that he's so much more than just a pretty face. He's still rather quiet, maybe even shy, but bits of his personality are starting to shine through.

And he loves his son — it's heartwarming to see how much. That little boy is clearly his entire world.

Just past noon on the day of what would be our fifth Sunday dinner, I get a text from Edward saying that he's not feeling well and won't be over tonight. I'm disappointed, but of course I understand. If he's got a cold or the flu or something, I don't want to catch it!

Around 10pm that night, I step out the back door so that I can wheel my trash can out to the curb for the morning pick-up. As I turn back toward my house, I see Edward sitting on his porch, his head bowed and his feet resting on a step.

"Edward?" I call and he lifts his head. I take a few tentative steps closer until I can better see his face. There's no sign of his son. "Where's Masen?"

In response, he lifts up what looks like the receiver to a baby monitor and I understand — Masen is in bed asleep.

"I thought you were sick?" I ask, trying not to sound accusing.

"I said I'm not feeling well," he replies in a raspy voice. Picking up a dark-colored bottle I hadn't previously noticed beside his leg, he swallows the rest of the liquid, then sets it in what looks like a cardboard six-pack holder and takes out another, full bottle.

I stand and watch him drink for a moment until I'm sure it's definitely beer. I don't know how many he's already had, but I'm concerned. "Do you want me to leave you alone?" I ask hesitantly.

He shrugs, reaching into the carton and pulling out another bottle, which he holds out to me. I'm not a huge fan of beer, but I'll take this as a sign he wants some company, so I accept the bottle and sit beside him.

I twist the top off and take a few tentative sips before peeking over at Edward. He doesn't look like he's shaved or slept in at least a couple of days. "What's wrong?" I whisper, hoping that he'll open up to me. I feel like we've forged the beginnings of a real friendship over the past several weeks.

He takes a long swig of his beer, then sets the bottle down beside him. "It's my wedding anniversary. Six years ago today…"

"Oh," I murmur, at a loss for anything else to say. I still know nothing more about his wife or his marriage, except from when he — I assume — let it slip that her name is Bree. I'm dying to know what happened with Bree, but I've felt like… he'd bring it up himself if he wants to talk about it. Maybe now is finally that time.

"You get married—" he whispers, then pauses to swallow thickly. "You get married and you think it's forever."

I wait with bated breath for him to continue, but instead, Edward picks up his bottle again and drains it, then swaps it out for a fresh bottle, increasing my concern.

"How many of those have you had?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Count them if you want. This is my second six-pack."

"No, I-I don't mean to sound like your mom, just… I'm worried about you."

He shakes his head. "This is far from the most difficult…" I watch Edward carefully, waiting for him to go on, but he doesn't. I'm insanely curious about what he means, but… I don't think I should push him right now.

We sit in silence as we both drink our beers. I think maybe he just wants the company. When I finish my bottle, I add it to the carton. I still see two full bottles with their caps and wonder if he plans to drink those, too.

I didn't bring a jacket for what was supposed to be a quick trip to the curb and back, so I rub my arms to warm them. "You're cold," Edward states.

"No. Well, maybe a little. I didn't plan to be outside this long."

"You can go back in."

"I don't feel right leaving you alone."

He turns to look at me, giving me a small smile, then empties his bottle and sets it back in the box. "All right," he says, getting to his feet. He's wobbly, holding onto the railing for support, and I quickly stand up to steady him.

"Why don't I help you inside?"

He nods and I reach down to pick up the baby monitor, then wrap an arm around Edward, helping him walk across the porch. He digs his keys out of his pocket and fights to open the door. Inside, I close and lock it behind us then start leading Edward toward the stairs.

"Wait," he says, pointing toward the bathroom. Chuckling, I help him to the door then leave him to do his thing in private. While I'm waiting, I make a quick trip outside to pick up the carton. I put the two full bottles in the fridge, leaving the rest on the kitchen table since I don't know where he throws his recyclables.

I hear the toilet flush and the sound of water running in the sink, then quickly station myself outside the bathroom door, still holding the baby monitor. When the door opens, I again wrap an arm around Edward's back and help him up the stairs. Flipping on the light at the top of the stairs so we don't trip over anything, I lead him into the master bedroom.

He flops onto his back on the unmade bed, groaning. I stand watching him for a few seconds, and when he makes no move to undress, I set the baby monitor on top of the nightstand and pull his shoes off.

"Edward?" I whisper. "Can you take the rest of your clothes off?"

He grunts, then nods. "Check on Masen?"

"All right," I nod my agreement.

In the nursery, I find Masen sleeping peacefully. Reaching down, I smooth his light curls. He's an absolutely beautiful baby. I wonder if Bree is blonde, or if perhaps Edward had lighter hair as a child. Maybe both.

After a few minutes, I head back to the master bedroom to check on Edward. He's stripped down to his boxers but is just lying on top of the covers, seemingly asleep. Shaking my head — and trying not to stare — I work the covers free from underneath his body and pull them up to cover his bare skin.

As I move to pull my hand away, he reaches out, grabbing my wrist. I look up at his face, seeing his eyes are now wide open and staring at me. "Don't go," he begs in a whisper.

I gaze at Edward in confusion. He tugs on my wrist until I have no choice but to move closer and put one knee on the bed. Still staring into my eyes, he slowly lifts his torso off the mattress, reaching up with his right hand to grasp the back of my neck and pull me down to him.

At the first touch of his lips to mine, I almost feel like I'm dreaming. But as they become more insistent, I open for him, moaning at the touch of his tongue against mine. While some part of me wonders about his motivation — after all, he's never appeared to be attracted to me before — the way he's kissing me is unlike anything I've experienced before.

Edward's hand slowly slides down from my neck across my back until he's grasping my ass. He tugs me toward him and I obediently bring my other knee up onto the bed, moving my right one until I'm straddling him.

Oh! I can feel his want beneath me and I whimper, bracing myself on one hand while I use the other to comb through his silky hair. I'm nearly lying on top of him now, our lips meeting again and again and again. Without thought, I begin sliding myself back and forth over his erection. God, it's been so long for me and Edward is so freakin' hot and…

I moan loudly when he brings one hand up to massage my left breast. My nipples harden instantly; it really has been too long since I've been touched by anyone besides myself. And then I yelp in surprise when Edward suddenly flips us over until he's on top of me.

"Off," he mumbles, reaching for the bottom of my shirt, and I rush to help him remove it. As soon as it's over my head, he yanks one side of my bra down, attaching his lips to my aching nipple.

"Oh fuck!" I cry out, closing my eyes as I just let myself feel.

He's still tangled in the sheets, but I can sense him scrambling to free himself. I know he's free when his fingers slip beneath the top of my jeans to open the button. As he pulls my jeans and panties down, I reach down to help him as much as I can, finally using my feet until they land with a splat on the floor.

"Oh God!" His hand is between my legs, spreading the growing wetness. Is this really happening? Does Edward really want to have sex with me?

I open my eyes when he removes his hand, watching as he shoves his boxers down. The only light in the room is coming from the hallway, but I can see his cock standing at attention. And then he lifts my right leg, sliding inside me in one powerful thrust.

"Oh!" I cry out from surprise, and maybe a little bit of pain. He's above average and it's been years for me. As if sensing my discomfort, Edward remains still, staring at me with such adoration in his eyes.

"B—" he begins, but I cut him off with my lips on his. Finally, he begins to move, sliding nearly all the way out before pushing in again. I reach up, clinging to his strong shoulders as the initial discomfort gives way to more pleasure than I can ever remember having experienced. It's like our bodies were meant to fit together like this.

I'm startled when Edward wraps his arms around me, rolling us over until I'm on top. He remains in control though, pushing and pulling me exactly the way he wants. He unhooks my bra, tossing it away before sucking my hard nipples into his mouth. I feel myself getting higher and higher from the combined sensations.

When it hits, my orgasm is almost overpowering. I go limp in his arms, surrendering easily when he rolls us back over. He takes my hands in his now, stretching them up above my head. We kiss hungrily as he continues to chase his own climax. I've never been one for multiple orgasms, but I almost feel like I could come again if he keeps this up long enough.

When his thrusts become erratic, I know that's probably not going to happen. I'm not sure I could take it if it did!

"Fuck!" Edward screams as I feel him pulsing inside me. I can finally breathe again as he slowly pulls out, flopping onto his back beside me. I lie there flat on my back until my breaths and my heartrate slow and I start to feel his spunk leaking out of me. Despite being on birth control for years, I've never had sex without a condom and it feels kind of… gross.

"Um, I'm gonna go clean up," I mumble, pausing for a moment but getting no response. On shaky legs I crawl out of bed, making my way to the lone upstairs bathroom.

When I've cleaned up, I stare at myself in the mirror. I'm probably going to have to wear a turtleneck tomorrow, thanks to the beard burn all over my neck and the upper part of my chest. I finger comb my riot of hair then take a deep breath. I really hope things won't be awkward between us.

Stepping back into the bedroom, I find Edward still lying in the exact same position. "Edward?"

Getting no answer, I chuckle to myself. _This_ part reminds me of my previous sexual encounters.

But now what? I can't just _leave_ while he's asleep, can I? That feels so wrong after what we've just shared. But it's a Sunday night and I have to work in the morning. I don't even have my phone with me to set the alarm.

Glancing around the bedroom, I spot a clock on the bedside table. I pick it up, breathing a sigh of relief when I see that it has an alarm. I set it for 10 minutes or so before my usual wake-up time then start looking around the room for my clothes. I've always hated sleeping naked.

Finding my jeans and panties near the bottom of the bed, I quickly slip my panties on, folding the jeans and leaving them on the floor near the nightstand. I see the edge of my bra peeking out from under the blankets and decide to put that on too since it's my most comfortable "weekend" bra. My shirt is half under the bed, so I fold that on top of my jeans.

After turning out the light in the hallway, I slide into bed next to Edward, pulling the covers up over both of us, and turn onto my right side, my back to him. I hear a slight moan and then his arm comes around me, making me smile. I don't quite understand what happened tonight, but I really hope it's the start of something amazing.

* * *

 **A/N** : I told someone that there weren't a lot of cliffhangers in this story, but this probably qualifies as one of them. The next chapter is titled _What Happens Tomorrow_. What do you think will happen?

Next update on **Thursday**.


	6. What Happens Tomorrow

**Author Note:** Wow, quite a response to the last chapter! Most of you are expecting something akin to a car crash.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 6 – What Happens Tomorrow_

I'm awakened by the most obnoxious buzzing _ever_. Reaching my hand out blindly, I try to shut off the damn alarm clock, but I have no idea where the OFF button is. I sit up with a groan, grabbing the clock in my hands until I finally find the correct button in the dim light.

Yawning, I set the clock back on the table, then slowly turn toward Edward, certain that the ruckus must have woken him up. Sure enough, he's sitting up beside me in bed, scrubbing at his face with his hands.

And when he removes them, he gawks at me like he's never seen me before in his life.

"What the fuck?!" he yells, scrambling out of bed so fast he nearly falls flat on his face. He stands on the opposite side of the bed, still completely naked, as he glares at me. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"What do you mean, what am I doing here? Don't you remember?" I ask in confusion. "I helped you up the stairs after you had too much to drink and you asked me to stay. You _kissed_ me."

Lifting his arms, he presses the heels of his hands into his temples and squeezes his eyes closed. I almost want to cry; doesn't he remember our night? Why does he seem so upset by the realization that we had sex? This is not at all how I expected this morning to go.

Keeping one eye on Edward, I slowly slide out of bed, picking up my clothes from where I'd left them on the floor and setting them on the spot I've just vacated. As I slide my legs into my jeans, Edward begins walking around the bed, stopping to pull on his boxers when he finds them.

"I don't know why you seem so upset. You're the one who seduced _me_."

"I thought you were my wife!" he screams, turning so I'm left staring at his naked back.

My stomach falls to my feet. He… he didn't realize it was me he was making love to? I flash back to last night, to the look in his eyes after he joined us together. What a fucking idiot I am to have not seen it then. Why would that look have been for _me_?

And why would he have looked like that at his _ex_ -wife? Unless…

A shiver runs through me as I start to put the pieces together, but I need to be sure before I freak out. "Your wife… she's d-dead, isn't she," I state more than ask.

At his slight nod, I swallow thickly. Moving as if in a trance, I finish buttoning my jeans then shrug my shirt over my head. I'm opening my mouth to apologize when Edward speaks.

"Please tell me you're on birth control," he begs, turning around to face me. The desperate look on his face brings tears to my eyes.

"I'm on the pill," I assure him — though I'll need to take last night's when I get home — and he exhales heavily in… relief? My face burns in mortification.

"I know you regret it," I choke out. "But I'm sorry — I can't."

Not wanting him to see me cry, I rush out of the room. My tears are flowing freely by the time I've reached the bottom of the stairs. I hurriedly unlock the front door and step out onto the porch, breathing in the clean morning air.

Once I've let myself in my back door, I head upstairs to shower and get ready for work. As I stand under the hot water, I allow myself to cry it out for a few minutes, but then I have to rein it in so that my eyes aren't all red and puffy by the time I get to the school.

I thought, I honestly thought, that last night could've been the start of something great. The sex was so far beyond anything I've experienced before. But then, of course it was… he thought I was his beloved wife — his beloved _late_ wife.

How stupid am I that it had never once occurred to me that Edward could be a widower? It makes so much more sense for him to have custody of his baby son if there's no mom in the picture! Something never felt right about the situation, and now I finally understand why. Should I have seen the truth sooner? Should I have known that last night wasn't about me at all? Especially since it was his anniversary!

"Get it together, Bella," I chant to myself as I shampoo my hair. I can't look like there's anything wrong when I get to school, unless I plan to avoid Angela and Jessica all day. If my eyes are red, they're going to ask questions that I'm not ready to answer.

As I step out of the shower, I wrap my wet hair in a towel, then begin drying off. I rub away the condensation on the mirror then stare into it. Not good. Not good at all.

Once I'm dressed, I head downstairs to start the coffee pot for my morning coffee. I look through the vegetable drawer in my fridge, sacrificing a cucumber to try and help the puffiness around my eyes. I must look a sight, sitting at the table with the slices over my eyes. I remove them just long enough to pour myself a cup, then go right back to it, drinking my coffee blind.

By the time my mug is empty, I've got a lot less time than I'd like to get to the school. I hurry upstairs, deciding to put on a little make-up to cover any residual effects, though I rarely wear make-up to school. It's not like a bunch of first graders would notice either way.

Once I'm as presentable as I'm going to get, I find a pair of shoes and dash outside to my car, hoping I can keep my mind far off of Edward until the final bell rings.

* * *

I see no sign of Edward when I get home on Monday night — or the rest of the week. I'd really like to talk to him, to apologize if nothing else, but I think if he'd wanted to talk to me at all, he would've shown up at my door.

I'm vegging out on the couch after work Thursday evening when my phone dings with a new text message.

 **Where are you?**

Shit! It's Thursday, I'm supposed to meet Angela and Alice at the diner. I've done well at avoiding Angela all week — thank God each grade has their own lunch period — and I'm really not sure I'm ready to face my friends. On the other hand, I'm making myself crazy going over the same thoughts again and again. Maybe it _would_ be nice to get another perspective.

I quickly text Alice back to let her know that I lost track of time and will be there in just a few minutes.

"There she is!" Angela calls with a wide grin as I slide into my spot at our usual booth.

"Sorry I'm late."

"We just ordered your drink a minute ago," Alice informs me. I look over the menu to avoid looking at them, and we place our orders when the waitress brings my drink.

"Spill," Angela orders as soon as she's stepped away. "I could tell there was something wrong from the moment you sat down."

I sigh, chewing on my lip for a moment. Might as well just rip off the Band-Aid. "Edward and I had sex." Two pairs of eyes widen almost comically.

"Then why do you look like someone died?" Alice asks, brow furrowed. "Oh my God, was he bad in bed? Or… tell me he's not three inches like that football player you almost slept with senior year."

"It wasn't at all bad," I reply, rolling my eyes at Alice for bringing up my previous most embarrassing moment. "It was… the best sex of my life."

"Then what's the problem?" Angela asks.

"The problem is… he thought he was making love to his dead wife," I state bluntly. This time their eyes _do_ widen comically.

"Edward's a widower?" Alice questions, speaking slowly as she wraps her head around the idea. "You know that for sure?"

"I do," I nod. "I asked him, when he freaked out in the morning."

"OK, I think you need to start from the beginning," Angela suggests.

I sigh, nodding before diving in. "Edward didn't come over for dinner on Sunday, but then when I was putting the trash out, I saw him outside on his porch trying to drink his weight in beer. I sat with him for a little while, then helped him inside. He stripped out of his clothes while I was checking on Masen. I thought he was asleep, so I pulled the covers up, but he grabbed my wrist and asked me to stay.

"It was like a dream from that point. He kissed me and started taking my clothes off… yadda, yadda, yadda. You two don't need the gory details," I add to their best pouty faces. "He fell asleep afterward and I didn't feel right about just leaving, so I set his alarm and spent the night."

"And he freaked out in the morning?" Angela prompts.

"Yeah, he asked me what I was doing there and then he told me he had thought I was his wife." I run my hand though my hair. "He'd told me when we were outside that it was his anniversary. I feel like the biggest idiot for not realizing sooner that nothing that happened that night was about me. It had never occurred to me that his wife could be dead."

"None of us thought about that possibility," Angela says, and Alice nods in agreement. "It seems so obvious now — why he's got custody of their son. But… Edward can't be over 30. Women that age aren't supposed to die!"

"It might not happen often, but it's not like young women never die," Alice points out. "Still, it never occurred to me either. Do you know what she died of? I mean, it could be an accident, I suppose. Or maybe she died in childbirth; that still happens."

"No, I-I didn't stick around to ask questions. But based on something he once said, I think she died several months after Masen was born.

"I was just so shocked and so… I don't know, it was really great sex," I stress again. "Here I was, falling asleep to dreams of how this could be the start of something, and then I wake up to find out that in _his_ head, he wasn't with me at all."

Alice grimaces. "Yeah, I think I'd get the heck out of Dodge too if that had happened to me."

"Have you talked to him since?" Angela asks.

"No," I shake my head. "I haven't seen him. Maybe… maybe he'll still come over for dinner on Sunday. It's not like I really know what to say to him beyond 'I'm sorry'."

"Why should you apologize?" Alice asks. "If anything, he owes _you_ an apology for treating you like that."

"He was drunk," I remind her. "I'm the one who should've noticed that something was off. It's not like he'd ever expressed any attraction for me before. And then to suddenly want me on what he'd told me would've been their sixth anniversary?" I shake my head. "I had this brief thought about his motivations right at the beginning. Like, what if his wife had cheated on him and he was trying to stick it to her or something by having sex with me on their anniversary. I almost wish that's what it would've been."

"Still, he shouldn't have freaked out and yelled at you in the morning. Especially since he was the one who started it."

"Maybe," I allow. "But I shouldn't have let it get that far. I should've trusted my instincts."

"Pssh!" Alice dismisses with a wave of her hand. "If that hunk of man had kissed me, I wouldn't have cared why he was doing it either."

"I thought we were friends, you know? What if I've messed everything up?" I lament. "What should I do?"

"If I were you," Angela begins, "I'd give him a chance to calm down and then try to talk to him. Make his favorite dinner this weekend and text him with an invite."

"And if he doesn't want to come over?"

She shrugs. "Then you wait a bit longer. I know I said that men are quick to move on, but Edward being widowed and not divorced does kind of change things. It may be months before he's ready to even think about starting a new relationship."

I wave my hand. "I'm not even concerned about _that_ right now. I just don't want our friendship to end."

Alice gives me a small smile, reaching across the table to squeeze my hand. "Don't give up hope. I just have this feeling that it's all going to work out."

"You and your feelings again," I chuckle, rolling my eyes.

* * *

I still haven't seen or heard from Edward by Sunday morning. After buying all of the ingredients for lasagna at the Thriftway, I send him a text to let him know it'll be ready by 5:30.

He never responds. And by 5:45, my eyes are tearing up as I realize he's not going to show.

And so I eat alone, putting half of the leftovers into the freezer.

Curling up on the couch later that evening, I try to look over my lesson plans for the week, but I toss them aside when I can't concentrate at all. I know Angela's advice was to wait until Edward is ready to talk, but how long will that take? I've always considered myself to be a patient person, but I'd just really like for us to talk things out and clear the air.

It doesn't help that every time I close my eyes, I see that look of love that he gave me — and that disgusted look when he woke up to find me nearly naked in bed beside him. Then there's that look of desperation as he waited for me to confirm that there was no chance he could've gotten me pregnant.

A part of me is hurt by the way he treated me Monday morning, but I remind myself that he lost his wife less than 10 months ago. He's obviously hurting, but that's all the more reason he needs a friend. I haven't seen him reach out to anyone else. I'm not even sure he's _spoken_ to anyone in Forks besides my friends and Carolyn Brandon.

I just wish I could understand that man. And then inspiration hits — Edward has written a book. I don't know the title, but he did tell me his pen name. Moving to my computer, I easily find it and place an order for my Kindle. Maybe reading his words will help me to understand him better.

With a long sigh, I sit down and pick up my notebook again. I will be patient a little longer. Maybe if I repeat that enough times, I'll actually listen.

* * *

 **A/N** : So, one big answer in this chapter — Bree is dead. And now Edward is avoiding Bella. She's taking more responsibility for her actions than her friends think she should, but then they've only heard her side of the story. Where do they go from here? And do you think Bella is right that Bree didn't die in childbirth?

Next update on **Monday**.


	7. My Own Way

**Author Note:** Again, quite a response to the last chapter! Readers seem to be split though, with some blaming both of them, some angry with Edward for being harsh with Bella, and some angry with Bella because they believe she took advantage of him.

I have to say, I hadn't expected that reaction at all. Given that we're in Bella's head for the scene, I see nothing in there that indicates any kind of intent to take advantage of the poor drunk widower. She doesn't know that he's grieving his wife, since she has assumed all along that he was divorced or separated. She'd also been having a coherent conversation with Edward outside just a few minutes earlier; he isn't blackout drunk as his comment in the morning indicates.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 7 – My Own Way_

Halloween is my favorite holiday. I know that might sound weird, but I just love dressing up in a fancy costume and walking into my classroom to see how all of my students have dressed up. I've had my costume — Queen Elsa from _Frozen_ — purchased for several weeks, but this year when the big day comes around, I'm not really feeling it.

You see, Halloween also marks two weeks since I've spoken to Edward.

I do my best to forget about Edward and put a smile on my face at school. In the afternoon, the elementary school students parade down Forks Avenue in their costumes, and as is tradition, all of the store owners come outside to watch and wave.

I leave my costume on when I get home so that I can answer the door for the trick-or-treaters as Elsa; the blond wig is really getting itchy though. Once I've finished dinner, I turn on my porchlight and get my bowl of mini candy bars ready. I'd like to bake homemade treats for the kids, but even in a small town like Forks, parents are always worried that they'll be poisoned.

As I pass out the candy to one batch of children after another, I can't resist peeking over toward Edward's house. His light isn't on; I don't know why I expected it to be. I wonder if he even knows about the trick-or-treating tonight. I wonder if he bought a costume for Masen — though obviously he's too young to eat any of the candy. Still, I think most modern parents like to dress up their young children just for the photo op.

I wait until 15 minutes after the designated ending time before turning out my porchlight. I still have a handful of candy left. I usually bring it into my classroom for my students but I wonder about taking it over to Edward.

No. He'll see right through me. It's only been two weeks; I can be patient a while longer.

* * *

The weekend before Thanksgiving — five weeks since I last spoke to Edward — my patience finally runs out. I just can't stand the thought of Edward and Masen spending the holiday alone. Given what Edward has told me about his cooking ability, he'll probably have a frozen turkey dinner, and that's unacceptable in my book.

My dad and I have been spending Thanksgiving with the Brandons for as long as I can remember. After double checking with Alice's mom that she can handle another mouth to feed — especially since Sue, Leah and Seth will be there this year — I decide to invite Edward to spend the day with us.

I wait until an hour after Masen's usual bedtime before putting on my coat and heading next door. I ring the doorbell, then stuff my hands into my pockets while I wait. As the seconds tick by, I begin to worry that Edward will know it's me and pretend he's not home, though I can see his car in the driveway. The front door doesn't have a peephole, but still… I worry.

I'm startled when the door swings open. Edward looks shocked to see me for a moment, but then leans casually against the door frame. He doesn't speak.

"Um, hi," I begin nervously. Shit, I should've memorized a speech or something. "Um, I-I wanted to invite you to Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday with me — and my family. Um, and Alice's family. I can't stand the thought of you and Masen all alone."

He stares at me for a moment before licking his lips. "My parents are coming tomorrow."

"Oh!" I exclaim in surprise, my eyes widening.

"They're staying for the week. Mom couldn't stand the thought of us alone either," he adds with a small smile.

"That's… good. Great. I'm glad you'll have something better than a frozen dinner to eat." And I really am, even if I'm disappointed that he won't be spending the holiday with me. I mean us.

"Right," he nods. "Yeah, so…" He shrugs, taking a small step backwards, as if to close the door.

Frowning, I realize I'm being dismissed. I turn around, taking two steps before pausing. "I'm sorry," I blurt out, before he can't hear me anymore.

I listen for the sound of the door closing, and when it doesn't come, I slowly turn back around. Edward takes his hand off the door, crossing his arms in front of himself, and I take that as a sign that he's willing to listen to what I have to say.

"I'm sorry," I repeat. "I… it's no excuse, but… I truly believed that you and your wife—"

"Bree," he interrupts.

"Bree," I repeat, nodding. "I truly believed that you and Bree had split up. It had never occurred me — to _any_ of us — that she could be… dead That you were grieving." I want to ask him what happened, but I sense that now isn't the right time. "You were drunk, and… I should've realized… I should've stopped you.

"I miss you," I continue. "I miss your company on Sunday nights. I miss the friendship we were forming. I miss watching Masen grow."

Edward begins shaking his head before I'm done speaking. "It's better if we aren't friends."

I frown, confused. "What does that even mean? Better for whom?"

"For both of us. I-I'm sorry too."

I stand in shock as Edward takes a step backwards, until he's able to close to the door. Staring at the closed door, I wonder if this could possibly have gone any worse.

* * *

Tuesday is the last day of school before our three-day Thanksgiving break. I pull into my driveway just as a well-dressed couple who appear to be in their 50s get out of a Town Car parked in front of Edward's house. Slamming my car door, I stand watching for a moment as they lift the trunk and begin pulling out several plastic bags.

Without another moment's hesitation, I walk up to them. "Need any help?"

"Oh, hello," the woman smiles at me. This must be Edward's mother; she shares his coloring almost exactly. "That would be great. Could you get the turkey? I don't want Carlisle to throw his back out again."

"Hey," he exclaims good-naturedly.

"Of course," I chuckle, lifting the double-bagged turkey. Good lord, it must weigh over 20 pounds! If it's really just the three of them, Edward will be eating leftovers for a week.

"It's not frozen," I note, putting a hand underneath the bag so it doesn't break.

"Never!" the woman says, a look of disgust on her face. "I only buy fresh turkeys."

Carlisle manages to close the trunk lid with his arm, then we begin walking up the stairs onto Edward's porch. He must have heard us coming, because he opens the door just in time. I try not to glance at him as I walk past him into the house.

Setting the bag down on the kitchen table, I move to open the fridge, but Edward beats me to it. "I've got it," he says, moving a couple of things around until there's room for the turkey. I set it on the shelf, then begin helping his mother find the other perishable items in the bags.

"Oh!" she exclaims. "I'm so sorry I didn't introduce myself. I'm Esme Cullen, Edward's mother, and this is his father, Carlisle."

"It's nice to meet you both." I shake both of their hands warmly. "I'm Bella Swan; I live next door."

"Are you and Edward friends?"

"Ma," he says in a warning tone. "Yes, I've gone out with Bella and several of her friends."

"Good," she says with a wide smile. "I hate to think of you isolating yourself." I decide it's better to keep my mouth shut about that one.

"Thank you for the help, Bella," Carlisle says. "I think Esme practically bought out the Thriftway."

"It's no problem," I assure him with a smile.

"Do you have plans for Thanksgiving, dear?" his wife asks, and I start to understand Edward's earlier reaction a bit more. She almost appears to be matchmaking.

"I do. My dad and I have spent the holiday with good friends of the family for many years. I will be baking the pies tomorrow," I add with a laugh. "That's the only thing Mrs. Brandon will let me bring."

"Thanks again, Bella," Edward says, and once more I get the feeling I'm being dismissed.

"I'll see you later, Edward," I reply for his parents' sake. "Nice to meet you, Dr. and Mrs. Cullen."

I quickly head out to the foyer, before his mother can make another matchmaking attempt. I'm not sure I could take feeling rejected by Edward one more time.

* * *

My hands full of the three pies I baked, I use my elbow to ring the Brandons' doorbell on Thursday afternoon.

"Bella!" Carolyn greets me, opening the door so I can step inside. She leads me into the kitchen — which smells amazing — hugging me as soon as I've set the pies down on the counter.

"Do you need any help cooking?" I ask, though I already know her response.

"Oh no," she waves her hand, "I've got it. You can wait in the living room with the others. Your dad isn't here yet," she adds, though I'd already guessed as much when I didn't see his cruiser parked out front.

I find Alice seated on the loveseat, while her older sister, Cynthia, and her family take up the couch and her dad rests in his usual recliner. "Hey, Alice," I greet her as I plop down beside her.

"Hi! What kind of pies did you bake this year?" she asks eagerly, making me roll my eyes.

"Pumpkin, apple and a new recipe for coconut cream."

"Mmmm… sounds amazing, as always."

Just then, something happens in the football game, making her dad yell at the TV, even though it's not even the Seahawks playing. We all turn our attention to the game for a few minutes, until Alice turns to me during one of the commercials.

"So… I guess you couldn't convince Edward to come for dinner."

"No," I reply, "but he's not alone. His parents showed up last weekend; I met them on Tuesday."

"Interesting," she murmurs. "Just his parents? Edward said he has two brothers, right?"

"Right," I nod. "He only mentioned his parents, and I didn't see anyone else."

"So how did he take it when you invited him? Or did his parents arrive before you got a chance?"

"He… well, he wasn't rude, exactly. Just kind of dismissive. He let me know that his parents were coming and assumed that was the end of the conversation.

"I apologized," I confess quietly, not really wanting Alice's dad to overhear — though he seems to be engrossed in the football game again. "And… he said it's better if we aren't friends."

Alice wrinkles her nose. "What an odd thing to say!"

"I know, right?"

The doorbell ringing effectively ends our conversation. Knowing it must be my father, I yell out, "I'll get it!" before getting up to answer the door.

"Hey, Dad," I greet him, motioning for him to step inside, followed by Sue, Leah and Seth.

"Charlie!" Carolyn calls out, stepping out of the kitchen to hug him warmly. "I'm so glad you could make it, welcome," she says to Sue and her kids. "Now you guys just get settled in the living room until dinner is ready. It should only be about 10 more minutes."

After I make all of the introductions, Alice and I move to the floor so that my dad and Sue can take the loveseat.

"How was school this week, Bells?" Dad asks.

I roll my eyes dramatically. "It was only two days, but it felt like about 20! The kids were all so ready for the break to get here. It was tough to hold their concentration for their lessons."

"I don't know how you can stand a classroom full of first graders," Leah says. "I think I'd lose my mind."

"Most of the time they're really great," I reply with a smile. "I love getting them at such an impressionable age. I feel like I can really make a difference."

"I am never having children," she says, shaking her head. "No, thank you. Little monsters, all of them. You should see the damage they can cause at the store." I try not to grimace, hoping that Alice's sister, Cynthia, who's sitting with her well-behaved four-year-old son, isn't offended.

Once dinner is ready, we all crowd into the dining room. Mrs. Brandon has added a leaf to the table so there is just enough room for all of us. After she leads us in saying grace, we each pick up the closest dish and begin filling our plates.

"How old are you, Seth?" Mrs. Brandon asks as we eat.

He swallows quickly. "Sixteen, Ma'am. I'll be 17 in three more months. I'm a junior at the high school on the rez."

"You mentioned a store earlier, Leah?" Cynthia asks. Damnit, I was hoping she hadn't heard that conversation.

"I work at the Thriftway," she replies.

"I'll bet you had a busy week," Carolyn says with a smile.

"The worst," she confirms. "Like, how much food do people need for one day? And where do all of the people come from? Seriously, a couple I'd never seen before in my life came and bought a bunch of food on Tuesday."

"Oh?" her mother asks, and I think I know who she's talking about.

Leah nods. "They were a bit older than you — really fancy, well-dressed. Not the type you usually see in Forks."

And now I'm sure I know who she's talking about. I clear my throat. "That was probably Edward Cullen's parents. I saw them unloading a bunch of bags from the Thriftway just as I got home on Tuesday."

"His parents?" Sue asks.

I nod. "They came to make sure he wasn't spending the holiday alone."

"Any sign of his ex-wife? Surely she must get some visitation."

I sit silently for a moment, waiting for someone else to speak up. Alice must have told her mother about Edward's wife. But when Alice gives me a slight shake of her head, I realize that she hasn't.

"Um… I found out last month that Edward's wife died."

"Oh!" Carolyn exclaims, bringing her hand up to her chest. "Why, I had no idea! He never said a thing."

"None of us did," I confirm.

"That poor man. And the little boy! Do you know what happened to her?"

"I don't," I shake my head. "It's obviously difficult for him, so I didn't ask for more than he volunteered."

"I don't know what I would've done without my friends and family after Harry died," Sue comments. "It's great that Edward's parents were able to come spend the holiday with him and his son, but why would he move so far away from them?"

"I'm not sure of that myself." I frown, picking up my glass of water. Yes, why _did_ Edward choose to move across the country after his wife's death?

* * *

 **A/N** : So, Bella's patience ran out after five weeks and she apologized, but Edward said it's better if they aren't friends. Where have we heard that before? :)

That didn't stop Bella from being a nice neighbor and helping out his parents with their groceries. We'll meet the rest of Edward's family in the next chapter. Any theories on why he moved so far away from Chicago?

Next update on **Thursday**.


	8. Winter Marches On

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response so far! Readers still seem to be split, between those who think Bella is too pushy and those who think Edward is acting like a jerk. Bella cuts him a lot of slack due to his grief.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 8 – Winter Marches On_

Just over two weeks later, Angela, Alice and I drive to Port Angeles for our annual Christmas shopping trip. It's not like there's much selection in Forks — though I do usually find some nice handmade pieces from a shop on the nearby Quileute reservation, where Sue lives. I tried to be nice and invite Leah to come with us, but she has to work all weekend.

By the time we arrive at a gourmet burger restaurant for dinner, we're all tired, but Angela especially seems to be dragging. Once we've ordered our meals and sat down, I learn why.

"So I have news," she says coyly. "I'm pregnant!"

And now I know why she insisted on a more casual restaurant as Alice and I scream loudly, jumping up to crush our friend in a hug.

"I _knew_ it!" Alice says smugly. "You haven't touched alcohol in months."

"How far along are you?" I ask curiously, re-taking my seat.

"Twelve weeks," she smiles. "I'm due June 24."

"So you got your wish to have the baby early in our summer vacation!"

"Yep," she smiles widely. "I've only got a short cushion, but everyone says first babies are usually late."

"Are you planning to learn the sex?" Alice asks.

"Yes, but that won't be until late January, at the earliest. I think I'd probably die of curiosity if we didn't find out!"

"Of course you would," I chuckle, knowing my friend's taste for gossip. "I'm so happy for you and Ben!" I reach over to give her another hug, just as our number is called for our meals.

"You stay here and rest, Mama," Alice says with a grin. "Bella and I will get them."

* * *

After just one more week, classes let out for Winter Break. I head out to do a bit more shopping on Sunday, since I couldn't very well buy Alice's and Angela's gifts when they were right there with me. Even though I'm sure there will be a baby shower for her later, I buy a couple of things to give to Angela as Christmas gifts for the baby.

I've got so much in my truck that it takes a couple of trips to carry everything into my house. As I go back for the last load, I see Edward step off of his porch carrying Masen, followed by his parents and three other people closer to my age.

"Hello, Bella," Mrs. Cullen calls, waving to me.

"Hello," I greet her, trying not to look at Edward. "I didn't know you were back in town."

"We just arrived today," she confirms. "Oh, these are my other two sons, Emmett and Jasper." I'm not sure which is which, but they're both tall like Edward — one has short, dark curly hair and the other has longer blond wavy hair. Both are nearly as good-looking as Edward. "And this is Emmett's wife, Rosalie," she says, pointing toward a beautiful blonde woman. Well, at least one is off limits to Alice.

"Nice to meet all of you. You're a bit early for Christmas," I chuckle, with the holiday still a week away.

"Tomorrow is my only grandson's first birthday," she replies. "So we all decided to spend this week with Edward and Masen. Emmett and Rosalie will spend Christmas with her family in upstate New York, and Jasper has to work over the holidays."

"We were just heading out for dinner," the dark-haired one says. Now that he's put his hand on the woman's back, I assume he's Emmett. "Any place you'd recommend?"

"In Forks? The Lodge is the nicest restaurant in town, but I'm kind of partial to the Forks diner. I eat there every week with my best friends. Pacific Pizza is also good."

"I don't think I'm up for a big meal," Mrs. Cullen says. "It's been a long day between the early morning flight, the drive over from Seattle, and then grocery shopping. Edward never has anything in his refrigerator."

"Ma," he complains, rolling his eyes and making me smile. I haven't seen much of him since that week of Thanksgiving.

"It's true, Edward! He also didn't listen to me when I told him to order my grandson's birthday cake last week. When we stopped by the bakery today to order one, they said they couldn't have a cake ready by tomorrow. I'm going to have to bake it myself from a box mix, but it won't look as nice as a store-bought cake."

My ears perk up at that. Edward may be ignoring me, but this is about his son — not him. "I can bake Masen a cake, Mrs. Cullen. I work at the bakery during the summer months when they need extra help. I have since I was in high school."

"Really?" she asks skeptically.

"Really," I assure her. "I know all of their recipes. Which flavor do you want? I'll bake it first thing tomorrow."

"How about chocolate?" Emmett suggests, rubbing his hands together.

His mother glares at him. "It's your brother's decision."

"I'm all right with chocolate, but you really don't have to go to the trouble, Bella."

"I want to," I promise, smiling at Edward. God, he just gets better looking every time I see him. And Masen has grown so much since the last time he and his father came over for dinner. "I love baking. You know I considered going to culinary school before I decided to go into teaching. Is there any particular theme you'd like for the decorations?"

"Oh dear," Mrs. Cullen laughs, "I'm afraid I'm not really up on what's popular with the younger generation."

"Well," I smile, "last summer, most of the requests for little boys were for Paw Patrol or dinosaurs."

"Dinosaurs are cool," Emmett pipes up. "Can you make a dinosaur?"

"I'm sure I could," I nod. "Is that all right with you, Edward?"

"That sounds great," he replies quietly. "Thank you."

"It's my pleasure, really."

"I guess we'll be off to dinner then," Dr. Cullen says. "Good seeing you again, Bella."

I grab my last two bags out of the truck as Edward settles Masen into his car seat. His parents climb into his SUV as well, while his brothers and Rosalie get into a large SUV that I hadn't noticed earlier, parked in front of the house. I wave to them as they back out of the driveway.

I decide to head back out later that evening to pick up all of the ingredients at the grocery store, so I don't have to worry about it in the morning. Cake decorating isn't my usual job at the bakery, but I'm happy to help them out. Masen's first birthday is obviously a special occasion for them, with the whole family here to celebrate. I kind of feel a kinship with that little boy, growing up without a mom.

* * *

I know the bakery has dinosaur-shaped cake pans, but I figure that I can just make a normal 9x13 cake and pipe an image of a dinosaur on top. While the cake is in the oven, I browse the internet looking for possible designs. Since I'm not an artist, I think I'll be better off with something more cartoon-like than a realistic image. When I find one I like, I print it out and cut out around the dinosaur to make a template.

Once the cake has cooled completely, I mix up a batch of my favorite cream cheese frosting, which just seems to go well with any cake flavor, and frost the entire cake. Next, I mix up a special decorator frosting and begin dyeing it different colors. I pipe the border in green first, then place my dinosaur picture on top and trace around it with a toothpick. Little by little, I cut the template into pieces, using my toothpick to draw in the image until I think I can handle the rest freehand.

As the dinosaur begins to take shape, I smile at my work. Not bad, if I do say so myself. Not as good as the real pastry chefs at the bakery can do, but hopefully good enough to impress the Cullens. I finish it off by piping a "Happy Birthday, Masen!" message.

Just as I've finished, I hear my phone ding with a text message.

 **Mom wants to know if you can be over at 5:30 with the cake.**

 _Sure_ , I text back, surprised at a message from Edward after so many weeks. That gives me three hours to clean up my disaster of a kitchen and change into less grungy clothes that aren't covered in flour and powdered sugar.

When the time comes, I pick up the cake to deliver it next door. "Hi, Bella," the blond man — Jasper — greets me when the door swings open. "Come on in!" I wonder about potentially introducing him to Alice this week. He's perhaps a bit pretty and not rugged enough for her taste, but there's no denying the looks that run in this family.

Everyone seems to be gathered around in the kitchen, which smells amazing. I set the cake down on the counter, opening the box to show them.

"Oh, wow!" Emmett exclaims. "That looks way better than I expected!"

"Thanks… I think," I chuckle.

"It really does look great, Bella," Mrs. Cullen smiles at me. "Go on, have a seat."

"Have a seat?" I question, noticing that there are three extra folding chairs — for a total of seven — around Edward's small rectangular table, along with Masen's high chair.

"Of course," she smiles. "You didn't think we'd let you just drop off the cake and not ask you to stay for dinner, did you? I've made a pot roast with roasted potatoes, carrots and green beans. It should be ready shortly."

 _Oh shit._ I can't really be rude and turn her down though. "That sounds wonderful, thank you, Mrs. Cullen."

"Oh, it's Esme, please." I smile at her, nodding.

As I take my seat, I notice Edward is not even looking at me. I assume he was aware of his mother's plans, but I can't tell how he feels about it.

"Are you a Forks native, Bella?" Jasper asks once our plates are full.

"Yes, I've lived here my entire life, except for college in Seattle."

"Don't you get bored?" Emmett asks. "Man, 24 hours in this town and I'm already bored. You could probably visit every restaurant within your first two weeks."

I laugh. "Well, it's not the right town for someone who's really into nightlife, or attending concerts and sporting events other than the local high school events. But Port Angeles is only a bit over an hour away. Maybe that seems far to you, but we're used to it. It's also nice to live a half hour from the Pacific Ocean, and so close to the mountains and forests. It's great if you like the outdoors."

"Did you say you're a teacher, Bella?" Esme asks.

"Yes, I teach first grade at Forks Elementary. One of my best friends, Angela, is a kindergarten teacher there. The other, Alice, is in the medical field like several of you — she's a nurse at Forks General Hospital."

"You actually have a hospital?"

"Emmett!" Edward growls.

He raises his hands in a defensive position. "Just sayin'!"

"We're not _that_ backward!" I chuckle. "Honestly, I don't think Forks is any different from any other small town."

"Is it a safe community?" Dr. Cullen asks.

"Oh yeah, the crime rate is really low. I'm a bit biased though, since my dad is the Chief of Police."

"I'll bet that was fun when you were growing up," Rosalie chuckles.

"It did tend to keep the boys away," I reply, rolling my eyes.

"Hey, so, speaking of dates — where can you go in this town for a night out?" Emmett asks, reaching for seconds from the plate of pot roast.

"Well, most high school dates would just be at the Forks diner I mentioned yesterday. There is one bar in town. It's not large, but they've got a 30-year-old jukebox, a small dance floor, and a pretty decent craft beer selection."

His eyes light up. "That sounds interesting. I brew my own beer, so I'm always interested in trying local favorites. What day do you go out with your friends? Maybe we could all go together, to the diner and then the bar."

"Thursdays," I reply, trying not to search for the look on Edward's face at _that_ invitation.

"Oh," he frowns. "We've gotta get up super early on Friday morning to drive back to Seattle for our flight home."

"Well, Angela and I are off all week, so we could go any time. Let me text Alice to see when she's working, and I'll check with Angela on Ben's schedule."

After taking several photos, Esme offers to cut the cake. I take the opportunity to dash off a couple of quick texts to my friends.

"Mmmm… this is really good, Bella," Rosalie gushes after Esme brings her the first piece of cake.

"Thank you," I reply, feeling my face heat up a bit. "It's the bakery's recipe."

"Delicious," Dr. Cullen agrees. "My son gets his love of chocolate cake from me," he adds with a huge grin.

Esme puts a small piece on a paper plate in front of Masen — who's decked out in a birthday bib — then gets her phone ready to start filming it. After eyeing the cake suspiciously, he reaches one of his chubby little hands out to touch it. He stares at his dirty hand for a moment, then leans forward, biting off an edge piece of the frosting to our raucous laughter.

And then he dives in again and again, his little face soon covered in green and white frosting from his nose to his chin.

"Mase, you gotta try the actual cake!" Emmett laughs.

"Maybe you should cut him a slice," Jasper suggests. Chuckling, Edward picks up his own knife, cutting a small slice out of the piece of cake. He leaves it on the tray, then takes the paper plate with the rest of the cake away.

"Uhhh!" Masen reaches for the plate but after Edward points at his tray, he finally picks up the small slice of cake and takes a bite out of it.

"Now you've got it!" Grandpa Carlisle cheers him on.

Well, not quite, as Masen soon discovers that it's more fun to crumble the piece of cake in his hand than eat it. When he again reaches for the plate, Edward relents and sets it down for his son to dive in a few more times.

By the time we've decided Masen has had enough sugar for the night and Esme has stopped recording, my sides hurt from laughing so hard.

"Man, that was great," Emmett says, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. "Your son is a riot, Edward."

He smiles sadly. "I just wish his mom could've been here to see this."

"We all do, man," his brother replies.

Patting her son on the shoulder, Esme carefully removes the bib and lifts Masen from his high chair. "I'll give him his bath," she says gently.

I automatically jump up and start collecting the plates, bringing them over to the sink. While Rosalie clears the rest of the table, I wrap up the remaining cake and make space for it in the fridge. Edward's parents must've been doing his grocery shopping.

"You guys don't have to clean up," Edward says, shooing them away. The others reluctantly move into the living room, while I stay behind and begin rinsing the dishes.

Edward looks at me questioningly. "Um, I'm sorry if my presence tonight bothered you," I tell him quietly, so that the others can't overhear. "I didn't want to be rude and say no to your mother's invitation."

"It's fine," he shrugs.

"I can tell them that my friends are busy if you don't want us joining you."

"No, it's — I haven't seen your friends in a while. I'll live," he adds with a small shrug.

Nodding, I go back to my task and together we get the dishwasher loaded and started in no time at all. I pick up my phone from the table, seeing replies from both of my friends.

"Alice is working 9-to-5 shifts, so she's available any night," I report once we've joined the rest of the family in the living room. "Ben has court early on Thursday, so he can only do tomorrow night."

"Tomorrow night it is," Jasper declares with a grin.

* * *

 **A/N** : Was that a slight warm-up at the end? What did you guys think of Edward's family?

The first 2,000 words of this chapter were written back in November, before a long break. The remaining 80% of the story was written in just over three months. Hopefully it's a seamless transition.

Next update on **Monday**. It's a night out on the town! Any Duranies want to guess the title?


	9. Last Night in the City

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response so far! Readers are still taking sides and still split between which one they'd most like to smack. Everyone liked Edward's family though… except maybe one reader.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 9 – Last Night in the City_

We agree to meet at the Forks diner for dinner at 6:30 before heading out to the one bar in town. Dr. and Mrs. Cullen are staying home babysitting Masen, so it's just the younger generation enjoying a night out.

When I arrive at the diner, Angela and Ben are already there and have pushed two tables together for the eight of us. They're seated next to each other in the middle, facing the door, and I smile at the idea that we're not going to have a "boys' side" and "girls' side" as I so often see with my students.

"Hey guys," I greet them as I pull out the chair across from Ben.

"So whose idea was this get together?" Angela asks curiously after the three of us have ordered drinks.

"Edward's brother Emmett. He's clearly not the type of person who could ever move to a small town," I chuckle.

"And… Edward was OK with it?" she asks tentatively, glancing at her husband. I assume Angela has not told Ben any of what happened between Edward and me.

"He said he's missed you guys," I reply with a small smile. That's almost what he said, anyway.

"Hello, hello!" Alice calls, breezing past us to take the seat on the end next to Angela. "I'm so excited to meet Edward's brothers," she squeals.

"One of them is married," I remind her. "And his wife is gorgeous."

"That's OK, I only need one man," she grins.

"There's Edward!" Angela calls suddenly, raising her hand and waving it to catch his attention. I turn around in my seat, smiling in welcome as the gang steps closer.

Emmett immediately goes for the chair next to Ben, with Rosalie across from him and to my right. Edward is sort of lagging behind, and is forced to take the chair to my left after Jasper chooses to sit across from Alice.

Since I'm in the middle, I decide to make the introductions. "It's a pleasure to meet you," Jasper says, kissing the back of Alice's hand once I've introduced her. She giggles and I can't help rolling my eyes. Maybe he's not too pretty for her after all.

Our waitress quickly returns to take the rest of the drink orders and drop off menus. Of course, the four of us locals probably have it memorized.

When Edward closes his menu fairly quickly, I look over at him curiously. "Do you eat here often?"

He shrugs. "Sometimes, when I don't feel like cooking. It's a pretty chill atmosphere in case Masen starts acting up."

Emmett sighs dramatically as he closes his menu and I look up at him in amusement.

"I could really go for a steak, but when in Rome, right? I think I'll try the catch of the day."

"The seafood is usually pretty good here," I confirm with a nod.

Once we've placed our orders, I find myself caught between the conversations at both ends of the table. Jasper and Alice seem to be comparing notes on ER cases they've worked on, delighting in grossing out everyone who can hear them, while Rosalie, who's a paralegal, is also talking shop with Ben.

"So much smarter than me," Emmett says of his wife proudly.

"You can hardly be dumb if you made it through EMT training," I tell him.

"Eh, I did flunk out of medical school though."

"Did you really?" I chuckle.

"Yep, after my second semester. I've got a touch of ADHD and couldn't handle all of the studying. I love being a paramedic though, being first on the scene. I think I watched too many episodes of _Emergency!_ on TV Land when I was growing up."

* * *

Once we've eaten, we decide to leave our cars in the diner's lot and just walk the block-and-a-half up the street to the bar. It's an early dinner crowd with the elderly Forks residents, so it's not like our four parking spots will be needed an hour before closing.

As expected, the bar isn't all that crowded on a Tuesday night. It's dark inside, with an old Bon Jovi song playing on the ancient jukebox.

Angela volunteers to stake out a couple of high-top tables while the rest of us walk up the bar. While the guys peruse the craft beer menu, Alice and I order our usual mixed drinks — Moscow Mule for her and Eclipse for me. I notice Rosalie just asks for a Sprite and assume she's the group's designated driver.

Once we've got our drinks, we join Angela at the two high-top tables she's grabbed and pushed together.

"Your Diet Coke, my love," Ben says, setting the glass down with a flourish. Angela rolls her eyes, laughing at her husband's antics.

"You're not drinking?" Rosalie asks.

"No," Angela shakes her head. "I'm pregnant."

"Really? So am I!" Rosalie announces proudly.

"When are you due? I'm due June 24."

"A couple of weeks after you," Rosalie replies with a smile. "Is this your first child as well?"

"Yes," Ben replies proudly, wrapping his arm around his wife.

Suddenly, I hear the sound of one of the stools scraping the floor as it's pushed back. I turn my head in time to watch Edward walk toward the door, bottle of beer in hand.

Rosalie looks up at her husband, a guilty look on her face. "I totally forgot," she says, cringing.

"Is everything OK?" I ask in confusion.

Emmett sighs, running his hand through his hair in a gesture so similar to his brother's. "Yeah. We, um, we hadn't told Edward yet about Rosie's pregnancy. We were kinda afraid of a reaction like that."

I frown, but then it all starts to make sense to me. Edward must be remembering how happy he and Bree were last year when they were expecting _their_ first child.

"Maybe you should go make sure he's all right," Jasper suggests. Emmett readily agrees, grabbing his coat and walking out of the bar.

With the two guys gone, Angela and Rosalie begin comparing notes on their pregnancies. Angela nearly has me in stitches with her stories of feeling like one of her kindergarteners having to use the bathroom all the time.

When Emmett comes back, I'm disappointed to see that he's all alone.

"Edward's fine," he answers before any of us can ask. "He just needs to be alone for a while."

"Are you sure?" Angela asks with concern.

"This has always been his way," Jasper explains. "He's not great at letting people in when it comes to what's on his mind. He holds it all in and tries to deal with it himself."

"Yeah," Emmett nods. "He should have learned his lesson years ago." I look at him questioningly. "Edward knew for years that he didn't want to follow Dad into medicine, but instead of speaking up, he went along with it, even enrolled at Northwestern as pre-med. When he finally came clean sophomore year, there was a bit of a blow-up. It would've been easier on everyone if he'd spoken up back in high school."

"I see," I reply, frowning.

"I think Bree was the only one he ever felt comfortable talking to," Rosalie says sadly. "They were already married when I met Emmett and just seemed like they really complemented each other."

"Yeah, Bree was good for him," Emmett adds. "And she was a good person in general. We all miss her, but we came here this week determined to make it all feel as normal as possible. Not dwell on her death, you know? Because I imagine Edward spends his days dwelling on it, not talking to anyone."

"Unless… he talks to you guys?" Jasper suggests.

"N-not really," I admit. "I didn't even find out for several weeks that Bree had died. And since then… well, we've had a bit of a… falling out," I confess, although I definitely don't want to get into what happened between Edward and me.

"Oh?" Rosalie replies.

I nod. "It was their anniversary and he was upset and… I didn't realize the extent of his pain." There, I hope that vague explanation covers it.

"Well, how could you if he never told you?" Jasper says with a sad smile. "Don't beat yourself up over it."

"I'm not, not really. But I do miss the friendship we'd been forming."

"Don't give up on him," he replies, reaching across the table to pat my hand.

"How did Bree die?" Alice asks curiously.

"You don't know?" Jasper asks, sounding shocked. He glances around the table at all of us, and I shake my head in answer to his question.

"I, um, I think that's Edward's story to tell then," Emmett says. "I'm sorry."

"Could you… could you at least tell us _when_ she died?" I ask cautiously. I'd like to be prepared when the day comes.

Emmett and Rosalie glance at each other, before he gives her a subtle nod. "In July," she answers to my surprise. Her death must've still been so raw for Edward when he showed up in Forks. "Actually right around my due date. I'm not sure if I do or don't want our baby to be born on the same date she died."

"We've already decided to name the baby after her — Brian," Emmett adds.

"And if it's a girl?" Angela asks.

"Pffttt… my first child is gonna be a boy," he boasts. "Clearly boys are in the Cullen genes." We all have a good laugh at that.

"All right, so this night is supposed to be fun," Emmett declares, hitting his fist on the table. "There's a dance floor, so I think I'm gonna go dance with my wife." Standing up, he reaches for Rosalie's hand, leading her out onto the floor.

"That sounds like a plan," Ben agrees, and I smile as he and Angela join them.

"So how long have you two been friends?" Jasper asks once just three of us remain.

"Since we were four," Alice replies. "Bella is like my sister. I do have an older sister, but there were enough years between us that I was closer to Bella."

"How many years are between you and Edward?" I ask curiously; I still don't even know how old Edward is!

"I'm the middle child — two years older than Edward and three years younger than Emmett," he replies. "I just had my 30th birthday a few months ago."

"So Edward is 28," I deduce. "He said it would've been his sixth anniversary last October."

"Yeah," Jasper nods. "He and Bree got married a few months after graduating from college. Shocked us all," he laughs. "For the baby to be the first one married, I mean. Especially since he was always the shy one. He didn't date much in high school; Mom asked me once if I thought he was gay.

"Could you girls hang on for a few minutes? I'm gonna get another beer," he announces, standing up. "Would you like another round?"

"Sure," I nod, and Alice agrees as well. I only have another sip or two left in my glass.

Alice exaggeratedly smashes her lips together, watching over her shoulder until Jasper reaches the bar. "Oh my God!" she squeals once she's sure he's out of hearing range. "I thought Edward was good looking, but wow…"

"Isn't he a bit prettier than your usual type?" I chuckle.

"He's not _pretty_ … he's handsome. Like an old-time movie star," she sighs. "Maybe I can take him home with me tonight. How does Edward's entire family sleep in that house, anyway? Isn't it a three-bedroom?"

"It is," I confirm, swallowing the last bit of my drink. "Edward has a bed set up in the spare bedroom, and maybe his couch pulls out into a bed. I'm not sure where Jasper would sleep though."

"Perfect," she grins. "He'll be much more comfortable with me. Do you think maybe you can skedaddle for a while?"

"Skedaddle?" I laugh. "Sure, I'll… go dance or something."

When Jasper returns, I have to laugh, since he looks like a waiter carrying two glasses and two bottles of beer.

"You needed two beers?" Alice asks as he sets them all on the table.

"The second one is for Edward; I figured he's probably about empty, too."

Alice kicks me under the table, and I know what I have to do. "I'll take it to him," I announce as I put my coat on. I gather up the drinks in both hands, thankful that another patron helps me with the door.

Outside, I find Edward seated on the edge of the small wooden porch in front of the bar. For a moment, it reminds me so much of that night back in October that I wonder if I should go back inside. Alice would kill me though.

"Hey Edward," I call out so as not to scare him. As he turns to look, I sit down beside him and hold out the bottle of beer. "Jasper got this for you."

"Thanks," he says quietly, taking the bottle from me. "Why didn't he bring it?"

I'm quiet for a moment, really hoping that wasn't code for "go away."

"Um, Alice kind of wanted some alone time to get to know Jasper," I confess.

"Oh."

"Brrrrr," I shiver, rubbing my arms through my coat as I look up at the sky. "I think it might rain. Or snow," I add with a chuckle.

"I'm fine," Edward shrugs. He's only wearing a leather jacket, so I don't know how that can be a true statement.

I take a sip of my drink, then clear my throat as I try to figure out how to begin this conversation. "You know, Emmett said you're all right, but…"

"I am," he says softly. "It's not like I'm not happy for them, because I am. It just brings up a lot of memories."

"I wish you'd tell me about them. Let me in, Edward," I plead, placing my hand on his shoulder.

He turns to look at me for a moment — really look at me, in a way he hasn't since before that night — then sighs, turning back to stare out at the empty street.

"I don't think I can talk about it," he finally replies in a raspy voice. "Maybe someday, but not yet."

"That's fair," I whisper. "You know I really do miss our friendship. If I could take it back, I would."

He looks at me again, then nods. "I know," he says, giving me a small smile.

And then the first cold drop hits my nose. By the third drop, I realize it's more sleet than rain. "We'd better go in," I announce… unnecessarily.

Edward smoothly gets to his feet, then holds out his hand to help me up. I take it gratefully, then step inside the warm bar when he holds the door open for me.

I've no sooner set my glass on the table and taken off my coat than the song _Footloose_ comes on the jukebox. Alice grabs my hand, dragging me out onto the dance floor with the others. I motion to Edward to join us, but he just shakes his head.

After dancing to a few more 80s hits — the jukebox hasn't been updated since around 1990 — Jasper has finally had enough and drags his pouty brother out with us.

And we dance and drink until closing.

* * *

 **A/N** : So, a few answers in this one! And likely more questions?

Also a bit more thawing from Edward, and some early heat between Alice and Jasper. Do you think she'll get her way and bring him home for the night?

Next update on **Thursday**.


	10. Careless Memories

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response so far! We've crossed 1,000 reviews!

I think I need to remind readers that Bella told her friends right after she and Edward had sex that she wasn't concerned about a relationship with him. She knows he's still grieving, so she's put it out of her mind for now. She's only interested in being a friend to someone who needs one.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 10 – Careless Memories_

I'm awakened by the ding of my phone. Groggily, I reach for it on the nightstand, and through bleary eyes, read Alice's text message.

 _Can you believe it? Jasper is a gentleman._

 **I'm assuming that means you didn't get some last night.**

 _Sure didn't. But we exchanged numbers at least._

Chuckling, I drag myself out of bed. Now that I'm more awake, I realize I really need to pee.

I wasn't _really_ drunk last night, but since I was probably over the legal limit, I got a ride home with Rosalie, Edward and Emmett. When Angela said she'd make sure that Alice and Jasper got home OK, I assumed that Alice had gotten her way and Jasper would be going home with her… but I guess he didn't.

After my shower, I get dressed and check the weather on my phone. It's cold, but not like last night, and sunny. I decide to walk off my slight hangover by making the 1.5-mile trek to the diner lot to pick up my car.

As I walk, I think back to last night. By midnight, Edward seemed almost "normal." He actually seemed to be having fun, for perhaps the first time since July. I still can't believe that Bree's death was so recent. If she died around Rosalie's due date, which is two weeks after Angela's, then it must've been only about six weeks before Edward and Masen arrived in Forks. He didn't waste any time moving nearly as far away as he possibly could. I imagine Chicago must have held a lot of memories for him.

Once I reach my car, I drive to Port Angeles to pick up a Christmas gift for Masen. It may or may not be partially an excuse to go see his father this weekend.

I feel like maybe we came to some sort of understanding last night, like he gave silent permission for me to take tentative steps toward continuing our friendship. I know I can't push him too far too fast, but… baby steps.

* * *

When Saturday morning arrives — Christmas Eve — I wait until I'm sure that Edward will be up before heading next door, wrapped box in hand. I had briefly considered buying something for Edward as well, but in the end decided that that was too big of a step.

"Oh, hi, Bella," he greets me after opening the door. I have to make a big effort not to stare at him, he looks so good; his dark green sweater really brings out the color of his eyes.

"Hi," I smile back. "I, um, brought a gift for Masen."

"You didn't have to do that, but thanks. Come on in and you can give it to him."

He takes a step back, giving me space to walk past him into the house. "Mase, someone is here to see you!" he calls, leading me into the living room. The little boy is sitting on the floor, pushing a large plastic truck back and forth.

"You got a tree!" I exclaim, spotting the colorfully decorated Christmas tree in the corner. And it looks like a live one, not artificial.

"Um, yeah," he says, scratching at his head. "Mom wanted photos of Masen with the tree, so we all went out Wednesday to pick it out."

"It looks great!"

"The women folk did most of the decorating," he explains. "Well, Emmett put the star on top. That's been his job since Dad had to hold him up so he could reach."

"I like your theme with all of the red, gold and silver ornaments."

"They're all new," he replies quietly. "Except for Masen's first Christmas ornaments from last year. I-I couldn't bring myself to reuse the ones I'd bought with Bree. Mom picked these out… I didn't really care."

"Well, it looks nice anyway." I get down on my knees, setting the wrapped present in front of Masen. "Masen, this is for you."

"Need help, buddy?" I smile widely as Edward joins us on the floor, helping his son rip the paper off the box. "Oh wow, look Mase! Your own laptop!"

"Rah!" he yells excitedly, playing with the paper.

"The teacher in me can't resist giving educational gifts," I laugh.

"It's great, thanks, Bella."

"I hope he likes it, too." I take a deep breath before going on, since he's acting friendlier toward me than he has in over two months. "And, um, I was wondering… I'm making Christmas Eve dinner later for my dad, his girlfriend, and her kids. You and Masen are more than welcome to join us since your family left. It's ham, not lasagna, but…"

"We're fine," he replies when I trail off. "It's always been our family tradition to celebrate on Christmas Day, beginning with waking up to presents under the tree and then a big dinner. Today is just a normal day to me, really."

"You're sure?" I ask skeptically.

He nods. "I don't want to intrude on your family celebration. The diner is open until six; maybe we'll go out tonight for dinner since they're closed Christmas Day," he shrugs. "Thanks for the offer though; I really do appreciate you thinking of us."

"Well, OK, but if you get lonely, you know where to find me," I reply, standing up. "I need to get started on the ham."

"Thanks again for Masen's laptop," he says, standing to walk me out.

"My pleasure, really." I give Edward a little smile and a wave as I step outside. I never really expected him to accept my invitation, but it was worth a shot.

* * *

New Year's Eve and I'm in my pajamas by nine. I feel like I'm 65 instead of 25 as I sit curled up on the couch watching a taped version of one of the celebrity-filled TV specials.

At the first ding, I think it's something on TV, but when it sounds again 20 seconds later, I realize it's my phone.

 _Are you home? - E_

 **Yes. Why? Did you need something?**

 _Some company? If you're busy it's no big deal._

 **Give me 10 minutes.**

A huge smile on my face, I turn off the TV then jump up from the couch. Edward actually wants my company! I can't go next door like this, however, so I quickly run upstairs and pull today's outfit out of the hamper, brushing out the few wrinkles before getting dressed.

I throw on my coat, and then as I pick up my keys, I make a detour into the kitchen. Opening the fridge, I choose a bottle of one of my favorite Washington state wines, hoping it's not too sweet for a man's taste.

Bottle in hand, I step outside into the cold and walk over to Edward's house. When the door opens, I smile widely. "Hey, Edward. I, um, I brought some wine… if-if you want some, that is…"

"Sure," he smiles, taking the bottle from me. "Thanks for coming on short notice."

"It's not like I had anything better to do," I reply with a wink, following him into the kitchen. He rummages around in a drawer, finally finding an opener to remove the cork from the bottle.

"Where are your friends? Or your dad?" he asks, selecting two wine glasses from an upper cabinet.

"Dad is on a date with his girlfriend, Sue. Alice is working, and Angela and Ben went to Seattle for the weekend. One last big New Year's Eve before they become parents."

Edward hands me a glass with a sad smile, then starts walking toward the living room, where I can hear one of the New Year's specials coming from the TV. "Last year, Mom and Dad came over to watch Masen so Bree and I could have our first night out since his birth. We were so exhausted from the late night feedings that we were home and asleep by nine."

I sit beside him on the couch, not at the opposite end, but maybe three feet away — an acceptable distance, I hope — then take a sip of my wine.

"Will you tell me about her?" I ask quietly. "About Bree? If-if it's too painful, you don't have to."

"Like what?"

"Just… anything," I shrug. "When did you meet? You married young. Were you high school sweethearts?"

Edward sighs, sipping his wine, then sets it on the end table next to him. "We met in college, the first semester of sophomore year, in an anatomy class. I was still pre-med then. Bree was friends with my lab partner, and when she learned that I was struggling, she offered to tutor me."

"Wait, Bree was a doctor?" I interrupt, shocked.

He shakes his head. "Pharmacist. Anyway, as we worked together, I confessed that I really didn't want to become a doctor, and Bree encouraged me to be true to myself. I still took a bit of a coward's way out, talking to my advisor and changing my major to English with a Creative Writing minor, even registering for classes, all without telling anyone in my family.

"When I went home for Winter Break, I finally told my parents. It didn't go well, at first, but then my mom stuck up for me. She said she'd never want to see a doctor who really didn't want to be a doctor," he laughs.

"When I went back to school after the break, I finally got up the courage to ask Bree on a date. From that point on, we were inseparable. We were best friends," he says wistfully, wiping a stray tear from his eye.

"I suppose we did marry young, but what was the point in waiting? I proposed and gave her an engagement ring for Christmas during our senior year. Most girls seem to want a June wedding, but not Bree. Her favorite season was autumn. She loved to go on long drives to see the trees changing colors. She consulted a Farmer's Almanac to find the expected peak fall color and chose that weekend for our wedding date. We got married outdoors in a park and it was beautiful. She was beautiful," he says sadly.

Looking down, I realize that at some point, I reached out and took Edward's hand in mine. He doesn't even seem to realize it.

"Do you have a photo of her?" I ask curiously.

Edward turns his head to stare at me. "Sure, I have some, but it hurts too much to look at them right now."

"Oh, of course," I reply quickly, deciding that maybe it's best to change the subject a bit. "So… did you just start writing after graduation or did you have a, you know, real job?"

He chuckles lightly, removing his hand from mine to pull at his hair. "I had a real job. During college, I interned at a publishing house. I was basically a glorified personal assistant. But they hired me on as a junior editor after graduation. It wasn't what I wanted to do, but I knew it was good experience. It took me almost three years to complete my first novel, working on it in the evenings when Bree was busy with something else.

"After a few months, I got brave enough to show what I'd written to someone at work, one of the more senior editors. She… didn't have the best things to say about it, but she did give me some really good feedback, once I was ready to listen to it. I ended up scrapping it entirely versus rewriting it.

"I finished my second book nearly two years ago. This time when I showed it to my friend, she liked it. I was shocked when the company accepted it for publication, though I did have to spend several months editing."

"And it came out in November last year, you said?" I really enjoyed Edward's book after I bought it, but the main character was so different from Edward that it didn't really help me to understand him.

"Yeah," he nods. "I did a few book signings, even some out of town, but as we got closer to Bree's due date, I was afraid to leave her alone in Chicago.

"And that brings us back to where we started, right? To passing out early one year ago today."

I sit silently for a few moments. I want to ask him for more, but I'm afraid of pushing too far. I need to keep him on more neutral subjects.

"I'm gonna get a refill," he says suddenly. "You want more?"

"Oh, sure." I hand Edward my glass, slipping my shoes off as I make myself more comfortable. He's back just a couple of minutes later, and I take a sip of the fresh wine before beginning.

"So… when did your start on your latest book?"

"When Bree's maternity leave was up, we made the decision that I would quit my job and stay home with Masen. Neither of us could bear to put him in daycare, plus it would give me the opportunity to write full time, since Masen slept so much early on. So it was probably early February when I first had the chance to start typing out the thoughts in my head."

"Wow, a stay-at-home dad!" No wonder he's so good with Masen — months of practice. "Did anyone give you shit about staying home while Bree worked?"

"Not to my face," he says, shaking his head. "But I know some of her coworkers said some things. It was the best decision for us though. Her job paid more than mine, plus I could write a lot faster if my writing time wasn't limited to a couple of hours per day."

"It does make sense," I agree.

Edward suddenly starts tearing at his hair again, gazing over at me with a tortured look on his face. "I wonder—" he breaks off, swallowing thickly. "Do you think if Bree had stayed home, if Masen had spent more time with her, would he remember her?"

I stare at him for a moment, opening and closing my mouth. "My mom left when I was two, and I can't say that I have any memories of her being my mom," I reply carefully. "Sure, I spent two weeks with her during a couple summers, so I remember _that_ , but of her actually raising me? No. So, no, I don't think it would've made any difference with Masen. You can't beat yourself up over it, Edward."

"Thanks," he whispers.

Reaching out, he grabs my hand, tugging lightly until I scoot closer enough that he can put his arm around me. "And thank you again for coming over. After I put Masen to bed, I just felt so alone. I'm alone every night, but… it just felt worse tonight. Like the walls were caving in on me. Like I should be ringing in the New Year with someone else."

"I'm really glad you texted me," I reply, smiling up at him.

"It's not like I have any other friends," he says, winking at me. My smile widens at the idea that he's considering me a friend again.

We sit like that, watching television together, until the clock strikes midnight and the ball drops in Times Square — on tape due to the time zone difference. As the audience begins to sing _Auld Lang Syne_ , the camera focuses on the various couples kissing as they ring in 2017.

I'm startled when Edward suddenly stands, both hands tearing at his hair. "I shouldn't be doing this," he mumbles, mostly to himself I think.

"What's wrong?"

The bang-bang of nearby firecrackers breaks the tension. Before he can answer me, a wail sounds from the baby monitor; the noise woke Masen.

"I need to go to him," Edward says in a raspy voice. "I think I'll go to bed then."

"Sure," I agree quietly. I can take a hint. "I'll, um, just the rinse the glasses and then head out, OK? I, um, had a nice time tonight."

"Goodnight, Bella," he calls, racing up the stairs — and giving me whiplash.

* * *

 **A/N** : Much more thawing from Edward, until his mini-freak out at the end! Though he doesn't say it, I think having his family around for a week exposed him to human interaction again, and now he's lonely without it. We got some background on his relationship with Bree, but Bella knew better than to ask him about her death.

Next update on **Monday**.


	11. Leave a Light On

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response so far! Most of you think that Edward is harboring a bit of an attraction for Bella, whether he wants to or not.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 11 – Leave a Light On_

Despite the way our night ended, I still feel like New Year's Eve was a bit of a breakthrough for Edward and me. He no longer seems to go out of his way to avoid me. He waves if we happen to run into each other in our respective driveways. It's progress, anyway.

In mid-January, the schools have a long weekend due to the Martin Luther King holiday. I take the opportunity to do a little shopping in Port Angeles on Sunday, since I'm getting a bit tired of the winter clothes I've had for several years.

When I arrive home, it almost seems like Edward has been waiting for me, as he quickly appears on his porch, holding Masen, while I'm climbing the steps to _my_ porch.

"Bella!" he calls. "Could I talk to you for a few minutes?"

"Sure." I open the front door with my key, motioning for Edward to follow me. I set my bags down as I start taking off my coat and boots, then lead him into the living room.

Masen is walking now and he takes off as soon as his dad sets him down. "Mase! Stay close, OK? Bella's house isn't baby proof."

The little boy looks up and smiles, then reaches for the remote control on the edge of the couch.

"You learn quick, huh?" I laugh. I hurriedly remove the batteries so he can't do any damage, then hand it to him.

"What did you need, Edward?" I prompt him, taking a seat on my couch.

"Oh, um… I need to go back to Chicago for a while, so I was hoping you could watch the house for me. I've got a couple of those timer things for the lights that make it look like someone's home. And I put a hold on the mail, but you know how sometimes free newspapers or whatever are left on the porch."

"Oh, sure, I could pick those up; I do the same for my dad when he goes out of town. It's no problem," I smile.

"Great," he smiles back. "And if it snows or something and you need to shovel your walk, could you do mine as well?"

"We rarely get more than a trace of snow, but sure," I chuckle. I guess Edward did come from an area that gets a lot more snow and ice than Forks.

"Thanks." He sounds so relieved. Did he think I wouldn't help him?

"So how long will you be gone?" I ask curiously.

"Oh, um, I don't know for sure… A couple weeks maybe."

"I hope everything's OK? I mean, neither of your parents is sick, are they?" I also really hope nothing has gone wrong with Rosalie's pregnancy, but that seems to be a hot button issue for Edward, so I don't bring it up.

"What? Oh no, they're fine. Everyone's fine."

I look at him questioningly.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I can't… I can't talk about it right now. Maybe when I get back."

"All right then," I agree quietly, though I'm disappointed that he won't open up. "If you need anything, you have my number."

"Right."

"When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow," he sighs.

I glance at the clock over the TV. "I need to get started on dinner. You and Masen are welcome to stay. It's not lasagna, but I was planning to make this yummy seven-layer casserole. Everyone always thinks it's lasagna when I bring it to potlucks, until I point out that it has _cheddar_ cheese on top," I laugh.

"I guess we could stay," he agrees. "Though I may need to go home and pick up some toys and things for Masen, probably his high chair, too."

"Oh, of course!" Standing, I pick up the toddler and smile at him. "Masen and I will be in the kitchen when you get back."

While Edward runs next door, I set Masen on the kitchen floor, then grab a couple of old Tupperware mixing bowls out of the cabinet, handing them to him along with a wooden spoon. Hopefully that will be enough to entertain him for a few minutes.

"Wahhh!" he cries when I turn on the faucet.

"That's right — water!"

After preheating the oven, I pop the package of frozen spinach in the microwave to thaw, then add the ground beef to a large skillet to begin browning, all the while keeping an eye on Masen. I have no idea how parents cook with a young child in the house.

"Back!" Edward calls, stepping into the kitchen with a large diaper bag over his shoulder and Masen's high chair in his hands. He sets it down near the table, then picks up a protesting Masen to put him in it before removing the toy laptop I bought from the bag.

"Do you need any help, Bella? I'm not very good in the kitchen, but…"

"Actually, I could use your help since there are a lot of steps to this dish. Can you chop an onion? And drain the spinach once the microwave dings." I add the noodles to the pot of boiling water, giving the meat another stir.

"I think I can do that without cutting my finger off," he chuckles.

Fifteen minutes later, the casserole is assembled and in the oven. "Teamwork!" Edward exclaims, high-fiving me and making me smile widely.

"Forty minutes to bake," I announce, "so we should probably sit down and relax."

Edward lifts his son, who's looking awfully sleepy, out of the high chair and carries him into the living room. " _Now_ he's tired," he laments, rolling his eyes. "He refused to take a nap earlier."

I smile, watching the way he encourages Masen to lay his head on his lap.

"He's so much like his uncle Jasper," Edward says quietly, stroking his son's blond hair.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, besides having Jasper's — and my dad's — hair, Masen just seems to really feel the emotions around him, like Jasper does. I think he can feel that I'm anxious before our trip and it's making him a little anxious, too. I just couldn't get him to settle down earlier."

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about the trip?" I try again.

"I'm sure, but… th-there is something I wanted to talk to you about." He clears his throat. "Um, I want to apologize for way I acted on New Year's Eve. For the way I've acted for the last three months, actually."

"Edward, you don't—"

"My turn to talk," he chides me gently. "I know you apologized for… what happened, but it isn't fair to place 100% of the blame on you. I was drunk, but I remember enough to know that I was the instigator. I know that nothing would've happened if I hadn't made the first move."

"That's true, but… I didn't trust my own instincts that something was wrong. I-I guess… I wanted it to be real," I confess quietly.

Edward looks at me with a pained expression. "I like you, Bella, but… it's too soon—"

"Oh, I know that!" I interrupt. "I didn't know then that Bree had… passed away. I'd assumed you were divorced, or at least separated."

"I know that she's gone, but… it feels like I've betrayed her," he whispers. "Even… even spending New Year's Eve with you feels like a betrayal. Rationally, I know it's not, but… I'm not rational about this yet."

He peeks up at me through his lashes, looking so sad that I just want to reach out and hug him so tightly. I still remember how good it felt to touch him.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

Slowly, I reach out, rubbing his upper arm through his sweater. "I just want to be your friend, Edward. I wish you could let me in, but I do understand that you're not ready."

He gives me a small smile. "I appreciate that. I've always had to do things in my own time. When I get back… maybe then we can talk."

I smile, nodding.

"So what did you buy?" he asks, nodding toward my bags, still on the floor by the entrance to the living room.

And I let him change the subject.

* * *

A few days later, I meet the girls at the diner for our weekly dinner date.

"Oh my God! I feel the baby," Alice exclaims, hugging Angela.

"I know, right? Ugh… I had to break out the leggings this week since I can't button any of my work pants anymore. I need to go shopping this weekend for some maternity clothes."

"You haven't bought them yet?" I ask in shock.

"Well, no," she admits sheepishly. "I think I was in denial that I was actually going to get bigger until, like, Spring."

"Good luck shopping," Alice says. "I was talking to Jasper last night, and he related this story about Rosalie and maternity clothes. She was complaining that they're more expensive than regular clothes, but of a much lesser quality. But he did say she's a bit of a fashionista."

"Great," Angela grumbles.

Our waitress stops by then to take our orders. "So… you were talking to Jasper, huh?" I prompt once she's walked away, waggling my eyebrows.

She blushes. Boy-crazy Alice Brandon actually blushes! "We exchanged numbers when he was here, and… yeah, we've texted a bit and we talk on the phone maybe once a week. I really like him," she confesses. "He's, like, the perfect Southern gentleman."

"I thought the Cullens were from Chicago?" Angela asks in confusion.

"They are, but Jasper did his residency in Austin, Texas," Alice explains. "The locals must've rubbed off on him."

"So is it serious?" I ask curiously. "I mean, Jasper lives 2,000 miles away."

"We're just getting to know each other; we haven't talked about the future at all. I-I'm really not sure what could happen. Jasper loves his family and I love mine. I don't know if either one of us would be willing to move. I could maybe see myself living in Seattle, since Cynthia lives there, if he'd be willing to move but would prefer to live in a big city."

"Do you have plans to see each other again?" Angela asks.

"Mayyyybe," she teases. "He floated the idea of me visiting him in Chicago over Spring Break."

"Hey, Alice," I begin, as soon as the idea pops into my head. "Did Jasper say anything about Edward being back in Chicago this week? He left Monday and said it could be for a few weeks, but that's all I know."

Her brow furrows. "No, Jasper didn't mention that. He did make some sort of cryptic comment though about it being a tough time for everyone. But then he changed the subject and I never got around to asking him about it. Sorry."

"Hmmm… it's not the anniversary of Bree's death," Angela muses. "Rosalie said that's not until July. It's close to the six-month anniversary though? Maybe they've just gotten a special headstone for her grave or something. But I don't think they usually take that long," she shrugs.

"I hope their parents aren't sick," Alice says.

"No, I asked Edward that and he said everyone's fine. I think Angela's on the right track and it's related to Bree somehow. Maybe they've set up some sort of memorial or something like that for her."

"That makes sense," Angela nods. "I suppose you could Google her."

"Google Bree?"

"Sure," she shrugs.

I wrinkle my nose. "That just seems… I don't know, like an invasion of privacy or something. Edward said he'd maybe talk to me when he gets back. I can wait a week or two."

"Suit yourself," she grins.

* * *

The following Monday, we get a dusting of snow while I'm at school. When I get home, I pull into my driveway, then remember Edward's plea about shoveling his walk if we get snow. It's not nearly deep enough to shovel, but I do back out and pull into his driveway to leave tire tracks, before backing out again and parking in my own drive. Thankful I wore boots today, I climb the steps to his porch to leave footprints, before crossing the two driveways and climbing my own steps.

I survey my work from the porch, pleased with my efforts. I think it's a little silly, honestly, as Forks averages only a couple dozen burglaries annually. I doubt there are people driving around looking for homes that don't appear to be occupied. I understand that Chicago is a different story, however.

Once inside, I pull out my phone to send Edward a quick text, now that he's on my mind. **Thinking of you** , I write, hoping that sounds friendly enough. I don't necessarily expect an answer.

As I sit down at my computer to check my email, Angela's comment from last week about Googling Bree starts running through my head. Should I? Will it hurt anything if find out whatever it is before Edward tells me? I suppose it will if I'm unable to act surprised — or whatever the appropriate response should be — when I hear it from him.

No, I think I can pretend like I don't know. Before I can change my mind, I hurriedly type "Bree Cullen" into the search bar and hold my breath.

Surprisingly, not much pops up. I see a couple of Twitter profiles, LinkedIn profiles, a Facebook page for a model in Phoenix… a GoFundMe for a woman with cancer. I hurriedly click on that, until I see that it was posted only a couple of months ago — and the woman is from Kansas City. Nothing else seems out of the ordinary, or even worth clicking on. If there was some big story here, I assume it'd be on the first couple of pages of results.

Kicking myself for even checking, I shut down my computer. I'll just have to be patient until Edward is ready to let me in.

* * *

 **A/N** : Edward finally apologized, which should make some of you happy! And now he's gone on a mysterious trip back to Chicago. What do you think he's doing there?

Some readers have been calling for Bella to Google Bree, and she finally has, but she didn't find anything! I Googled "Bree Collins" for ideas on what she'd find — the things writers do.

Next update on **Thursday**.


	12. Before the Rain

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response so far! I do have to say that I'm baffled at how many think Bella is so pushy when Edward is the one who came to her in the last chapter! She's approached him twice in three months, once to apologize and once to drop off a gift for Masen.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 12 – Before the Rain_

Ten days after my failed adventures in Googling, I come home to find Edward's SUV parked in his driveway. Finally, he's home! I consider stopping by to say hi, but decide against it. I don't want to seem too anxious to see him.

By the time I'm about to leave to meet the girls at the diner, I'm too curious about Chicago and decide to stop by anyway to invite him to come out with us. I imagine he doesn't have any food in his house after two and a half weeks away, unless he stopped at the Thriftway on his way home.

When Edward opens the door, I'm startled by his appearance. He has a few days' growth of beard and dark circles under his eyes that make him look a bit like a vampire. Has he even slept since he left Forks?

"Hi, Bella," he says quietly.

"Welcome back!" I greet him warmly. "I, um, saw your car when I got home. I was just headed out to dinner with the girls and wondered if you and Masen would like to come out with us?"

He sighs, running his hand through his hair as he leans against the door jamb. "I don't think I'd be very good company right now."

"You look exhausted," I note, hoping he isn't insulted.

"I _feel_ exhausted. I've been trying to take a nap since I got home, but I can't get Masen to settle down."

"Maybe I could take him for a few hours?" I suggest. "Give you a chance to get some rest."

"I-I don't want to impose, but… I'd really like that." He must _really_ be exhausted if he didn't even argue with me.

"You're not imposing if it's my idea," I tease him.

"Well, then come on in for a minute." I follow Edward inside, where he picks up Masen's diaper bag from the kitchen table and hands it to me. "I never unpacked it. There should be a jar or two of baby food inside. He can have the milk from the diner. You should take my car, I guess? The car seat is kind of a bear to move, and I already fought with it twice today."

"That's fine," I nod.

Once Edward has put Masen's coat on, he carries his son outside and straps him into the car seat while I adjust the driver's seat until I can actually reach the gas pedal. I never realized Edward's legs were quite so long! I don't bother adjusting the mirrors for the short trip.

"He usually goes to bed around eight," Edward says, "but I'm sure he's mixed up from the time change and the long nap on the car ride home from SeaTac."

"I can keep him a bit longer than that, it's no problem. Get some sleep, Edward. I hope you feel better."

"Thanks." He gives me a small smile, waving as he steps away from the car.

After backing out of the driveway, I make the short trip to the diner, then try to figure out the buckles to get Masen out of the car seat. Maybe I should've watched Edward earlier.

I know Masen can walk, but to avoid having to wrangle him if he tries to run away from me, I carry him into the diner, the diaper bag slung over my other arm. "Look who I've brought!" I greet my friends brightly when I spot their booth.

"Oh my gosh, is that Masen?" Alice exclaims.

"Yep! Edward and Masen came back from Chicago today. Edward wasn't feeling up to going out, so I volunteered to watch this little one to give him a chance to take a nap."

"We should probably move to a table then," Alice suggests, sliding out of the booth. While she pulls over one of the high chairs, a waitress slides the fourth chair away from the table to make room. I smile at her in thanks as I attempt to get Masen settled in the high chair and take his coat off. I pull a couple of small toys out of the bag to hopefully keep him occupied, along with a jar of baby food.

"Let me sit next to him," Angela proposes. "I could use the practice feeding a baby."

"Didn't you used to do a lot of babysitting when you were growing up?" I remember Angela telling me about watching the unruly kids during her father's sermons.

"Yeah, but I usually just gave the little ones bottles."

"Masen, this is Angela and Alice," I introduce them. "Can you say their names?"

"Aaarrr!" I can't help laughing; he kind of sounds like a pirate.

"He is just a doll!" Alice squeals. "Oh my God. And he looks a lot like his Uncle Jasper, too."

I chuckle. "I think he looks like his daddy. I forget you guys haven't met Masen before, have you?"

"No, we haven't — at least I haven't," she confirms.

"I haven't either," Angela says. "Masen's always been inside when I've been by the house."

Once we've placed our orders, Angela opens the jar of baby food and starts to feed Masen while we wait for our meals. "So, you said earlier that Edward wasn't up to going out. Is he sick?" she asks.

"I don't think so. He just looks like he hasn't slept in two weeks. Alice, have you gotten anything out of Jasper about their trip?"

"No," she sighs. "Not that I've tried all that hard. When I last spoke to him Monday, he seemed kind of stressed. I assumed it was work related, but maybe it wasn't."

I frown. "Well, maybe Edward will talk to me at some point. From the way he looks, it must be something big."

* * *

After dinner, I drive Edward's SUV back home, then bring Masen into my house with me. It's been nearly 10 years since my teenage babysitting days, and I don't own any toddler-oriented DVDs, but I find something on TV that seems to fascinate him enough to allow me to get a bit of work done, sitting beside him on the couch.

When he finally falls asleep around nine, I text Edward to make sure _he's_ awake, then carefully lay Masen over my shoulder and carry him next door.

"Thanks, Bella," Edward whispers, taking his son from me.

"Are you feeling more rested?" He looks slightly better.

He shrugs. "A bit. Just those few hours helped."

"Why don't you call Alice's mom and see if maybe she can watch Masen for you tomorrow? I'd be happy to do it, but I have school."

"I might do that," he nods. "Thanks, again. I'm gonna see if I can get him undressed without waking him."

"I'll text you when I get home tomorrow and see how you're doing, OK?"

He smiles in response and I wave as I head back home.

* * *

As promised, I text Edward when I get home from work on Friday, but he doesn't respond for two hours. Upon learning that all he's eaten all day was a Pop Tart, I invite him over for dinner. I have some leftover chicken from earlier this week which I decide to shred as a filling for enchiladas.

Edward knocks on my door shortly after I've gotten dinner in the oven. "Hey," I greet him, noticing right away that he's alone. "Did you take my advice and call Alice's mom?" I'm happy to see that he looks much better than last night, though he still hasn't shaved. And he's wearing sweatpants.

"Yeah," he nods as he steps inside. "She was able to pick up Masen around noon, after an appointment this morning. I think I'm mostly recovered now; I really needed today to myself. I asked her to bring Masen by around seven, to try to get him back on schedule, so I can't stay very long after dinner."

"Oh, right." I try not to sound as disappointed as I feel. "You can have a seat at the table; dinner will be ready in about 10 minutes."

"Thanks, Bella. Mom would have a fit if she knew I haven't been taking care of myself."

"And she should," I tease him. "Did you stay with your parents when you were in Chicago?" I may or may not be trying to subtly steer the topic to his trip.

"Yeah," he nods.

"Did… everything go OK there?" I ask tentatively.

He swallows thickly, nodding. "It was nerve-wracking for a while, but in the end we got what we wanted."

"Oh-kay?" I'm confused by his comment, having no idea why he was there.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I'm not ready to talk about it. Not… not during dinner. Not if I don't want to ruin my appetite."

I smile softly. "I understand. Well, you haven't missed much here. It's Forks; nothing much ever happens," I chuckle.

"The girls and I enjoyed spending time with Masen last night," I continue. "Angela got a chance to practice feeding a toddler. You know I don't mind babysitting him for you any time you need me to, but next time remind me to grab one of your kiddie DVDs."

"Deal," he smiles. "I know I need to let go and take a bit more time for myself. Mom is worried about me not having much of a life of my own."

When the oven timer goes off, I grab dinner from the oven, spooning two enchiladas onto each of our plates. "Nothing fancy," I apologize as I set one plate in front of Edward.

"Better than I can do."

"If you want, I could teach you to make it sometime. It's really not that difficult. I don't have any special ninja cooking skills," I chuckle.

"I'd like that," he smiles. "Even though I was a stay-at-home dad for six months, Bree always cooked dinner when she got home. Or she'd pick up takeout if she didn't feel like cooking. She kept saying she was going to teach me to at least get something started in our slow cooker, but… well, we never got around to that."

Once we've finished eating, Edward has time to help me wrap up the leftovers and load the dishwasher before he needs to get back to his house to meet Mrs. Brandon.

"Do you have plans for the rest of night?" he asks as I walk him to the front door.

"Should I?" I laugh. If I had any plans, I probably wouldn't have been cooking dinner for him!

He shrugs. "Maybe… after Masen goes to bed, you can come over and we can talk?"

"Talk?" I repeat dumbly.

"About why I had to go back to Chicago."

"Oh!" My eyes widen. "I'd really like that, Edward. Text me once he's asleep."

"Deal," he nods.

* * *

Despite my best efforts not to, I wait on pins and needles for that text. When it comes, I take a deep breath, reminding myself not to appear too eager. I'm dying to hear whatever Edward is willing to tell me, but I understand that it might not yet be everything.

"Hey," he greets me, holding the door open. "Do you want a beer?"

"I'll pass, thanks."

"Well, I need one."

Smiling, I head into the living room, moving aside one of Masen's stuffed animals to have a seat on the couch. Edward follows me into the room not 30 seconds later, taking his seat on the far end of the couch. He takes a long sip from his bottle before setting it on the end table. He looks positively green.

"You don't have to do this," I remind him.

"I know," he whispers. "But it's time, I think. You've been a good friend to me, even when I've pushed you away. I never deliberately kept it from everyone in Forks, but it's just difficult to talk about. I've already told the story twice now in the last two weeks. It'll be easier the third time… I hope, anyway."

I look at him questioningly.

He picks up the stuffed bear, turning it over and over in his hands, but he doesn't speak. I wonder if he doesn't know how to begin. Maybe I should prompt him?

"Edward… earlier, you said you got what you wanted in Chicago. What was it you wanted?"

The seconds tick by as I wait for him speak. Just when I think he's not going to, he opens his mouth.

"I wanted… to see the man responsible for my wife's death convicted."

"Oh!" I exclaim, my eyes widening. Bree was murdered? Then why couldn't I find anything when I Googled her name? Or does he mean "responsible" in that perhaps she was killed in a car accident that someone else caused? Still, I should've found something.

"And… he was found guilty?" I whisper, hoping that that's what he's trying to say.

He nods. "Yeah, the jury's decision came back Wednesday. The sentencing will be in a few months, so I may have to go there again. Not really looking forward to that." I wait for him to continue instead of pushing him. "Chicago is… I can't relax. I can't sleep without having nightmares. Every fucking night. I know it would only be for a day or two for sentencing, but… I don't know if I can go through that again."

"That's why you were so tired," I realize. Poor Edward. No matter how Bree was killed, I can't even imagine the horrible memories he must have.

He nods. "After the first few days, I stayed awake until I nearly collapsed."

"And that's why you moved away from Chicago last summer."

"Yeah," he sighs, picking up his beer for a long drink. "I think it was right after the funeral that I knew I couldn't stay there anymore. I had the nightmares then too, but I was hoping that they'd get better with time."

Slowly, I reach out, taking his hand in mine and squeezing it. "Will you tell me what happened?" I ask gently.

He looks at me, nodding. "I will tell you; I just have to psych myself up for it."

"Take all the time you need, Edward."

"This part is hard," Edward whispers, pulling at his hair. "I need to start back a little further than that day so you understand."

"Start wherever you want."

* * *

 **A/N** : Does this count as a cliffhanger?

So we don't know yet exactly how Bree died, except that it was some sort of crime. And we know that Edward basically ran away from Chicago due to his nightmares.

The rest of the story is coming on **Monday**. It's not at all a well-known Duran Duran song, but the title is kind of morbid humor, from the prior decade. Teaser if you can guess it.


	13. Last Day on Earth

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response so far! I had two readers guess the chapter title from Duran Duran's low-selling _Pop Trash_ album from 2000 — **Scoobylover68** and **luvugreeneyedboy**. Extra kudos to **luvugreeneyedboy** , who was also the only one to guess (after Chapter 9) something else that'll be revealed in this chapter.

Big thanks to **Rita01tx** for rec'ing this fic on her latest Rob Attack blog!

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 13 – Last Day on Earth_

Once again, I sit on pins and needles, this time waiting for Edward to tell me how his wife was killed. After another long drink from his beer, he takes a deep breath, then stares straight ahead.

"Bree's employer held a Fourth of July picnic in a park on Saturday, over the long weekend," he begins. "Not long after we ate, she started feeling sick. We assumed that she'd eaten something bad, maybe one of the dishes had been left sitting out too long."

"That makes sense," I nod when he pauses.

"But then she got sick again the next day, and again on Monday at my parents' barbecue. On the way home, she asked me to stop at a pharmacy. I thought she was going to pick up something for her symptoms, but… she bought a pregnancy test," he finishes in a whisper.

"Oh my God!" And just like that, I understand. Edward didn't just lose his wife last July — he lost his unborn child as well. When he learned of Rosalie's and Angela's pregnancies, he wasn't upset by memories of when Bree was carrying Masen, but because of his second child that would never be born.

"I need another beer," he chokes out, standing and rushing off to the kitchen.

When he comes back, he takes a long pull from the bottle before setting it beside him and scrubbing his hands over his face. "Bree was never really sick with Masen," he continues. "I think that's why it wasn't our first thought. But this time it was every single damn day. And not just in the morning.

"Finally on Friday, I encouraged her to stay home from work, and to see if she could get an appointment with her doctor. To see if it was normal to be that sick.

"I had a meeting scheduled that morning with my publishers about my next book. I had planned to take Masen along with me, but Bree said to just leave him in his crib. She had the baby monitor in our room, so she could hear if he needed anything. I kissed them both goodbye and then drove downtown to the office.

"After the meeting, it was about 11:30 when I got off at our highway exit. I sent Bree a quick text while I was waiting for the light to see if she wanted me to pick up something for lunch, if she felt like she could eat, but she didn't reply.

"When I got home and opened the garage door, Bree's car was gone. I thought at first that maybe I'd misunderstood the time of her appointment, or maybe the office had called back and said they could get her in earlier. But it was odd that she wouldn't have called or texted me to tell me she was leaving. I picked up my phone to make sure I didn't have a message from her, but there was nothing.

"The garage opened into our mudroom. I walked from there into the kitchen, and I saw that the back door was open." He swallows thickly and I start to get this feeling of dread about where this story is going. "I could hear Masen crying, so I ran upstairs. His room was right at the top of the stairs and he seemed fine at first glance, just hungry maybe. But then I went down the hall to the master bedroom."

"Bree was… lying on our bed," he whispers. "And there was so much blood. For as long as I live, I will never get that image out of my head. Her eyes were open and staring up at the ceiling, and… I knew she was dead."

Tears are running down his cheeks by this point. Mine as well. I can only imagine his shock and pain upon seeing his wife like that. And Masen, oh God, what if someone had hurt him too?

Unable to help myself, I scoot closer to Edward, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. He turns, resting his forehead on my shoulder as he cries. I don't know if there's anything I can truly do for him, but I run my fingers through his hair in what I hope is a calming motion. "I'm so sorry," I whisper, over and over.

We stay like that for several minutes before he lifts his head, staring at me through red-rimmed eyes. "Sorry," he murmurs, brushing his tears away. "It wasn't any easier." After another long drink, he buries his face in his hands.

"What did you do then, Edward?" I ask softly, rubbing his back.

"I ran. I grabbed Masen and I ran outside. I think I was screaming. A neighbor who was walking her dog came up to me, and I remember she kept asking me over and over again what happened. I must've choked out enough that she pulled out her phone and called 9-1-1.

"Then she asked if there was anyone she could call for me. I couldn't think, I couldn't remember anyone's number, but I had my phone in my pocket, and so she found Mom in the Contacts and called her. She couldn't have been far; she got there only a few minutes after the police and ambulance.

"One of the cops kept asking me to tell them what happened, asking me where I'd been. It was like he thought my near hysteria was all an act and I'd been the one who killed her!" he cries. "I remember Mom was ready to rip him a new one for even the suggestion. I explained that I'd been in a meeting downtown, and he went looking through my car until he found the ticket from the parking garage that could prove that."

I breathe a sigh of relief, thankful that Edward didn't have to spend days — or even hours — as a suspect in his wife's death. "How did they get a lead on the real killer?"

"I don't know how long it had been… the cops were still there processing the scene. The bank called my phone because there'd been a large withdrawal at an ATM. Mom answered it and she gave the phone to one of the cops right away. They asked the bank manager to go through the security footage from the ATM."

"And that would show who made the withdrawal from your account?" I ask.

"Yeah," he nods. "It was the big story on the local news that night — the murder and a photo of the man from the security footage. The picture was grainy, but he was in a dark-colored car. Bree's car was a light silver."

"So… if Bree's car was missing from your garage, but the ATM withdrawal was made from a different car, then there were two people involved?" I piece together.

"Yeah, that was their theory. The next day, one of them — the guy in the ATM footage — turned himself in. He swore that he had no involvement in Bree's death, and that he hadn't even known that she was dead until he saw the TV news broadcast.

"His story was that he and his _cousin_ had broken into the house, assuming we'd both be at work. They planned to take electronics or jewelry, or whatever cash they could find. But then they went upstairs and found Bree. Her purse was on the table beside the bed, so they grabbed that and took out her wallet. They threatened her into giving them the PIN for the ATM card. And then he said that he left to go withdraw the money. They'd decided that the second guy would stick around in case she'd purposely given them the wrong PIN.

"After he got the money, he sent a text to his cousin to let him know that the PIN had worked. And _cousin_ said he'd leave in Bree's car, take it to a chop shop or whatever, and then they could meet up to split the money.

"It took a couple of days but the cops found his cousin. He denied everything, any involvement in the murder or even burglary. He gave an alibi, but the police were never able to confirm any of it."

"So it was one man's word against another," I muse.

"Not quite," he shakes his head. "They had the texts from the first guy's phone to his cousin. After a day or two, they found Bree's car and the second guy's fingerprints were in it."

"So he'd clearly lied about his involvement."

"Yeah, and that made it easier to believe the first guy's story. But they were afraid that it wasn't quite enough. The cops came around door to door to all of our neighbors, asking if anyone had heard or seen anything unusual that morning. One lady across the street said that she thought she'd heard a gunshot while she was outside working in her garden. At the time, she'd just dismissed it as a late firecracker, but now that she knew Bree had been shot that morning, she'd realized it may have been a gunshot.

"According to the neighbor's testimony, the noise was just before she went back inside the house. She'd turned on the TV when she came in, and it was the end of _The View_ , so just before 11. The ATM withdrawal was made at 10:49am, with the texts sent right after that. There was no way for the guy who withdrew the money to have gotten back to our house in that short amount of time, so he couldn't have done it.

"That was enough to get a grand jury indictment, but we were all a little worried that a jury would never convict. The evidence was really all circumstantial. We could place _cousin_ near the scene that morning, and we know he drove off in Bree's car, but we had no murder weapon, and no trace of her blood found on his things or in the car."

"But who else could've done it?"

"It doesn't matter," he shrugs, "not if a jury found reasonable doubt."

"Something you said earlier… telling your story — did you have to testify at the trial?"

"Yeah," he nods. "I was actually the first witness for the prosecution. They needed me to set the stage, but also to head off any attempts by the defense to claim that I had killed her. The cops kept that garage parking ticket proving I'd been downtown and what time I left the garage, which they entered as a trial exhibit."

"Were you allowed to watch the rest of the trial after your testimony?" I ask curiously.

"Yeah, I sat with my family in the back once I was done."

"They all came?" I ask, surprised.

"No… not all of them could get time off work every day. But at least one person was always there with me."

"And the trial took two and a half weeks?" That seems long to me, but I've always heard that murder trials can take longer than other crimes.

"No, it was under two weeks. I had to get there early to go over my testimony with the prosecutor, then there were a couple days of jury selection before the opening statements. Two days at the end to deliberate. The fact that it took so long to come to a decision meant that not everyone was on board with a conviction right away. We were all confident in the burglary and auto theft charges, but not the murder charge."

"Can… what's his name? The cousin?"

"I don't dignify him by using his name," Edward says angrily.

"Oh… sorry." I _had_ noticed that he never referred to the cousin by name. "Can he get the death penalty?"

"No, not in Illinois, not for several years now."

"Too bad," I mutter. I'm not usually pro-death penalty, but in this case? It seems so senseless. "Do you know why he shot her?" I ask apprehensively.

"He still denies doing it, so no. But the prosecutor proposed that he was either afraid that she'd be able to identify him, or… that he tried to assault her and she fought him off."

"Is there evidence of that?" I ask quietly.

"The exam showed no evidence of rape."

"I almost don't know what to say, Edward. God, I am so sorry you went through that. I'm sorry that your wife's life was cut way too short. And your unborn child — I can't even imagine! I know this was difficult for you, so… thank you for trusting me enough to confide in me."

"It's not that I wanted to keep it from everyone, I just… it hurts too much to think about. I have to concentrate on Masen and his future just to get out of bed every morning."

"I understand."

"No, you don't. No one can. I don't mean that in a bad way, just… unless you've lived this nightmare, you can't know what it's like. And just…knowing that it's all my fault…"

"What!?" I exclaim. "It's only the fault of the man who pulled the trigger! How could you even think that?"

"It's my fault she stayed home! Not just because I asked her to, but I'm the one who got her pregnant six months after we had Masen. I'm the one who left her alone while I went to a meeting. I'm the one who thought we lived in a safe neighborhood and didn't need a home security system."

I roll my eyes. "The stars aligned for this horrible thing to happen, but it was _not_ your fault, Edward. You were being a caring husband when you suggested she get some rest and go see a doctor."

"Mom has been trying to tell me that…"

I smile sadly. "And you should listen to her. It sounds like your family has been a big help to you."

"They were," he nods. "My mom and Bree's parents planned the funeral and everything related to that. I couldn't do it. Once the cops were done with the house, I still couldn't go back inside, so my family got everything we needed immediately out of it. Mom helped me put the place up for sale. She and my brothers helped pack everything up for the movers. I was pretty much useless in those first few weeks. Maybe I still am."

"You're _not_. You're an amazing father to Masen. And you've finished your next book, right?"

"Yeah, almost," he agrees. "I still feel like I'm living someone else's life sometimes. Like I don't know how to move forward."

"I think… you just keep taking each day as it comes, and every day will be just a little bit easier."

Edward turns to look at me, giving me a small smile. "And rely on my friends, right?"

"Absolutely! I'll be here for you — and Masen — whatever you need." I open my arms and he smiles, wrapping his arms around me in a hug.

"I'm gonna go up to bed, sleep while Masen sleeps," he says, pulling away.

"Are you sure you'll be OK?"

"Yeah." He licks his lips. "I'm no worse than I've been in the last six months."

"All right." I stand up from the couch. "Thanks again for confiding in me."

Edward follows me to the foyer and I instinctually lean up to kiss his cheek as I walk out the door.

* * *

 **A/N** : So, there's the story of Bree's death! It was inspired by a real life home invasion murder from November 2015 which made the national news because the victim was young, pretty, blonde, and a pastor's wife.

I took some creative liberties with the timing of the trial to only be six months later, as I think her killer is still awaiting trial after nearly two years. Google tells me it was scheduled for March 2017, but since there are no later stories, I assume it was postponed.

So where do Bella and Edward go from here? He's trusted her enough to tell his story, but now what?

Next update on **Thursday** , where we'll learn why Bella's Google search came up empty.


	14. Still Breathing

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response so far! The cat's out of the bag now, but there's still lots of story to go.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 14 – Still Breathing_

I don't sleep well that night after learning Edward's story. All I can think about is the image he described of his wife lying dead on their bed in a pool of blood, mixed with the terror she must've felt before she died.

I'm still incredibly curious as to why I couldn't find the story when I Googled her name a couple weeks ago. Sitting down at my computer, this time I type "Cullen Chicago murder" into the search bar, stunned when numerous articles come up.

I click on the first article from the _Chicago Tribune_ , which is about this week's verdict. In just the first paragraph, I learn why my earlier attempt failed — "Bree" was apparently a nickname for Brianna! _Of course_ , I think, slapping my forehead. Emmett had said something about naming their unborn child "Brian" after her.

Reading further, I learn that the man who'd gone to the ATM pleaded guilty to burglary and other related charges, agreeing to testify against his cousin in exchange for a lesser sentence.

Unable to stop at the one article, I find some of the original stories from last July, pouring over them for all of the small details that Edward left out — like the fact that the man who killed her was only 19 years old, or that Bree had been found with her pajama top pushed up to expose her breasts. It's no wonder sexual assault was suspected.

Several of the articles include one of a handful of photos of Bree that the family must've released to the media. I'm not surprised to see that she was beautiful — light brown hair and brown eyes. In one photo, it appears that she was experimenting with hair color, with blue, pink and purple streaks running throughout. I don't think I could ever pull off anything like that, but it looked great on her.

So many things make more sense to me now, more than just Edward's reaction to his sister-in-law's pregnancy. He's always seemed a little too cautious — at least for a small town like Forks — with home security, from locking the door while he's working in the yard, to asking me to shovel his walk to make his house looked lived-in while he was away.

Even going way back to the first time I mentioned Edward's name to my dad… Dad thought his name sounded familiar. Could he really have heard about a murder that happened nearly 2,000 miles away? The police did spend a few days looking for Bree's car. Perhaps there was an APB out on the car and _that's_ what Dad saw?

I almost want to slap some sense into Edward for blaming himself. He did nothing wrong in suggesting that his wife see a doctor for her extreme morning sickness. What if it had been a normal day, with Bree at work and Edward home? What then? Would Edward be dead? And poor Masen left alone for hours until Bree came home from work and discovered her husband's body?

I don't even want to think about that. Despite our ups and downs, I'm happy to have met Edward, happy to call him a friend. I think he needs all the friends he can get right now to help him heal.

Which reminds me… would he be upset if I told my girls? Picking up my phone, I send him a quick text to ask if it's OK. My phone dings with a new text less than a minute later.

 _It's fine. I'm not hiding it._

I breathe a sigh of relief at his response. I don't want to feel like I'm keeping something big from my best friends, but also I think knowing the full story will allow us all to be more sensitive with regards to certain issues. It can only help us to be more supportive of Edward and Masen.

* * *

Instead of our usual dinner at the Forks Diner the following Thursday, I message the girls about getting takeout from Pacific Pizza and eating at my house. I'm kind of afraid to tell Edward's story in a public place, afraid that others will overhear. He may no longer be hiding it, but I doubt he wants the Forks gossip machine to know.

When Angela arrives with dinner, I set the pizza box on the table, then separate the large Caesar salad into three bowls while she cuts the cheese garlic bread into pieces. Alice shows up just as I've got everything on the table.

"OK, spill," Alice begins, not wasting any time. "There's a reason you called us here instead of the diner."

"There is," I admit with a sigh. "I didn't want any big ears to overhear and start gossiping."

"Did you and Edward do the horizontal mambo again?" she asks, her eyes lighting up.

"No! Nothing like that. He told me about his trip to Chicago."

"Yeah?" Alice asks, swallowing quickly. "Was it something related to his late wife?"

"It was." I pause dramatically, just to make them nuts. "He went for her killer's trial."

"Bree was murdered?" Angela gasps.

"Yeah," I nod. "Home invasion gone wrong, I suppose you could say. The burglars hadn't anticipated anyone being home during the day."

"I thought you said that Edward stayed home with Masen and Bree worked?" she asks.

"He did, but that day, he had a meeting with his publishers and Bree wasn't feeling well… They'd just found out she was pregnant again."

"Oh!" she exclaims. "Oh God, no wonder he got upset at the bar. I had no idea!"

"I didn't either until he told me last Friday."

"What a piece of shit to murder a pregnant woman!" Alice cries. "Even if she wasn't obviously pregnant, I bet she told him while she was begging for her life. Please tell me the bastard is going away for a long time."

"The jury found him guilty of murder, but he hasn't been sentenced yet," I explain. "If you want to know more, you can Google the story. Her name was Brianna; that's why I couldn't find anything earlier. There are a ton of articles online from the Chicago newspapers and TV channels."

"So he killed her to keep from getting caught after she called the police?" Angela asks.

"Possibly. He denied everything, so there's no confession," I explain. "Just a lot of circumstantial evidence, including the testimony of his cousin, who'd broken into the house with him. Alice, I think that's why Jasper seemed so stressed. Edward said that the jury deliberated for two days before coming to a decision. They might not have been able to get him on the murder charge with the gun missing."

"Well, thank God they did!" she exclaims.

"I just want to give Edward a big hug," Angela says. "That poor man. I can't imagine what he's gone through."

"I don't think we _want_ to imagine it," Alice adds, shaking her head. "Can we say something the next time we see him?"

I nod. "He said I could tell you two, but I doubt he wants all of Forks knowing his business."

"You know, we wondered why Edward would move here from Chicago," Angela muses. "I guess now we know why."

"Yeah, far too many bad memories for him there," I reply sadly. "He had a rough time going back for the trial. I hope that her killer being found guilty is the start of Edward being able to heal and move forward."

"And maybe… start to see you as a potential mate?" Alice suggests.

"I think Edward is far from being ready to start a new relationship, or even take any step towards one. Can't a man and a woman just be friends?" I ask. There's no denying that I'd like more with Edward — one day — but I know I can't hold my breath. He may not _ever_ want more with me; from what I know of Bree, she and I had very little in common.

"Sure they can," Angela agrees. "Your history could make that a bit more difficult, but if you're both willing, I think it's possible."

And I plan to start by inviting him to dinner this weekend.

* * *

After Edward accepts my invitation for dinner — sweetened with the promise to make his favorite, lasagna — I suggest that if he comes over early, I can show him how to make it himself.

"Hi, Bella," he greets me in a whisper, a sleeping Masen over his shoulder. "I decided we could get more done if I came over during his afternoon nap."

"Great idea!" I smile, leading him into the living room. We get Masen set up on the couch before heading into the kitchen.

"Do you know how to brown meat?" I ask as I fill up a large saucepan with water.

"Maybe?" he shrugs. "I've watched Bree do it."

Laughing, I put the water on to boil, then find my favorite non-stick frying pan for Edward. I start working on the sauce, periodically checking on his progress with the ground beef.

Once everything is ready, I show him how to add the layers to a baking dish, then pop it in the oven and set the timer.

"Easy, right? You could do it on your own?"

"I think so," he nods. "It looked surprisingly easy."

"It is," I promise him. "Remember that I grew up mostly without a mom. I was cooking dinner for my dad and myself from a pretty young age; I could make lasagna as a kid."

Edward frowns. "I don't want that for Masen," he says quietly. "To have to grow up too soon, I mean."

"Well, your situation is different, since you work from home. My dad was a cop and he had set hours for his shift, though he tried to limit them as much as possible to the times when I was in school."

"I suppose… None of this is fair to him, having to grow up without a mom. It wasn't fair to you either," he adds quickly.

"We all have to make the best of our situation."

He frowns again, leaning his backside against the counter. "Masen deserves to have two parents, but…"

"But what?" I prompt.

"The thought of dating again…" He pauses, shaking his head. "I'm not ready for that. It would feel too disloyal to Bree."

"You still love her." It's so obvious in everything he does.

Edward nods. "You know I got into a panic Friday when I had one of the morning shows on and they were saying, 'hey guys, you have less than a week to pick out a Valentine's gift for your wife.' For just a moment, I thought to myself, oh shit, I haven't bought anything for Bree."

I smile sadly.

"I think that's only the second time in the last seven months that I've forgotten my life was turned upside down."

"When was the first?" I ask — almost immediately wanting to take it back, because of course I know. "N-never mind," I quickly add.

He smiles ruefully. "Yeah. My little moment of amnesia got me in less trouble this time."

I have no idea how to react to that. At least it's progress that he seems to almost be able to joke about that horribly misguided night.

"Daaaaa!" A cry comes from the living room, saving me from needing to respond.

"Masen's awake," Edward announces unnecessarily, cocking his head toward the other room. "Come on, let's go."

* * *

The following Thursday, I meet the girls at the diner for our usual weekly dinner. Angela is smiling like the cat that ate the canary for the entire meal, but always replies with "nothing's up" when we question her.

Finally, once our server has collected our plates, Angela pulls a small bag out of her purse, opening it to reveal three professionally decorated cake pops on sticks. Each one is covered in chocolate and decorated with swirls of white and red.

"Are those from the bakery?" I ask, nodding toward them. They look like something the bakery would've been selling for the holiday this week.

"Yep," she smiles widely, setting one on a napkin in front of each of the three of us.

"Is this some kind of late Valentine's Day gift?" Alice asks, looking as perplexed as I feel. "Some kind of consolation prize for your single friends?"

"No," Angela laughs. "Just eat them and you'll see."

Giving her the evil eye, I take a large bite of my cake pop. As I chew, my eyes and my brain start to tell me that something isn't quite fitting together. It's delicious, but it tastes like one of the bakery's white cakes — I know the recipe by heart — yet, now that I can see the cake itself, it's pink, like a strawberry or maybe cherry flavor would be. The color must have come from food coloring, but why bother?

And then it hits me. Angela is due in just over four months, so she must be over 20 weeks along now… far enough to have learned the sex of the baby.

"You're having a girl!" I squeal.

"Ding ding ding!" she shouts. "Oh, Ben is so gonna have to pay up."

"Why?" I ask, at the same time Alice yells, "Oh my God!"

"We had a bet going over which one of you would figure it out first," Angela explains. "I said it would be you, because you would realize that wasn't strawberry cake."

"And that's exactly how I figured it out," I chuckle.

"Duh!" Alice exclaims. "I was just enjoying my dessert."

"As I knew you would," Angela replies with a smile.

"When did you find out? How long have you been keeping this from us?" I ask accusingly, before taking another bite of my cake pop.

"My appointment was just last Friday. I ordered these on Saturday for pick-up after school today."

"Oh my God, she's gonna be so much fun to dress up," Alice squeals. "Are you happy?"

"Honestly, I would've been happy with either, as long as it's a healthy baby."

"That's what they all say," Alice laughs. "How about Ben?"

"He's… happy," she hedges, "but I know he really wants a boy to carry on the Cheney name. He says we have to keep trying until we get one. _Please_ let our second child be a boy."

"My mom refused to try again after having two girls," Alice says. "She said there was no way she was going through another pregnancy. After what she went through with Cynthia, I was lucky to be born."

"Well, I haven't been as miserable as what you've described about your mom, but there are still four months to go, so anything could happen. Knock on wood," she quickly adds, tapping the table.

* * *

 **A/N** : This was one of the tougher chapters to name. I never could think of anything better than _Still Breathing_.

So Bella's friends know how Bree died, but she asked permission from him before gossiping. Alice is getting a bit ahead of herself, but Bella is realistic about how long it may take Edward to be ready to date again. And Angela is having a girl!

Next update on **Monday**.


	15. My Antarctica

**Author Note:** Welcome to all new readers! This story has more alerts now than _Oh Brother_ , which was my first break-out story.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 15 – My Antarctica_

On a Friday morning in late February, I'm awakened by an early text message announcing that Forks schools will be closed today due to inclement weather. I race to the window, staring outside at _snow_! OK, so it's not like it's a _lot_ of snow, but it's a lot for Forks.

I spend the morning doing a few things around the house, taking advantage of the extra day off. By the time I've finished lunch, the snow seems to have stopped, so I decide to go out and brush off my truck, just to get it over with.

After putting on my heaviest coat, a hat and gloves, I step outside on the porch, surprised to see Edward and Masen out in their front yard. Edward is dressed in a wool coat that just about covers his backside, while Masen is in a full body snowsuit like Randy in _A Christmas Story_.

"Hi boys!" I call, waving as I carefully make my way down the steps. "What are you two doing?"

"We're building a snowman," Edward answers. "Do you want to help?"

"Sure," I smile. Masen is so cute, rolling a small ball of snow across the yard, just like his daddy. Or at least trying to, since he falls over every so often.

I begin rolling my own ball of snow in my front yard. After Edward declares that his is probably large enough for the base, he helps carry my ball over to be the middle piece. Masen's isn't large enough yet for the head, so Edward helps him out until he pronounces it perfect.

"Do you have anything for his face?" Edward asks. "I'll find some sticks for the arms."

"Let me check!"

I know I have a package of carrots in my fridge, so I take one of those first. The best I can find for the eyes, mouth and buttons are a handful of Oreos. I grab an old scarf from the top of my closet as the final accessory, then head back outside.

Edward laughs when I hand him the Oreos, scraping out little holes in the snow so they won't fall out. After tying the scarf around his neck, our snowman is complete.

"Wow, that looks great!" I exclaim. I can't remember the last time I made a snowman. I need to remember to grab my phone later and take a picture of our handiwork.

"Snow!" Masen yells.

"That's right, buddy! It's a snowman."

"Do you like snow, Masen?" I ask, smiling. He's so cute with his cheeks pink from the cold.

"He seems to love it. He was standing in front of the window watching it fall all morning."

Hearing that, an idea suddenly pops into my head. "Would you two like to go sledding?"

"Sledding?"

"Yeah, there's this one hill just north of town where we'd always go on snowy days," I explain.

"I don't have a sled," Edward chuckles.

"I do," I smile proudly. "Or rather, it's still in my dad's shed."

"What are we waiting for then?"

While Edward gets Masen situated in his car seat, I run back inside for my keys, first so I can lock up the house and then so I can unlock Dad's storage shed.

After climbing into the passenger seat, I give Edward directions to my dad's house. His cruiser isn't parked out front, so he's probably at the station. I open the shed, poking around until I find my old sled leaning up against the wall. Edward opens the back of the SUV so I can set it in the trunk before hopping back in.

"Just follow the 101 north out of town and I'll tell you where to turn."

"Got it, boss," he smiles.

In just a few minutes, we're pulling off into a small area where cars can park. Several other families are here, so I wasn't the only one to have the idea to go sledding. While Edward gets Masen out of his car seat, I pull the sled from the trunk, then line it up on the top of the hill.

"That's a pretty big hill," Edward notes, looking like a worried father as he holds his son close.

"It's long, but it's not that steep, I promise. Watch, I'll go down first."

I sit on the sled, hold on to the strap, then look up at Edward for a push to send me on my way.

"Wheee!" I feel like a kid again as I fly down the hill, laughing the entire trip. Of course, reaching the bottom means going back up, but over the years a series of makeshift stone steps were laid to make that easier.

"Your turn!" I set the sled down next to where Edward is standing. "I saw another small child down there buttoned into his mom's coat. Maybe you could do that with Masen," I suggest.

"Good idea," he agrees, reaching for his buttons. He sits on the sled, arranging Masen in front of his body, then manages to button the bottom two — enough to hold him in.

"Ready, Mase? One… two… threeeee…"

And he's off down the hill! I jump and clap, watching them slide to the bottom.

"How'd he do?" I ask breathlessly once they've made their way back to the top of the hill. Masen is still inside Edward's coat, anchored by his hand underneath.

"Great," Edward smiles widely. "He was laughing most of the way, not scared at all. Looks like I'm gonna have a daredevil on my hands."

We spend the next hour or so taking turns going down the hill — sometimes Masen rides with me — until we're cold and exhausted from all of the trips back up.

"That was a lot of fun, thanks, Bella," Edward smiles as we get back in his SUV for the drive home. "My legs might feel it tomorrow though."

"I'm so glad you have fun! It's probably the only time all winter we'll have enough snow to go sledding."

Back home, I leave the sled on my front porch and invite Edward and Masen inside for some hot chocolate. I boil the water the old-fashioned way on the stove while they pop in at home to get Masen's diaper changed. When they cone back, I point them toward the kitchen table to have a seat.

"Here you go, boys!" I announce, setting one mug in front of Edward. "I figured Masen could drink from your mug." I take my seat at the table next to him, blowing on the steaming hot drink before taking a sip.

"Mmmm… this is good, Bella. And lots of marshmallows!"

"It's just a package mix," I admit. "Hey, would you like to stay for dinner? I'd picked up all of the ingredients to make chili when I was at the Thriftway yesterday. I was planning on making it Sunday, but we could do it now."

"That sounds great, a hot bowl of chili on a cold day… Tired, Mase?" he chuckles as the toddler leans back against his dad's chest, closing his eyes.

"I think all the fun wore him out."

"Good, maybe he can take a nap and stay out of our hair while we make dinner," he says, ruffling his son's blond hair.

Once we've finished our hot chocolate, Edward lays his sleeping son on the couch, and I pull my crocheted afghan off the back to cover him.

Back in the kitchen, I hand Edward an onion, a knife and the cutting board, while I start opening the cans of tomato sauce. Since he's now an expert on browning meat — thanks to my lesson when we made lasagna two weeks ago — I let him cook up the pork sausage and the ground beef while I get the rest of the chili together.

"And now for the secret ingredient… dark chocolate!" I pull out two squares of chocolate, breaking them into smaller pieces and adding them to the pot.

"What on earth does that do?" Edward laughs.

"Supposedly it cuts down on some of the heat from the chili powder without sacrificing the flavor," I explain as I stir. "Now we just need to let it simmer for a while, so that all of the flavors meld together. Do you think you could make this on your own?"

"I think so," he agrees. "I'd just need the recipe to know the correct amounts for all the different seasonings you put in there."

"Do you want to go home and grab Masen's high chair? And his dinner?" I add. "Or should we let him try some chili?"

"He can try a bit, but it'll probably be too spicy for him."

"It's not that spicy," I assure him. I'm not a huge fan of spicy food myself.

"You put half a bottle of chili powder in there!"

"That's what the chocolate is for, silly," I tease him, bumping his hip with mine. He smiles at me, and I can't help smiling back. I could really get used to this friendship thing.

* * *

One week later, I head out to happy hour at the local Mexican place — they actually have pretty good margaritas — with several of my colleagues to celebrate third grade teacher Jessica Stanley's birthday. With not a whole lot to do in Forks, several of the teachers do this nearly _every_ Friday night, but there's only so much togetherness I can tolerate with some of my coworkers.

Even Angela comes along with us, though of course she can't drink. She still likes chips and salsa though. News travels fast in Forks, so everyone already knew that she's pregnant. However, since each grade in Forks Elementary has its own lunch period, not everyone had seen her since she started showing. To her great embarrassment, she almost gets more attention than the birthday girl.

The few of us without significant others decide to hang around and have dinner once the happy hour drink prices are gone. I may also be a tad bit too tipsy to drive.

"So what's the deal with your hot neighbor?" Jessica asks as we're finishing up our meals. Everyone at the table turns to stare at me, and I can feel my face heating up from the attention.

"What do you mean?"

"You know my sister works at the Thriftway? She says he's, like, a huge hit when he and that adorable toddler shop there."

"A hit how?" I giggle. Maybe it's the alcohol, but I'm having more trouble following her than usual.

"I mean, he gets the attention of every red-blooded female in the store. She says women are always hitting on him, but he doesn't seem at all interested in _any_ of them. I've heard he's single, so what's his deal? Forks women aren't good enough for him? He's got a kid, so I doubt he's gay."

My eyes widen. Other women regularly hit on Edward? He hasn't said a thing about that. I mean, since we're friends and all, I would think he might bring it up, if it's something that bothers him. Or maybe he doesn't even notice?

Jessica doesn't seem to know that Edward is a widower — or at least I would think she'd be more sensitive if she did. She's the biggest gossip in Forks though, so I can't tell her too much.

"He just lost his wife last summer, Jess."

"Lost his wife? What do you mean?"

"I mean she passed away."

"Oh!" she exclaims. "I assumed he was divorced."

"I think we all did," I admit. "But no. Edward isn't at all ready for a new relationship with anyone."

"Pffttt… half the women who hit on him aren't interested in a 'relationship' either," she relates, complete with air quotes. "You'd think he'd get tired of his own hand, you know? Or maybe he's got a regular fuck buddy. If he doesn't, I'll volunteer for the job!"

"Jess!"

"Are you holding out on me, Swan?" she sounds exactly like a teacher trying to get one of her students to 'fess up.

"No!" I roll my eyes. "Edward is a friend, but that's it. He's not over his late wife. He isn't interested in even a physical relationship."

"And just how do you know that?" she narrows her eyes.

And… I'm saved by the beep of an incoming text message, quickly followed by another.

 _Where are you? – E_

 _Sorry I don't mean to act like I own you._

Before I can type out a reply, he texts again.

 _If you're busy I understand but could you come by on your way home?_

Maybe I'm reading too much into things, but Edward sounds almost desperate to see me. I hope nothing's wrong, but I don't want to get into it via text message.

 **I'm just finishing up dinner with some colleagues. I'll stop by.**

"Jess, sorry, but I need to get going." I reach into my purse for my wallet, pulling out enough to cover my portion of the bill.

"And you're skipping dessert? Got a hot date?" she asks with an evil grin.

"Hardly." I'm not going to give her any gossip fodder if I can help it.

"You know I could read the EC on top of your screen. I know you were your texting your hot neighbor that you claim isn't interested in a relationship."

"We're _friends_ , Jess. He needs to talk to me about something," I reply vaguely, since I actually have no idea what he wants.

"Mmm-hmm. And you're rushing off to see him."

Standing up, I toss my napkin at her, sticking out my tongue.

* * *

 **A/N** : Bella's snow day was real. I downloaded the Forks school calendar and it was marked on there, so I decided to write it into the story. Coincidental timing as I just made chili this weekend for a chili cook-off at work on Tuesday. Wish me luck!

So Bella has learned that other women in Forks are also interested in Edward! But what do you think he wants? Teaser if you can guess! There is a very subtle hint in the chapter.

Next update on **Thursday**.


	16. Proposition

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! It's about to pass _Inside Out_ in reviews.

No one could guess _exactly_ why Edward was looking for Bella. Four got close enough to get the teaser: **Icequeen13082006** , **Bevey99** , **Just Sus** and **Azlady2003**.

Yes, I did win the Halloween Chili Cook-off! Thanks to a meeting over lunch, I didn't even get a chance to taste my competition. I posted a photo of my trophy in the Pay It Forward FB group.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 16 – Proposition_

I may still be slightly tipsy when I pull into my driveway five minutes later, but I think all of that yummy Mexican food absorbed enough of the alcohol to keep me legal.

I head straight for Edward's house, and he's got the door open before I get a chance to knock. He must've heard my truck; it's not like you could miss it.

"Hey," he breathes. "That was faster than I expected."

"We were finishing up, like I said," I reply as I follow him into the house. "Is Masen in bed already?" I don't think it's quite eight.

"Yeah, I put him down after I texted you. Sorry if I seemed bossy… I could see your house was dark."

"One of the other teachers had a birthday, so we went out after work," I explain, taking off my coat.

"Can I get you anything to drink?" he asks, grabbing a bottle of beer from the fridge.

"Oh, no, I'm good," I chuckle. "Three margaritas since four o'clock."

"I have water."

I smile, nodding. "That'd be great." Taking the ice cold bottle from his hand, I follow Edward into the living room.

"So what's up?" I ask, making myself comfortable on his couch. "Your message sounded kind of urgent."

Edward looks over at me with sad eyes. "I just needed a friend tonight. It's been a rough day. I was used to you being home long before now," he adds. "I'm sorry if I worried you."

"Never mind about that." I wave my hand. "Is there any particular reason you've had a bad day?"

"It's stupid." He scrubs his hands over his face.

"I'm sure it's not."

He sighs. "After we found out Bree was pregnant again, she did one of those online due date calculator things."

With a little bit of quick math in my head, I think I understand why he's upset. "And it was today?" I ask carefully.

"Yeah," he nods. "You know, it's not that I'd been dreading this day or anything like that. I honestly hadn't even thought about it until I turned on my phone this morning and saw the date staring back at me — Friday, March 3. It hit me a lot harder than I'd thought it would."

I take a chance and scoot closer, throwing my arm around him. "It's not stupid to be upset. Your child never had a chance to be born."

"But that happens a lot, right?" he asks, turning to look at me. "I know that women have miscarriages. It's not _that_ unusual to lose a child. Maybe not in the same way, but the end result is the same."

"That doesn't mean it's not sad," I reply gently. "Had you told your parents about the baby before Bree's death? I know it must've been very early in the pregnancy."

"We did, yeah," he nods. "The day after she took the test. Only because she got sick at their barbecue and they were worried about her."

"The pregnancy was… a surprise?" I ask hesitantly. I suspect it wasn't planned, given what he told me last month about pregnancy not being their first thought when Bree started feeling ill.

"Yeah. We weren't trying. Not that we didn't want more kids one day, because we did. Bree was an only child and definitely wanted Masen to have siblings. But we'd decided that a two or three-year age difference would be best — like my brothers and I had. It was all happening sooner than we'd planned, but we were happy about it."

"Were you… not trying? Sorry if that's too personal," I add quickly.

"Bree had gone back on birth control, yeah. But… her parents' 40th anniversary was in June, and we'd gone with them to this resort up on a lake in Wisconsin, not far from where they live. She was due to start a new packet of pills on the trip and forgot to pack them. I didn't know anything about it at the time, but she just took the missing ones when we got back. She said she'd doubled up before after forgetting a pill, so she thought this one time when she missed two that we'd still be safe."

"It only takes once," I chuckle, remembering the times back in college when I also "doubled up" after forgetting a pill. Thank God I always insisted on a condom for back-up.

"She told me about it after the positive test. I remember she was so anxious, like she was afraid I'd be upset with her. I wasn't though. I was gonna have another baby with the love of my life. What was there to be upset about?"

"Nothing at all," I agree. I don't want to admit that I felt a bit of a pinch in my chest when he called Bree the love of his life.

"I wonder if it would've been a boy or a girl," he muses.

"Well, Emmett says boys run in the Cullen genes."

"Maybe," he snickers. "Dad also has two brothers. Masen looks so much like me… maybe this baby would've resembled Bree. She really was beautiful."

"I saw," I murmur before I can stop myself.

Edward whips his head around to look at me. "You've seen her?"

"Oh, um, I searched online for the articles about… what happened to her, and one had a couple photos of her. I-I hope that's OK."

He shrugs. "I'm not mad that you looked."

"Good," I breathe a sigh of relief. "So do you just want to hang out, or maybe we could watch a movie or something?" I hope that's not a bad idea. What if all of his DVDs remind him of Bree?

"We could watch a movie, yeah," he smiles.

"Do you have popcorn?" As if I need more to eat, but movies require popcorn.

"There should be some microwave popcorn in the pantry," he nods.

"Awesome! I'll go make that while you choose a movie."

Five minutes later, I'm settled on the couch next to Edward, a bowl of freshly popped popcorn between us, and _Iron Man_ in the DVD player — Bree apparently hated superhero movies, so he'd never watched it with her.

By the end of the movie, the empty bowl is on the floor and I'm cuddled up against Edward's side, his arm around me. It almost feels like we're a couple on a date, though I know we're not. We're friends. Just friends.

I sit up, stretching, as the credits roll. Edward looks a bit zoned out, then snaps back, yawning.

"You look like you need some sleep," I giggle.

"Masen was up pretty early this morning."

"See you Sunday for our next cooking lesson then?" I ask, standing.

"You bet," he smiles.

* * *

For our next lesson, I decide to move from ground beef or turkey dishes to a chicken dish. While Masen entertains himself on the floor with his laptop, I show Edward how to determine that the chicken breasts are cooked properly, then we chop them to use as a filling for chicken and spinach stuffed shells. My medium-size Pampered Chef scooper is perfect for stuffing the large shells.

"Alright, 40 minutes to bake," I announce, setting the oven timer.

"Come on, Mase, let's go in the other room!"

Of course, his son acts like he doesn't hear us, so Edward picks him up, throwing him over his shoulder as the little boy giggles. Edward has brought an assortment of toys over, so we both get down on the floor to play with Masen.

"Oh, Bella," Edward begins suddenly, "I meant to ask you something but it totally slipped my mind Friday night. Do you get a Spring Break?"

"Yeah, sure," I nod. "It's the first week of April. Why?"

 _First week of April_ , he mouths as he seems to think it over. "It's a bit late, but that could work. My book comes out in two weeks, and my publisher wants me to do a book signing tour."

"Oh cool," I smile. "Do you need me to watch Masen while you're off on tour?" I laugh. "It sounds like I'm friends with a rock star or something."

"Well, I've been hesitating to agree because I don't want to leave Masen for three or four days. I'd like him to come with me, but… I don't really know anyone from the Seattle office of my publishers. I met a few people once, not long after I moved here, but since then I've just had meetings via Facetime. I don't really feel comfortable with anyone from there watching him during the signings, but… maybe you could come with me?"

"Go with you to Seattle?" I'm shocked that he'd ask, but… kind of flattered?

"Yeah," he nods. "Plus Tacoma and Olympia. They've also mentioned Portland. What they're discussing would mean three nights away from Masen if I left him here with you or Carolyn."

"Three nights, huh?" I mentally calculate how much that would cost me for the hotel rooms. I'm assuming Edward's publishers will put him up in fairly nice hotels.

"What's wrong?"

I shrug. "I'm not sure I have a spare $500 lying around for the hotels."

Edward's brow furrows. "I can't ask you to spend your own hard-earned money to help me out. They'd be paying for my hotels. I can request rooms with two queen beds; it's no big deal. I'll also need a crib for Masen."

"So I would stay with you?" I ask hesitantly. I certainly don't mind, though I'm a little bit surprised that Edward would be OK with that. I mean, I know he seems to have moved past being upset with me, but sharing a room — even with separate beds — seems like more than he'd be comfortable with.

"I'm fine with it if you are."

"I am," I nod quickly. "And that does make it easier to say yes. Teachers don't make a lot of money, which is why I still work at the bakery during the summer and drive my ancient truck. I really have to budget for what I spend on travel or things like that."

"I understand," he smiles. "Bree made really good money as a pharmacist. An author with one mildly successful book, not so much. Of course, the cost of living is a lot lower here than in Chicago."

"Well, maybe this book will turn you into the next John Grisham or Dan Brown."

"Maybe," he laughs. "So you'll come with me?"

"Yes, I'd be happy to come along and watch Masen for you while you sign your name until your hand cramps," I joke.

* * *

"Get this," I begin as I have dinner with the girls on Thursday evening, "Edward wants me to come along on the book tour that his publishers are planning so I can watch Masen. _And_ he says we can share a hotel room — with two beds, of course," I quickly add before Alice can get any ideas.

"Are you gonna go?" Angela asks, her eyes wide. "What about school? Or would it be over a weekend?"

"He's trying to have the tour scheduled during our Spring Break since they're looking at three nights."

"Three nights in a hotel room alone with Edward," Alice grins.

"And Masen," I remind her.

"You need to pack your sexiest lingerie," she suggests. "I mean, he may be grieving, but he's still a man. If he sees you in something lacy and sexy, he'll look."

"I don't have any sexy lingerie," I point out. I mean, why would I when I haven't dated anyone seriously in years?

"We can go shopping in Port Angeles so you can buy some!" she says excitedly. "Oh, but not this weekend, since I'll be in Chicago visiting Jasper. I've already made a trip to Victoria's Secret."

"I live on a teacher's salary, in case you've forgotten! And anyway, don't you think that would be way too obvious?"

"I agree with Bella," Angela says. "Showing up in sexy lingerie is way too forward for where your relationship stands right now. You don't want to be too obvious."

"Fine," Alice sighs. "But don't you dare pack sweats and a baggy t-shirt."

"Something cute," Angela agrees. "Not baggy, but not skin tight or see-through either."

"Aaaargh, you guys!" I whine. I hadn't even considered what I'd pack for this trip since it's not 100% confirmed yet, and they've already got me paranoid! Apparently I need to walk the very fine line between frumpy and trying too hard to impress.

"So how long will you be in Chicago, Alice?" Angela asks, blessedly changing the subject.

"Four nights," she replies. "That was the longest stretch where both he and I were able to get time off work."

"I thought you were planning to make it more of a Spring Break trip?" I ask.

"Well, it's not like either of us gets a weeklong break like you two," she laughs. "Anyway, Jasper thinks he'll probably be coming to Forks in mid-April for Easter, so we wanted to do this sooner rather than later. His mom is still on the kick where she doesn't want Edward to spend family-oriented holidays alone."

"The whole family again?" Angela asks.

"Probably not Emmett and Rosalie. She'll be over six months along by that point, and though she'll still be allowed to fly, Jasper said she doesn't really want to travel that late. I'll see them next week though. I'll say hi for you guys."

"So how serious is this getting with Jasper?" I ask.

"Well, even though we've met in person before, it feels almost like an online relationship," she explains. "We talk on the phone weekly and text back and forth all the time, but I'm definitely nervous about spending so much time alone with him. What if that spark we felt in December is gone? What if we find out that we really have nothing in common?"

"I don't know how you could have nothing in common. If nothing else, you're both in the medical field," I point out. "And you both have fathers who are doctors."

"That's… true, I guess. But I'm small town and he's a big city guy. I don't know, I'm just nervous, I think. I've had more than my share of relationships that fizzled out after a week or two. I really want this one to work out. This trip feels like a big test for us — a make-or-break."

"Like Bella's," Angela says with a gleam in her eye.

I roll my eyes. "I'm just helping out a friend for a few days. I'm basically like a hired nanny."

"Who shares a bedroom with her sexy boss," Alice laughs.

* * *

 **A/N** : Sorry for any fake-out with the chapter title. It goes with the second half of the chapter, though I realize it could've made you expect that he wanted a little more than he did on Friday night! Edward was having a bit of a rough time dealing with the loss of his child on that symbolic day, and just needed a friend.

Once again, Bella is the more realistic one with what to expect on the book signing tour with Edward (i.e. nothing), while her friends are making her all paranoid.

Next update on **Monday**. One of my more literal chapter titles. I have no idea what album the song even comes from.


	17. Downtown

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far!

Pretty much everyone is in agreement that Bella should just be herself and ignore Alice. And some still wish Bella would say NO to Edward once in a while.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

 _Chapter 17 – Downtown_

* * *

It's an hour before Edward and I are to leave for Seattle, and I'm convinced that I've forgotten to pack something important — like deodorant or my toothbrush or something. I dig through my toiletries bag one more time and everything seems to be there. I need to relax.

In the end, I did end up buying new pajamas for the trip, with shorts and a sleeveless top. They're soft and comfortable and not too revealing, yet better than wearing a potato sack.

By the time Edward knocks on the door, I've got my suitcase sitting in the foyer, ready to go.

"Hey," I greet him as I swing the door open. "Let me just grab a jacket."

"This is your only bag?" he asks, pulling up the handle.

"Yeah." I shrug my arms into my coat.

"I'm impressed," he laughs. "Bree would've packed a bag at least twice that size for a three-night trip."

"I didn't pack any nice clothes for going out," I explain as I lock up the door. "Should I have?" I ask, suddenly worried that I should've packed a couple of outfits per day.

"We'll have Masen with us, so I doubt we'll go to any fancy restaurants," he shrugs. "I'm sure you're fine. Besides, it's not like there aren't any stores in Seattle if you need something."

I get settled in the passenger seat while Edward places my suitcase in the back of his SUV alongside his stuff. Once I've buckled my seatbelt, I turn around to wave at Masen, who's already settled in his car seat.

"I've brought his stroller," Edward explains once he gets in, "so he'll be easier for you to watch. If I don't put him in the shopping cart seat at the Thriftway, he wanders off whenever he sees something he likes."

As we make the long drive to Seattle, Edward asks me about my time there back in college. It's been less than three years since I graduated, but it seems so much longer sometimes. While I wish that Seattle was a bit closer, allowing for more frequent visits, I'm definitely glad that I came back to Forks after graduation.

It's around 6pm when we pull up to our downtown hotel. I try to stay in the background — keeping the full-of-energy Masen from running off — while Edward checks in, but I can't help overhearing that our room is $240 per night for the two nights we're staying here. I am _really_ glad that Edward is OK with sharing a room with me.

After dropping our bags off in our room and taking care of Masen's diaper, the three of us head back downstairs to ask the concierge for dinner recommendations nearby where we can bring a toddler. We settle on a wood-fired pizza place only two blocks away.

It's a Monday evening, so there are quite a number of people who likely work downtown out on the street as we make our way to the restaurant. Edward is carrying Masen, and I notice several women stare as they pass us by. He really is quite the sight, holding his adorable son. Now that I know Edward better, I think of him more as just "Edward" rather than the hot guy next door, but I still have eyes, and I still think he's a gorgeous male specimen. He may not be mine, but I feel a bit of pride walking beside him.

I think we're both a little bit shocked to see that the pizza restaurant has communal seating in the main dining room. The place is packed but the hostess manages to find us three seats at one long table, pulling out one of the chairs to replace it with a high chair for Masen next to Edward.

The concierge back at the hotel raved about the desserts here, so we decide to split one large pizza and then try a dessert or two later.

"Your son is so cute," the woman next to me says, leaning in, after our server has taken our orders. "How old is he? What's his name?"

I'm like a deer in headlights for a moment, realizing she probably thinks I am Masen's mother. How do I respond to that? _Do_ I respond?

"He's about 15-and-a-half months," Edward answers. "His name is Masen."

"Hi cutie," she smiles, waving at the little boy. "Are you guys from Seattle?"

"No, we're just visiting for two nights," I reply, "though I went to college here."

"I'm an author and I've just released my second book," Edward explains. "I'll be doing a book signing tomorrow at the Barnes & Noble in Pacific Place from 10 to 12:30."

"How cool!" she gushes. "I work just down the street; I'll try to take my lunch break tomorrow early enough to stop by."

Our server drops off a plate of dessert for the woman and her male companion, and I can't help but drool. "Is that cannoli?"

"Yes," she smiles. "I love all of their desserts, but the cannoli is my favorite. Just like my Italian grandmother used to make."

Thanks to the 600-degree wood-fired oven, our server soon returns with the sausage pizza that Edward and I are sharing. When Masen reaches for the hot pan, his dad gently moves his hand away and serves one piece onto a plate, then begins cutting it into small enough pieces for Masen to eat with his hands.

"I tried to get him fries from Pacific Pizza once, but he would only eat some of my pizza," Edward laughs.

The pizza is delicious and in no time, we've devoured most of it. We wave to the woman we'd been chatting with when she gets up to leave. She promises to try and stop by the book signing tomorrow.

After finishing our desserts, we make our way back to the hotel, letting Masen walk between us, holding each of our hands so that he doesn't escape and run out into traffic. I think again about how much it must appear to others that he's _our_ child, but Edward doesn't seem to mind. Or maybe even notice.

Back at the hotel, I relax on one of the beds while Edward gives Masen his bath. After he's put his son to bed in the crib, he flops onto his own bed with a long sigh.

"Tired?" I chuckle.

"Yeah… driving for so long always makes me exhausted."

"What time do you need to be there tomorrow?"

"Probably about 9:30. There's no free breakfast at the hotel, but I was told that there's a Barnes & Noble Café where you can get pastries or sandwiches. We could probably have lunch there too after the morning signing, then we'll need to head to Bellevue for the second one."

"Sounds good," I nod. I didn't expect a nice hotel like this to offer a free breakfast. "Do you want to find a movie to watch or just go to bed early?"

"How about a movie?" he suggests, and so I get up to grab the remote control and the channel guide. I start to sit back on my own bed when Edward motions me over as he sits up.

"You can watch from over here with me. It's a better angle for the TV," he explains.

I try not to look too happy about the invitation as I plump up two of the pillows, making myself comfortable. While it's true that the TV is angled more for the one bed, I can't help wishing that he just wants a little bit of human companionship.

Strangely, it's not uncomfortable lying there next to Edward, both of us fully clothed. After the movie, he sits up, stretching, then stands. "I'm gonna get ready for bed. Big day tomorrow!" he smiles.

While Edward is in the bathroom, I sort through my suitcase for my new pajamas and my toiletries bag, setting those on top of my bed. I peek in the crib at Masen, who's sleeping soundly. I'm looking forward to spending the day with him tomorrow. I'm hoping he'll let me do at least a little bit of shopping in the morning. I've found a large park on Google maps that's just a couple of blocks from Edward's afternoon signing where we can hopefully hang out for a few hours.

When Edward comes out of the bathroom, I have to try really hard not to stare. He's wearing a pair of lounge pants with — I think — the Chicago Bears logo. And nothing else. It's been many months since I've seen the man shirtless, and my memories did not do him justice.

"Should I set the alarm on my phone for eight?" he asks. "Is that enough time for you to get ready?"

I nod as I pick up my things, trying to keep my eyes averted from his bare skin.

Once I'm ready for bed, I smooth out my pajamas, turning from side to side in front of the mirror to make sure I look all right and there's no side boob showing under the arms or anything like that. Satisfied, I take a deep breath, then open the bathroom door.

I look over toward Edward's bed to see him turned on his side, facing away from me. He seems to be fast asleep already.

So much for it mattering what I wear to bed.

* * *

When the alarm goes off, Edward allows me to shower first since I'll have to deal with drying my hair. I quickly choose today's outfit before heading into the bathroom.

When I open the door again, I'm almost run over by little Masen, who seems to have completely recharged his batteries overnight.

"Sorry!" Edward exclaims when I'm nearly tripped up. I look up at him, momentarily forgetting why I'd been trying not to do that, and just… gah! His shirtless torso combined with his five o'clock shadow are enough to make a girl weak in the knees.

"Are you all right?" he asks, looking at me strangely.

"Uh, yeah, yeah. Um, the bathroom is all yours. I found the hair dryer in one of the dresser drawers last night."

While I dry my hair, Masen climbs up onto Edward's bed and begins jumping up and down. I smile and laugh, wondering if I should just let him do it or stop him before he falls off and bangs his head. I settle for making sure he's far away from the nightstand.

Once Edward has showered and dressed — and shaved — he puts together a diaper bag of everything Masen will need for the day, including a change of clothes, just in case. We get Masen settled in his stroller then head for the elevator.

Having spent a lot of time in downtown Seattle, I know the way to Pacific Place, so Edward just follows my lead as he pushes the stroller. Finding the café, we get ourselves coffee and pastries for breakfast, plus milk for Masen.

When we walk into the bookstore after we've eaten, I can see that everything is already set up for the signing, with ropes framing an area for people to line up. I see a whole table full of Edward's books on sale, for those who don't already own a copy. I'd buy one of my own, but he gave me an advance copy just before the release.

"There you are!" a petite blonde woman calls, rushing up to Edward. "I was getting worried," she says, touching his arm lightly.

"We still have 10 minutes, right?" he asks.

"Yes, you're fine. I'm just used to being more in control with our authors — picking them up at their hotels and bringing them to the venues. Are you sure you don't want to ride with me later?"

"I'm sure," he says firmly. "Masen's car seat is already in my car, so it makes the most sense."

"Your son is here?" she asks in confusion, looking around. When her eyes fall on me, I wave, giving her a small smile.

"Jane, this is Bella. She'll be watching Masen while I'm working. Bella, this is Jane Volturi, who works for my publishers."

"It's nice to meet you," I nod politely, but Jane gives me a rather scathing look. I think perhaps she was looking forward to spending a few days _alone_ with Edward.

"We should get you ready, Edward," Jane directs. "Oh, and stop by the bathroom first. You don't want to keep your fans waiting if you drank too much coffee this morning."

I chuckle at Jane telling a grown man to go pee, then smile as Edward bends down to kiss his son's head. "You be good for Bella, all right?" Standing, he looks over at me. "Meet you back at the café just after 12:30?"

"Sounds good," I nod. "I hope you get a great turnout! Masen and I will be fine."

Pacific Place is an upscale mall and unfortunately, most of the stores are out of my price range. Still, I can browse as long as Masen is occupied with a handful of toys.

I end up buying a matching bra and panty set from Victoria's Secret — hopefully for some day in the future — and a few items from The Body Shop. In no time at all, it's time to meet Edward.

After changing Masen's diaper in a nearby bathroom, I just leave him out of his stroller and carry him over to the café. He's a little flirt, waving at anyone who walks by.

"If I put you down, will you stay close by?" I ask Masen, as if he understands me. He just grins, so I tentatively set his feet on the floor. To keep him occupied, I lean over and play patty-cake with him.

"Your son is really cute," a male voice says. I look up, instinctively smiling at the man. With graying hair at his temples, he looks to be about 40 — probably a father himself. Once again, I'm unsure how to reply though, since Masen isn't _my_ son.

"Hey!" Edward calls, walking over toward us. He picks up Masen, then glances at the man who's still standing by us with a look that seems almost… possessive. Weird. Maybe he just doesn't like a stranger that close to Masen.

"Have a good afternoon," the man says, giving me a slight wave as he walks away.

"How did it go?" I ask Edward excitedly.

"Really well," he smiles, tickling Masen's belly.

"Did the lady from last night show up?" I ask curiously.

"She did," he nods. "Made it with about 20 minutes to spare. Do you think we can just leave the stroller here while we order?"

"It should be fine," I agree. Just in case, I grab the bag with my purchases out of the pouch on the back of the stroller. I've put the VS bag inside the other one so Edward doesn't spot it.

"Oh, by the way, Jane is just finishing up, but she'll probably be joining us in a few minutes." I try not to show my feelings about that on my face.

Once we've gotten our lunch, Edward grabs a booster seat for Masen, placing it on the chair beside him — forcing me to sit next to Jane when she arrives.

"I see you bought a few things," he says, nodding toward my bag.

"Yeah, I found some things," I reply. "Most of this mall is outside my price range, but it's fun to at least look at the $800 purses at Coach."

"They charge that much for a purse?" Edward asks, eyes wide.

"Clearly you never went shopping with Bree," I grin.

"Not if I could help it," he agrees, just as Jane saunters over.

* * *

 **A/N** : There's part 1 of the tour! Bella's been mistaken for Masen's mom a few times and she's got a new potential nemesis in Jane! Oh, and after all that worry about her pajamas, Edward fell asleep and didn't even see them.

Next update on **Thursday** with part 2 of the book signing tour!


	18. Thank You

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! Glad everyone enjoyed part 1 of the book signing tour! Disliking Jane is one thing you can all agree on.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 18 – Thank You_

Once Jane has sat down with her lunch, she monopolizes the conversation, giving more or less a play by play of the signing. I drown her out at some point, opting instead to entertain Masen.

When we've finished our lunch, Jane makes sure that Edward has the address for the Barnes & Noble in Bellevue for the 3pm book signing. She's really worried that he'll get lost and be late, but I assure her that I went to college in Seattle and know where we're going.

Masen is asleep in his stroller by the time we head back to the hotel's garage to get Edward's car. This afternoon's bookstore is located near the Bellevue Square mall, on the other side of Lake Washington. Once we've arrived, we park in the lot out front, and I get Masen settled back in his stroller for our trip to Bellevue's Downtown Park.

"I'll be done at 5:30," Edward says, ruffling his son's hair. "Have fun!"

"We will," I smile.

The park is huge, so I let Masen out of his stroller once we get there, allowing him to run around as he pleases. I'm happy to see that the playground has a special toddler area, though Masen is still too young for much of it. Still, he seems to be having a lot of fun with what he _can_ do. I take lots of photos on my phone of him enjoying the park, to show Edward later.

I'm pushing Masen in one of the baby swings when I hear a young girl shouting, "Mommy! I want to go play in the sandbox!"

"Do you want to play in the sandbox, too, Masen?" I ask. He claps his hands in excitement, though I doubt he even knows what a sandbox is, so I lift him out of the swing, taking his hand as I lead him over toward the little girl.

"Hi," she says, waving madly at Masen. "I'm Katelyn, and I'm thwee, what's your name?"

"His name is Masen," I answer for him.

"Mommy, look!" she shouts at the woman who's standing about six feet away and staring at her iPhone screen.

"Did you make a new friend, Katelyn?" she smiles.

There are a couple small pails in the sandbox, so Katelyn shows Masen how to fill them with sand and dump them out. He thinks it's great fun. I stand nearby taking more pictures, while Katelyn's mom continues to have her head buried in her phone. I make a mental note to ask Edward about putting in a sandbox in his backyard.

The afternoon with Masen goes perfectly — until I tell him it's time to leave to go meet his daddy. It's been a while since I've dealt with a toddler tantrum. He kicks and screams but I still manage to get him strapped into the stroller. No amount of telling him that we're going to see Daddy calms him down, so I eventually give up, pushing him down the pathway while he screams.

Thankfully, Masen quiets down when he can't see the park anymore. By the time we've covered the three blocks, he's as happy as he usually is.

Not spotting Edward outside the bookstore yet, I decide to go on inside. I easily notice his unusual hair color as he stands behind a table, talking to Jane. She's standing right beside him — a bit too close, if you ask me.

I push Masen closer, noticing Edward's eyes light up when he spots us. "Hey, buddy!" he calls. Masen starts bouncing in his seat, excited to see his father. I let him out of his prison so Edward can pick up his son.

"Did you guys have a good day?" he asks.

"We sure did! Masen didn't want to leave," I laugh. "Tonight I'll show you all of the photos I took."

"Awesome!" he smiles. "Jane and I were just discussing the plan for tomorrow morning. We need to be in Lakewood for the signing at 9:30, and she suggested allocating at least an hour to get there." I remember now that Edward told me his publishers had suggested getting a closer hotel, but he didn't want to pack up and move to a new hotel each night.

"So we go to bed early tonight," I laugh… realizing too late the impression I may have given Jane.

* * *

Once we're back at our downtown hotel, Edward and I decide to use the food vouchers his publishers got for us and have dinner at the hotel's restaurant, a burger bistro. I'm glad to see that they have those placemats where kids can color in a picture to keep Masen entertained, as long as he doesn't keep throwing the crayons on the floor.

"So how did it go this afternoon?" I ask once we've placed our order — and picked up the crayons for about the fourth time.

"Really well, I think," he answers. "There was a pretty steady stream of people, but not so many that I only had time to sign my name before moving on to the next person. I had a chance to spend some time chatting with everyone, which was cool. This morning I think we got more random people who showed up just because they were at Pacific Place and saw that something was going on," he explains. "That's fine too if it exposes my books to new readers."

"Do you enjoy talking to your readers?" I ask curiously. After picking up the crayons one more time, I take one of them to try and show Masen how it's done, coloring between the lines while I chat with Edward.

"Yeah," he smiles. "I like hearing their perspectives on my characters. I think maybe it's time to get with the current decade and start an author page on Facebook. My publishers actually wanted me to do that back when my first book came out in 2015."

"But you didn't?"

"No. I was working a full-time job then, with a baby due in a month. Just when things had calmed down enough that I could start thinking about it…" he pauses, shaking his head. "Once I moved to Forks, I wasn't really in the right mindset to interact with anyone."

"I'm glad that things are better for you now," I reply softly.

He nods, giving me a small smile. "They are. Your friendship has helped, so… thank you."

I smile widely as our server brings our food, effectively ending the conversation. I'm over the moon to hear how much Edward values our friendship.

* * *

After dinner, we go up to our room, where Edward takes Masen into the bathroom for his nightly bath. Knowing he'll be at least several minutes, I decide to make myself more comfortable and change into my pajamas before repacking my suitcase as much as I'm able.

I'm lying on my bed playing with my phone when Edward comes out of the bathroom. He puts Masen down for the night in the crib, then freezes when he turns around, his eyes raking up and down my bare legs. I don't really know what to do except let him look. I _want_ him to look.

Finally, he turns his head, his cheeks darkening. I think… maybe… Edward liked what he saw, but I don't think he wants to. Maybe I should've bought pajamas with longer pants, but I don't like to be too warm when I sleep. I had no way of knowing that he's a leg man, but apparently he is.

"I should probably set the alarm for 6:30," he says quietly, digging around in his suitcase. "I don't want to be late because of traffic."

"All right. Would you like to see the photos I took today?"

"Sure," he agrees, coming to sit on the edge of my bed. I hand Edward the phone and he smiles as he swipes the screen.

"This was Masen's first time at a playground," he says wistfully. "I'm sorry I missed it."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" I quickly apologize. "I should've realized that he would've been too young last summer, and the weather has been too crappy this spring to visit the playground in Forks."

"It's not your fault," he replies with a small smile.

"He really didn't want to leave," I chuckle. "Full on toddler meltdown."

Edward winces. "Sorry about that. He's usually a pretty good kid."

"It's fine." I wave my hand. "I've truly enjoyed getting to spend time with him."

"Do you want kids of your own one day?" he asks.

"Yeah," I smile. "I love kids; I mean, I teach 6-year-olds! But I'm only 25, so I have lots of time yet."

"I suppose you need a man first," he muses. "I mean, you aren't dating anyone, right? I guess I shouldn't assume."

"I'm not dating anyone," I confess, a little surprised that he'd bring up the topic. Living next door, I think he'd _know_ if I were dating someone.

"I haven't had a serious boyfriend since college," I continue. "Most of the men in Forks I've known all my life, since they were obnoxious kids. When I look at them now, it's hard not to remember them when they were 10 and putting frogs in my book bag."

He laughs. "I imagine it is a pretty small dating pool. I guess that's why all of the women I run into around town look at me like I'm some kind of magical unicorn."

That makes me laugh out loud. "The sister of one of the other teachers works at the Thriftway, and she had mentioned that you get a lot of female attention when you go shopping."

"Yeah," he admits, his cheeks turning a cute shade of pink. "I try to just ignore them, you know? I don't want to be rude, but… "

"But you're not interested," I finish. At least I can be glad that he doesn't seem to be interested in anyone else either.

"I think… one day I'd like to get married again," Edward confesses quietly. "I don't want Masen to grow up without a mom. I want him to have at least one sibling."

My brow furrows. "What about for yourself?"

"Masen's needs take precedence over mine."

"Yes, but… if you're unhappy, then you won't be at your best. You have to think of your own needs, too."

"I know that one day I'll be ready for… female companionship. There are days now when I'm lonely and think about how good it would feel to hold someone again, or to touch someone."

"You can do that, you know," I suggest gently. "It's been nine months since Bree died. No one would hold it against you."

"I would," he replies quietly. "I'm gonna get ready for bed."

He disappears into the bathroom and I sigh, setting my phone on the nightstand. It makes me sad to see Edward still so hung up on his dead wife that he's not ready to look at another woman, despite his own needs.

When Edward returns — shirtless again — he sits on his bed, first running his hand through his hair, then holding it in his other hand as he flexes it.

"So your hand _does_ hurt from signing your name so many times," I tease him.

"Not just my name; most of the time I'll write a little dedication."

"Want me to help?" I suggest, nodding toward his hand. He raises an eyebrow and I stand up, grabbing my bottle of lotion from my toiletries bag, then sitting cross-legged beside him.

"Give me your hand," I direct softly. I squeeze some lotion onto the palm of his right hand, then begin gently massaging it.

"Where'd you learn that?"

"Nail technicians will usually massage your hand when you get a manicure," I explain, gently pulling on each of his fingers individually. "I'm just trying to imitate what they do."

"It feels nice," he says quietly after a few moments. "Thank you."

"Glad I can help," I smile, looking up at him.

Edward quickly averts his eyes, looking for all the world like he just got caught doing… something. I frown, looking down… and see that thanks to the way I'm leaning over, the front of my pajama top is hanging open enough that he could probably see right down it!

Oops. I swear that was unintentional. Really.

"Better?" I ask, dropping his hand… and pretending that I didn't notice anything.

He smiles, nodding. "I may need your help tomorrow, too."

"At your service," I grin, standing before moving back to my own bed.

Edward picks up his phone, then sets it back on the nightstand after a messing with it. "We should probably get some sleep; we have a long day tomorrow."

"All right," I agree. "Good night."

* * *

I've never been the soundest sleeper, and I'm awakened by a noise when it's still pitch black outside. It takes a few moments for my brain to catch up and realize that the noise is Masen crying. Glancing toward Edward's bed, I see that he appears to still be asleep, so I decide to get up.

Picking up Masen, only a cursory check is required to know that he needs to be changed. Thankful for the nightlight in the bathroom, I manage to find where Edward had set the diaper bag. I hook the handle over one arm, then fumble my way across the dark room.

I turn the light on in the bathroom, then lay Masen on a towel on the floor before searching for a new diaper. Once I've got him cleaned up, changed and re-dressed in his pajamas, I pick him up, carrying him back into the bedroom.

Of course, he's wide awake now. I sway him back and forth in my arms while rubbing his back, then begin singing to him, " _Hush little baby, don't say a word, Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird…_ "

When I've finished the song, I glance at Masen's face, happy to see him fast asleep, his head on my shoulder. Very carefully, I lay him down in the crib, then stand there for a minute to make sure I haven't disturbed him.

Turning around, I'm nearly back to my bed when I glance over at Edward's bed to see him sitting up, watching me. "You're good with him," he whispers.

"I babysat as a teenager. My goal was usually to keep the kids asleep so I could do my own thing," I add with a grin.

"Don't underestimate yourself. I think you'll make a great mom one day."

I'm glad it's dark, so he can't see my blush. "That means a lot coming from someone who's a great dad. Thank you." I crawl back into bed, smiling as I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.

* * *

 **A/N** : There's part 2 of the tour! Bella got to spend some quality bonding time with Masen, and Edward realized that she is in fact a female. He's still not over the guilt about moving on though.

Next update on **Monday** with part 3 of the book signing tour!


	19. Point of No Return

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! We'll pass _Oh Brother_ in reviews with this chapter, which is kinda sad.

Once again, reviews cover the entire spectrum, from those pleased that Bella is being patient and not trying to force anything, to those who think she's being disingenuous.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 19 – Point of No Return_

Six-thirty comes way too early, especially given the 3am interruption. I move on autopilot through my shower, then leave the bathroom to Edward while I dry my hair. Once we've each double and triple checked that we have all of our things packed, we head downstairs so Edward can check out while I wait with a sleepy Masen.

After a quick text to Jane, we're on the road by about 7:45, making our way through the busy downtown streets to I-5 South. Lakewood is on the south side of Tacoma, near McChord Air Force Base. The Barnes & Noble where the signing will be held is located in the Lakewood Town Center shopping mall.

The traffic on the freeway is pretty bad, though not nearly as bad as northbound into Seattle. We make it to Lakewood with plenty of time to spare, parking in the lot in front of the bookstore. Inside, we find Jane directing everyone with the set-up.

"Is there coffee?" Edward asks her.

"There's a Starbucks on the other side of the roundabout, if you go back out the way you came in," she answers, glancing at her watch. "There's time if you want to get some."

"Bella, do you want to stay here with Masen?" he asks, and I nod in agreement.

Once Edward has left, I plan to have a look around the bookstore, but Jane stops me. "So," she begins confidentially, "are you and Edward a thing?"

My eyes widen. I'd really like to lie to her, but I feel like I'll end up getting called out on it. "We're neighbors and good friends."

"Must be _really_ good friends if you took off work to help him out with Masen."

I shrug. "I'm a teacher; we're on Spring Break this week."

"So he's available?" Jane asks, her eyes lighting up. I need to shut that train of thought down right now.

"I assume you know he was widowed last year."

"Yes, but that was last year," she dismisses. "He's a man. He must have needs."

"Well, they don't involve women right now." _Trust me._

"You sound like you're speaking from experience," she replies, raising an eyebrow.

"We've talked about it," I explain with what I hope is a casual shrug. "Many women back in Forks have tried and been rebuffed." I may be exaggerating a bit, but she'll never know.

"Well, that's just a shame."

"Jane!" someone calls and she scurries off to do her job. I let out a deep breath, shaking my head. I don't _think_ Edward would be interested in her, but she's a petite blonde. I can admit she's attractive, and she reminds me a bit of the photos I've seen of Bree.

Edward soon returns with coffees and breakfast. Once the book signing begins at 9:30, I take Masen over to the kids section for a while and read a book to him while he's cuddled on my lap.

On the drive down here, I checked the schedule for the 12-screen movie theater that's right next door. Forks doesn't have a theater, and I'd love to see something while I've got the chance, but the first showings don't begin until 10:25.

About 15 minutes prior, I head over there and purchase a ticket for _Beauty and the Beast_ , hoping that Masen will behave. The only real kids' movie playing right now is _The Boss Baby_ , which seems like it's aimed at an older audience than a 15-month-old. The Smurfs movie that I see advertised on posters doesn't open until Friday.

Luckily, the theater isn't crowded at all, so I won't feel bad if Masen starts acting up. The darkness seems to put him to sleep though, and I end up with his head cradled in my lap while I gently stroke his hair. Edward was right that he really is a good kid, usually happy and smiling. I know that if Edward and I were to end up together one day, Masen would become my responsibility, too. And I would be more than OK with that.

The movie is over two hours long and runs a bit past the end of the signing, so I send a quick text to Edward to let him know. When he gets a chance, he texts back and offers to go pick us up lunch nearby — there's a snack bar, but theater prices are ridiculous — and meet me out front.

After our quick lunch, we're back on the road, continuing south to Olympia. This time, the bookstore's location is a little more isolated, with little to do nearby. I take Masen next door to the Petco to see the available animals for a while, then we head back to Barnes & Noble, where I read him a couple more books. He loves the ones with pop-up pictures.

When the signing ends at 6pm, we say goodbye to Jane and stop for dinner in town, then get back on the freeway for the two-hour drive to Portland.

Once again, I wait with Masen during check-in at our hotel. I'm not really paying attention until I hear Edward's distressed voice. "You don't have what?"

"I'm sorry, Sir," the front desk clerk apologizes. "With your later check-in, it appears that someone already sold the last room with two queen beds. All we have left are king rooms. I can offer you a free upgrade to one of our two-room suites as well as free continental breakfast."

I watch with rapt attention as Edward runs his hand through his hair, then appears to let out a breath. "All right. Thank you. What time is check-out?"

"Noon."

"Could we get a late check-out? I have business nearby until noon, and it would help if we don't need to rush to check out before I have to leave."

"Of course. Will one o'clock be sufficient?"

Edward nods his agreement, reminding the clerk that we'll need a crib sent up to the room. I start gathering up Masen, walking with Edward toward the elevators once he's got our key cards.

"I imagine you heard that."

"I did," I nod.

"I'll sleep on the couch if you want," he offers as the elevator doors open.

"That… isn't necessary. A king-sized bed has plenty of room for two people."

Tonight I remain dressed while Edward gives his son his bath, partially because someone is supposed to be bringing the crib up to our suite, and partially because I don't want things to be even _more_ awkward with Edward.

The crib shows up just in time, and I offer to put Masen down so Edward can get ready for bed. When he's finished in the bathroom, I take my turn.

I come out to find the door onto our balcony open and Edward outside, his hands braced on the railing as he stares off into the distance. He's put on a t-shirt, but I don't know if it's because he feels uncomfortable with sleeping bare-chested in the same bed with me, or if it's just because it's chilly outside. I really hope it's the latter.

Rubbing my arms against the cold, I step outside onto the balcony with him. "The city looks really pretty with all of the lights," he says softly. "I miss this part of living in a city sometimes."

"It's nice to visit, but I don't miss the noise of the city. I like how quiet it can be in Forks, and how many stars you can see on a clear night."

Edward glances over at me, then frowns. "Did you only pack one pair of pajamas?"

"Um… yeah?" That's how I got everything in one small suitcase. Does he not want to share a bed with me now?

"You must be cold out here," he says, turning back toward the room. I follow him inside, then close the balcony door behind me. I hope he was just worried about the cold.

"Is your hand cramping again tonight?" I ask in an attempt to change the subject.

"Oh… yeah. I could use your magic touch." He sits on one side of the bed while I grab my bottle of lotion, then come to sit beside him.

Somehow massaging his hand feels different tonight, though I'm not doing anything differently than last night. Just knowing that we'll both be sleeping in this bed later… it feels more intimate. Or maybe I just want it to be.

"Thanks," he finally says, pulling his hand away before standing up. He picks up the remote control and channel guide, turning on the TV. "I thought we could watch the late news," he explains.

Given Edward's reaction to my legs last night, I slip under the covers, plumping the pillows as I lean against them. Edward remains on top of the covers.

Once the news is finished, he doesn't move, continuing on watching Jimmy Fallon. I'm getting pretty tired, and I imagine Edward must be too, but he doesn't seem interested in going to sleep. I can't help worrying that our sleeping arrangements have something to do with that. _I'm_ not going to offer to go sleep on the couch though.

Only when the late night show is finished does Edward sit up with a yawn. He turns the TV off then picks up his phone, presumably to set the alarm. I flatten the pillows and get myself settled as he finally gets until the covers.

"Good night," I tell him quietly, turning onto my side away from him.

"Good night."

* * *

I'm having the most amazing dream of cuddling up by a roaring fire with… a dog?

My eyes snap open to a dark room. There's warmth against my back, something warm and heavy over my torso, and warm breath on my neck.

I don't think it's actually a dog though.

I stretch a little bit, and when my backside comes in contact with something hard, I understand: Edward has cuddled up with me during the night.

Shit! What do I do? I mean, it's not like I _mind_ — except his arm is kinda heavy — but if the alarm goes off when we're still like this? I'm afraid he'll never talk to me again.

I lie quietly for a few minutes, rather enjoying the feel of his body behind me, but he shows no signs of wanting to move. I try stretching again, stopping abruptly when I'm certain that I feel Little Edward poking me.

Grabbing hold of his wrist with my right hand, I slowly lift his arm. "Mmmm…" he mumbles, and then flops onto his back. I hold my breath, hoping he's still asleep. When I hear his slow, even breathing, I relax, scooting a few inches closer to the edge of the bed.

* * *

Once again, the alarm seems to go off much too early. "You can shower first," Edward says sleepily.

It still seems so dark, but then as I get up and walk over to the balcony door, I realize it's raining. Great. I suppose we couldn't possibly have four nice days in a row in the Pacific Northwest.

When I come out of the bathroom, Masen is awake and running circles around the furniture out in the living room area of our suite. Edward wrangles him, carrying him back into the bedroom.

"Other people might still be sleeping, OK?" he explains. "You need to be a little quieter."

When he spots me, Masen reaches out his hands. "Maaaahhhh!"

And all of time freezes.

"Maaaahhhh!"

"You want to go to Bella?" Edward asks. Slowly, I reach out, letting Masen crawl into my arms.

"Hey buddy," I whisper.

"Ma!"

"Bella isn't your mommy, sweetheart. Can you say Bella?" Masen looks up at his father, a confused look on his sweet face. "Bell-la," Edward pronounces.

"Ben!" I can't help it, I laugh, and that seems to break the tension.

"You want to help me dry my hair, Masen?" I ask with a smile.

Shaking his head, Edward grabs his clothes, then heads into the bathroom, while I pick up the blow dryer. Turning the TV to the Cartoon Network seems to keep Masen occupied.

I don't start getting nervous until I hear the shower turn off. I really hope Masen's mistake doesn't cause Edward to pull back from me. I don't know where Masen could've gotten the idea that I'm his mother. I've certainly never said anything like that! Maybe he learned it from his three-year-old girlfriend?

Once Edward is dressed, he comes out of the bathroom then walks over to the balcony, frowning.

"You know, you and Masen can stay here during the signing if you don't want to go out in the rain," he suggests. "I'll only be like two blocks away."

"That might not be a bad idea," I agree. Why didn't I think of it?

"You guys can still come down to breakfast with me. Come on, Mase! Let's go get something to eat!"

The breakfast is a buffet, so I take a seat with Masen while Edward fills a plate. He's been kind of quiet ever since his shower, and I'm not sure he's looked me in the eye.

Once I've got my own plate of food, I aim to change that. "Are you mad at me?"

Edward's head snaps up and he stares at me for a moment. "No," he finally replies. "I know it's not your fault." He swallows thickly, then continues, "Do you think… does this mean he wants a mommy?"

I shrug. "He's probably just heard the word somewhere. He might not know what it means. Maybe he thinks all women are mommy. Or maybe he was just babbling and it didn't mean anything at all."

Edward smiles down at his son, smoothing his blond hair while the little boy picks up bits of scrambled eggs with his hand. "I hope you're right."

After breakfast, Edward comes back up to the room with us to grab his jacket, then kisses his son goodbye before leaving for the book signing. It feels almost… domestic. I turn the TV back on to cartoons, set Masen on the bed, then start packing up my things in the bathroom.

Once I've got my suitcase closed up, I look down at Edward's bag on the floor — he let me have the luggage rack. I think about packing it for him, but that just seems a little bit _too_ domestic. He may not want me touching his dirty underwear.

Packing for him feels natural though, like something I want to do for him. And I realize, I want to do _everything_ for him. I already knew from our weekly dinners that Edward is an amazing person, but now, after spending the last three days with him…

I'm really and truly falling for him. It's not just liking him as a friend, and it's not just physical attraction. I see the way he loves his son. I see the way he loved — _loves_ — his late wife.

And I see the way he looks at me sometimes. He feels some sort of attraction for me, I _know_ it. If only he can convince himself that he's ready to move on.

* * *

 **A/N** : Oh dear. Masen called Bella "Ma" and now Bella has realized she's really falling for Edward. At least she got rid of Jane. Do you think Masen knows what he's saying? And what should Bella do now after her revelation?

My great-aunt Helen was always known as "Hun" because my dad couldn't say her name properly as a child; hence, Bella = Ben.

Next update on **Thursday**!


	20. I Don't Want Your Love

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! We've been picking up about 10 new Followers per day, so keep telling your friends if you're enjoying the story.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 20 – I Don't Want Your Love_

After the book signing is over at noon, Edward returns to the hotel to pack up his suitcase so that we can check out by 1pm. It's still raining, so instead of finding a place nearby where we can walk to lunch, we drive north into Washington before exiting the freeway and looking for something.

It's about a four-and-a-half-hour drive from Portland to Forks, so we're back home just in time for me to meet the girls for our usual Thursday night dinner. I know they're going to grill me on what happened with Edward. I don't mind though; I'd really like to get an outside perspective.

Alice is already in the corner booth when I arrive. She starts squealing as soon as she sees me.

"Oh my God, tell me what happened!" she demands, bouncing in her seat.

"Hold your horses!" I laugh, sitting beside her. "I'm not telling you and then repeating it when Angela shows up. And this from the girl who refused to give us any of the good deets on your visit with Jasper."

"I told you, I don't kiss and tell!" she repeats for the hundredth time.

"Well, neither do I."

"There was kissing involved?" she squeals. I roll my eyes.

When our waitress stops by, we order drinks for the three of us — Alice and I know Angela's order by now. She shows up just as our waitress is setting the drinks on the table.

"I swear to God, if I get much bigger, we're gonna have to start sitting at a table," she grumbles as she slides into the booth across from us. Alice and I — and our waitress — snicker at her, earning each of us a lethal glare. We place our orders and then I know it's my turn in front of the firing squad.

"Spill it, Swan," Angela orders. "Give us the good, the bad and the ugly of your trip with Edward."

I take a long sip of my drink first, mostly to make them sweat it out. "OK, the good… I had a great time with Edward, and I really enjoyed spending time with Masen." I pause dramatically. "Also, I think Edward is a leg man."

"What?!" Alice exclaims.

"I bought new pajamas with shorts, and I know he was looking at my legs. He also seemed to be looking down my top when I inadvertently gave him a peep show."

"A-ha! I _told_ you that you needed to get sexy pajamas!"

"They _weren't_ sexy," I stress. "But the top was loose enough to blouse out from the way I was sitting."

"OK, so he looked, then what?" Angela asks.

"Then… nothing. I think he liked what he saw, but he didn't really want to."

"But that's progress, right?" Alice persists. "You know he's attracted to you. I'd definitely put that in the good column."

"And the fact that he doesn't want to be is in the bad column. Along with Jane."

"Who the fuck is Jane?" Alice asks.

"She works for Edward's publishers coordinating the book signings — basically a glorified babysitter. She had her eye on Edward, but I'm sure my presence put a snag in her plans."

"You know this for sure?" Angela asks.

I nod. "She actually asked me when we were alone if Edward and I were together, and when I said no, she asked if he was available. I tried to tell her she'd be wasting her time."

"She doesn't sound like much of a threat then," Alice comments. "Anything in the ugly category?"

I sigh, taking another sip of my Diet Coke as I try to figure out how to explain this. "I think… I'm really falling for Edward," I confess. "And Masen."

"Why is that so awful?" Angela asks, her face adorably scrunched up.

"Because he appears to be nowhere near ready for a new relationship. Yeah, I already knew that he's still grieving, but from some of the conversations we had… I don't see a light at the end of the tunnel," I shrug.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," Alice advises. "If he's looking at you, if he's able to find another woman attractive, then I think he's not that far off being ready to move on with someone else."

"You really think so?" I ask hopefully.

"Yeah, I do," she smiles. "I promise I'm not just trying to make you feel better."

"I agree with Alice," Angela speaks up. "I took a few Psychology classes back in college, and I remember reading a list of signs that indicate someone who's been widowed or divorced is ready to stick their toe back into the dating pool."

"So you're saying I just need to be patient," I sigh. "I guess I can do that, if I feel like my patience will lead to something."

"You can't push him, so what alternative do you have?" Angela questions. "All you could really do is move on and start dating someone else."

I wrinkle my nose at the thought of dating another man from _Forks_. "Patience it is then."

* * *

Jasper and his parents arrive in Forks on Friday night, staying through Monday. I'm kind of jealous of my best friend when I learn that she'll be having Easter dinner with the Cullens on Sunday. Edward actually invited me to join them, but my dad was insistent on having a family holiday of our own with Sue and her kids.

Though I offered to host, Sue is helping out by bringing the side dishes. I spend Sunday morning baking a carrot cake — a tradition my dad started with me when I still believed in the Easter bunny — then start the ham for our dinner.

"How was your trip with Edward?" Dad asks as we eat.

"Hottie Edward?" Leah exclaims, her eyebrows nearly up to her hairline. "Man, you'll be the envy of nearly every single woman in Forks."

"Yes, that Edward," I reply, rolling my eyes. "I was just helping him out, watching his son while he was busy at a handful of book signings. And I had a great time, Dad. It was a lot of fun watching Masen. The weather was nice enough when we were in Seattle to take him to a park with a playground."

"Even if it was innocent, I wouldn't tell too many people," Leah chuckles. "Seriously, I think women follow him around the store like a dog after a treat. Or maybe a big meaty… sausage."

I burst out laughing at her description. "Yeah, my coworker's sister works there and she mentioned how popular he apparently is."

"Oh, what's her name?"

"Lauren."

"Ha! She works in Produce and is probably one of the worst at throwing herself at him."

"I have to admit, you've got me intrigued as to what this man looks like," Sue says with a smile.

"Well, he's right next door if you want to go knock and take a peek," I tease her.

"Did you ever find out how his wife died?" she asks. "And what made him move to Forks?"

"Oh… yeah, I guess I found that out over two months ago. She was killed during a home invasion."

"Oh dear!" Sue gasps. "I hope the person responsible is behind bars."

"He is," I nod. "He was convicted in late January, though he hasn't been sentenced yet. Hey Dad, do you think that's maybe why Edward's name sounded familiar to you?"

My dad puts down his fork, stroking his moustache. "I can't imagine I would've heard of a murder in Chicago."

"Bree's car was stolen, so maybe there was an APB on it?" I question.

"That's possible," he agrees.

"Edward moved to Forks because he couldn't stay in Chicago due to nightmares," I answer Sue's second question. "I think he wanted a quiet, safe community, and he'd enjoyed this area while on a vacation with his parents years ago."

"That makes sense," she nods. "The poor thing may be suffering some kind of PTSD."

"Well, he'll have his pick of women once he's ready to move on," Leah comments, making me frown. It's true that Edward may be attracted to me, but I'm sure there are other attractive women in Forks. What if he falls for one of them?

My dad clears his throat. "Um, speaking of moving on… I've asked Sue to marry me, and she said yes!"'

"Dad!" I yell at the same time Seth yells out, "Way to go!" and Leah jumps up to hug her mother.

"Charlie," Sue chuckles, "I thought we were going to tell them after dinner?"

"Eh, the timing seemed right," he shrugs.

"Have you set a date?" I ask.

"Soon-ish, I think," he answers. "If Sue and Seth are going to be moving into the house, we'd like to get them settled before Seth starts at Forks High in September."

"I hope it's OK if Seth moves into your old bedroom, Bella?" Sue asks.

"Yes, of course! I don't plan on living there again," I laugh.

"Now, we're not thinking of a big wedding," Dad cautions. "We might just elope somewhere, just the two of us."

"Well, that's no fun if I can't make your cake," I pout, mostly teasing.

* * *

After dinner, the five of us move into the living room and turn on the TV until we're hungry enough for dessert. Dad had insisted that we have our dinner after the Mariners' afternoon game, but he picks up the remote control looking for another night baseball game to watch.

When we're finally hungry again, I head into the kitchen to serve up the cake, surprised when Dad follows me.

"I thought I'd help out," he says when I look at him in confusion, but somehow I think there's more to it. Dad never really has anything to do with things in the kitchen, except for rinsing off dishes.

"Isabella," he begins while I search for the best knife in the drawer, "are you really OK with my getting married again?"

"Of course I am!" I stress, turning to look him in the eye. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, you know… it's been just the two of us for so long."

"Dad, I'm 25 years old! And even if I was still a young child living at home, I never would've begrudged you a second chance at happiness."

He stares at me for a long moment, then nods. "All right then."

* * *

Later, after everyone has left, I load and start the dishwasher, then gather the trash bag to put in the bin out back to wheel out to the curb for tomorrow morning's pick-up. Opening the back door, I step outside, but as I lift the lid, I hear voices coming from nearby.

"What about Bella?" a male voice asks.

"Bella is a wonderful person, and she's great with Masen. I couldn't ask for a better friend."

Edward. He must be talking to Jasper, as the first voice didn't sound like their father.

"Now you know that's not what I was asking about," Jasper drawls.

There's silence, and I carefully set the trash bag in the bin, holding my breath waiting for a response. Some part of me knows it's wrong to eavesdrop on their conversation, but I can't help myself.

"Jazz… I can't even think about another woman in that way. It feels like I'm betraying Bree."

"There's no betrayal. You took a vow until death do you part. You've lived up to your end of the bargain," Jasper says, so softly that I can barely hear. "You know that Bree would want you to be happy. She wouldn't want you to spend the rest of your life alone."

"I'm not talking about the rest of my life!" Edward says angrily. "Why are you pushing me on this?"

"I'm _not_ pushing you. I just don't want to see you completely close your mind to the possibility of another woman someday. I know you want what's best for Masen—"

"So I should find him a mother?"

"You didn't let me finish," Jasper scolds. "I don't think you can be the best possible father to Masen if you're not taking your own needs into consideration. I saw the way you were looking at Alice and me when we were holding hands. It's all right to admit that you're starving for affection."

"It feels like a betrayal," Edward insists, and I wonder just how much he punished himself after we slept together six months ago.

"It's _not_."

"It _is_ as long as I still love Bree."

"Ed," Jasper sighs, "I think a part of you will _always_ love Bree. That can't be your guide for when you're ready to move on. Your heart can expand to love another woman the same way it expanded when Masen was born.

"Look, I don't think you need to jump back into a committed relationship. But I think… baby steps would be good for you."

"You mean start dating."

"Not tomorrow or next week, but… yeah. Go out on a few dates, see how it feels. Open yourself up to the possibility of finding love again. You've got Bree on this pedestal, and she was an amazing woman, we all miss her, but there are plenty of good women out there."

It's quiet for several moments, and my heart starts beating madly as I wait for his reply.

"Did Mom put you up to this conversation?" Edward asks.

"She… might have suggested that you'd take it better coming from me than from her, but I don't disagree with any of her worries."

"I know you're just looking out for me like a good big brother should, but… falling in love again isn't near the top of my priority list. Right now I just need to concentrate on Masen and on my career. I'm not ready for a new relationship," Edward stresses. "I don't know when I will be ready. I appreciate everyone's concern, but I'm the only one who understands how I feel. I'm the only one who will know when it feels right to start dating again. It's too soon for me right now; Bree hasn't even been dead for a year. Maybe some men are able to start dating again after just a few months, but I'm not one of them. It's not like she'd been sick for months and I'd had time to prepare for the inevitable."

"I get that," Jasper acquiesces. "I understand that you aren't ready to start looking for love, but… what if love finds you? Promise me that if you find yourself with feelings for a woman that you'll take that as a sign that you're ready."

"I… don't know if I can promise that, Jazz. I can only do what feels right to me."

I should've gone back inside several minutes ago, but now I know that I can't listen to any more. I tiptoe back toward the door, opening it then closing it as silently as I can once I'm inside. I'll have to wheel the trash bin out to the curb later.

The tears that had been pricking at my eyes are now falling in silent streams down my face. Jasper tried his best, but in the end, he couldn't convince Edward to give love a chance. In fact, it seems that he dug in his heels the more he was pressed on the subject.

Alice and Angela had my hopes up last week, but now… moving on may be my best course of action.

* * *

 **A/N** : Yay for Charlie and Sue!

So Bella's friends think Edward isn't a lost cause and she should continue to be patient… but then she overheard an interesting conversation. Who's right — Edward or Jasper? And how many of you are going to come down on Bella for listening? Or would you have done the same?

Next update on **Monday**!


	21. A Matter of Feeling

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! The last chapter is currently the third highest in reviews, and I couldn't get through all of the replies Thursday night. A slight headache and a cat who insisted on blocking the monitor to get Mom's attention weren't helping!

I forgot to mention this last week, but it was just in the news that the husband from the real life story that inspired this one has gotten engaged two years after his wife's murder. Google "Davey Blackburn engaged" if you want to read about it. He'd made the decision not to date until after the one-year anniversary of her death, though he noticed his new fiancée two months before that.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 21 – A Matter of Feeling_

Over the next several days, I spend a lot of time thinking about what I should do about Edward. Part of me thinks I should pull back from our friendship to protect my own heart, but that doesn't seem fair to him. It's not his fault that he's still grieving his late wife. It's not his fault that he's not ready to move on with another woman. He doesn't deserve to be punished because I've developed feelings for him, and neither does Masen.

Luckily, I suppose, Edward's book has been selling well and cracked the New York Times' Top 20, so his burgeoning career is our main topic of conversation, rather than anything too personal. I'm not sure I can hear him repeat one more time that he isn't interested in finding love again.

It's two weeks after Easter, and we're sitting on my couch watching TV after dinner while Masen plays on the floor. Edward looks up at me nervously, which makes _me_ nervous about what he wants to talk about.

"They've set a new date for the sentencing," he begins quietly. Originally scheduled for late March, it was then postponed indefinitely.

"When?"

"May 12th. It's a Friday. I'll probably need to get a flight to Chicago on the Thursday, and then I'll fly back on Saturday."

"You're definitely going then?" I know Edward really hasn't been sure about going back to Chicago again, even if it's only for 48 hours.

"Yeah," he nods. "They, um, want me to read a victim impact statement."

"Oh wow!" I exclaim. "Do you want to do that?"

"No," he chuckles humorlessly. "But I'll do whatever it takes to see him get the maximum possible sentence."

"Have you written it yet?"

He shakes his head. "Not yet."

I reach out, rubbing his lower arm in comfort. "Well, seeing as you're an awesome writer, I'm sure whatever you come up with will be very powerful."

Edward shifts nervously. "So, um, I know this is gonna sound really strange coming from the guy who had to take his son on a four-day book signing tour a month ago, but… could you, um, watch Masen while I'm gone? I don't really want to take him on two four-hour flights just so Mom can watch him while I'm a total basket case."

"Ohhhhh," I frown. "You know I'm always happy to help you, but… I've got school. I could watch him after work, I guess, if Carolyn or someone else is able to watch him during the day."

"I'll check with her tomorrow," he agrees. "Thank you."

I smile at him. So much for wanting to pull back. "For what it's worth, I agree with not taking Masen to Chicago for such a short trip. I'm sure your mom will miss seeing him, but she just saw him two weeks ago."

"Yeah, I think I'd be more willing to bring him if they hadn't just visited or I'd be staying longer."

"Do you really think you'll be a basket case?" I ask tentatively.

"I'm fully expecting the usual nightmares. I can't imagine anything has changed in three months. Then add to that going to court and having to tell everyone how it felt to find my wife's dead body?" He pauses, shaking his head. "It's not going to be a fun trip."

"You know, if I could… I'd go with you for support," I find myself saying. And it's true. Despite the cost to myself, I think I'd do anything for him.

"Thank you," he whispers. "I know I'll have Mom, if not my entire family there."

"I'm glad you won't be alone."

"They've been really great… even if they don't know when to mind their own business," he growls.

Though I know what he's referring to, I can't help but laugh. "I think all families are like that. Oh hey, speaking of families, I forgot to mention this last week — my dad finally asked his girlfriend to marry him!"

"That's a good thing… right?"

"It is," I nod, smiling widely. "Sue's really nice, and she's good for him. Her husband, Harry, died after a heart attack about eight years ago. My dad has kind of been married to his job for the last 23 years, since Mom left us. I'm really happy for him."

"So do you get to be a bridesmaid?" he grins.

"Probably not," I shrug. "They're talking about eloping or just doing something small." Looking down at Edward's hand on his thigh, I notice the silver wedding band he still hasn't taken off. "Did, um, you and Bree have a big wedding? I know you said it was outdoors in a park."

"I don't even remember how many guests we had," he chuckles. "Between all of our relatives and friends, our parents' friends and coworkers… I pretty much lost control of the planning. My job was to show up in a tux and not forget the ring."

I laugh, trying really hard not to picture how hot a younger Edward must've looked in a tuxedo.

"Never again," he says, shaking his head. "The big wedding, I mean. Our parents paid for it, but I still think it's a huge waste of money."

"I'm with you on that one."

* * *

It takes a bit of coordination and planning, but we finally figure out a plan to watch Masen while Edward is in Chicago. Alice's mom has an appointment Thursday afternoon and is unable to watch him, but Alice herself is off work. Before he leaves for the airport, Edward drives Masen to Alice's house, trusting me that she's a capable babysitter.

Since it's a Thursday, Alice, Angela and I are meeting at the diner at our usual time. Edward had suggested that we only deal with the car seat once, so I drive to Alice's place to pick them up.

"OK, Edward showed me how to do this, but no promises," she warns. My old truck does have an excuse for a back seat, but with only two doors, you need to be either a contortionist or tiny like Alice to fit back there.

My truck didn't come with seat belts, but my dad insisted that they be added before giving the truck to a newly licensed driver, so Alice is able to install the car seat base mostly properly… I hope. Alice also manages to buckle Masen into his car seat, but I know that's going to be my responsibility later.

"Maybe it's time for a more modern vehicle, Swan," she growls, slithering out of the back seat. "One with four doors."

"I don't need four doors," I protest.

"You will once you get together with Edward," she grins. I roll my eyes, but… Alice is a lot more optimistic than I am. Of course, I never told her or Angela about the conversation I overheard on Easter. I felt guilty enough having listened to it myself.

"How did babysitting go?" I ask as I drive us to the diner. "You've had him since early this morning, right?"

"Yeah, Edward's flight was leaving at 2:30, so he had to leave for the airport pretty early. Since it was a nice day, I took Masen to the playground and wore him out," she smiles. "He spent much of the afternoon napping."

"So you're saying I won't be able to get him to sleep tonight."

Alice grins. "It's almost like I'm a grandparent, gleefully handing him back off to his parents on a sugar high." I flip her the bird in response.

At the diner, Angela is already seated in a table with a high chair. We had to give up our booth two weeks ago anyway, thanks to Ang's blossoming belly. I walk in with Masen holding my hand, then lift him into the high chair.

"Masen, do you remember Angela?"

"Hi Masen!" she says, waving at the little boy. He grins, waving back.

We order meals for the three of us, plus a grilled cheese kids meal for Masen. I'm not convinced that he'll eat enough to justify an entire meal, but Angela is eating for two, so she'll probably finish it.

"Do you and Masen have any big plans for your time together?" Angela asks.

"Not really," I shrug. "When we get home tonight, it'll be bath and bedtime, and with your mom watching him most of tomorrow, that just leaves Saturday to really play with him. If it's nice this weekend, maybe I can take him to the park like Alice did today; he had a great time at the playground in Bellevue last month."

"He's a super sweet kid," Alice says.

"And a flirt," Angela adds, pointing toward Masen. I turn my head then burst out laughing at the way he's turned in his high chair, a wide grin on his face as he looks at one of the other female customers.

"Newsflash, Mase, she's too old for you." I smooth his blond curls, then lean over to kiss the top of his head.

"Mamamama…" he babbles.

"Oh shit!" Angela yells.

"I'm Bella, remember?" I look him in the eye to stress my point, but he just smiles at me.

"Has he said that before?" Alice asks.

Nodding, I turn toward the girls. "Yeah, the morning in Portland."

"Did Edward freak?" she asks, eyes wide.

"Not as much as I expected," I admit. "He was mostly worried that it's a sign Masen wants a mom. I'm not sure it's any more than baby talk."

Inside, I'm actually kind of sure it _is_ more than baby talk. He's said it when he wanted me to hold him and after I just kissed his head. I don't think it's random.

"Kids are pretty smart," Angela says. "Be careful."

"I know," I smile sadly. "If he says it again, I'll continue to correct him."

"Look out!" Alice suddenly yells and I turn just in time to see Masen toss his sippy cup to the floor. I hurriedly pick it up, then dunk my napkin in my water so I can wash off the top, even if it never touched the floor.

"We don't throw things," I lecture him. "I'm going to give this back to you, but if you throw it again, I'm keeping it unless you need a drink, OK?"

Big, innocent brown eyes stare up at me, but I have no idea if he understands what I said. I know throwing things on the floor so parents will fetch them is a favorite game of young children.

Our waitress brings our meals then, and I snatch Masen's plate to cut up his grilled cheese into bite-sized pieces. Instead of fries, I ordered him apple slices, which are probably also too large for a toddler, so I cut them up as well.

"You've got this down," Angela smiles.

"Practice from watching Edward," I laugh.

* * *

After we've finished eating — Angela _did_ finish Masen's — Alice "supervises" while I get Masen buckled into his car seat. I've done it before, but in Edward's SUV where there's a lot more room to maneuver. Angela offers to give Alice a ride home.

It's nearing Masen's bedtime when we get to my house, so I carry him and the bag Edward packed for him upstairs to my bathroom. I get the water started in the tub, then undress Masen and remove his wet diaper.

I've bathed children before, but it's been a long time, so I'm a bit paranoid about making sure the water is an appropriate temperature. I test with my elbow until I think it's good, then set Masen in the bath and toss in his rubber duckie to keep him occupied while I wash him.

My first toddler bath in years goes amazingly well until I'm nearly finished. Masen suddenly slams his hands down on the water, splashing water all over me!

"Nice job, kid," I growl sarcastically while he dissolves in a fit of giggles.

I carefully brush the water out of my eye, then finish up before lifting the kicking toddler out of the tub and into a big fluffy bath towel.

Once he's in a fresh diaper and his pajamas, I carry him into my room. Edward and I had discussed the best way to handle sleeping arrangements, since he doesn't have a portable crib. Did it make more sense for me to stay at his house, so Masen could sleep in his own crib? Or should I put him to sleep in my bed?

We finally settled on Edward bringing over his old playpen last night, along with several soft blankets, and making up a bed inside it. I know Masen is big enough to climb out now, but I'll keep my bedroom door closed and, hopefully, I won't sleep so soundly that I won't hear him if he gets loose in my bedroom.

Since I'm all wet, I change into my pajamas, then head downstairs to relax for a couple of hours before going to bed. I pull out my phone, realizing that I had a text from Edward nearly two hours ago.

 **Made it to Chicago. On the way to my parents' house now. How is Masen?**

 _Your son thought it would be fun to splash me. :P He's asleep now. I hope everything goes well for you tomorrow._

I don't get a reply, but then I wasn't expecting one. Edward has probably gone to bed already, depending on how early court starts tomorrow. I really hope everything goes as expected and the monster who killed Bree goes away for a very long time.

* * *

Masen is sleeping when I get up, but I close my bedroom door just in case while I'm in the shower.

"Da?" Masen asks as I lift him out of his crib after my shower.

"Your daddy will see you tomorrow," I explain. "He had to go away for a few days."

I quickly change his diaper and dress him in one of the outfits Edward packed. After a quick breakfast downstairs, I set Masen on my bed to watch some cartoons while I dry my hair and get myself ready for work.

And then it's off to Alice's mom's house for the day.

School is dismissed at 3:10pm, and I'm back at Carolyn's house shortly after 3:30 to pick up Masen. "How was he?" I ask as he runs toward me.

"Masen is such a smart little boy," she gushes. "I found some old wooden puzzles that I had from when Jackson was a few years younger, so we spent much of the day playing with those while I tried to teach him his letters and numbers. I'm not sure how much he'll absorb at this age, but the early repetition can't hurt."

"It certainly can't," I smile at her. "Thanks again for watching him today. He's mine now until tomorrow evening when Edward gets back."

Once we're home, I let Masen play with some of the toys Edward packed, since he's had a bit of a "learning" day. We play together for a while, then I get up to make us a kid-friendly dish of homemade macaroni and cheese — though I try to hide small pieces of vegetables in there.

After I've got dinner in the oven, I remember that I haven't checked my phone since lunch. I pull it out, breathing a huge sigh of relief at the text from Edward: **50 years**. Bree's killer got 50 years in prison. I don't know enough about Illinois sentencing laws to know if he was eligible for life in prison — Edward said there's no death penalty — but that sounds like a very fair sentence for taking the life of a young woman and her unborn child.

 _Is congratulations the right sentiment?_ I text back.

After dinner — Masen didn't notice the veggies, yay! — I hold him on my lap as we read a couple of his books until it's time to get ready for bed. It's nice, spending this quiet time with him. He snuggles up against my chest just as I've seen him do with his father. It's an amazing feeling to see his trust in me.

Once I've got Masen bathed and asleep in his playpen, I relax on the couch with a glass of wine. As I check my emails, my phone dings with an incoming text: **We're happy with it. How is Masen?**

 _Asleep upstairs. I snuck veggies into his mac and cheese._

 **Why didn't I think of that?**

 _:) How are you doing?_

 **I've been better. Can't wait to be home. Going to bed now.**

 _Good night. See you soon. xo_

As soon as I hit send, I wish I could take that message back. I added "xo" — really? Who do I think I'm talking to, my boyfriend? I bang my forehead into my phone a couple of times, cursing myself for letting my feelings slip, but when a couple of minutes go by with no reply, I start to breathe easier. Maybe he didn't even notice.

* * *

 **A/N** : Lots of quality Bella and Masen time in this one while Edward was away for Bree's killer's sentencing. He got 50 years, which seems fair, no? (In the real life case, one of the men pleaded guilty to robbery/burglary and is awaiting sentencing. The other two men have not been tried yet.)

Moosals thought Bella was overreacting at the end when she freaked out about the "xo" in her text. What do you guys think?

Do the Americans want the next update on **Thursday**? Or is Friday better for you?


	22. Return to Now

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! Most of you voted for Thursday, so here it is! Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 22 – Return to Now_

I'm awakened by a sharp blow to my abdomen. My eyes fly open to find Masen kneeling on my stomach and staring at me.

"Ma?"

Reaching out, I lift him slightly and sit up, waiting until he looks me in the eye. "My name is Bella. Can you say Bella?"

"Ben!"

"No, try again. Bell-la," I enunciate.

"Bewwwwwa."

"Close enough, buddy," I sigh, shaking my head. And then I wrinkle my nose. "What smells? Is that you? Gross!"

I quickly scramble out of bed, holding Masen like a football under one arm. Laying him down on the floor of my bathroom, I undress him then pull off one very stinky diaper. Once I've got him cleaned up with a fresh diaper on, I wash my hands, then peer through the bathroom doorway at my alarm clock: 8:03am. Ugh, way too early to get up on a Saturday, but I guess I have no choice.

Of course, this now begs the question, how do I shower with Masen awake? I have no idea how single parents go about their lives. Clearly the playpen can't contain him. I could close the bathroom door, but the cabinets under my sink aren't baby-proofed. I suppose he could shower _with_ me?

I remove the fresh diaper then bring him into the tub with me, planting him at the far end away from the shower spray while I wash up quickly. He sits on his bare butt, staring with big eyes at the falling water.

"Wah!" he yells, smiling.

"Yes, water! And you can't splash me with it now," I add under my breath.

Once I've finished and dried off, I get Masen and myself dressed for today. I carry him downstairs to the kitchen, then try to figure out what to make for breakfast. Spotting a box of Bisquick in my pantry, I decide to make pancakes; I never have time for anything like that on weekdays. After setting Masen in his high chair to keep him contained, I mix up the batter, then begin spooning it onto a hot griddle. For Masen, I make three mini "silver dollar" pancakes.

I know Masen is going to eat with his fingers, but I still spread a thin layer of butter on his pancakes, before cutting each of them into four pieces. Leaving the plate and his sippy cut full of milk in front of him, I begin fixing my own, adding butter then a generous serving of real maple syrup.

Masen suddenly grunts, pointing toward the bottle. "You want some maple syrup?" I ask. That just doesn't seem like a smart idea. When he reaches for it again, I sigh, standing so that I can pull his shirt over his head. I'm going to have one sticky toddler after this.

I drizzle just a small amount over his plate, unable to keep from smiling at the big grin on his face when he shoves the first piece in his mouth. "We won't tell your daddy I let you have maple syrup, OK?"

Once we've both finished eating, I grab the wet wipes from Masen's diaper bag and thoroughly clean his face, fingers, and chest where he dripped syrup, mentally congratulating myself on thinking to remove his shirt. I redress him, then lift him down from his high chair.

Masen takes off toward the living room like a shot as soon as I've set him down. I follow him in there, smiling when I see he's grabbed the laptop I got him for Christmas. I encourage Masen to sit on the couch with me, then try to show him the laptop's lessons until he gets bored with it.

Next, I try turning on the TV to cartoons, and Masen plants himself in front of the TV. Good, that should give me a chance to throw a load of laundry in the washer. While keeping an eye on him, I attempt to do a little bit of housework.

After I've moved the load of towels to the dryer, I decide to take Masen to the Thriftway with me, despite the cold and drizzle. I need to get the ingredients for dinner with Edward tomorrow. Since this is such a tough week for him, I'm planning to make lasagna — still his favorite after weeks of going through my saved recipes.

I have to sweet talk Masen into letting me put his jacket on, then he insists on walking out to my truck himself. Once I've got him buckled into his car seat, I hop in and buckle my own seat belt. Just as I'm starting the truck, my phone dings with a text.

 **I'm on the plane. Should be on time arrival around 4:30 in Seattle. Hope to be there by 8:30.**

 _Drive safely!_ I text back. _Masen and I are going grocery shopping._

After backing out of my driveway, I drive us the short route to the Thriftway. Holding Masen's hand, I lead him into the store, then set him in the shopping cart's kiddie seat and buckle him in. Funny, I don't remember those things having seat belts when I was a kid!

As we go around the store, Masen smiles and waves at everyone who waves at him. He really is a little flirt, though it doesn't seem like that trait was inherited from his father.

Finally I have everything I need, so I move toward the check-outs. I spot Leah at one of the registers and decide to get in her line. Now that we're going to be stepsisters, I really should make more of an effort to get to know her. I've invited her to come out with us on Thursday nights a handful of times, but early evenings are a busy time at grocery stores and she always seems to be scheduled to work.

"Is that Edward Cullen's son?" someone asks as I'm playing patty-cake with Masen to pass the time.

"Yes," I reply, turning toward the nosy person.

"What are you doing with him?" the woman asks, almost accusingly. She appears to be a few years older than me, with long auburn hair. I don't recognize her from school.

"We're friends. I'm watching Masen while Edward is out of town for a couple of days."

"Hmmm," she frowns, then walks away, leaving me shaking my head.

About 10 seconds later, the conveyor belt moves forward enough that I'm able to start setting my groceries on it.

"Hey, Bella," Leah calls when she's done with her customer. "And Masen."

"Wee!" he yells.

"How's it going?" I smile, once I recover from my initial shock. I guess not _all_ women are "Ma" to him.

"Ugh," she frowns. "It's busy today thanks to the crappy weather; no one can do anything outside." As I walk closer, she leans in, whispering conspiratorially, "I told you the vultures wouldn't like you being close to Edward."

I laugh. "She was a little rude, huh?"

"I didn't catch your answer for why you've got Masen," Leah says as she begins ringing up my groceries.

"Oh, um, Edward had to go back to Chicago for the sentencing of his wife's killer," I reply quietly. "He got 50 years."

"Wow!" she exclaims, her eyes widening. "I hope her family can find peace now."

"Me too," I smile sadly, swiping my debit card. "Edward should be home tonight."

Waving to Leah once I've got my receipt, I wheel the cart out to my truck, hurriedly loading the groceries into the passenger seat so Masen and I don't get too wet. I buckle him in, then return the cart to the corral in the next space over and get back in the truck.

At home, I set Masen in his high chair with a sippy cup of juice while I get everything put away. When we're both done, I flop onto the couch and Masen crawls into my lap for cuddles while I rub his back, holding him close. Every female in town loves him, but I'm the one who gets to cuddle him.

I'm the one he calls Ma, even if that's not the best thing for him to be doing. I mean, yeah, I'd love it if one day I could be his mom for real, but a lot of things would need to happen first before I could get that privilege.

After Masen falls asleep, I slowly shift him onto the couch, covering him with an afghan, then carefully stand up. I empty the dryer then get another load of laundry going in the washer.

Masen seems to have the right idea, so I lie down on the other end of the couch, closing my eyes until I hear the signal that the wash cycle has ended. After throwing that load in the dryer, I fold the towels and put them away upstairs.

Masen wakes up from his nap around 3:30, and as I watch him rub his belly, I realize we never had lunch after our big pancake breakfast. Since I'm pretty hungry too, I decide to order a pizza. Of course, no one in Forks delivers, so I have to get Masen dressed in his coat and buckled in his car seat for the quick trip, then get him out again since I can't leave him in the car, even for a few minutes. I can see how life with a toddler would be a lot easier with two parents.

Once I've got the pizza and small salad back home, I pull a slice out of the box for Masen. I hope he's OK with the Italian sausage, since he ate it on our pizza in Seattle. I also put one forkful of my salad on his plate, just to see if he'll try that. He does, but he kind of wrinkles his nose.

When we're both finished eating, I box up the leftovers, wondering if Edward plans to just grab dinner on the road or if he'll want them. I decide to text him to let him know it's there.

 **Thanks, that sounds good. Just getting in my car now.**

"Daddy will be home in a few hours, Masen." I sit on the floor and play with him until it's time for his evening bath, then get him dressed in his pajamas. I put him down to sleep on my couch while I start packing up all of his things that Edward brought over. I manage to carry the playpen downstairs by myself, but we don't need to take that over tonight.

When Edward texts me that he's home, I let him know that Masen is asleep, so I'll need help carrying everything back to his place. He knocks on my door just a couple of minutes later.

"Hey," he greets me with a small smile, stepping over the threshold. I'm pleased to see that he looks better than he did the last time he returned from Chicago, but I still don't think he shaved today.

"Welcome back. Do you want to eat here or at your place?"

"Home, I think," he says quietly. Nodding, I put the leftovers and my open wine bottle from last night in a plastic bag and slip my arm through the handle, then move into the living room to pick up Masen. Edward can carry the high chair and Masen's bag.

I follow him next door, then he takes Masen from me to put him upstairs in his crib while I turn on the oven to reheat the pizza.

I hear Edward's footsteps as he comes into the kitchen. He heads straight for the fridge to pull out a bottle of beer, then gets a wine glass out of the cabinet, which he sets in front of me. "I assume the wine you brought was for you."

"It was," I nod. "If your oven is like mine, your pizza should be ready in about five minutes."

He nods, sitting heavily in a chair and taking a long sip of his beer.

"Was it as awful as you anticipated?" I ask hesitantly.

"Yeah," he sighs. "I'll tell you about it after dinner."

I nod. "How was your flight?"

"Fine," he shrugs. "I got an exit row so I had more room for my legs."

Once the pizza is ready, Edward practically inhales the first two slices. "Hungry?" I laugh.

He smiles sheepishly. "I didn't eat breakfast and only got a small bite at the airport in Chicago before my flight."

"Why didn't you eat breakfast?" He gives me a look that says "later," and I nod in understanding.

Edward finishes the rest of my pizza, then gets up for another beer, motioning for me to join him in the living room. He sits on the couch, then scrubs his hands over his face.

"I didn't eat breakfast," he begins quietly, "because I was afraid I'd be sick. I went to Bree's grave this morning. I just… wanted to talk to her about some things. And I told her all about how Masen's doing. I know she can't hear me, but it made me feel better at least.

"My parents asked me about flying back in July for the anniversary, but I don't think I can do that," he continues. "So I went to the cemetery on this visit instead. I'm not sure if I'll ever go back to Chicago."

"It's really that awful, huh?" I ask, rubbing his back gently.

"The whole city just feels stifling to me now. As soon as I got off the plane into the airport, I felt it. There were just too many people around."

"Did you have nightmares?"

He nods, finally lifting his head to look at me. "They're always the same: walking into my bedroom to find Bree's body in a pool of blood. I'm sure it didn't help that I had to write all of that down for my statement."

"How-how did it go? Reading your statement in court, I mean."

"You mean how many times did I break down?" he asks wryly. "I got through it. I had to keep going, no matter what. It was the one last thing I could do for Bree, you know? To make sure that her killer pays for his senseless crime."

"You did good, Edward."

He swallows thickly. "I owed it to her."

"Nothing that happened was your fault," I remind him. "Y-you know… please don't take this the wrong way, but… you might be suffering from some type of PTSD," I suggest, remembering what Sue had said. She works as a guidance counselor at the school in LaPush, so I trust her opinion. "You might benefit from talking to someone… professionally, I mean."

"A therapist?" He wrinkles his nose just like his son.

"It's not a sign of weakness to need a little help dealing with life's curveballs. Just think about it, OK?"

Nodding, Edward finishes his beer, then stands. "Want me to bring your bottle?"

"Sure, why not."

Returning in less than a minute, he tops off my glass for me then retakes his seat on the couch. We sit in a comfortable silence for several minutes while I sip my wine and Edward drains his beer. His bottle is empty and he's standing again in what feels like no time at all.

I don't say anything until he comes back with another fresh beer. "Are you trying to get drunk? That doesn't always work out for you," I tease.

"I just need to not think for a while," he answers quietly. "And I… I trust you. To not let me do anything stupid, I mean."

I assume he means anything stupid like… doing me.

Closing his eyes, he leans back until his head is resting on top of the couch. I stare at his lips, and god, I really want to kiss them. But I know I can't. Setting my glass on the end table, I scoot closer and reach my hand up to lightly massage his neck as he continues to drink from his bottle.

"That feels good," he whispers.

A few minutes later, Edward sits up straight, opening his eyes, and my hand falls away. He tears at his hair, and I know something is troubling him. "I should… go up to bed."

"All right," I reply softly, given him a small smile. "Dinner tomorrow? I bought everything for lasagna when Masen and I went to the store today."

"That sounds great," he nods. "Thanks. And thanks for helping me with Masen; you're a lifesaver."

"It was my pleasure. I love that little boy," I smile.

* * *

 **A/N** : So Bella got a little taste of single parenting there. Not having kids myself, I really don't know how parents do it when they're at that age where you need to keep an eye on them!

Bella has suggested therapy to Edward, as many of you have as well, but will he listen to her?

Next update on **Monday**!


	23. All Along the Water

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! If you missed reviewing the last chapter from your phone during Thanksgiving dinner, you can still do so!

Most of you hope Edward agrees to therapy, and a lot of you are calling for Bella to start telling Edward NO and to dating someone else instead of waiting for him.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 23 – All Along the Water_

Two weeks after Edward's return from Chicago, the weather in Forks turns unseasonably warm. When I see that the forecast for Sunday is 80 degrees, I text him to ask if he wants to visit First Beach in LaPush instead of having a cooking lesson at my house.

As soon as I get his agreement on my plan for brunch at the diner and then the beach, I snap into action, heading out to the Thriftway to buy a set of plastic pails so that Masen can make sandcastles. I also pick up a fresh bottle of sunscreen for all of us pale faces, just in case.

After I get home from shopping, I mix up a batch of chocolate chip cookies, because every picnic needs gooey, chocolatey cookies. I'll make up the sandwiches and pasta salad in the morning.

I'm stressed out a bit over what to wear tomorrow. The temperature will be warm, so I'll for sure wear shorts — the fact that I know Edward is a leg man doesn't hurt — but should I bring a bathing suit? The Pacific Ocean is freaking cold this far north, so I certainly don't plan to go swimming. I might make it up to my knees in the water. In the end, I decide it'd be too forward to play on the beach in a bathing suit.

* * *

I get up early on Sunday morning to shower and of course shave my legs. It takes three different tops until I'm satisfied with the way one looks with my khaki shorts. I need to go clothes shopping, if only I had the money to waste on things like that.

Mixing up a couple of quick, kid-friendly dishes for our lunch, I stick them in the refrigerator until just before we're planning to leave for the diner. I put a dozen cookies in a plastic bag, then toss everything I made plus two small bags of chips into a picnic basket.

When Edward knocks, I grab my purse, the basket, and a bag with my beach blanket and other purchases from Thriftway, then swing open the door. "Hi," I smile widely when I see that he's also wearing shorts. I'm glad it won't seem so obvious that I'm trying to entice him.

He looks perplexed for a minute before he bursts out laughing. "We match!"

I chuckle along with him once I realize. Edward is wearing a white polo shirt with khaki shorts, while my white top has a bit of a lacy overlay, but is similar enough.

Masen lunges toward me from his father's arms after I've closed the door and locked up, but I can't take him with my hands full. Setting the picnic basket and beach bag in the back seat of Edward's SUV, I hop in and buckle up while he gets Masen settled.

"What did you make?" Edward asks, nodding toward the back seat.

"You'll find out later! We haven't even had brunch yet."

"Are you sure it'll keep until later this afternoon?"

"I'm sure," I nod. "The basket is insulated."

We of course reach the diner in no time at all. I can't help but puff up my chest a little to walk in next to Edward while he carries his son. The diner is pretty busy, as I expected, but we manage to find a table for two where we can pull over a high chair for Masen.

I laugh when I finally get a good look at Masen's t-shirt. "If you think I'm cute, you should see my Daddy," I read, grinning at Edward.

"My brother got him that," he replies wryly.

"Emmett?"

"You guessed it."

After we've ordered, Edward bites his lip, looking up at me. "So, um… I took your advice."

"Which advice?" I ask, confused.

"To find a therapist," he replies quietly. "I had my first session this week."

"How do it go?" I ask eagerly.

"I think… it went well. I took the crumpled up copy of my victim impact statement so I didn't have to tell the story again. Kind of wimping out, but…" he trails off, shrugging. "We mostly just talked about what I hope to get out of therapy."

"I assume you had to go to Port Angeles?" I'm not aware of any therapists located in Forks.

He nods. "Carolyn watched Masen for me."

"I'm really glad you took that step. Not that I think you're crazy or anything," I quickly add. "I just hate it when I hear you blaming yourself for what happened."

"That's something we'll be working on," he confirms.

"I can't believe you actually listened to me," I chuckle.

"Well… my family had suggested the same. You're the one who put me over the edge though," he grins.

We decide not order anything separate for Masen, since the breakfast meals here are always more than I can eat. When our food is delivered, I slide one of the silver dollar pancakes onto a separate plate we requested for Masen, along with a piece of my omelet and some hash browns.

"Uuuhhhh!" Masen grunts as he sees me pouring maple syrup onto my two remaining pancakes.

"Can I give him some?" I ask Edward, who nods his approval since he's busy inhaling his French toast. I only drizzle on a small amount, but hopefully it's enough to keep Masen happy.

Once we're finished and Edward has taken care of the check, Edward takes Masen into the bathroom to change his diaper before we head out to the car.

"I can't believe you haven't been to see the ocean yet!" I exclaim in surprise as I point out the turn onto LaPush Road.

Edward shrugs. "I wasn't in the mood when I first moved out here, and then the weather turned colder. Do you come here a lot?"

"Honestly, no," I admit. "I came more often when I was younger. My dad has a good friend who lives in LaPush. He'd bring me along when he visited Billy, and I'd sometimes come down to the beach with Billy's son, Jacob. We were forbidden from going in the water alone, but they didn't mind if we hung out on the beach collecting sea shells or wading through tide pools."

"Where is this Jacob now?" he asks, almost sounding jealous. Or maybe it's just my imagination.

"Still here," I shrug. "He's a mechanic at the garage in Forks. Jacob is actually the one who fixed up his dad's old truck so _my_ dad could give it to me for my 16th birthday."

"So that's where you got that old thing!" he laughs.

"Hey," I whine, pretending to be wounded. "I like my truck. Even if its better days were decades ago."

"Were you and Jacob ever… more than friends?" Edward asks, peering over at me.

"Oh no," I laugh. "He was two years younger than me and kind of a pest."

"He used to put frogs in your book bag?" Edward asks with a grin.

"More like put bugs down my shirt." I shudder just thinking about it.

When we arrive, I point out the nearest parking area to First Beach. We decide to leave the picnic basket locked up in the truck for now, but I grab the beach bag out of the back seat. With each of us holding one of Masen's hands, we walk down onto the sand.

"This is amazing," Edward says in awe, staring out at the Pacific Ocean.

"And it's much colder than it looks — just warning you."

"I believe you," he laughs.

We find a large piece of driftwood where we can sit down, and I pull the sunscreen out of the bag, spreading it on Masen before covering myself. Edward borrows the bottle as well, since he's as pale as I am.

I surprise Masen then by pulling out the sand bucket set that I bought. "Remember these from the park in Bellevue?" I ask him.

"That's really cool, thanks, Bella!" Edward says, getting down on his knees on the sand. We make a huge sandcastle with Masen until he seems bored with the entire thing and a little antsy. We can't let him run loose, but we do take a walk down the beach with him.

"Wah!" he yells, pointing at the water.

"It's cold, buddy," Edward laughs.

"Wah!" he insists.

"Well, we can always prove it to him," I suggest, bending over to take off my sandals. Edward removes Masen's shoes and socks, and then I lead him by the hand closer to the surf. The next wave gets within inches of our feet, so I take another step closer.

The next one is a little larger, and before I can take a step back, it's hitting my calves nearly up to my knees. Masen squeals, and I have to hold onto his fingers tightly to keep him from running away. Picking him up, I carry him back to Edward, who's laughing at both of us.

Edward carries his son until his feet dry off, then sits down to puts his shoes and socks back on him. We spend the rest of the afternoon playing and exploring. The weather is perfect and it's just a really fun day.

When we start getting hungry, Edward offers to walk back to the car to get the picnic basket while I spread out the blanket. Reaching into the diaper bag, I pull out Masen's sippy cup and the wet wipes to clean his hands before we start eating.

"So what have we got?" Edward asks, setting the basket down and reaching to open it.

"Patience!" I laugh, slapping his hand away. I open it myself, taking out two bottles of water, along with paper plates and those little packages of plastic silverware that I once pilfered from somewhere.

"These are chicken pesto sandwiches," I announce, pulling out the foil-wrapped items. I made up a smaller one for Masen. "We also have chips and pasta salad," I add, setting a Tupperware container on each plate, "and chocolate chip cookies for dessert. No eating the cookies first and spoiling your meal!"

"Yes, Ma'am," Edward grins, taking a big bite of his sandwich. Since he's busy stuffing his face, I open my utensils and cut up Masen's sandwich into small bites, then open his pasta salad.

"This is good," Edward mumbles, his mouth full of food.

"I also have the other half of Masen's sandwich in here if you want it," I smile.

"You're a smart girl," he winks.

Only once we've all finished our meals do I take out the plastic bag filled with cookies, giving each of us one to start with. Well, I imagine Edward won't let Masen have more than one if he wants him to sleep tonight.

"Mmmm…" Edward closes his eyes as he chews, looking positively orgasmic. It's enough to make a girl rub her thighs together. No sex in seven months, remember?

"OK, I need another," he says, reaching into the bag.

While I'm drooling over his father, Masen is suddenly up and running down the beach.

"Masen!" Edward yells, scrambling to his feet. I'm up nearly as quickly, catching up to both of them as Masen stands pointing under a large piece of driftwood. "You can't run away like that, buddy," he says, kneeling down and pulling Masen close.

Masen grunts, pointing again. "Is something back there?" I ask, getting down on my knees to look. I realize too late that I'm more or less ass up. Peering into the shadows, I think I see something move, causing me to jump back.

Growing up around here, I'm not really afraid of small creatures… except snakes. I hate snakes. But I don't think Masen would've chased a snake down the beach. I carefully reach my hand into where I saw the movement, feeling something soft and furry. Curling my hand around whatever it is, I pull it out, then stare into the frightened face of a tiny kitten, nearly the color of the sand.

I get to my feet, cuddling the kitten close as I show it to Masen. "Is this what you wanted?"

He reaches out, but Edward stops him. "Be very gentle," he advises, showing him how to pet the kitten with one finger. Masen grins widely as he touches the soft fur.

"Maybe we should take it to a shelter," Edward suggests, making me laugh out loud.

"This isn't Chicago; there are no shelters in Forks."

"What do we do with it then? Leave it here?"

I rub the kitty's chin, staring into its pretty golden eyes. "We take it home," I shrug. "Alice had a cat when we were growing up, but my dad was allergic, so I could never get one."

"Do you actually have any supplies for a cat?" Edward asks skeptically.

"No, that's why we're stopping at the Thirftway on the way back," I laugh, heading back to our picnic site with the kitten.

Edward starts packing things up while I make sure my new pet doesn't escape. It would be really nice to have a pet carrier, but all I've got is a picnic basket with no air holes and a beach bag, and it'll probably jump out of that.

The little furball falls asleep on my lap on the way back to town, which means Edward has to run in for basic supplies while I stay in the car with Masen and the kitten. When we get home, we all go into my house, setting up the litter box in the half bath. I fix a bowl of kitten food and place it on my kitchen floor on a placemat, along with a bowl of water, and the kitten scarfs it down.

"She must be starving."

"She?" Edward questions as Masen peers down at the kitten in awe. "I thought orange cats were usually male?"

"Not that I'm an expert, but…I didn't see anything that _looked_ male when I flipped it over." I need to get a vet appointment to find out for sure; plus, she probably needs her shots. Ugh, all of that sounds expensive.

"OK," he chuckles, "so what are you going to name her?"

"Sandy," I announce. Both for where she was found _and_ her color.

Once Sandy has finished her meal, I encourage her to follow us into the living room. Edward also picked up a carrier and a cat bed for her, which I place on the floor in the corner.

"I'll pay you back when I go to the ATM, all right?" I ask, following Masen's lead in getting down on the floor with Sandy.

"You can just give me half," he suggests. "I imagine Masen will be over playing with her pretty often."

"Thank you. Masen, don't pull her tail, honey. Always be very gentle with kitty," I warn.

"Kitty!" he yells and the cat scampers away.

"And also don't yell right in her face," I laugh, encouraging Sandy to come closer for a few head scratches. Edward didn't pick up any toys for her, but she really has a thing for his shoelaces as we sit and play with her.

"What am I gonna do with you all day while I'm at school, huh?" I muse. I think Sandy is at least a couple of months old, but I don't want her destroying my house if she's too young to be left alone.

"When is your last day of school?" Edward asks.

"June 19."

"That late?" he asks, brow furrowed. "I thought I saw signs up for graduation earlier than that."

I nod. "Graduation is the 10th, but non-seniors have to go longer."

"Oh," he frowns. "My publishers were asking about another book signing tour next month — in California."

* * *

 **A/N** : Another fun day out for the three of them! The weather really was super warm in Forks over Memorial Day weekend.

So Edward did find a therapist, Bella found a new pet, and now Edward's publishers have another book signing tour planned. I imagine a good chunk of you hope she turns him down this time?

Next update on **Thursday**!


	24. Sound of Thunder

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! More readers than I expected want Bella to go along with Edward on the second book signing tour, though some do think she should tell him no this time.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 24 – Sound of Thunder_

"Another book signing tour?" I repeat.

"Yeah," he smiles. "My book has been selling really well and is slowly climbing the _New York Times'_ Top 20, but my publishers think that getting exposure in some of the larger cities in California will boost its profile even more. If some of the LA book bloggers come to the signing, for example."

"That's great, Edward!" I smile widely. "Everyone is starting to see how talented you are." I really enjoyed both of his books.

"Not sure I'd go that far," he replies modestly, "but it's a great feeling. Anyway, California is a huge state and the bigger cities are so spread out that the tour could be up to a week. I-I was hoping you'd be able to come along again. They were looking at two to three weeks from now, but we can schedule it after you're done with school."

As he speaks, I just get this sinking feeling. It's not that I don't want to spend a week of uninterrupted time with Edward and Masen, and it's not that I want to leave Edward alone with _Jane_ , but… I'm afraid that I'd end the week with my heart in tatters. I try to stay as detached as I can during our weekly dinners, chanting "we're just friends, he's not ready" over and over in my head. But this is different. In less than three days last month, I knew I was irrevocably falling for Edward. What would happen to me after a _week_?

I can't tell Edward that though. God, he'd probably freak.

And then I remember that I have a legitimate reason to turn him down. "An-Angela!" I nearly yell once the thought has crossed my mind. "She's due June 24," I remind him. "I'm sorry, but… I need to be here when my best friend's baby is born. Everyone says first babies are often late, but who knows?" I shrug, trying for nonchalance.

"Masen was born six days after his due date," Edward replies with a small smile, reaching out to ruffle his son's hair as Masen gently pets Sandy. "I guess… we could schedule the trip once we know for sure when you're available. They wanted to do it in June to get it in before the July Fourth holiday, and… I imagine I'll be good for nothing that week anyway," he adds quietly.

"If your publishers feel you should do it sooner rather than later, then… don't wait for me. I bet your mom would be happy to help you."

"She probably would," he allows, "but I'm asking _you_. Masen obviously adores you, and… I enjoy your company, too. I'd like you to come with me, Bella."

Ugh, he isn't playing fair, pleading like that with those gorgeous green eyes.

I'd thought there was nothing I wouldn't do for Edward, but at some point my sense of self-preservation needs to kick in.

"What's wrong, Bella?"

Frowning, I get to my feet, then sit heavily on the couch. I don't want to tell him the truth. I have no idea how he'll react. Telling him that I want to be _more_ than friends might mean the end of… being friends.

"Bella?"

"I can't go with you, Edward. Who would watch Sandy for a _week_?"

"Didn't you say Alice had a cat when you were growing up? Couldn't she or her mom watch the kitten?"

"Maybe, but… I-I work at the bakery in the summers."

"Surely they'd let you have a week off for vacation." He looks so confused, which just makes me feel even worse for throwing one bullshit excuse at him after another. "Why do I feel like there's something I'm missing?"

"Trust me," I whisper, "you really don't want to know."

"Bella…" he sighs. He looks so hurt that I won't talk to him. I can't stand that look on his face.

"I like you," I blurt out before I can stop myself.

"I like you, too," he replies, the confusion evident in his voice.

"I mean… I _like_ you," I repeat, feeling like I'm back in middle school.

All of the color drains from Edward's face, and I know that he understood me.

"Bella—"

"I know you're not ready for that," I interrupt him before he can tell me just that. "I didn't tell you to push you in any way, all right? Just… it's hard for me. To care so much about you and Masen. Every moment that I spend with you makes it just that little bit harder for me to pretend like I don't care. To go away with you for a whole week…" I trail off, shaking my head.

"I have to protect my heart," I whisper, tears pricking at my eyes. "And I know that's not fair to either of you, but…"

"Jesus, Bella," he cries, getting to his feet. Masen looks up at him in confusion until Sandy head-butts his hand, asking for more pets.

Edward paces back and forth across the room a few times before stopping in front of me. "You knew I'd recently lost my wife. You knew I was still grieving."

"It's not like it's something I could control!" I exclaim. "Initially I just thought you were hot, like every other woman in Forks, but then… then you started to let me in, to let me see the real you, and… I couldn't help myself. The last trip we took I found myself wanting to do so much for you… things a friend shouldn't want," I clarify. "I didn't mean to fall," I add softly, tears running down my cheeks.

"I don't know what else I can say except that I'm sorry," I continue. "I don't want to lose our friendship, I don't want to _not_ spend time with Masen, but I can't let myself get in any deeper."

Edward buries his face in his hands. "It's too soon," he cries, lifting his hands. "I can't do this. I can't…"

"I understand that, Edward! I promise you I'm not saying any of this to try to push you into something you aren't ready for. I know you need more time, and I was prepared to wait it out, but… "

"But what?" he prompts.

"But I can't wait forever, not when you seem so far away from moving on whenever the topic comes up. And… if I'm being honest with myself, there's no guarantee that you'd ever pick me over any other woman. I'm just hurting myself by allowing myself to get closer and closer to you and Masen."

"What about hurting us?" Shit, he _already_ sounds hurt.

"I don't want to hurt either of you," I stress. "I don't want to end our friendship, for you to disappear and not talk to me for weeks. But I have to keep some kind of distance before I end up with a broken heart. Maybe that's selfish of me, but…" I stop, wiping at my tears.

Turning around, Edward picks up his son, despite his protests. "I need some time, Bella. I think it's best for us to go home. My head is spinning, and…" he pauses, shaking his head. "I-I get that you didn't do it on purpose. I don't blame you, OK?"

"Come on, buddy," he says to his son when I don't respond.

I watch them walk out of the room, listening for the sound of the front door closing. And then I allow myself to break down. I did it. I confessed my feelings to Edward. He wasn't receptive to them, but… he actually took it better than I expected him to. I don't know if that's a good sign, or if his reaction was muted due to Masen's presence.

Lying down on the couch, I continue to cry, until I hear a scratching noise. I look up to see Sandy staring at me, having apparently climbed the couch. I reach out to rub her head, smiling at her soft purrs. With a little encouragement, she lies down beside me, letting me pet her over and over again. Animals are so intuitive; how did she know that this was exactly what I needed?

After some time, Sandy rolls to her back for some belly rubs and I see something moving on her belly! "What the—? Ugh, you have fleas!"

Forgetting about my own issues, I quickly put her down on the floor, then sit down at my computer to Google how to get rid of fleas. A bath in dishwashing soap seems to be in order. Since she's not very large, I carry Sandy into the half bath, scrubbing her in the sink despite her very vocal protests. When I have all of the soap rinsed out, I dry her with the nearby hand towel.

Sandy gives me a look of betrayal as I dry her pretty fur. Once I think she's dry enough, I set her on the toilet lid and slip out of the bathroom, closing the door behind me. I run the vacuum throughout the kitchen and living room — wherever she's been — including using the hose attachment on the couch until I hope that all traces of the fleas are gone.

Putting the vacuum away once I've emptied the bag outside, l lean against the wall, shaking my head at how this day turned out. It was perfect, absolutely perfect — even coming home with a new pet — and then it all went to shit. I grab my phone to text Alice, then stop as I run through Edward's and my conversation in my head.

He said he needed time; he didn't say no.

* * *

The following day is Memorial Day, when my dad always has a big barbecue in his backyard for all of his friends and fellow cops. His own father served in the Korean War, and so he has never passed up a chance to honor our military.

Most of the time I wish I had a house with a more open-concept floor plan, but it's nice that I can just put all of Sandy's things in the kitchen and close the door. I'm not comfortable with letting her have the run of the whole house yet.

When I get to my dad's, I'm still in a bit of a mood over what happened with Edward, but I try to push it aside and have a good time. Dad is so busy hosting that he doesn't notice my reticence, but Sue notices and confronts me.

"Man troubles," I admit.

"Oh!" she exclaims, raising her eyebrows. "I didn't know you were dating anyone."

"I'm not, but… I'd like to be."

"And he doesn't feel the same?" she asks sympathetically.

"He… isn't in a position to feel the same."

"He's not… married?!" she gasps.

"Oh no, nothing like that," I assure her. "But he's still getting over his last relationship. I finally told him last night how I feel, and now I guess I can't do anything but wait."

"Well, if he's got any brains in his head, he'll jump at the chance to be with you," she smiles, wrapping one arm around my back.

I give Sue a small smile in return, hoping she's right.

* * *

On Tuesday, I make a call over my lunch hour to the one veterinarian in Forks about getting an appointment for Sandy. I rush home after school to collect her, forcing her into the pet carrier that Edward bought, then drive to the vet clinic.

"Good afternoon," the vet greets me, leading us back to a room. "What have we got here?"

"I picked up this kitten at First Beach on Sunday," I explain. "She's a couple months old, maybe? I assume she needs her shots. And for you to confirm that she's actually a girl."

"Well, let's take a look," she smiles, open the front door of the carrier and coaxing Sandy out. "Oh, she's beautiful. And yes, definitely a girl."

"What do you call her color?" I ask curiously. "It's such a pale orange, almost like the color of the sand."

"We call this color 'buff'," she explains, setting Sandy on the scale. "Two pounds, seven ounces. I'd put her age at around nine weeks."

After a thorough examination, Sandy gets one shot today, plus a dose of flea medicine, just in case her bath didn't kill all of them. I need to bring her in again in three weeks for more shots.

On my way out, the assistant at the desk gives me a list of some of their favorite products for cats — toys, cat trees, etc. — that I can buy online at much better prices than the Thriftway or any of the larger pet stores in Port Angeles. I thank them profusely.

Once we're home, I sit on the couch, pulling out my phone as Sandy climbs into my lap. I'm disappointed to see that I still haven't heard from Edward, but I won't push him.

* * *

As I leave to go meet the girls two days later, I'm still waiting for any kind of response from Edward. I'm looking forward to getting their outsiders' insights into our situation.

I get out of my truck at almost the same time as Angela exits her car, though I'm a lot more graceful. She looks ready to pop at any time, despite her due date being just over three weeks away. I hug her, and then we walk in together to find Alice already waiting.

"Any update from your doctor?" I ask Angela once we've sat down. She has weekly appointments now that she's getting so close.

"No signs of labor yet. I just need her to hang on another couple of weeks until school is out."

"Fingers crossed for you," I smile.

"So what's new in your life, Swan?" Alice asks.

Smiling, I pull out my phone and show them one of the dozens of photos I've taken of Sandy since Sunday.

"You got a cat?!" she exclaims.

"Introducing Sandy," I smile. "She's only about nine weeks old, according to the vet."

"Sandy?" Angela questions. "Like in _Grease_?"

"No, I found her on First Beach when I went last weekend with Edward and Masen."

"Ooohhh…" Alice makes me laugh as she waggles her eyebrows.

"Don't get too excited. We had a great day, but then later he asked me about coming along on another book tour, this time to California."

"That's great!" Angela smiles. "He must really trust his son with you."

"No, it's not great. I mean yeah, it's great that he trusts me. But I can't spend a whole week away with Edward and Masen and then come back and… I don't know, wait years for him to be ready to date only to have him tell me he wants some woman he met at the grocery store. I can't let my feelings for him get any stronger than they already are without ending up heartbroken."

"So you turned him down?" Alice asks, eyes wide. "What about Jane the Pain?"

I nod. "Gave him every excuse I could think of before I finally told him the truth. And before you ask, he took it… maybe not as badly as I'd have expected, but… he left with Masen and I haven't heard from him since. He said he needed time, and I'm trying to give it to him. As for Jane… I figure if Edward isn't ready for anything with _me_ , he wouldn't fall prey to her charms either.

"Am I doing the right thing?" I ask hesitantly. "I feel like… I don't know… is it fair for me to say I'll be his friend but still keep my distance? It's not his fault I developed feelings for him."

"Is it fair of him to treat you like a good friend and freak out at the thought of more?" Alice asks. "What you guys are doing is so close to dating anyway! Subtract a little Masen and add a little kissing and touching at the end of the night, and you're there!"

"I don't think he sees it that way," I chuckle sadly.

* * *

 **A/N** : So, Bella did decide that this second book tour was one favor too many, and her self-preservation needs to kick in. The cat's out of the bag now (haha) and Edward didn't take it all that well. And now he's ignoring her again, though it's only been four days. I imagine some of you want to junk punch him.

FF was being a pain and reviews were not showing up online since Tuesday night, but that seems to have resolved overnight. Hopefully it'll behave today.

Next update on **Monday**!


	25. You Kill Me with Silence

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! The previous chapter is current tied for the most reviews (with #5 and #20).

While some of you were upset with Edward (or Bella), most readers understood why Bella said no and why Edward reacted the way he did.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 25 – You Kill Me with Silence_

When I still haven't heard from Edward by Saturday morning, I text him under the pretense that I'm heading out to the Thriftway and need to know if I should pick up the ingredients for a Sunday dinner.

I wait on pins and needles for a reply, nearly jumping out of my skin when my phone dings with an incoming message.

 **No. I'm sorry. I need more time.**

"I guess it's dinner for one then," I mutter to myself.

I force myself to go shopping anyway, refusing to stay home and mope. List in hand, I grab a basket and make my way around the store. When I've found everything on my list, I decide to get in Leah's check-out line again.

"Hi, Bella," she smiles as I place my items on the conveyor belt.

"How's it going?"

"Can't complain," she shrugs. "Say, are you busy tomorrow afternoon?"

"No," I answer glumly. "Why?"

"Seth has been driving Mom nuts asking her to bring him over to see your new kitten ever since you showed us pictures last Monday," she says, rolling her eyes. "You know Mom, she doesn't want to impose."

"Doesn't Seth have a license?" I ask, confused as to why my 17-year-old future stepbrother would need Sue or Leah to bring him to my house.

"He does, but he lost his car privileges for a month when Mom found out he'd been drinking at a beach party during that week it was so warm."

"Oh," I chuckle. "Well, feel free to come over whenever. We'll be home."

"Sounds good," she smiles as I swipe my debit card. "We'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

It's around 4pm on Sunday when my doorbell rings. Swinging the door open, I can't help but notice that Edward's car isn't in his driveway. Where the heck could he be?

"Come on in, guys." I try to shake off the bad feeling as they step inside. "I heard you're a cat lover, Seth," I tease him.

"I love all animals," he replies as they follow me into the living room. "I'd really like go to veterinary school, but first I need to earn a scholarship to get a Bachelor's degree."

"Well, good luck. I know some people you can talk to about that at Forks High."

"Really?" he smiles. "That's be awesome! Thanks, Bella."

Sandy is curled up in a sunny spot on the back of the couch. I hate to disturb her, but she has visitors, so I scratch her neck until she lifts her head, yawning. I gently pick her up, then hand her to Seth as he takes a seat on the couch.

"She is adorable," Leah coos. "You said you found her at First Beach?"

"Yeah, I picked her up a week ago."

"Seth, maybe you should go down and look for her mama or any siblings. Mom might let you have a kitten of your own."

"That's a good idea," he nods, stroking her back.

"My dad is allergic," I warn. "Once you guys move in with him, any kitten you find will either have to stay in your room or outside. I always had to be satisfied with playing with Alice's cat."

"Oh," he frowns unhappily.

"How did you happen to spot her?" Leah asks. "She looks like she'd blend right in with the sand."

"It was actually Masen who spotted her first," I explain. "I was at First Beach with Edward and his son when Masen suddenly took off running down the beach! We chased after him and he kept pointing at something under a piece of driftwood."

"I can't stand most kids, as you know, but that little boy is _so_ cute," she says with a smile. "They came through my line yesterday, a few hours after you."

"Oh?" What if Edward waited until he saw my truck back at home before going shopping, so he didn't run into me? That can't be a good sign.

She nods. "I saw him talking with Lauren's sister."

"Jessica?" I ask, my voice rising. After the way she gave me shit about Edward?

"It's not that I was trying to eavesdrop, but Jessica has kind of a loud voice," Leah laughs.

"Yeah, I know what you mean," I reply, trying like heck to act like I'm not dying to know what they were talking about.

"My turn, Squirt," Leah says, turning to her brother. He wrinkles his nose, but passes Sandy over to her. "Oh, you like my hands, huh? I swear I washed them after work today." I smile as Sandy chews on Leah's finger.

"Anyway, Masen was upset because Edward wouldn't let him have something from one of the display racks near the register. Jessica was behind them in line and gave Masen her keys to play with to calm him down. She and Edward were talking and I heard her volunteer to show him around Forks sometime."

"That'll take 15 minutes," Seth laughs.

"I know, right?" Leah shakes her head. "I guess she thought she'd have more luck with him if she didn't frame it as a date."

"Wh-what did he say?" I ask, holding my breath.

Leah smiles. "Unfortunately, he isn't as loud as Jessica, so I didn't hear his response, but she looked pretty disappointed. I assume he turned her down. He's a tough nut to crack, isn't he?"

"Edward is still grieving his late wife," I explain.

"She must've been some woman," Leah comments.

I frown. By all accounts, Bree was an amazing person — not to mention beautiful and accomplished. And now that she's dead, Edward has put her on a pedestal, like Jasper said. How could I ever hope to measure up to that?

* * *

After work on Tuesday, I visit Jacob at the garage to get new windshield wiper blades for my truck. He texted me earlier that the pair we'd ordered last week — he has to special order them — had come in.

"You know it's gonna be time soon to let me have your old girl for a few days so I can give her a full check-up," he says as Embry, one of the other garage employees, installs the new wiper blades.

"School will be out in two more weeks; you can probably have her sometime after that." Jacob always gives me a huge discount on the yearly checks since he's the one who restored the truck for my 16th birthday almost 10 years ago.

"And when can I have a date with you?" he asks, white teeth gleaming in the fluorescent lighting of the garage. I roll my eyes. We've been playing this game nearly as long.

"Ah, Bella, you wound me," he whines, hand on his chest. "Am I really worse than being perpetually single?"

"You really want me to answer that?" I grin.

Jacob laughs. "Hey, your neighbor was in today."

"Which neighbor?"

"Edward Cullen. According to his address, he lives right next door."

"Oh," I exclaim in surprise. "Yeah, he bought Mrs. Cope's old house last summer. What was he doing here?"

"Oil change," he shrugs. "Doesn't seem to like me very much. Weird, he's been in here before, but this time he seemed like he was constantly glaring at me."

"That doesn't really sound like Edward. What did you say to him?"

"Hey, I am Mr. Innocent!" he retorts, his hands up in surrender. I raise an eyebrow. "I… may have mentioned that we're old friends."

"And…?"

"And that I was waiting for the day you realize you're head over heels for me," he adds sheepishly.

I narrow my eyes. It's been a running joke between Jacob and me that we'll end up dating one day. With our dads being best friends, they often hinted at wanting that for us when we were teenagers. Jacob was two years younger than me though, which means there was at least five or six years of difference in mental age. At least he'd finally grown taller than me by the time I was 16, but by that time, I was usually hanging out with my friends rather than being dragged along to LaPush with Dad.

It's not that there's anything _wrong_ with 23-year-old Jacob, per se. He's pretty much the epitome of tall, dark and handsome — even I can admit that. Perhaps if I hadn't known him as a child, if I didn't have those memories in my brain, I'd be interested in dating him.

But I did, I do, and I'm not.

The real question is, though, why should Jacob's joking around bother Edward so much? When we drove to the beach, he seemed almost jealous when I just casually mentioned Jacob. Is that why he was glaring at Jacob last week? Out of _jealousy_?

What does it mean if Edward is jealous of another man paying attention to me — however in jest that might be? Could he be interested himself? I feel like there's some physical attraction there, but could it be more than that?

"Bella!" Jacob yells, startling me. "Where did you go?"

"S-sorry, I was just trying to figure out why Edward would act like that."

"Do you know him well? I honestly don't know much about him other than he's got the kid that he had with him. I don't think I've ever seen his wife come in here."

"His wife died last summer," I explain, "before he moved to Forks."

"Oh! Shit. That sucks."

"Yeah. Edward mostly keeps to himself, but we're friends. I've helped him out with his son on occasion." I know I'm downplaying our relationship, but I don't feel like giving any more personal details to Jacob.

"Does he have a job?" Jacob asks. "He came by here in the middle of the afternoon. I would've asked him, but he didn't seem interested in chatting."

"He's a writer, so he works from home."

"Ah," he nods his head, "that makes sense."

"You're all set, Bella," Embry calls, walking over to where Jacob and I are standing.

"Thanks," I smile. Jacob rings me up and I wave as I walk outside to my truck.

* * *

Two more days pass with still no word from Edward, and it's again time for my dinner out with Alice and Angela. I imagine they'll both be ready to rip him a new one when they find out that I still haven't heard from him.

Both of my friends are already seated at the table when I walk into the diner. I put on a fake smile as I walk over to them.

"Well?" Alice asks as I pull out a chair. "Do I need to send Jasper to do some ass kicking?"

I sigh. "I haven't heard from Edward — wait, that's a lie. I sent him a text on Saturday and he did reply, at least."

"What did he say?" Angela asks.

"I asked him about dinner on Sunday and he said sorry, but he needed more time."

"Time for what, exactly?" she asks.

I shrug. "Your guess is as good as mine. Time to figure out if he ever wants to talk to me again knowing that I have feelings for him?"

Both girls frown as the waitress drops off our drinks. We place our orders, and then Alice steeples her fingers, appearing as if she's thinking hard.

"Maybe he needs time to come to terms with being attracted to someone other than his late wife," she suggests.

"That… could be," I agree. "I mean, I do think he's physically attracted to me… and he might be jealous of Jacob."

Alice bursts out laughing.

"I know, right? I just happened to mention hanging out at First Beach with him when we were kids, and he wondered if we'f ever dated. I said no, but when I saw Jacob this week, he told me that Edward brought his car in for an oil change last week and was glaring at him. You know how he always says I'm gonna fall at his feet any day now." I roll my eyes.

"If only he knew what a twerp Jacob was 10 years ago," she laughs.

"But what other explanation could there be? I doubt Jacob could've done anything to piss him off while changing his oil. If it wasn't about me, then why act like that?"

"Seems reasonable to me," Angela says with a smile. "Edward appears to be interested in you, but he has to convince himself that that's not wrong."

"It's more than that though," I grumble. "Even when the time comes that he feels like he's ready to move on, he's got Bree on this pedestal. I'm sure she was a wonderful person, but in death, she's almost taken on this saintly quality. No mortal woman could live up to that."

"Don't sell yourself short," Alice says with a frown. "I think you're pretty great."

"You have to say that. You've been my best friend for over 20 years."

She rolls her eyes. "That doesn't make it any less true. You're a great catch, Swan! I understand what you're saying, that any woman may compare unfavorably to Bree in Edward's mind. But there's really nothing you can do about that except be yourself. The memory of Bree may be your toughest competition, but it's still just her memory. She's not coming back. And a ghost won't keep him warm at night."

I give Alice a small smile. "I think we're getting ahead of ourselves."

* * *

Friday, still not a peep from Edward. After dinner, I spend the evening relaxing, watching TV with a glass of wine in my hand and a fluffy kitten on my lap. I stroke her soft fur and listen to her purrs, surprisingly loud for such a tiny thing.

When my phone dings with a new text message, I almost don't get up to check it, since we're so comfortable. It's probably just Alice, who said she wanted to come over sometime to meet Sandy. But what if it's Edward?

"Sorry to disturb you, baby," I whisper, setting her carefully beside me on the couch. I get up to retrieve my phone from the side of my purse and hit the power button.

 **Can you come over? – E**

As I stand staring at the screen, another message arrives: **Please.**

* * *

 **A/N** : After 12 days, Edward has finally reached out to Bella. Should she go see what he wants?

Sorry for no actual Edward in this chapter, but we know he (apparently) turned down an invite from Jessica and seemed once again to be jealous of Jacob. And hey, we've met Jacob, finally!

Do you agree with Bella's friends' assessment of the situation?

Next update on **Thursday**!


	26. Read My Lips

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! Quite a reaction to the last chapter again! Sorry/not-sorry about the cliffie.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 26 – Read My Lips_

I continue to stare at my phone, hoping that I haven't totally lost my mind and that Edward's text messages say what I think they do.

He wants to see me. That's… good, right? Or could it be bad?

Aaarrggghhh! I'm going to make myself crazy. There's really only one way to find out.

 _I'll be over_ , I text back. Looking at Sandy asleep on my couch, I decide that I can probably leave her alone for a short while.

Stepping outside, I close and lock the door, since I don't know how long I'll be gone. I walk over to Edward's house and climb his steps, then knock on the door. I don't ring the doorbell since it's after 9pm; I'm sure Masen is asleep.

When the door swings open, I can only stand and stare at Edward. He has a few days' growth of beard and a t-shirt that shows off the definition in his body. _Not helping yourself, Bella._

"Come on in," he says quietly, stepping backward as he opens the door wider. "Thank you… for coming. I wouldn't blame you if you hadn't. Um, do you want a drink? Some water?"

"Water would be great, thanks."

Cold bottle in hand, I follow Edward into the living room, where he points me toward the couch, yet remains standing. I take a sip of my drink, then look up at him expectantly.

"Um, I won't pretend that your confession didn't throw me for a loop," he begins. I see we're not beating around the bush.

"I know you said something months ago about… wanting our night together to be real." He pauses, swallowing thickly. "I guess it shouldn't have surprised me. Maybe I just didn't want to see it."

Edward seems like he has more to say, so I remain silent, watching him.

"My therapist and I talked about what you'd said and what I thought about it — and you. He kept asking me, over and over, as if he didn't like my answers. He thought I wasn't being honest."

"With him?" I ask, confused.

He shakes his head. "With myself." Sighing, he sits beside me on the couch, and I turn so that I can look at him. "I never looked at you as… a woman, I guess, until after that night we slept together. I've never lied to you, exactly, but I remember more than I've let on."

"What do you mean?" I whisper, my heartrate picking up.

"I remember kissing you. I remember the _feel_ of you. Af-after that night, I needed to stay away from you. I felt this spark, this attraction… for someone other than Bree. And the guilt nearly killed me. But I learned to push it down, to ignore it. It was the only way I could resume our friendship."

It's nice to have Edward confirm what I'd already suspected. "So… you're physically attracted to me. And it's mutual, I hope you know."

He gets to his feet, picking up his bottle of water from the table for a long drink. Once he's set it back down, he tears at his hair with one hand. "My therapist made me list out all of the qualities that I would want in a woman when I start dating again. He wouldn't let me leave his office until I could come up with five things," he chuckles.

"Then he told me to go home and study the list with an open mind. So I did, and… you meet everything on that list, Bella. Every item, starting from my #1: loves my son as her own."

A spark of hope begins to bloom in my chest. Edward seems to be saying that he might be interested in dating me, except… "That still doesn't change the fact that Bree's death was 11 months ago and you're not ready to move on."

"Last week, I took my car to the garage to get my oil changed." My brow furrows at the non-sequitur. "I saw your old friend."

"Jacob?" I ask, though of course I already know he spoke to Jacob.

"Yeah. You didn't tell me he's a giant; I think he's even taller than Emmett. Tan skin, white teeth…" he trails off, shaking his head. "He seemed like the type of guy that women would be all over."

"I told you we were never more than friends."

"I know, but… I was struck by this irrational feeling of jealousy."

I laugh out loud, despite the tension in the room. "Jealous of Jacob?" I sputter. So I was right!

He nods sheepishly. "This week, I told my therapist what conclusions I'd come to and he seemed awfully pleased with himself," he laughs. "I guess he could sense from the way I spoke about you that… you aren't alone in this, Bella."

That spark of hope grows brighter. Edward returns my feelings? Or… some of them, anyway.

"I think you're a very special person," he continues. "You're kind and nurturing. You never gave up on me when I was acting like a dick and pushing you away. You've always been there for me when I've needed you. And most of all, I really enjoy spending time with you. I can't stand the thought of you with anyone else."

Suddenly, he sits beside me again, only closer this time… close enough that he reaches out and takes my hands in his. "My therapist made me see that we've actually… kind of… _been_ dating. Yes, in some ways we're just hanging out like friends do, but… there's this undercurrent of more."

"Alice said the same thing," I admit with a laugh, tears starting to prick at my eyes. "She said what we've been doing isn't that far from actual dating. But are you saying you're ready for more?"

He sighs. "You know that's the toughest hurdle for me to get over. I still love Bree, and I'm not ready to give my heart to another woman. I'm not ready to make a long-term commitment to anyone."

"And you think I am?" I exclaim. "Commitment usually comes _after_ the dating and falling in love and… sex. I-I'd like that, one day, but… I'm not ready for that either."

Edward exhales heavily, squeezing my hands as he nods. "I don't… want to lose my chance with you or lose you to someone else because I refuse to move on. Bree is gone, and waiting until it's been a year, or 18 months, or two years… it isn't going to change that.

"And so I think, maybe, we can start at the beginning. I can't make any promises as to what pace will feel right to me, but… I'm ready to take one baby step forward."

"What is a step forward to you?"

He smiles. "Let me find a babysitter for Masen and we'll go out tomorrow, just the two of us."

"A real date?" I clarify.

"Yes, a real date," he laughs.

"With a goodnight kiss?" Not that sex is all I'm looking for out of this relationship, but if Edward's pace means not even kissing until months from now… I might die of the female equivalent of blue balls.

Edward gets to his feet, tugging on my hands until I stand with him. "I just want to try one thing," he whispers, letting go of my hands. "Be very still." Slowly, he brings his right hand up to brush my hair back from my face. My body erupts in goosebumps from just the light touch of his fingertips.

Staring into my eyes, he leans closer, bending slightly so that his lips are more level with mine. I hold my breath as his lips finally brush against mine. He sucks gently on my bottom lip, cupping his hand around my cheek. I feel like I'm going to pass out from the strain of not throwing my arms around him and kissing him back the way I so want to.

When he pulls back and straightens to his full height, I finally let out the breath I've been holding. Edward reaches up, touching his lips with his fingers, and what seems like a dozen different emotions dance across his face. I've never wanted the ability to read minds more than in this moment.

"Was-was that OK?" I whisper.

"I… think I can handle kissing," he replies slowly.

A wide smile breaks out on my face, growing even wider when Edward smiles back.

"So… Bella Swan, will you go out with me tomorrow night?"

"I would love to."

* * *

I need to go shopping.

Edward said we weren't going anywhere fancy for our date, but he also texted me that he'd gotten reservations, so I feel like I should wear a dress, at least. I have dresses, but they're my work clothes. I don't really have _date_ dresses, other than one he saw last year when we went to Port Angeles, since I haven't done much dating as an college grad.

I finally just decide that the dress I wore for this afternoon's graduation is fine, only paired with high-heeled pumps… which I wear about twice a year. Just watch, I'll trip and sprain my ankle on our first date.

Our first date. I still can hardly believe it. I've been on Cloud 9 ever since I left Edward's house last night. His admission that he returns some of my feelings and wants to give us a chance is more than I could've hoped for. I understand that his pace will be slower than I'd like, but he thinks I'm worth the trying, and that's the biggest ego boost a girl could get, under the circumstances.

Once I'm ready to go, I pace around my living room — partly to get used to walking in these shoes, and partly because my dress is black and my buff-colored kitten has been lying on my couch. In fact, she's there now, watching my movements with one eye.

When Edward knocks on the door, I rush to answer it, greeting him with a big smile.

"Wow!" he exclaims, looking me up and down.

"You don't look so bad yourself," I tease, trying to cover how pleased I am by the compliment.

"These are for you," he says, pulling his right hand from behind his back to reveal a gorgeous bouquet of flowers.

I smile widely. "Very good for a first date," I laugh. "Let me just go put these in a vase of water real quick." As I take care of that, I'm thankful that Sandy is still unable to jump onto the kitchen counter.

Edward and I walk out to his SUV with his hand on the small of my back. He surprises me by opening the passenger door for me, like a real gentleman, then closes it once I'm settled inside.

"Is Carolyn watching Masen tonight?" I ask as we back out of Edward's driveway. I don't see her car parked nearby.

"Yeah, he's at her house. She can't keep him too late though, since she was planning to get up early tomorrow and drive to Seattle to visit her other daughter and her family."

I expected that we'd go to Port Angeles for our date, so I'm surprised when Edward turns the opposite direction on Forks Ave. Within just a couple of minutes, we turn into the parking lot for The Lodge.

"Is this place OK?" Edward asks hesitantly as we get out of the car.

"Sure, I love the food here," I assure him.

I walk in with my head held high, being on Edward's arm. I feel like everyone is looking at us, but it's probably just my imagination. The hostess leads us to an intimate booth, and I smile at her in thanks.

"Do you eat here a lot?" Edward asks once our waiter has taken our drink orders. "I've never been here."

"Not a lot, but it's sort of a Forks tradition to come here if you're celebrating something. I had dinner here last year on my birthday with my dad and his girlfriend and her kids."

"Oh, I don't remembering you mentioning that she has kids."

I nod. "Leah is around my age — a few months younger, I think. Seth is 17, so he'll be switching schools to finish his senior year at Forks High instead of on the reservation once our parents get married."

"I remember you saying they're Quileute."

I nod. "Yeah, Sue's late husband, Harry, was good friends with my dad and Billy Black — Jacob's dad," I add just to get a reaction from him.

"Is Seth a giant like Jacob?" Edward asks, wrinkling his nose and making me laugh.

"Not quite that tall, but he seemed at least as tall as you when I saw him recently. And super skinny, even though he eats a ton. He had three pieces of my carrot cake at Easter."

Edward laughs. "What does her daughter do?"

"Leah is a checker at the Thriftway — jet black hair cut in a bob above her shoulders? Masen seemed to know her. At least I thought he was _trying_ to call her by name."

"I know which one you mean," he nods. "She seems to be less blatant about checking me out than other women."

I laugh as the server returns with our drinks, then takes our dinner orders. My favorite dish here is the salmon, but I try to be a considerate date and don't order one of the most expensive things on the menu.

"How is Sandy doing? I think Masen's new favorite word is kitty," Edward adds, rolling his eyes.

"Well, he can come see her tomorrow… if our Sunday dinners are still on?"

"They are," he confirms with a smile.

"Great," I smile. "Anyway, Sandy is settling in really well. I took her to the vet last week to confirm she's a girl and get started with all of her kitten vaccinations. I ordered her a cat tree online that arrived yesterday; I'll probably need your help putting it together." I'm sure I could probably do it myself, but watching Edward doing something manly sounds much more fun.

"Sure, we can work on it tomorrow."

"I've been locking Sandy in the kitchen at night and when I go to school, but she was sleeping on the couch when I left tonight, so I just left her there. How much trouble can she get into in a couple hours?"

"You'd be surprised, I imagine," he laughs. "Picture if I left Masen alone that long."

"Oh God, you're gonna make me want to go home right now and check on her!"

After we've eaten our meals and split a brownie sundae for dessert — be still my heart — Edward takes care of the check and leads me out of the restaurant, his hand again on my back.

"So… I wanted to do this like a normal first date," he says nervously once we're on the road.

"Oh-kay?" The confusion must be evident in my voice.

"I-I mean, just dinner, and… I'll walk you to your door. Maybe next week you can come over and watch a movie or something?"

"Are you asking me on a second date already, Mr. Cullen?" I flutter my eyelashes, flirting with him.

He laughs, "I guess I am."

"Mmmm… I might have to think about it," I tease. His smile tells me he knows I'm kidding.

"I figured I'd bring you home then go pick up Masen," Edward says, stopping in front of my house. "This way there'll be no distractions."

"Distractions?"

Instead of answering, he motions for me to stay put, then comes around the vehicle to open the car door for me. Taking my hand, he helps me out, then leads me up the sidewalk to my front door.

"If Masen was waiting in the car, I wouldn't be able to take my time doing this." His hand on my chin, he pulls me closer, capturing my lips in his. I'm only startled for a moment before I eagerly kiss him back. His kisses are still sweet, but much less tentative than last night.

Edward pulls away before we can really get into it, but I'm still breathless. We stand inches apart, staring into each other's eyes. I don't see any hesitation in his.

"Yes."

"To what?" he asks, sounding confused.

"That second date."

* * *

 **A/N** : So, of course Bella had to see what Edward wanted. She got her wish and it was good news! They're going to give dating a try! How are we feeling now?

Next update on **Monday**!


	27. All You Need Is Now

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! With this chapter, we'll pass _Reason for Living_ in reviews.

Readers who were happy with how the last chapter went far outnumbered those who are a bit more negative, or at least skeptical.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 27 – All You Need Is Now_

I open the door on Sunday afternoon to a smiling Edward, holding tightly to Masen, who looks like he wants to jump out of his father's arms.

"Kitty!" he yells.

"He tried to run over here on his own once I said we were going to go see Bella and Sandy," Edward says, shaking his head as he steps into the house, a diaper bag slung over his arm.

"Well, the kitten is asleep, but I'm sure that won't last now that Masen is here."

"Kitty!" Masen yells again, the moment his feet touch the ground, then he runs into the living room in search of Sandy. By the time Edward and I get there, Masen has located the wriggling kitten and has her in his arms.

"Be gentle with her, remember?" I warn him. "She can scratch you."

It doesn't take long for Sandy to get away and make a beeline for underneath the TV stand. Masen scoots after her, getting down on his belly to coax her out.

"That should keep him occupied for a while," Edward laughs.

He and I go into the kitchen to start dinner, and I'm startled when he pulls me close for a quick kiss.

"What was that for?" I ask… a little too breathlessly.

"I wanted to," he shrugs.

A wide grin on my face, I start gathering the ingredients for our dinner. We work together side by side — periodically poking our heads in to check on Masen — until we've got the baking dish in the oven.

"Do we have time to tackle the cat tree now?" Edward asks.

"I think so," I nod. "I already opened the box and arranged the pieces so we can easily find them. Of course, the directions are almost entirely pictures with no actual words."

Masen stops annoying Sandy long enough to watch in fascination as Edward begins putting the various platforms and posts together. I'm enjoying my role as gofer, retrieving the pieces that he requests. Sandy herself seems to enjoy sniffing at everything.

Slowly but surely, the cat tree begins to take shape. Once the final perches have been screwed onto the top of the posts, I encourage Sandy to climb her tree by holding up a feather on a stick. It's a struggle for her to make it onto the bottom ledge, but she manages to climb up, still too small to jump that high.

Masen jumps up and down, clapping, once Sandy reaches the top. I'm sure he hasn't realized yet that she's now got a perfect place to hide from him, since he's unable to reach that high!

When the oven timer dings, I rush to get our dinner out while Edward corrals his son. It doesn't take long for Sandy to start begging for food, and I'm thankful that she can't yet jump onto the kitchen table. I get up and fix her a bowl of wet food since her cries sound so pathetic. You'd think I haven't fed her in the last week.

"She's got you wrapped around her paw already," Edward laughs.

"And it's not the same for you and Masen?" I raise an eyebrow in challenge as he sits holding Masen on his lap.

"I'm sure it is," he acknowledges. "You too though."

"Yeah, I'd do anything for him, too," I admit with a smile.

"And that's a large part of why… why I'm here, I guess. Giving us a chance. Masen's well-being is my top priority; we're a package deal. And that's never seemed to faze you."

"It doesn't," I assure him. "I would be honored if Masen could call me mama for real one day. One day far in the future," I quickly add, before I freak Edward out.

He chuckles softly. "Thank you for being so accepting of my pace. I know it's a lot to ask — the uncertainty."

"It's… better than the alternative. I mean, it'd be just my luck if I waited for you to be ready to date for months, even years, and when I find out you're finally ready it's because you're asking me to babysit Masen while you go out with another woman."

Edward laughs, so loudly that he startles Masen. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to laugh at you, because yeah, that would really suck for you. It's not going to happen though. The other women in this town look at me like a shiny new toy. They don't _know_ me. And yeah, that's probably my own fault because I haven't let them get to know me."

"Why was I different?" I ask curiously.

"Eat your dinner, bud," Edward says to his son, who's craning his neck, presumably to look where Sandy went. "I don't know, really. I think… maybe you just seemed more genuine. You didn't look at me like a piece of meat. You didn't act like you had a hidden agenda. You just… treated me like a friend," he shrugs.

I can feel my face heat up as I listen to Edward's words. Maybe he was just so caught up in his own grief back then that he didn't notice, because in my mind, I feel like I was so obvious in the way I initially lusted after him. I could barely speak to him without stumbling over my words!

"What's wrong?" Edward asks. "You've gotten quiet."

"I… I think you give me too much credit," I confess. "When I met you, my first thought was that a face like yours should be on the cover of a magazine. I wasn't any better than those other women."

"Of course you are! You never threw yourself at me."

"Well, no, I mean… once I snapped out of my stupor enough to realize you were holding a baby, I assumed you were married. You were off limits," I explain.

"And so you didn't act on your attraction. Even when you found out I _wasn't_ married, your behavior didn't change. And I appreciated that. I wasn't even necessarily looking for a friend, but you made me realize how much I _needed_ one."

"Until I screwed up," I sigh.

"I thought we'd agreed that we were both to blame?"

Smiling, I nod, going back to my dinner.

When I've finished, Edward is still trying to convince Masen to finish his vegetables, so I stand up, rinsing my plate at the sink. I put the leftovers away then start loading the pots and pans from earlier into the dishwasher.

As soon as they've both cleaned their plates, I take care of those dishes, while Edward takes his son into the bathroom to change his diaper.

"Hey, hey, no!" I hear, rushing to the doorway just in time to catch Edward stopping Masen from trying to climb the cat tree.

"That's for kitties to climb, not little boys, OK? I'll get Sandy for you. Go sit on the couch," he directs. Reaching up, he easily plucks the kitten off of her perch, then carries her over to the couch.

I run to get my phone as Edward arranges Sandy on his lap, allowing Masen to pet her gently while his dad holds onto her. They look so cute that I snap several photos before sitting down on Edward's other side.

He looks over at me, smiling. "So we can do something alone next weekend? I can see if Carolyn can babysit."

"Sure," I nod, "that sounds great. As long as Angela's not in the hospital having her baby," I add.

"You met Angela at school, right?"

"Yeah, she'd been teaching at Forks Elementary for four years before I started." Smiling when I realize that Sandy is asleep on Edward's lap, I reach out to stroke her head with one finger. "She is _out_ ," I laugh. "If only I could fall asleep that easily."

"And Angela's not from Forks?" he questions.

"That's right," I nod. "She's from a town called Steilacoom on the other side of the Sound. I think it's actually not far from where your book signing was held in Lakewood."

"Oh, speaking of the book signing… would you be willing to come to California with us now? I-I understand you won't be able to leave until after Angela has her baby. Depending on when that is, we might start getting pretty close to the holiday and…" he trails off, shaking his head as if to shake off the negative thoughts. "I could ask them to plan something for mid-July?" he suggests, looking up at me hopefully.

"I'd like that," I smile, reaching out to touch his hand. "Would we drive all the way there?"

Edward shakes his head. "Fly, I think, with some driving between cities. I'll just let my publishers work out the logistics; they have people paid to do that. And I'll make sure the cost of any plane tickets for you is covered, OK?"

"That… would be very much appreciated," I admit.

Standing, I find something on TV that both of us can enjoy watching. Edward lifts his arm, allowing me to cuddle up against his side once I come back to the couch. Masen is on his other side, still stroking Sandy's fur.

Eventually the kitten wakes up and jumps down onto the floor, Masen close behind. I show him how to use her rainbow rope on a stick to play with her, keeping both of them occupied while I get some quality cuddle time with Edward. His right hand absently stokes my arm while his warm body is pressed up against mine. I could really get used to this.

When the show is over, he sits up, stretching. "Mase, it's past your bedtime." Masen, of course, acts like he doesn't hear him, busy pushing a small plastic ball at Sandy.

"Somehow I think you're going to have to carry him out of here," I laugh.

"I think you're right," he agrees, standing up. "Masen, come on, buddy!" Reaching down, he grabs the toddler around the waist and picks him up.

"Noooooooo!" Masen screeches. "Kitty!" Sandy quickly escapes under the TV stand at the loud noise.

"You can come play with the kitty later this week, OK? It's time for bed."

Laughing, I hand Edward the diaper bag, then walk into the foyer with him to open the front door. Masen is pretty much in full meltdown, just as he was when the two of us left the park in Bellevue. Edward leans over for a quick kiss, then steps outside.

"Bye!" I call, still laughing.

* * *

The girls decide that we need to have dinner at my place this week so they can finally meet Sandy. Instead of our stand-by pizza, Alice picks up burgers from a little place on the north side of town.

When I hear the doorbell, I scoop up Sandy and carry her out to the foyer. I find Alice at the door and Angela waddling across the sidewalk.

"Oh my God, how cute!" Alice squeals. "I love her already!"

Laughing, I stand back to let my friend in, waiting until Angela comes inside to close the door. "Hi, cutie," she smiles, rubbing Sandy's head. I set the kitten down in the kitchen, quickly fixing up a bowl of canned food for her while Alice sets up dinner on the table and Angela gets drinks out of the fridge.

"She is just the cutest little thing," Alice says again as she watches Sandy scarf down her dinner.

"It's good that you think so," I begin, trying to control my grin, "because I'll need you to watch her for me when I go to California with Edward next month."

"What?!" she exclaims.

"Are you guys talking again?" Angela asks. "I feel like we've missed something big here."

I nod. "He asked me to come over to talk last Friday night and… he suggested that we start dating."

Alice nearly drops her burger. "You and Edward are dating?" she asks, eyes wide.

"We've been on one date — so far. He took me to The Lodge last Saturday after graduation. But we're going out again tomorrow night."

"Oh my God, that's awesome!" Alice exclaims. "Now tell us everything."

I take another sip of my drink, trying to figure out the best way to explain. I mean, I've had nearly a week to think about it, but so much of our talk just feels… private to me.

"Edward has been seeing a therapist since last month to help him deal with his grief over losing his wife. After I told him about my feelings for him, he of course spoke to his therapist about it. And with his help — and a little bit of jealousy — Edward was able to admit to himself that he also has some feelings for me. I-I'm not sure they're the same," I caution, "but enough that he's willing to give us a chance. We're taking things slow, but he hasn't freaked out yet."

"I'm really happy for you, Bella," Angela says, a wide smile on her face.

"Thanks."

"I am too, but explain your comment about jealousy!" Alice demands. "Is he seriously jealous of Jacob?"

"Yes!" I laugh, shaking my head.

"So how slow is slow?" Angela asks. "I mean… did he kiss you goodnight?"

"He did," I nod. "And it was every bit as good as I remembered. I'm not sure how fast we'll progress to more than kissing, but I'm happy that he's willing to take baby steps toward a romantic relationship. I'm just going to enjoy where we are now."

"The anniversary of Bree's death is coming up in a few weeks, right?" Alice asks.

"Yeah, and I'm hoping that once the date has passed, he'll feel a little less wary about dishonoring her memory in some way by moving on. I mean, I can wait for sex until he's ready, but damn, the closer we get, the worse that's going to be!"

"Edward is one sexy mofo," Alice agrees. "I don't even care if I'm dating his brother."

Smiling, I start dumping out trash and cleaning up before the three of us move into the living room. Sandy is on her cat tree, playing with the fuzzy mouse on a string. I pick her up then pass her to Alice to hold.

"She's as soft as she looks," Alice smiles, snuggling my kitten. "And yes, I'd be happy to babysit her while you're off on a romantic trip to California with your new boyfriend."

I roll my eyes. "We'll see about that."

* * *

 **A/N** : Some more Masen for those who were missing him. I think Sandy is now his #1 instead of Bella.

A few of you asked about the book signing tour last chapter, and yes, Bella will be going now! With Angela's due date unclear, they've decided to leave after the anniversary of Bree's death (July 8).

It's already written of course, but what should Edward plan for their second date?

Next update on **Thursday**!


	28. Ordinary World

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! Most of you are happy that they're happy. And you all love Masen!

I forgot to comment on this on Monday: a Guest reviewer is under the mistaken impression that Bella is practically Bree's twin. Nothing like this has ever been stated in the story. In fact, Bella mentioned in Chapter 19 that the petite, blonde Jane more resembled Bree physically. Bella and Bree have brown eyes in common, but that's it really.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 28 – Ordinary World_

For our second date on Friday, Edward tells me to dress casually with comfortable shoes. He knocks on my door just after 6pm with another small bouquet of flowers and drives us to the Mexican restaurant where I'd gone for Jessica's birthday, near the north end of town.

Like a gentleman, he walks around to open my car door, but instead of leading me toward the restaurant, he leads me toward the street. "We're not going inside."

"We're not?" I ask in surprise.

"Not yet, anyway," he shrugs. "Um, a woman at the grocery store suggested showing me around Forks. I turned her down, but it got me thinking. I've lived here for over nine months and I don't really know much about Forks. I go to the Thriftway or the diner, maybe a couple other places, but I've never really explored the town. And what better way to do it than with a Forks native?" he smiles.

"Just not her?" Oh man, I almost goofed up and said "Jessica!"

Edward nods, smiling. "I'd much rather have you as my tour guide."

I readily agree, and we start walking south on Forks Avenue, then turn off so that I can show him our three school buildings, which are all in a cluster. "Do you want to go in?" I ask once we've reached the elementary school.

"Can we?" he asks, eyes wide.

"It's not that late," I shrug.

Edward agrees and we step inside the building. I show him first my classroom, and then Angela's kindergarten classroom. "I guess Masen has another four years before he'll go here, but Angela could be his first teacher."

"I love this," he says, looking around in awe. "I love all of her posters and the bright colors."

"Angela spends a lot of time looking for the perfect accessories. Heck, she'll still be decorating the nursery when her baby is a year old," I laugh.

Next, I show Edward the cafeteria, library and gym, before we head outside.

Back on the main road, we continue south. When we reach E Street, I point out the bowling alley a couple of blocks over.

"I didn't know we had a bowling alley!" he exclaims. "Do you bowl?"

"Not well," I shrug, "but I can. As you've probably noticed, there's not a whole lot to do in Forks, so teenagers sometimes hang out at the bowling alley if the weather is too nasty to go to the beach."

"We'll have to go sometime, yeah?" he smiles.

"Sure," I agree.

We walk as far south as the Forks Timber Museum, which is already closed for the day, before turning back around. Edward has never been to the museum, so I agree to take him some afternoon.

It doesn't take long for us to make our way back to the Mexican restaurant. We get a booth inside, snacking on the chips and salsa while we look over the menu.

"Would you like to go on a double date bowling when Jasper is here?" Edward asks.

"Oh, I didn't know he was visiting! Coming to see Alice again, I assume?"

"Well, he _says_ he'll be here for my birthday, but I think Alice has a lot to do with that decision," he chuckles.

"When is your birthday?"

"Tuesday."

"And you're just telling me now?" I raise an eyebrow.

He smiles sheepishly. "I-I thought maybe since you'll be off school then that we could spend the day together in Port Angeles? And then come back for dinner with Jasper and Alice. He'll be here Tuesday through Saturday, so maybe we could all go bowling together one other day."

"That sounds great. This isn't the Big 3-0, is it?" I ask, though I already know he's currently 28 from talking to Edward's brothers last December.

"No! I'll be 29… for real, I mean, since everyone says that," he laughs.

"I've never dated an older man before," I tease him.

"Yeah? I guess I've never dated a younger woman. Bree was several months older than me."

"Surely you've dated other women than Bree?"

"A few," he allows. "But with a June birthday, I was nearly always the youngest in my class, so anyone I dated from the same year would be older."

"And I was usually the oldest in my class. That was cool when I was the first to get a driver's license," I laugh. "Freedom to get out of this town."

"But you came back to Forks after college in the big city."

"Yeah, I did," I smile. "My dad was here, and Alice was planning to come back to Forks after completing her degree… I don't know, family was more important to me than the benefits of living in a larger city. As a teacher, I could get a job pretty much anywhere in the country, but I'm happy here.

"Well, I may have spent the last few years complaining about the dismal dating prospects, but things are definitely looking up on that front," I add.

Edward smiles a dazzling smile, and I can't help but smile back. Maybe, just maybe, we'll be all right.

* * *

Once we've finished our meal, Edward drives us home. Unlike last week, he parks in his driveway. "Do you want to come in?" he asks hesitantly. "Watch a movie?"

"Sure," I nod, trying not to appear too eager.

Inside, Alice's mom is settled on the couch, reading a book. "Well, hello, you two," she smiles. "I just put Masen up to bed about 15 minutes ago."

"Can you make popcorn, Bella?" Edward suggests. "You're better at it than me."

"It's microwave!" I laugh, shaking my head as I walk toward the kitchen. Edward gets us drinks after he's walked Carolyn out, then we get settled in the living room.

"I ordered some new DVDs off Amazon," he says, showing me an array of DVD cases in his hand. "Is _Deadpool_ OK?"

"Sure, I like Ryan Reynolds," I reply, laughing at the face Edward makes.

The bowl of popcorn is situated between us, so there's no cuddling for the first half of the movie. Once the bowl is empty, I scoot closer, enjoying the feel of Edward's arm around me. It's not the first time we've sat like this, but it feels somehow different to me. There's more expectation… on my part, anyway. I'm not sure if Edward is feeling the way I do.

When the movie is over, Edward stands up to get the DVD out of the player and put it back in its box. He turns around and starts walking back to the couch, then stops in the middle of the room. I look up at him questioningly.

"I feel like… if I come back and sit beside you…"

"I'll behave myself," I assure him.

"It's not you I'm worried about." Oh! My body erupts in goosebumps at his words.

A few moments later, he completes the last few feet and sits back down, holding his left hand out. I place my hand in his, letting him play with my fingers.

"It's nice," he says in a raspy voice, "the human touch. I've really missed that."

Smiling, I trace my fingers along the lines on his palm, then the cool band of silver around his ring finger.

"Does it bother you?" he whispers.

"No," I answer honestly. "I understand that removing your wedding ring is a huge step." I certainly don't expect him to remove it before the first anniversary of Bree's death.

"It is," he replies, swallowing thickly. "I-I know she's gone. I know she's not coming back. You know, I tried to take it off last week, before our first date."

"You did?" I ask, eyes wide. "What happened?"

"I was just staring at my bare finger and… my hand was almost shaking. It felt so wrong. I had to put it back on. I wasn't ready."

With a small smile, I reach up, running my fingers through his messy hair in comfort. Edward closes his eyes, almost purring. "Don't stop," he whispers. And so I don't. I touch him gently, nothing sexual, but enough to give him what he must be craving.

When he finally opens his eyes, I can almost see the desire in them. "Come here," he whispers, and I waste no time in letting him pull me close.

The moment his lips touch mine, I know this will be more than the sweet kisses we've shared up to this point. Our lips slide together and when I feel his tongue peeking out, I quickly open for him.

The way we're sitting beside each other on the couch is awkward, and I know I can't get as close as I want to without getting up on my knees or sliding onto his lap.

I also know that would be too much for him. And so I hold myself back and let Edward control our pace.

I feel like a teenager making out with her boyfriend — perhaps with less touching. His hand stays relatively static on my face and neck, rather than moving lower. As much as I might want him to, I know he isn't ready to make this sexual.

Finally, he pulls away with a groan, staring into my eyes. "I think… I need a cold shower," he chuckles. "It's a little too easy for me to get caught up. I know I'd regret it later. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry." I definitely don't want him to have any regrets. I stand up, grabbing our dishes to take into the kitchen.

"You don't have to do that."

I shrug. "I don't mind."

Edward follows me into the kitchen to help me load the dishwasher, then walks with me to the front door.

"Kiss Masen for me, all right?"

He nods. "I will. I'll see you Sunday."

Leaning in, he kisses me softly, then stands leaning against the door jamb to watch me walk back to my house.

* * *

Sunday is an absolutely gorgeous almost-summer day, so Edward and I decide to take Masen to the playground.

"Kitty!" he yells as we head out to Edward's car.

"You can play with the kitty when we get back, OK?" Edward replies.

"Kitty go!" He looks up at his dad with a pleading look.

"I think maybe he wants Sandy to come to the park with us?" I suggest. "I actually bought a harness and leash for her so I can take her outside, but the harness is too big for her right now, so it won't stay on."

"Too bad there's no way to completely enclose Masen's stroller," he laughs, getting Masen buckled into his car seat. "Sorry, Mase. No kitty for now."

Like everything in Forks, the park is just a quick trip. Once Masen is on the ground, Edward and I each hold one of his hands as we walk across the grass to the play area. In my other hand, I've got the bucket playset I bought a few weeks ago so Masen can play in the sandbox.

He chooses the swings first, so Edward lifts his son up and into the toddler seat, then begins slowly pushing him forward.

"Masen has always enjoyed swings," he says with a smile. "At our house in Chicago, we had a wind-up baby swing that he would just sit in for hours. He really loved it. I felt so bad when he got too big for it, not long before… before Bree died."

"Have you brought him to this park before?"

He nods. "A few times, ever since the weather started to turn nicer. Unfortunately, I do actually have a job, so I haven't been able to spend as much time goofing off with my son as I'd like."

"Are you making progress on a third book?" I ask excitedly.

"I have a pretty detailed outline now," he shrugs.

"Do you always write like that? I mean from an outline?"

"Yeah. I need to plan it all out in my head first, from the 30,000-foot view, before I start getting into the details. I'm not very good at winging it," he laughs.

"No? I actually think you're doing pretty well at winging it," I reply with a wink.

He blushes… he actually blushes. "I definitely don't know what I'm doing right now with you," he chuckles. "You really are incredible, you know that?"

"Me? Why?"

Masen starts whining that he wants down, so Edward lifts him out of the swing, and we follow the toddler over to the sandbox. I hand him the plastic buckets and shovels, then take a seat on a nearby bench with Edward.

"You know you didn't even yell at me for taking nearly two weeks to contact you?" Edward begins.

"If it's any consolation, Alice and Angela may have plotted various ways to torture you."

He laughs. "And you didn't?"

I shrug. "I was hoping that when you said you needed more time that you meant time to come to terms with everything. I hoped it was a good sign that you didn't just immediately dismiss the entire idea of ever dating me.

"Once I understood the full extent of your pain, I've tried my best to be patient with you. It isn't always easy," I admit, "but I understand that there's no timetable for grief. Every person is different, and there's no way to rush the process."

He swallows thickly. "I hope that talking to a professional can help speed up the healing process. For myself, not just… for us."

I smile widely. "I like the sound of that — us."

"You were right, by the way. I needed time to convince myself that it's not wrong to be attracted to you, and that it's not wrong to enjoy your company. Our Sundays kind of became the highlight of my week, as much as I didn't want to admit that."

"And do you… accept that it's not wrong, I mean?" I ask, my heart rate speeding up.

"I do," he sighs. "I know I'm… a single man. It's been a little more difficult to convince myself that it's all right to pursue that. There was something Jasper said to me once, that Bree would want me to be happy. She wouldn't want me to be alone. Deep down, I know that's true. I know that's the kind of person she was."

"Was it something the two of you ever talked about?" I ask carefully. "If something happened to one of you?"

"No," he says quietly. "I guess… we were young and thought we were invincible. Neither of us anticipated losing the other for a very long time. Mom said that she and Dad have discussed it, and they've both agreed that they'd just want the surviving spouse to be happy, whatever that means."

"Were you… all right after I left Friday night?" I ask, remembering how our make-out session seemed to be getting close to his limit.

"Yeah, I was," he says with a small smile. "I thought maybe the guilt would hit me, but it didn't. I know we need to continue to move forward slowly though. S—"

"Don't say you're sorry," I cut him off, and he smiles nodding.

"Ma?" Little Masen pulls on the leg of my jeans, looking up at me as he points toward the slide. I freeze for a moment, nervously catching Edward's eye.

"You want to go down the slide, buddy?" he asks, ignoring his son's remark. "All right, let me help you up the ladder. Bella and I will be there to catch you at the bottom."

I smile widely. He said, "Bella and I." Together. We're on our way.

* * *

 **A/N** : One late reviewer (ivy) got the closest to guessing their date when she suggested that Bella could take him to see her school. Their alone time after dinner got a bit closer to PG-13, but probably still PG. And then another family outing to the playground with Masen! But not Sandy lol. I tried to put my kitten in a harness and leash once, but she was terrified of the outside and just ran back inside when I set her down on the porch.

Next update on **Monday**! It's Edward's birthday!


	29. Perfect Day

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! Most of you are pleased with their slow, steady progress and looking forward to seeing Jasper again.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 29 – Perfect Day_

On Tuesday morning, Edward shows up around 10am for our trip to Port Angeles. I'm a little surprised to see he doesn't have Masen with him.

"Alice has Masen," he explains. "I figured we could use some adult time. So, how was your last day of school?"

"It's always a fun day, but sad, too — saying goodbye to my students. I know I'll see them around the halls for the next several years, so it's not really goodbye. And I stopped by Angela's classroom briefly to meet next year's group.

"What time does Jasper arrive?" I ask.

"He's in the air already, should be landing at SeaTac around noon. He and Alice are going to meet us at The Lodge around 6:30, if that's OK?"

"Sure, it's fine," I agree. "Does, um, does Jasper know about us?"

"He does," Edward confirms. "Alice blabbed before I got a chance to tell him."

"Oh," I laugh. That sounds like Alice. "I don't want to put a damper on things, but… did you do anything special for your birthday last year?"

"No," he shakes his head. "Bree had to work. Plus, we'd just taken that short vacation for her parents' 40th anniversary a couple of weeks earlier. Rather than a large cake we couldn't finish, she brought home two fancy cupcakes from a local bakery."

I smile. After school yesterday, I baked and decorated a birthday cake for Edward. Alice was able to find out his favorite flavor from Jasper, and I plan to surprise him with it after dinner tonight, along with his gift.

"Did you get along with Bree's parents?" I ask curiously.

"Well enough," he shrugs. "They weren't especially supportive of my career choice initially, or my decision to quit my job and write full time."

"Oh, I remember you saying once that they were afraid Bree would end up supporting you — not that there's anything wrong with that," I add.

"Yeah," he nods. "Bree's parents both had successful careers in the corporate world. I think they would've preferred someone with a similar earning capacity to be their son-in-law, but… in the end, they just wanted their daughter to be happy."

"I assume you saw them when you went back for the trial and sentencing?"

"Yeah, they were pretty upset when I didn't bring Masen with me last month, and when I said I had no plans to come back to Chicago anytime soon."

"I imagine they miss their grandson," I murmur.

"I know, and I don't blame them. They might visit later this summer."

I immediately start wondering what Bree's parents will think of Edward dating again. What if they visit and don't like me?

Once we've arrived in Port Angeles, we walk around for a bit before choosing a restaurant for lunch, a brewery that also serves artisan pizzas. Edward gets a text from his brother while we're eating, letting him know that his plane has landed in Seattle.

I have to admit that I'm looking forward to seeing Jasper again. From the conversation I overheard at Easter, I know he at least should be happy with recent developments.

After lunch, we walk along the pier, visit a museum on marine life, and stop in at several little shops. It's a fun afternoon without a toddler who would be likely to get cranky after the first hour of adult activities. We do stop at a candy store to bring a couple of presents back for Masen.

Alice sends me a couple of texts with photos of Masen at the playground in Forks, so I can show Edward that his son is having a fun day out, too. When my phone dings a third time, I expect to see another photo from Alice, but instead it's a text message from Angela.

"They're inducing labor tomorrow!" I shout, earning stares from a few people passing by. "It's from Angela," I clarify.

Edward laughs. "Congratulations, Auntie! Or whatever the appropriate term should be."

"Auntie works," I agree with a smile. "Angela has only younger twin brothers, so Alice and I can be the aunts."

Later in the afternoon, we're back on the pier, just enjoying the sunshine from a bench near the ferry terminal, Edward's arm around my shoulders.

"Where do the ferries go?" he asks.

"Victoria."

"Oh," he replies. "That might be a fun trip one day. Do you have a passport?"

"Yeah," I nod. "I got one when I was in college in Seattle — in case we ever decided to go to Vancouver or do a Spring Break trip to Mexico."

"And did you?" he laughs.

"We did drive up to Vancouver a few times. I've never been to Victoria though. I'd love to go with you," I smile.

Edward smiles back, leaning over to kiss me gently. "I haven't done that all day."

"Well, never let me stop you." Ooops… did I just say that out loud? Thankfully he just laughs.

"Can I ask you about your mom?" he asks after a few minutes.

"Of course."

"Did she really join a nudist colony?"

"Yes," I chuckle.

"Have you seen her since she left you and your dad?"

"Yeah. Dad wouldn't let me visit her in Phoenix, but she came back to visit me a couple of times, like right before I started school and again when I was eight or nine. I was around 12 when she left the nudist colony and moved to Sedona. It's known for crystals and all kinds of New Age stuff. I think I visited twice over the summer while she lived there."

"Have you seen her recently?" he asks.

"Not in a few years. Renee got married again when I was a junior in high school. Her new husband, Phil, is a minor league baseball player. They moved to Jacksonville shortly after they got married, after he was traded. I never made it to Mexico over Spring Break, but I did visit her when a bunch of us went to Florida one year. That was the last time though."

"Do you ever wish you'd grown up with two parents?" he asks quietly. "I know you said Carolyn was kind of like a mom to you."

"She was great. I'm sure it wasn't the same, but it was nice to have someone to talk to about… just growing up and becoming a woman. My dad tried his best, but he was still a dad, you know? He was never great with emotional stuff."

"I'm glad Masen has you."

I turn to look at him. "You're a great father. Masen will be fine."

Edward stands suddenly, tugging on my hand until I join him. When I do, he puts his hands on my hips. "Thank you for spending my birthday with me. I knew I needed to get out of the house today."

I smile gently. "I'm always happy to spend time with you."

"How are you with PDAs?"

My smile grows wider. "Try me."

Pulling me closer, he leans down, touching his lips to mine. I give in to my urges and throw my arms around his neck, eagerly kissing him back. Pressed up against Edward, I can't help but remember the night we spent together. I know I'm getting ahead of myself, but I can't freakin' wait until things between us move forward… physically. I'll be on him at every opportunity.

All too soon, he pulls back, smiling softly as he stares into my eyes. "We probably need to be heading back."

"I know," I groan, reluctantly taking a step back. "I'll never hear the end of it from Alice if we're late."

* * *

Edward and I pull into The Lodge parking lot with two minutes to spare. Walking inside with his hand on my back, we find Jasper, Alice and Masen in the waiting area.

"Da!" Masen yells as soon as he spots his father.

"Shhhh… inside voice, buddy," Edward chuckles, taking his son from his uncle's lap. Jasper stands up and the two of them share one of those half-man hugs, while Alice and I try not to grin.

After another minute or so, we're led to a booth, where the hostess has set up a high chair on the end for Masen. I smile at her when she brings him a paper placemat and crayons to keep him occupied.

"Did you get a text from Angela?" I ask Alice.

"Yes!" She's practically vibrating in her seat. "By this time tomorrow, we might have a baby!"

"When is the induction scheduled?" Edward asks.

"Eight in the morning," I answer.

"I wouldn't be too sure about the baby being born that quickly. Bree was in labor for almost 24 hours."

My eyes widen. "How much did Masen weigh when he was born?"

"Eight pounds, six ounces. Big, but not huge," he shrugs, reaching over to ruffle his son's hair.

"Angela's doctor is predicting a nine-pounder, which is why he didn't want to wait any longer," Alice explains.

When our server comes to take our order, I've still not even looked over the menu.

"My treat, guys," Jasper says. "Get whatever you want, seriously."

"Are you guys celebrating something?" our server asks with a smile.

"It's my brother's birthday," Jasper replies. "Why don't you bring us a bottle of this—" he points at the menu"— and we should all be ready when you come back."

When he returns with the bottle of white wine, we all choose something different as our meal. I order my favorite grilled salmon, which I haven't had since my birthday last year. Jasper _said_ we could order anything!

"How was your flight, Jasper?" I ask as I sip my wine.

"Long," he grumbles. "I was unable to get a seat with extra legroom."

"But it was worth it, right?" Alice says, elbowing him.

"Of course it was, babe," he answers, pulling her close and kissing her temple.

Everyone's meal is delicious. Masen even enjoys the fish sticks Edward ordered for him from the kids menu, though the brothers have to help him clean his plate.

"Would you like some dessert?" our waiter asks as he clears our plates. "We've got peach cobbler as a special tonight, or I can bring the dessert menus."

"No, thanks," I jump in before anyone else has a chance. "We've got birthday cake at home."

"We do?" Edward asks once our server has walked away. "Did you make it?"

"I sure did," I smile. "You didn't give me much warning, but I stopped by the Thiftway after school yesterday to get the ingredients I needed."

"Well, if it's half as good as that chocolate cake you made for Masen's birthday, I might need to buy some new pants," Jasper says, patting his flat stomach.

"I'll help you work it off," Alice says, making me cover my face with my hand to keep from laughing out loud.

"Do you want some cake, Masen?" Edward asks.

"Cake!" he parrots.

"I doubt he remembers what cake is," I chuckle.

Once Jasper has taken care of the bill, Edward lifts Masen from the high chair and the five of us head outside. Since the car seat is in Jasper's rental car, he offers to take Masen so we don't have to deal with it now.

As soon as Masen is out of the car and realizes we're going to my house, he runs toward the door, yelling, "Kitty!"

"Calm down," I laugh, sticking my key in the lock. "You don't want to scare her."

As if he didn't hear a word I said, Masen ducks under my arm, running toward the living room in search of Sandy, who has proven she can be trusted to have full run of my house now.

"Kitty?" he asks, stopped in the middle of the room, as he looks around for her.

I spot Sandy curled up in the condo on her cat tree, so I gently coax her out and into my arms.

"Go sit down, bud," Edward suggests.

Once Masen is seated, I set Sandy on his lap. "Hi, kitty," he says. My heart melts as he pets my kitten. He's so gentle with her.

"I can hear her purring from here," Alice smiles.

"She's probably hungry. I'm gonna go fix Sandy's dinner."

Grabbing a can of wet food from the pantry, I hear Masen giggle as soon as I've popped the pull-tab top. Seconds later, Sandy appears at my feet. "You know what that sound means in just three weeks, huh?" Shaking my head, I set her bowl on the placemat on the floor.

"Are you guys ready for cake now?" I ask, turning toward my friends. At their agreement, I pull it out of the fridge and open the top to a chorus of oohs and ahs. I didn't bother making decorator frosting, but I did buy a tube of frosting that I could use to pipe "Happy Birthday, Edward" on top of the nine-inch round cake.

Alice leads us in a round of _Happy Birthday_ , and then I begin cutting slices of cake for everyone.

Edward's eyes light up when he sees the bright red color of the cake beneath the cream cheese frosting. "How did you know red velvet is my favorite flavor?"

"A little birdie told me," I smile, as Jasper raises his hand.

Masen crawls up onto Edward's lap to eat his own small piece — hopefully with the spoon I've given him so he doesn't make a mess.

"This is really good," Edward says with his mouth full. He swallows quickly. "Is this the bakery's recipe?"

"It is now. I found it online several years ago and started making it, and then the bakery ended up adopting it as one of theirs — ow!"

Little claws are poking right through my jeans as Sandy climbs up onto my lap. Masen giggles as her head pops up over the edge of the table. I gently hold her back from investigating my piece of cake.

"Awww… she just wants to sniff it," Alice smiles.

"Yeah, I don't trust her not to lick it."

"Well, give her some on your finger," she suggests.

I'm about to do just that when I get a better idea. "Hey, Masen, stick your pinky finger—" I hold mine out so he knows which I mean, "in the frosting then bring it over here."

With a little help from his father, Masen does as I ask, and it doesn't take long for Sandy to move closer to check it out. "Whoa!" Masen giggles when her little pink tongue darts out to lick the frosting off of his finger.

"Her tongue is like sandpaper, isn't it?" I smile. Masen starts to go back for more once she's cleaned his finger, but I reach out to stop him. "That's enough, OK? We don't want Sandy to get sick."

Once we're all finished, I cut out two slices of cake for myself, leaving the rest of the container for Edward and Jasper to take home. Masen is obviously getting tired, so we decide to call it a night. Somehow, Edward convinces his brother to take his son home, leaving him alone with me.

"So, um, I got you something," I say nervously.

"You did? I thought that awesome cake was my present," he laughs.

Smiling, I hand him the small wrapped gift, crossing my fingers that he likes it as I watch him rip the paper off. My options were severely limited since I only found out about his birthday two days ago and didn't have time for a trip to Port Angeles after work yesterday.

"Oh, this is awesome, Bella, thanks!" he smiles, pulling the leather wallet from its box. "Mine was in pretty sad shape."

"Really? I hadn't noticed," I reply with a wink. It was practically duct-taped together when he paid for our meal Friday night.

We walk to the front door hand in hand, and I smile at the way he's looking at me. "Thank you for an amazing birthday."

"I had a lot of fun, too," I assure him.

Edward leans down to kiss me and it quickly turns into more than he probably intended. I'm unable to keep from throwing my arms around his neck, and his hands are this close to being on my backside, while our tongues tangle together. I'm disappointed when he finally pulls back with a groan. "I'll see you soon." And with one more peck on the lips, he's gone.

* * *

 **A/N** : Another successful date, with some hot kissing at the door. Still PG though. And Angela's baby is on the way!

I make awesome red velvet cake using a recipe from Paula Deen's cousin. I've never fed the frosting to my cats though.

Next update on **Thursday**! It's one of my favorite chapter titles thanks to the double meaning, hehe.


	30. Pressure Off

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! Everyone thought Edward had a great 29th birthday.

The husband from the real-life murder case that inspired this story got married this week!

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 30 – Pressure Off_

I spend much of Wednesday waiting for text message updates from Ben or Angela on how things are progressing. Despite the dose of Pitocin early this morning, labor isn't moving forward very quickly. A text from Ben around 6pm indicates that it's going to be a long night. By the time I'm ready for bed, there's still no baby.

When I wake up on Thursday, the first thing I do is check my phone.

 **4:56am. 9 lbs, 3 oz. I am wiped out** , Ben's text reads.

 _Angela did all the hard work_ , I text back. _When can we see her?_

 **Give us until about noon. Room 247.**

I quickly shower and get dressed, then call Alice. I can't get to the hospital on my own since Jacob has had my truck since early Tuesday. I'm expecting to get it back later this afternoon.

Thanks to Alice's employee parking sticker, we're able to park close to the entrance, then make our way to the Maternity floor.

"Knock, knock," Alice says, walking through the open door to Angela's room. Ben is seated in the chair beside the bed, a tiny pink bundle in his arms, while an exhausted Angela looks on from her semi-seated position in bed.

"Hey, guys," she greets us tiredly. "You just missed my parents; they went down for lunch."

"Hi," Ben smiles.

"Long day, huh?" I hug Angela carefully.

"And night," she nods. "I thought for sure I was going to end up with an emergency C-section."

After hugging Angela briefly, Alice walks around the bed to where Ben is seated. "Give her up," she demands with a grin, and he stands, calmly transferring the bundle to Alice's arms.

"So what's her name?" I ask excitedly.

"Chloe Ann Cheney," Angela announces proudly.

"Awwww…" I peek at the bundle, noticing that Chloe has a head full of dark hair already, just like both of her parents. "She's so tiny."

"She feels more like holding a three-month-old," Alice chuckles, coming back around to the other side of the bed. After a few minutes, she passes the baby to me, and I learn that she wasn't kidding.

"How long are you off work, Ben?" Alice asks.

"I'm hoping to go back after the Fourth, but I may have to do a little bit of work from home next week," he answers. "I'd been clearing my schedule for the past few weeks."

"You guys both look good holding a baby. Which of you is next?" Angela asks with a grin.

"Not me!" I exclaim. "Pretty hard to get pregnant when you haven't progressed beyond kissing."

"With or without tongue?" Alice asks.

"With," I answer, before I remember it's none of her business.

"Ooohhh…" She waggles her eyebrows. "Will you go home tomorrow?" she asks, turning to Angela.

"Yeah, as long as we both check out OK, I should be released sometime tomorrow afternoon."

When little Chloe starts to cry, I place her in her mother's arms. "That's her hungry cry," she says. "Didn't take long to learn that one."

"We'll get out of your hair then," Alice smiles. "Just let us know when you're up for visitors at home." We each give Ben a hug before leaving.

"She's soooo beautiful," Alice says as we head back to her car. "Almost makes me want to get knocked up."

"Almost?" I laugh.

"Well, there's the tiny issue of living 2,000 miles away from the baby's potential father."

"Have you guys talked about that?"

"A little bit," she shrugs. "I don't think Jasper is a Forks kind of guy. I think he'd be OK with moving to the Seattle area, but other than my sister and her family, everyone I love is here."

"Could you compromise at Port Angeles?" I suggest. "It's about five times the size of Forks."

"Maybe," she sighs. "This is the tough part of long distance relationships."

Since I won't get my car back until late afternoon, I ask Alice to stop at the Thiftway so I can pick up everything I'll need to make up a few meals for Angela and Ben. That way, I can make them this afternoon and drop them off at their house tomorrow.

I spend the rest of the afternoon cooking. After baking each meal, I separate them into two-person portions and place them in the cheap, disposable containers that I purchased for freezing and easy reheating for the new parents.

Shortly before I've got my kitchen cleaned up, I get a text from Jacob to say my truck is ready. He offers to come pick me up and drive me to the garage. I pay him for his work and head home.

I've got about a half hour to chill before I need to get ready to go bowling, so I relax on the couch with Sandy on my lap. "You know you're getting fur all over my jeans," I tell her. She opens one eye to look at me, then closes it again. "You don't care at all, do you?"

I take a few minutes to change into slightly nicer clothes and freshen up so that I'm ready when Edward arrives. As we walk out to his SUV, I notice Carolyn's car parked in front of the house.

Sunset Lanes also has a snack bar, so when we get there, the four of us order from the counter and grab a table.

"So, teams, right? Alice and me versus Edward and Bella?" Jasper suggests as he sips his beer.

"That seems more fair than boys versus girls," I grin.

"God, I don't think I've bowled since I came back to Forks," Alice says.

"Me either!" I laugh. We're going to be so awful.

After we've eaten, Jasper pays for a lane for two hours and we choose our rental shoes and balls. I choose the best fit for my hand, while Alice just wants a sparkly pink ball, even if it is only nine pounds.

It takes a few frames for me to get into some sort of groove, throwing at least a good first ball. I can't pick up a spare to save my life though. Both Edward and Jasper are quite good, though by the end of the two hours, they've each had enough of the cheap beer that their scores are starting to suffer.

Edward and I end up winning by a total of 12 pins. We enjoy taunting the other side, though Jasper has a pretty good argument in that his score was slightly higher than Edward's.

"That was fun," Alice says breathlessly as we step outside. "Even if we lost. Hand over the keys, Jazz," she insists as he starts to walk toward the driver's side of his rental car.

"That sounds like a good idea," I agree, holding out my hand. Once Edward has dropped his keys into my palm, I unlock the SUV and scoot the seat forward until I can reach the pedals.

Just a few short minutes later, I pull the SUV into Edward's driveway and shut off the engine. "Do you want to come in?" he asks with a slightly salacious drunken grin.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" I raise an eyebrow. He gives me his best pout and I relent. "For a few minutes."

Inside, Alice's mom is seated in the recliner, reading a book. "Who won?" she asks, inserting a bookmark as she closes the book and stands.

"Edward and I beat Alice and Jasper," I answer.

"Well, congratulations," she smiles. "Masen has been up in bed for about a half hour."

Edward pays Carolyn and walks her out while I grab two bottles of water from the fridge and bring them into the living room. I know I need to be the strong one here with Edward's inhibitions lowered.

I eye him carefully when he comes back into the room, but he just smiles. "I'm really not that drunk," he insists, sitting heavily beside me. I hand him one of the water bottles and he takes a long drink.

"That was fun." He sighs, "Sometimes I think I've forgotten what it's like to have fun. Even without the cloud of grief, I've still felt crushed under the pressure of trying to be both a dad and a mom to Masen."

"You're doing a great job, Edward." I reach over, touching his shoulder. "And you're allowed to have fun."

"I know," he smiles, turning to look at me. "I feel like I'm not alone in this anymore."

"You're not."

Edward crooks his finger and I scoot closer, letting him pull me in for a kiss. His hand is on my side, and as we kiss, it slowly slides up until I feel one finger brush against the side of my breast. My nipples tighten instantly, so ready for his touch.

"Just for a minute," he whispers, and I have no idea what he's referring to until he tugs me closer, helping me to straddle his lap. Finally able to get as close as I need, I tangle one hand in his hair, letting my breasts brush against his chest as our kisses deepen. His hands are wrapped around my sides.

Edward groans beneath me and I know he's enjoying this as much as I am. He's showing no signs of stopping, however, so I know that I need to be the responsible one. The last thing I want is for him to regret anything we do and pull back from me.

I force my lips away from his, and he slowly opens his eyes. Seeing the lust-filled look in them, I almost forget about stopping, but I know I have to remain strong.

"Time for me to go," I whisper.

He nods, and I stand up, starting to laugh. "What?" he asks in confusion.

"I did a number on your hair, sorry." He shrugs, smiling, and I know he'll be OK. "Stay! You don't have to walk me out."

* * *

Over the next week, Edward and I see each other often, almost always with Masen. They'll stop over for dinner and let Masen play with Sandy, and once I've started working at the bakery, they come by for ice cream on their way to the park.

There are no more hot make-out sessions, but that's OK.

On the first Saturday in July, Carolyn says she's able to watch Masen all evening, so Edward and I drive to Port Angeles for dinner at one of the seafood places near the water.

Now that we're only a week away from the anniversary of Bree's death, I'm wondering at what point the grief will start to hit him, but he still appears fine. I suggest going out to one of the bars for some dancing after dinner instead of catching a movie, and he agrees.

Forgoing drinks, we step onto the dance floor right away, enjoying the fast beat. Last December, Edward and I danced together as part of a group, but this is our first time just the two of us. I don't think I'm a particularly good dancer, but it doesn't matter.

When a slow song begins, I throw my arms around Edward's neck, letting him pull me close. Maybe it's the sexy beat, or the flashing lights, or just the atmosphere, but my want for him grows by the second. Halfway through the song, he spins me around, his lips running along the side of my neck. I forget about trying to be good and grind my backside against him.

"I love the way you feel," he whispers, his hot breath in my ear causing goosebumps over my entire body.

When the music changes, we continue dancing like that. I reach back with one arm, playing with his hair since he seems to love it.

"Let's go," Edward whispers, and I let him take my hand and lead me out of the club. We walk briskly back to his SUV, and instead of opening the door for me, he presses me against it. Almost immediately, his lips are on mine. I eagerly kiss him back, my tongue tangling with his and my hands brushing up and down his back.

I hear someone catcalling, which snaps me back to reality. We're in a parking lot, over an hour from home. When Edward's lips move to sucking on my neck, I take the opportunity to place my hands on his chest, gently pushing him away.

"Any further and we might be arrested," I joke through my heavy breaths.

"Why is it so damn far back to Forks?" he whines, letting go of me. He unlocks the door, jogging around to the driver's side.

Edward turns the radio on for the drive back, and I can feel this… anticipation in the air. Whatever we started isn't going to end with a simple goodnight kiss on my doorstep.

Of course, Carolyn is at Edward's house, so we have to behave ourselves when we get there. I get out of the car before he can open the door for me, reaching for his hand as he unlocks his front door with the other.

"Hello," she greets us, the TV tuned to a rerun of _Saturday Night Live_. "Did you kids have a good time?"

I snicker at being called a kid. "Yeah, we went dancing after dinner."

"Oh, how fun! Well, I'll get out of your hair."

I wait in in the living room, still standing, for Edward to walk Carolyn out, unsure of what his plans are. I mean, I doubt he has any intention of taking me up to bed. I know he's not ready for _that_.

When he returns, he takes my hand in his, then tugs me toward the couch. As he sits, he pulls me down so I'm straddling his lap, then reaches up to take my face in his hands. "I've been thinking about this for the past hour," he whispers.

"You and me both." I typically wait for Edward to make the first move, but this time I don't. I take his lips in mine, burying my hands in his hair. He doesn't hesitate to start kissing me back. As we kiss, his hands start wandering until both of his thumbs are rubbing against the bottom of my breasts.

I moan and that spurs him on to move them higher, brushing against my nipples as his lips travel along my jaw to my neck. I can feel him hard beneath me. The devil over one shoulder says I should go ahead and find a little friction, while the angel fears that this will all be too much for him.

The devil wins. Edward isn't at all impaired — he had one glass of wine hours ago with dinner — so he knows what he's doing.

I'm not sure I've _ever_ dry-humped a man so shamelessly, but I literally can't help myself. The top of my dress is blousy enough that he can rub his lips over the top of my breasts. His hands are squeezing my ass as he helps me move back and forth over his erection. He must be so uncomfortable still in his pants, but I don't dare even suggest opening them.

Edward whimpers and I know he must be close. "Don't stop," he mumbles, burying his face in my neck. And I don't, not until his groan lets me know that he's reached his peak.

I pull back a little as he raises his head, staring at me. His eyes say it all… we went too far, too fast.

* * *

 **A/N** : We've reached PG-13 territory! And it appears to have been too much for Edward. I don't think they could make this journey without at least one step back. But what happens now?

Angela's baby girl is named for one of my favorite Instagram kitties (_gochloego_)

 **Monday** is Christmas day so I may or may not update. I don't actually know what my plans are for the holiday right now. It'll be somewhere in Sunday through Tuesday though.

I'm off work until a week from today (Thursday), so I hope to get a lot of the _Everything She Wants_ continuation written. I know exactly what I want to write!


	31. Ball of Confusion

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! Happy Boxing Day! If you're from one of the countries smart enough to make the day after Christmas into a holiday, that is.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 31 – Ball of Confusion_

I quickly scramble off of Edward's lap, getting to my feet. Almost immediately he brings his hands up over his face.

"Why didn't you stop us?" he cries. Before I can answer, he shakes his head. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to blame you." He peeks up at me through his fingers.

I decide to answer him anyway. "I thought you were in control of what you were doing and you'd stop if it got to be too much. And… to be honest… I didn't want to stop."

Edward kicks his shoes off and brings his feet up onto the couch, burying his head on his bent knees.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Edward."

He remains silent for several long moments. "I know," he whispers, and I let out the breath I'd been holding.

"Do you need me to leave?" I ask, because I feel like I should ask, even if I don't want to leave him alone.

He shakes his head, but doesn't speak.

"I don't know how to deal with it," he finally says, his voice cracking. I think he might be crying. "M-maybe it's just that I haven't been with a woman in so long, but… the alternative… I didn't stop because I want you so much and…"

"And what?" I ask when he doesn't continue. I'm not sure I follow what he's saying.

"I've never felt this before," he cries. "The way I want you. I don't know what to do with that!"

I stand there stunned as I try to put the pieces together. Is he trying to say that he wants me _physically_ … more than he did his beloved wife? Or is he just horny just because he hasn't had sex in over eight months? Somehow I think he wants it to be the latter.

"I need to think," he rasps, the palm of his hands pressed against his temples.

"I'll leave you alone on one condition." I wait until he looks up at me before continuing. "Promise me that you're not going to pull away from me. I'm working at the bakery until seven tomorrow, but you and Masen can come over after that. I can pick up pizza on the way home."

"All right," he agrees.

"I'll see you tomorrow then."

Once I'm outside in the cool night air, I take a deep breath. This was not at all how I wanted this evening to end, but maybe it's not such a bad thing if it forces Edward to confront his feelings.

* * *

After not sleeping well last night, I'm exhausted by the time I get off work. The bakery has a booth at the Fourth of July Fair on Tuesday at Tillicum Park, so we've been busily baking up dozens of cookies and other items to sell at the fair. Tomorrow morning, I need to bake three different pies to enter in the pie contest, and then it's back to the bakery to help make ice cream.

I call in our pizza order about 10 minutes before I leave work. As I pick it up, I text Edward to let him know I'll be home in about five minutes. Since my truck got its tune-up, I can't count on him hearing me coming.

After pulling into my driveway, I try to juggle everything as I make my way to the door. Luckily, Edward comes rushing out to help, grabbing the box from my hands so that I can unlock the door. "Ben!" Masen smiles, looking up at me and making me laugh.

"We're gonna eat first, bud," Edward warns as his son immediately runs off in search of my kitten. He sets the box on the table and I start getting drinks out of the fridge. "I brought a sippy cup with juice for Masen," he says, pulling it from the diaper bag.

I grab bowls to split up the Caesar salad, adding a little bit to a plate for Masen, who's up on his knees on one of my chairs. Sandy appears at my feet, meowing plaintively, so I quickly fix up a bowl for her before sitting down to eat.

"How was work?" Edward asks. "I would've come by except that it was raining earlier. We didn't end up going to the park."

"I was really busy with the fair coming up in two days. You and Masen are going, right? I'll be working our booth, but you can cheer me on in the pie contest. And I'm sure they'll have activities for children."

He laughs. "I remember you telling me that your apple pie has won four years in a row."

"That's right," I reply proudly, impressed that he'd remember. "I'm also entering a blackberry and a pecan pie this year. Oh, and my dad should be there… I don't know if you're ready to meet him, but… you can see him at least."

He gives me a small smile, nodding.

Once we've cleaned up all of the pizza, I decide to just leave the dishes for now, and we head into the living room. Sandy is lying on the floor, so Masen picks up one of her toys to start playing with her.

"How are you doing?" I ask quietly, sitting on the couch beside Edward. "I mean, you seem OK."

He shrugs. "I really need to talk to my therapist, but my appointment isn't until Wednesday."

"Can you talk with me?"

"I can try, but… it doesn't even make sense in my own head." I smile sympathetically.

"Sorry in advance if any of this is tough for you to hear." He swallows thickly. "You know that I love Bree… more than I ever thought possible. She made me who I am today. She's the one who encouraged me to be true to myself."

"By forgoing med school to become a writer," I clarify.

"Yeah," he smiles. "We were friends first before it grew into more. I'm thankful that our relationship had that strong foundation. We were together because we really clicked; it wasn't just lust. Don't get me wrong — our sex life was fine. Great, even. I'd never had any other serious relationships to compare it to, but I had no complaints, and… I don't think she did either."

"It sounds perfect," I reply quietly, wondering once again how I could ever live up to Bree in Edward's mind.

"It _was_ perfect. I fully expected that we'd one day celebrate our 60th or even 70th anniversary. I was looking forward to growing old together," he says wistfully.

"I have to admit, I'm not quite sure how this relates to what happened last night… or what you said afterward."

"That's why it makes no sense!" he exclaims.

"Why what makes no sense?"

"Why I can't keep my hands off of you! Ever since we started dating, that night we spent together flashes through my mind. I remember it and I want it again, even if I feel like it's too soon. It's getting more and more difficult to stop with you. I've been relying on you to be the sane one, even though I know that's not fair to you.

"I don't think our relationship is just lust, because we were friends first too, just like Bree and me. But the thing is… I don't ever remember having this physical pull toward her. We were never about that. I didn't feel this _yearning_. Maybe it's just because I'm dying for any touch, but I really don't think that's it. It's not that I haven't had offers when I've been out around town, because I have, and… I wasn't even the slightest bit tempted. You're the only one I want right now."

"I'm not sure what to say, Edward," I reply carefully. "I don't think that anything you feel for me should diminish the relationship you had with Bree. They're two different things."

"They are," he agrees, "but… I don't know how to handle these feelings. My body is so ready to move forward with our relationship, but my heart and my head aren't there yet. It's so confusing to me to feel this ache for you when I didn't feel it for the woman I loved more than my own life. What does that say?" he asks, throwing his hands up helplessly.

I assume that's a rhetorical question, but I feel like he deserves an answer. "I really don't know. Hopefully your therapist will have some ideas." It's definitely… flattering to be the object of his desire, but I want to one day have his heart, too.

"Yeah… in the meantime, maybe we shouldn't be alone together until all of me is ready to move things forward physically."

"No, I can be the sane one for you. Last night I let desire overrule my brain, but I won't make that mistake again," I promise.

"You know, I… sort of left you hanging last night. That wasn't very gentlemanly of me."

"That's why we have vibrators." Edward's eyes widen and I burst out laughing. "I'm kidding! Seeing your pain last night kind of killed the mood."

"I _will_ make it up to you one day."

"I'll hold you to that," I smile.

* * *

Tuesday morning, I'm up early to bring my three pies to Tillicum Park to be entered in the pie contest. I drop them off, then head over to the bakery's booth to help set up.

"How many pies are you entering?" my boss, Eric, asks.

"Three," I answer. "Are you judging this year?"

"Yeah, but I'm not sure which category." The fair committee tries to bring in different judges each year for fairness, though as an accredited pastry chef, Eric is almost always selected.

The fair opens as 11am. Because we sell desserts, business is expected to be light for the first couple of hours, leaving me time to walk around and check out the rest of the booths.

I spot Edward and Masen in line for burgers shortly before noon. "Hey, guys," I call, running up to them.

"Ben!" Masen holds his hands up, so I reach down and pick him up.

"I really think that's your new name now," Edward laughs. "I was gonna look for you after we ate."

"We're over there," I point out our booth. "I'm just looking around until we start to get busy. Once everyone's had their meal, they'll be looking for something sweet."

"Do you want a burger?" He's next up to order.

"Sure," I smile. "Can you carry everything if Masen and I go grab a table?"

At his agreement, I seek out a picnic table with room for three, sitting down with Masen on my lap.

"Are you having fun, Masen?"

"Yeah!" he yells. "Kitty?"

"The kitty's at home, probably sleeping. She sleeps a lot."

"Seep?"

"Like you do every night in your crib," I smile.

When Edward shows up with our food, I help him unload the bag. "I got Masen one chicken finger and figured he could share our fries."

"Works for me," I shrug, taking one of the sodas out of the cardboard tray.

"I like your outfit," Edward smiles.

"Yeah? I got this shirt a couple years ago at a store in Seattle." It's gray with screen-printed red, white and blue stripes to resemble a flag.

"I figured a red t-shirt was good enough," he laughs.

We've nearly finished eating when my dad wanders over. "Hey, Bells, I thought that was you. Who's your friend?"

Shit. I wonder about how to introduce Edward. If I introduce him as my neighbor, I'm minimizing who he is, as if I don't want to my dad to know we're dating. But if I call him my boyfriend, that may be way too forward for Edward right now.

I clear my throat. "Dad, this is Edward Cullen and his son, Masen. Edward, this is my father, Chief Charles Swan of the Forks police department."

"It's nice to meet you, Chief Swan," Edward greets him politely.

"You too, son," he says, shaking Edward's hand. "How old is the boy?"

"Eighteen months," he answers.

"Masen, can you say hi to the Chief?" I prompt him.

"Hi, Teef!" Laughing, I hug him to me, realizing that Masen's spot on my lap might imply that we're more than just friends.

"How's it going, Dad?"

"We need one more judge for the pie contest. I'm trying to find a good candidate."

"Maybe Edward can judge?" I suggest. "He's new to Forks, so he hasn't tasted any of the pies before."

"Except for your apple," Edward reminds me.

"So you can judge a different category," I shrug.

"You up for it?" Dad asks.

"Well, it's a good thing I only got the one order of fries to share, but sure," he laughs.

"Judging is in about two hours, so you should be ready by then," Dad replies with a wink. "Head over to that booth around 2:20." He points out where the contest will be held.

"Got it," he nods.

"I need to get back to work," I announce once Dad has walked away.

"All right. We're gonna check out the kids' area. Good luck in the contest." He kisses me briefly, then walks away with Masen.

For the next two hours, I sell cookies and scoop ice cream. The fair brings in people from all over Clallam County; it's usually one of our bigger sales days of the year.

I'm in the back getting more stock out of a box when Eric comes up to me. "Don't look now," he stage whispers, "but there's a gorgeous hunka-hunka looking for you."

Laughing, I grab the new box of cookies, then walk up to the cash register.

"Hey," Edward smiles. Masen is standing beside him, looking around. "Do you think you can watch Masen while I judge?"

"Sure," I nod. "How many cookies can I give him?"

"More than two and you're watching him tonight," he grins, handing me Masen's diaper bag. "Masen, go over with Bella." I laugh when he crawls underneath the table we have set up, then bend down and lift him into my arms.

"You are getting heavy," I complain once Edward has walked away.

"Something you need to be telling me?" Eric says, raising an eyebrow.

"That's Edward, my next door neighbor."

"You two seem a little chummy for neighbors."

I roll my eyes. "We've been dating for a few weeks. This is his son, Masen."

"Please to meet you, Masen. I'm Eric." Masen just stares at him with big eyes. Eric must be a sight to a little boy with his rainbow-dyed hair and multiple piercings.

We have a small plastic chair, so I set Masen on that, then grab one of the chocolate chip cookies to keep him occupied.

"I made that myself," I tell him, as if he cares.

"Where's his mama?" Eric asks.

"She died about a year ago, before Edward moved to Forks."

"Oh," he frowns. "So sad."

"Yeah… Saturday is the anniversary. I'm honestly dreading it."

After about a half hour, I hear my dad broadcast over the loudspeaker that the judges' votes from the pie contest have been counted and the winners will be announced in five minutes.

"Get on over there," Eric encourages.

"Come on, Masen! Let's go find Daddy." Taking his hand, we walk over toward the judging area, awaiting the results.

"Da!" Masen yells, running away from me once he's spotted his father, who picks him up and walks toward me.

"Good luck," Edward whispers in my ear.

Cherry pie is announced first, followed by berry — I don't place — and other fruits. I'm shocked when my chocolate chunk pecan pie takes the nut category. Edward has to push me on stage to accept my ribbon.

After the "all other" category, they announce the apple winner. That's always the most popular category, given how synonymous Washington State is with apples. When my pie wins for the fifth time in a row, I nearly cry as I accept my ribbon. It's so good to see my hard work come to fruition.

"Congratulations," Edward says, hugging me briefly after I walk off the stage. Little Masen doesn't know what's going on, but he jumps up and down anyway.

"Two wins this year!" I laugh. "Which category did you judge?"

"Cherry and nut," he answers.

"Oh! You did mine."

"Yeah," he nods. "I told them my girlfriend had entered a pecan pie, but since I'd never had your pie before and there were five other pecan entrants, your dad said it was fine. I have no idea if I picked yours," he chuckles.

I barely heard a word he said after he called me his girlfriend. Here I'd been worried about introducing him to my dad as my boyfriend and he just casually uses the term!

"Bella?"

"Y-you called me your girlfriend."

Edward's eyes widen. "I guess I did, huh? Is that OK with you?"

"More than OK," I assure him, planting a kiss on his gorgeous lips.

* * *

 **A/N** : So a couple big revelations there from Edward! He casually referred to Bella as his girlfriend, but the bigger admission was that he wants Bella more than his wife. Oh dear! Good thing he's seeing his therapist soon.

Congrats to Bella on winning the pie contest in two categories! I rarely make pies except for a chocolate cream pie recipe I got in eighth grade Home Ec. I've never made a crust from scratch though.

Next update on **Friday**! Finally the anniversary of Bree's death!


	32. Hold Me

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! Lots of anticipation — and some worry — for this one.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 32 – Hold Me_

I wake up on Saturday morning dreading the day ahead — it's the one-year anniversary of Bree's death.

As the week went on, I kept expecting Edward to start pulling away from me or something, but he did a great job of holding it together. He was maybe a little quiet, but I wasn't sure if that was due to the upcoming anniversary or the appointment with his therapist mid-week.

Last night, I asked him what he needed from me today and his answer was just… he needed me. He was planning to take Masen over to Alice's mom's house early this morning, saying he'd rather his son not see him like this. I completely understand.

After I've showered and dressed, I figure I'll need a cup of coffee to get through this day. I pour some into a thermos to take over to Edward's house as well. I remember how he takes it from our breakfasts on the book signing tour.

After feeding Sandy, I step outside and lock up. "Here we go," I mutter, making my way over to Edward's porch.

When he opens the door, I'm shocked to see he's actually dressed. He still looks terrible though — red, puffy eyes framed by dark circles, along with a two-day growth of beard. He's steps back to let me in, but doesn't speak.

"I've gotta say, I thought you might still be in your pajamas," I joke, trying to lighten the mood.

"I figured Mrs. Brandon wouldn't want to see that."

"Good point," I chuckle. "Um, I brought you coffee." I hold out the thermos for him to take.

"Thanks." He takes it from me and I follow him into the living room. He sets it down then suddenly pulls me into a hug. "I really needed that," he whispers as I squeeze him tightly.

There's a large plastic tote box on the floor in front of the couch. "What's in there?" I ask, nodding toward it as I take a seat beside him.

"Some of Bree's things," he replies. "They've been in the attic since I moved in."

"Can I look at them with you?" I ask hesitantly.

He nods, picking a large photo album from the box. "These are from our wedding."

I scoot closer so that I can see as he opens the album. The first close-up photo almost looks like a candid shot as Edward and Bree stand at the altar, repeating their vows. Edward looks gorgeous in a black tuxedo, his usually messy hair artfully arranged. And he looks so _young_. Bree looks radiant in a short-sleeved white gown, her hair in an up-do with wisps falling in her face.

He turns the page, and the next photo is similar, except shot from further away. I smile at Edward's green bowtie and cummerbund. Bree is wearing a gorgeous, white, mermaid-style gown.

"Your bowtie matches your eyes," I smile, looking up at Edward.

"Bree did that on purpose," he answers quietly. "She always said she loved my eyes. You'll see later, but her bridesmaids' dresses were the same color."

"I love her gown," I murmur. Sometimes when you look through old wedding photos, the gowns are hideous, but I suppose that was just the style in the 70s or 80s. Bree's would've only been purchased seven years ago.

"I have it," he whispers. "She had it preserved and it's in another box in the attic. I saw it when I brought this one down. It's all stuff Mom packed up for me, since I refused to ever set foot in our house again, so I had no idea what all was in there."

"Do you… have her rings? Or was she…?"

"She was buried with them on. It seemed wrong to take them off," he says, rubbing his own silver wedding band.

Edward slowly flips through the rest of the pages in his book. The groomsmen — his brothers plus another young man I don't recognize — wear tuxes matching his, while Bree's three bridesmaids look beautiful in satin dresses in that same lovely shade of green.

There's a shot with Edward's entire family, and another of Bree and a couple who must be her parents. "Oh, her parents are older than I expected," I comment, a bit shocked by her father's salt-and-pepper hair.

"Yeah," Edward nods. "They'd had trouble conceiving, so Bree didn't come along until nearly 12 years after they got married. I think her mom was 35 and her dad was around 40. Her mom had some health problems during her pregnancy and was advised by her doctor not to try again."

"That's sad," I frown. "And now they've lost their only child."

He flips through a few more pages and the wedding photos now give way to honeymoon photos of Edward and Bree on a beach somewhere.

"Where is that?" I ask nosily.

"Cancun. Bree's choice since she said she wanted a chance to use those four years of Spanish she took in high school," he chuckles.

"She got so tan!" I'm totally jealous.

"Yeah, meanwhile I had to use half a bottle of SPF 50 sunscreen every time I went outside."

"I would too, believe me." He gives me a small smile. "It looks beautiful there. I'm sorry I never made it to Mexico for Spring Break."

"It was nice," he nods. "We were at an all-inclusive resort."

Once we've reached the end of the album, Edward sets it on the table beside him, then reaches inside for the next item, which looks like a scrapbook of Bree's childhood through high school days.

"Some of this stuff… I feel like maybe Bree's parents should have it. I mean, not our wedding album, but things like this are probably more special to them," he explains. "They probably put it together."

Next, we look at a book documenting Bree's pregnancy with Masen, from the earliest ultrasound photo to his newborn photo in the hospital. "I should keep this for him," Edward says, his voice raspy.

"I think he'd love that one day."

* * *

By the time we've looked through everything in the box, it's close to noon. "Did you have breakfast?" I ask.

"Does a piece of toast count?"

"No." I wrinkle my nose. "It's a gorgeous day; do you want to get out of the house? Last night, I made up a picnic lunch for us."

Edward stares at me for a moment, finally breaking into a small smile. "All right," he agrees.

I quickly head back to my house, grabbing our lunch from the fridge and adding it to my picnic basket. "See you tonight, Sandy!" I call on my way out the door.

Edward isn't up for driving, so we take my truck toward LaPush. I decide to take him to Rialto Beach this time, since it's less crowded than First Beach. Picnic basket in tow, we head toward the picnic area, where we're lucky enough to find a table on a Saturday afternoon.

"This is awesome, Bella. Thank you… for everything," he smiles, opening the basket and taking everything out.

"I didn't have time to bake cookies last night, so I got those from the bakery," I apologize.

"Did you make them?" he asks.

"Well, yeah… but they weren't made especially for you."

"I think I'll live," he winks.

Once we've eaten, we take the picnic basket back to my truck and use the restrooms, then head off on the 1.5-mile trek up the beach to a rock formation called Hole-in-the-Wall. When we finally get there, the tide is still falling, giving us a chance to relax before we're able to go through the rock and look around the tide pools.

"So this is what you used to do with Jacob, huh?" Edward asks, crouching down to look at a starfish.

I laugh at the way he says Jacob's name. "Well, not _here_ , since we're separated from First Beach and the town of LaPush by the Quillayute River. But yeah," I shrug, "tide pools were fun when I was a kid. It's so funny the way you're jealous of Jacob."

"He seems to really like you."

"He's just kidding," I assure him. "I mean, he might've had a crush on me at some point when he was a teenager, but he was so much younger than me that I never gave him a moment's consideration."

"He's closer to your age than I am," Edward replies.

"Well, _now_ it's no big deal," I roll my eyes, "but you're the one I want to be with." I step closer to him and twine my arms around his neck, though I keep my kiss brief. I doubt he would feel right doing anything physical with me today.

* * *

After a few hours at Hole-in-the-Wall, we start the long journey back to the parking lot. I wish it was easier to walk on sand, but at least I'm giving my legs a workout.

It's after 6pm by the time we make it back to my truck. "Are you ready for dinner? There's a pretty good restaurant up by the fork in the road. They've got awesome burgers and shakes."

"I could definitely eat after all that exercise," he agrees.

After a five-mile drive, I park in the restaurant's lot. We order our food at the counter then take a seat while we wait. Our milkshakes are ready in just a couple of minutes.

"You're right," Edward says after a long sip, "this is really good."

"Told you! Don't ever tell my boss, but I think they're better than the shakes at the bakery."

Edward laughs. "Is that the guy with the brightly colored hair who was blatantly checking me out when I came looking for you at your booth?"

"Yes, that's Eric," I laugh. "He's harmless. And a very talented pastry chef."

Edward goes to pick up our meals when our number is called. Both burgers look delicious.

"Hey, Bella!" Seth calls out, coming up to our table a few minutes later. "I thought that looked like your old truck outside."

"Hi, Seth," I smile. "Um, this is Edward Cullen. Edward, this is Seth Clearwater, my future stepbrother."

"Nice to meet you, Edward," Seth smiles. "What brings you guys to my neck of the woods?"

"We spent the afternoon at Rialto Beach," I explain. "Are you here for dinner or did you just come in because you saw my truck?"

"Dinner," he answers. "Mom is out with your dad, and I can't cook at all unless it requires a microwave."

"Would you like to join us?" I ask, hoping Edward is on board.

"Sure," Seth smiles. "Let me go order."

"I hope that was OK," I say quietly once Seth has stepped away.

"It's fine. He seems like a nice kid. I do think he might be as tall as Jacob. What do they feed these kids around here?" I laugh, taking another bite of my burger.

Once Seth comes back, he pulls out the chair next to me. "What did you get?" I ask.

"Fish and chips," he shrugs. "I don't eat red meat anymore. Oh, hey, look." He pulls out his phone and messes with it for a few seconds before showing it to me. "I think I found Sandy's siblings."

The two kittens in the photo certainly do look like her litter mates. Neither has fur as long as hers, but they're about the same size. One of the two is the same color as Sandy, while the second is a brighter shade of orange.

"Did you find them at First Beach?" I ask. "They do look related to her."

"Yep, right by the parking area," he answers, turning the phone so Edward can see it, too. "Mom finally released me from house arrest last weekend, and I was able to go down to the beach and look for them."

"Did Sue let you keep them?"

"Nah, but Leah has them. The bright orange one is a girl named Lucy, and the other is a boy named Ricky. Leah got naming rights. Once we move to Forks next month, I'll be able to see them all the time, since her apartment isn't all that far from the high school."

I smile. "That's great that Leah was able to take them!"

"Yeah, she pretends like she's all tough and doesn't like anyone, but she's really a softie. She loves animals almost as much as I do."

"Seth wants to be a veterinarian," I explain to Edward.

"Oh, that's cool," he replies with a small smile.

"What do you do for a living, Edward?"

"I'm a writer."

"Edward has published two books," I say proudly. "His second book is currently in the _New York Times'_ Top 20 best sellers."

"That's really cool!" Seth exclaims.

Seth's number is called and he stands to pick up his food. "You guys don't have to wait for me to finish," he says as he sits back down. "You can leave if you have somewhere to be."

"I've seen you eat; you'll be done in less than five minutes." Seth grins, taking a big bite of his fish.

He is indeed done eating in about five minutes, so the three of us walk outside together. "You guys have a good night!" Seth calls, walking over to his car, which is nearly as old as my truck.

Edward is quiet and seems tired as I drive us home. He barely says a word. "Do you want to be alone now?" I ask as I turn onto our street.

"No," he replies quietly.

"OK, I'll just go feed Sandy then come over, all right?"

He nods. "I'll leave the door open for you."

Once I've put a bowl out for Sandy and used the bathroom, I lock my front door and walk over to Edward's house.

"What time do you have to go get Masen?" I ask, sitting down beside him on the couch. Soft music is playing from his stereo.

"Around nine."

"I could pick him up if you're not feeling up to it." It's only just past 7:30 now.

"Thanks," he smiles. "You really are good to me."

"Are you OK?" I ask, reaching out to rub his arm.

He shrugs. "You've done a good job of keeping me distracted, but I'm tired of pretending to be all right, tired of trying not to break down."

"You never have to pretend with me, Edward."

"Doesn't it make you feel bad? To see me upset about my late wife?"

I start to answer, but then close my mouth and really try to think about the question. "I understand that Bree was a big part of your life, and of course, she'll always be Masen's mother. It says a lot about you as a person that you loved her so much. I only feel bad for you and the way you're suffering."

"It's better now," he says quietly. "I mean, six months ago, I wouldn't have been able to look through her things at all. I feel like I'm living now and not just… functioning. But there's still this hole inside me. Something is missing. I just want to not feel like that anymore," he cries, tears forming in his eyes.

"I think… maybe it'll never heal completely. But you're still here, you're alive, and… eventually you need to pick up the pieces and move on with your life. Wouldn't Bree have wanted that for you?"

"I'm trying," he whispers.

"I know you are." I rub his arm in comfort. Edward rests his head on my shoulder, and I wrap one arm around him. His soft sniffles let me know he's quietly crying.

"You make me better," he whispers, taking my hand in his.

As the minutes tick by, we shift so that my back is leaning against the back corner of the couch, and Edward is lying half on top of me, his head resting on my chest. I lightly scratch my nails through his hair.

He turns his head to look up at me, green eyes staring into mine. "Will you stay tonight? Just to hold me?"

* * *

 **A/N** : Ooh look, another one of our rare cliffies!

Now that wasn't as bad as some of you were expecting, I imagine. A little reminiscing, a little distracting, and finally some crying and cuddling.

Since there's nothing to do on New Year's Day except for watching parades and football (and sleeping off a hangover, I suppose), I'll go ahead and update **Monday**.


	33. Want You More

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! We should finish up during the month of January, assuming I get off my butt and write the Epilogue.

 **Happy New Year!**

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 33 – Want You More_

"Stay the night… in your bed?" I stare at Edward in shock.

He nods. "If you don't want to, I—"

"No, I… I want to," I quickly interrupt. "I just want you to be sure."

"I am," he assures me, taking a deep breath. "When you're with me, I'm reminded of how… lucky I am that I moved in next door to you. I don't know if I would've been able to handle today at all if not for the fact that you're a part of my life."

He sits up, sighing. "My therapist wasn't thrilled with the way I handled things with you last weekend."

"Why?" I ask in confusion.

"He doesn't think _we_ did anything wrong, but… he pointed out that I'm so wrapped up in myself that I'm not very good at considering _your_ feelings. You're so patient and understanding with me; sometimes I'm not sure I really deserve that. I know I'm a mess and—"

"You're not a mess, Edward."

He shakes his head. "I can't sort out what's in my own head."

"Did you and your therapist talk about…why you can't keep your hands off me?" I ask cautiously.

He nods, but doesn't reply.

"And?" I prompt.

"He thinks I'm in denial. Our dating relationship is less than a month old, but I had… feelings for you before we even started dating. He feels that I'm more ready to move forward than I'll admit to myself. It's not _just_ physical, and that's why my desire is so strong."

My heartrate quickens as Edward speaks. I want so much more with him than just sex, but we really need to be on the same page. "Do you agree with him?"

"I'm coming to accept that my head is ready, as well as my body. I mean, I understand now that it's not a figurative slap in the face to my marriage if I find happiness with another woman. I know it's not _wrong_ to want you… especially now that a year has passed. I know that my impression that it was too soon came about partially because of society's expectations. If nearly everyone else thinks it's too soon for me to be dating, then it must be. Today means crossing some… invisible line in the sand," he shrugs.

"And your heart?" I ask quietly.

"It's getting there," he replies, taking my hand in his. "I'm scared," he whispers.

"Of what, sweetheart?" I squeeze his hand.

"If I let myself love again, I could get hurt again."

I frown. "Would you say that you wish you'd never fallen in love with Bree?"

"No, of course not!" he exclaims. "We had several happy years together, and she gave me Masen. I'll never regret that."

"So… it was worth the pain."

"I see where you're going," he says, tapping me on the nose. "What's the old saying? It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?"

"Exactly," I grin.

"I'm just a little gun shy right now, but I'm working on it, I promise." Leaning over, he kisses my lips softly. "I probably need to go pick up Masen now."

"I can do it if you want?"

"No," he shakes his head. "I'll get him. You… go home and do whatever you have to do to come back and spend the night."

"I never quite agreed to that, you know," I tease him. "But I would love to."

Edward stands, pulling me to my feet. We step outside together and I head back over to my house. I throw together a quick overnight bag with pajamas and some toiletries, then head back downstairs.

Sandy is sleeping in her condo, so I reach in to give her a few pets. "You be good, all right? Don't make me regret not locking you up."

When I hear Edward's SUV pull into his driveway, I step outside and lock up. He lifts Masen out of his car seat, then carries him onto the porch.

"Is he asleep?" I ask, walking across the two driveways.

"Yeah," he nods.

I follow Edward into the house, then set down my bag and retake my seat in the living room while he puts Masen to bed. When he comes back, he stands nervously in the doorway. "Um, do you want to watch a movie?" he asks hesitantly.

"Sure," I shrug, confused by his nervousness.

"Is it OK if we watch Bree's favorite movie? We saw it on our first date," he says with a sad smile. "She bought the DVD later and watched it all the time. I haven't… seen it in the last year. It's silly, but…"

"It's fine, Edward."

At my agreement, he looks through his DVD cabinet, then places the DVD in the player before coming to sit beside me. " _27 Dresses_ ," he says. "I let her pick the movie we saw."

"Smart man," I grin.

We watch the rom-com cuddled together on Edward's couch. I'm really glad it's not a tear-jerker. I've never seen the movie before, but it's cute and the leading man is a doll.

After the movie, I can tell that Edward has had enough of this day, so we head upstairs to bed. While he checks on Masen, I change in the bathroom and go through my nightly routine. I find Edward sitting on his bed wearing the same Bears lounge pants that he wore on the book signing tour — and still no shirt.

I can see him looking me up and down, but I was just checking him out, too, so I really can't complain. "I'll be right back," he says, standing.

I wonder if it's presumptuous of me to get into his bed first, but decide to go ahead and do it, so my legs are covered if nothing else. When he comes back, Edward turns out the light, then gets into the bed on the other side.

"Come here," he whispers, tugging on my arm until my back is resting against his chest. I reach up and rub his hand that lying against my stomach.

"I thought I was supposed to be holding _you_?" I joke.

"We fit better like this," he replies, kissing my shoulder. "Good night, Bella."

"Good night," I yawn.

* * *

I sleep unbelievably well in Edward's arms, until Masen's cries wake us shortly before 8am. While Edward checks on his son, I use the bathroom and brush my teeth, then dress in yesterday's clothes.

"Good morning, Masen!" I greet him when I step out of the bathroom. He holds his hands out toward me, and I take him from his father's arms.

"Can you watch him for a minute?

I nod, giving Edward a chance to use the bathroom.

"Ma?" Masen asks, looking up at me with big innocent eyes. I tickle his stomach.

"I'm not your mom, kiddo." Not yet, but if everything goes as I hope…

"Do you want me to make breakfast?" I ask Edward once he's emerged from the bathroom.

"Sure," he smiles.

I set Masen down then head downstairs to check out the contents of Edward's pantry and fridge. I'd like to make pancakes, but without Bisquick, I don't know any recipes off the top of my head. Instead, I settle on French toast.

"Mmmm… this is really good, Bella," Edward says, making me smile. "You can come make me breakfast every day."

I laugh. "Haven't I been teaching you to cook for months now?"

"You're still better than me. Isn't that right, Masen? You prefer Bella's meals to Daddy's." Masen just grins in response, maple syrup dripping off of his chin.

Once we've finished eating, I give Edward a quick goodbye kiss, then head home to shower and change before going to work. He promises to stop by the bakery with Masen sometime this afternoon since the weather looks good. It'll be the highlight of my day.

* * *

Over the next several days, Edward and I continue to see a lot of each other, whenever I'm not working. We share good conversation and a few kisses, but touching is kept to a minimum. Despite his claims that he now feels it's not wrong to move forward physically, he seems to err on the side of caution. I'm really hoping that our upcoming week of togetherness will be exactly what he needs to lighten up and just let things happen.

I consider it a good sign when Edward nervously asks about getting rooms with just one king bed in the various hotels next week. Of course, I agree without hesitation. I mean, I don't know what the chances are that we'll actually get naked, considering Masen will be sleeping mere feet away. I'm probably not capable of being that quiet.

* * *

On Thursday, I meet the girls at the diner for our first real girls' night in four weeks! For the last two weeks, Alice and I have gone to see Angela, Ben and Chloe at their house, since Angela needed time to adjust to being a new mom. With Ben right there, there was no real opportunity for our usual gossip. Now that Chloe is three weeks old, Angela is starting to venture out more. She's breastfeeding, so the baby pretty much goes wherever Angela goes.

I arrive at the diner to find Angela seated in our usual booth once again, with Chloe beside her on the seat in her carrier. Angela stands up to greet me and I hug her tightly.

"You look great!" I exclaim. "Back to your normal size already!"

"Oh no, not at all," she chuckles. "I still can't button any of my jeans." She's wearing leggings under a long shirt.

I've just sat down when Alice shows up. She and Angela hug before she slides into the booth beside me. Our waitress drops off the drinks that Angela ordered for us, and we quickly place our dinner orders.

"So how has motherhood been this past week?" Alice asks with a smile.

"I think I'm finally feeling like myself again! Giving birth to a nine-pound human takes a lot out of you. I would almost say that I wish we'd induced labor two weeks earlier, when she was smaller, except that I'm glad I was able to finish out the school year."

"Were either you or Ben a large baby?" I ask curiously. I've heard that it tends to run in families.

"I wasn't," she shakes her head. "Strangely enough for a girl who's five-ten, I was just a bit over seven pounds. Apparently Ben and his brother and sisters were all pretty large though — over 10 pounds. I wish he'd told me that earlier!" she gripes, making us laugh.

"Anyway," she continues, "Chloe is a really good baby. She only cries when she's hungry or needs to be changed. I'm just not getting much sleep with waking up to feed her every few hours. I hope by the time we go back to school in seven weeks that she's sleeping longer.

"And of course, I'll be transitioning her to formula; it's not like I'll have the opportunity to take breaks and pump milk throughout the school day. I can just imagine if I start leaking and one of my kindergarteners asks what that wet spot is on my chest," she laughs.

We're still cracking up as our waitress sets our plates down. I look across the table to see that Chloe is sound asleep. If she can sleep through our laughter, she must really be out.

"Oh my gosh, I nearly forgot!" I exclaim. "Rosalie had her baby on Tuesday this week." I hurriedly pull out my phone to show them the photo that Emmett sent to Edward, who forwarded it to me.

"So cute!" Angela says. "What's her name?"

"Lily Rose."

"She's already got her daddy's dimples," Alice smiles.

"I know," I laugh. "I can't wait for them to visit Edward again so that I can see her."

"So how are things with Edward?" Alice asks. "I've been dying to get the scoop for weeks!"

"They're good," I smile. "He actually just casually referred to me as his girlfriend when we were at the fair last week."

"Oh my God!" she squeals, making me laugh.

"We see each other all the time, though usually Masen is with us. I know Edward tries not to hit up your mom for babysitting too much."

"Any more progress beyond kissing with tongues?" she asks, waggling her eyebrows.

"A bit," I reply, not really willing to go into details. "We'd been moving forward slowly, but he's kind of backed off in the last week or so. I mean, I'm sure the anniversary of Bree's death has had something to do with that."

"Oh! How did that go?" Angela asks, sounding concerned.

"As well as could be expected. Edward went through some of Bree's things with me, like their wedding photo album and a book chronicling her pregnancy. He wouldn't have been able to do that six months ago. Then I got him out of the house for the afternoon to go to Rialto Beach and make the trek to Hole-in-the-Wall."

"Oh fun!" Alice smiles. "I haven't done that in ages."

"I feel like he's almost there, you know? He's been physically attracted to me for a while, and now he's come to the conclusion that it's not wrong for him to move on with another woman. Like he said, sometimes our own feelings are affected by society's expectations. People talk if they feel a widow or widower has moved on too quickly, but now that it's been a year…" I trail off, shrugging.

"That is so true," Angela nods. "I don't personally know anyone who's lost a spouse besides Edward, but I've certainly heard plenty of talk among my dad's parishioners when they've felt an elderly widow was stepping out too quickly with a new man."

"Exactly," I agree. "Unfortunately, I think it may take a little longer for his heart to move on. He has feelings for me, but it's a big step to realize that he can love two women at once. I'm not sure that he'll ever _not_ love Bree."

Angela wrinkles her nose. "It feels like you're getting ahead of yourself. I mean, you've only been dating for a month. I don't think Ben and I said the L-word until we'd been together for three or four months. Yeah, yeah, I know you've known each other for much longer," she adds, waving her hand before I can argue.

"I know it's tough when you're in love with him," Alice says, patting my hand. "You've never _said_ it in so many words, but it's so obvious, Bella. You love Edward, and you just need to have faith that he'll get there too, one day."

"I do," I admit, tears pricking at my eyes. "I love both of them, and I want so much to be a permanent part of their lives."

"Then be patient," Angela says, "because I think they're worth it."

* * *

 **A/N** : A big revelation from Bella, that she's in love with Edward! Duran Duran have a distinct lack of songs with "love" in the title. One of them was totally inappropriate, and I'd already used it anyway.

Bella and Edward survived their night of just holding with no problem, though Masen did call her Ma again in the morning. And we learned that Edward got a bit of hell from his therapist over the way he's treated Bella.

Congrats to Rose and Emmett on the birth of their daughter! And not on the date of Bree's death, as Rosalie had feared.

Next update on **Thursday**! It's the start of the book signing tour!


	34. I Wanna Take You Higher

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! Bring on the book signing tour!

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 34 – I Wanna Take You Higher_

We have a 2pm flight on Sunday to the first stop on Edward's book signing tour: Las Vegas. His publishers had the brilliant idea that a signing in a popular tourist destination could perhaps spread word of his book all across the county. Any tourists that stop by or even just see the advertisements for the signing could mention it to family and friends in their hometowns. Of course, there are no bookstores near the Strip, so I'm not sure exactly how many tourists will just stumble upon it, but at least they'll see the advertising.

The three of set out for SeaTac early in the morning. After parking at the airport, we take a shuttle to the terminal, check our bags, and navigate the security line. I tried to pack lightly, I really did, but it's a whole week and I really don't know how much time we'll have to go out at night. I brought a couple of nicer outfits along with comfortable clothes, just in case.

Instead of just sitting at the gate after grabbing a quick bite to eat, Edward and I walk back and forth with Masen, while trying to stay out of the way of other travelers. At least one of us has to be holding his hand at all times to keep him from running off.

As it nears our time to board, I wrinkle my nose when I spot Jane waiting at the gate. I was really hoping someone else would be sent to babysit us this time out.

Since Masen is under two, he's going to ride on Edward's lap for the duration of the flight. He and I take our seats on one side of the aisle, while Jane is across the aisle in the row in front of us. Far enough away that I probably don't have to talk to her.

"Well, hello, cutie," the flight attendant smiles at Masen as she comes down the aisle to make sure everyone's seatbelt is buckled. "What's your name?"

"Masen," Edward answers for him.

"Nice to meet you, Masen! You look just like your daddy!" I laugh when the toddler smiles up at her flirtatiously.

Since Edward can't reach it, I get snacks out of the diaper bag when Masen starts to get restless, about halfway through the flight. Otherwise, he's remarkably well-behaved for 19 months old; he doesn't even kick the seat in front of him.

Upon landing in Las Vegas, we head to baggage claim to get our luggage and Masen's stroller, while Jane checks in at the car rental counter. It looks like she's going to be driving us around, as she usually does with their authors. Yay — not!

"Oh my God!" I exclaim as we step outside, making Edward laugh. It's like walking into a sauna! I quickly pull out my phone and tap on the weather app, staring in shock at the number — 109 degrees. I've only ever felt heat like this when I visited my mother in Sedona as a teenager.

Luckily, our rental car has good air conditioning, and the Las Vegas Strip isn't at all far from the airport. We're staying at Paris Las Vegas, which excites me since I don't know when I'll ever manage a trip to France to see the real Eiffel Tower. After checking in, we're rid of Jane for the night.

"So do you want to walk the Strip?" Edward asks once we've had a few minutes to relax in our room. Tonight is really our only chance to hang out together in Vegas. He'll be doing two signings tomorrow, and then we have a 6:30pm flight to San Diego.

I give him a look because the temperature is surely still over 100 degrees. It's only 6pm. "Let me change into shorts and then how about we eat first," I bargain, and he agrees.

There's a French-themed buffet in our hotel, which we eventually find after asking for help. This hotel is massive! The buffet costs over $30 per person — except for Masen — but we've got meal vouchers, so it's fine. And the food is absolutely delicious. I'm envious of some of the desserts, vowing to learn how to make French macarons.

Once we've stuffed ourselves, we step outside into the still-stifling heat and start walking north. Masen loves the outdoor "volcano" at the Mirage and Treasure Island's fountains. It's totally touristy, but we do the gondola ride together at the Venetian. Even with Masen riding on Edward's lap, it feels romantic. I can't resist smiling as we hold hands.

After the gondola ride, we begin walking back toward our hotel. Masen is getting pretty tired, so we forego checking out the hotels south of ours and just head back to our room.

I get changed into my pajamas while Edward is giving Masen his bath, then relax on the bed.

"You look comfortable," Edward laughs when they come out of the bathroom.

"I'm enjoying the air conditioning."

He smiles, setting Masen in the crib. I force myself to get up and go through my nightly routine, then get into bed, using just the sheet as a cover.

Edward joins me in bed after setting the alarm on his phone and setting it on the nightstand. He rolls onto his side, facing me, then reaches out to touch my side, just above my waist. "Is this OK?" he whispers.

"Of course!" Silly boy.

Very slowly, he leans down until his lips touch mine. It's a soft, non-sexual kiss, but coupled with our position in bed together, it's enough to turn my body into a live wire. I reach up to gently grasp the back of his neck, pulling him down closer to me. And when I feel his weight on me, I can't control my moan.

That's enough to encourage Edward to slowly move his hand up my side until his thumb brushes over my right nipple. Our kiss deepens and I wrap my other arm around his bare back, just wanting to touch his skin. We kiss until I'm breathless, though he never makes a move to really take it any further. I can feel his erection against my hip, but I don't dare touch it unless he asks me to.

"You feel so good," he groans, dropping kisses along my jaw and neck. "Can you be quiet?"

My eyes fly open. "Wh-what did you have in mind?"

He lifts his head, and I can just make out his grin from the lights shining through the window. "Let me touch you."

Yes! Though I can't sound too eager. "You don't even have to ask," I reply breathlessly.

Edward grasps both sides of my pajama top and starts pushing up. I lift my arms obediently, letting him remove it. I have to bite my lip to hold in my moan when he takes my left nipple between his teeth. His hand squeezes my other breast, and it's so, so good.

Just as I start to wonder if this is as far as he's going to go, his hand begins wandering down my stomach and underneath the top of my shorts. "Please," I beg shamelessly when he pauses.

Sitting up suddenly, he begins pulling my shorts and panties down my legs until they're all the way off and I'm completely naked before him.

"Remember to be quiet," he warns.

At his first touch between my legs, I nearly fly off the bed. His finger slides effortlessly through the wetness before he slowly pushes it inside me. I moan quietly, just to let him know it's all good. After a few slow thrusts, a second long finger joins the first, stretching me a little.

"Edward," I moan, and he leans down to take my nipple into his mouth again. I tangle my fingers in his hair, brazenly spreading my legs wider as he continues to fuck me with his fingers. When his thumb joins in, pressing on my clit, I know it won't be long until he makes me come.

"So g-good," I pant.

Suddenly his mouth covers mine, swallowing my moans as I shatter around him. His fingers continue their assault, letting me ride out my orgasm. When he finally removes his hand, I try to catch my breath.

"Was that OK?" he asks quietly.

"Do you have to ask?" I laugh, reaching for him.

"No," he says, shaking his head as he grabs hold of my wrist to stop me. "Tonight was for you… I kind of owed you one."

"Were you maybe testing yourself? To see if you could touch me without triggering any guilt?"

Edward looks a little shy as he nods. "Yeah, kind of. And I could do it," he smiles. "I'm all good. I think… one thing at a time though."

He hunts down my clothes, handing them back to me so I can re-dress. I fall asleep happy and sated and with his arms around me.

* * *

In the morning, Edward has to get up fairly early so that he and Jane can travel to the northwest part of the city for his first signing. He kisses Masen and me goodbye, then I get dressed in a bathing suit with a casual sundress over it. Masen and I head downstairs to find a quick breakfast — no free breakfasts in Vegas — sharing a couple of pastries from a coffee shop in the hotel.

After breakfast, I change Masen into one of the swim diapers that Edward bought for him and we go outside to the pool, since I'd read in a review online that it's partially shaded in the morning. There's no child's wading pool, unfortunately, so I take Masen in my arms and walk around the big pool with him.

We stay out at the pool until an hour before we need to check out — we were able to get a late check-out, but only until 1pm. I take a quick shower and get dressed for the day, then call a bellhop to help me get everything downstairs, where I stow our bags.

Once that's been taken care of, I find a burger restaurant in the hotel for lunch. Since there's no kids menu, I improvise by ordering sliders and giving one to Masen, then split my fries and strawberry-banana smoothie with him.

I really want to go up the half-size replica of the Eiffel Tower, so that's our first stop after lunch. I have no interest in going outside during the hottest part of the day, so I push Masen in his stroller down Le Boulevard of shops. Most of them are upscale, far out of my price range, but it's fun to window shop, anyway.

When Edward texts me that they're on their way back, I get our bags out of storage and wait for him and Jane to pick us up to go back to the airport.

The flight to San Diego is short, so we decide to wait until we've made it to our hotel to grab dinner together. As soon as we've dropped our bags in our room, Edward pulls me in for a kiss. "I've been wanting to do that for the last three hours," he says.

"Why didn't you?"

He shrugs. "Do you care if Jane knows we're together?"

"Absolutely not," I grin. In fact, I'd kind of like to flaunt it in her face.

Since the weather is about 30 degrees cooler than in Las Vegas, we decide to walk a few blocks down to a large shopping center which has several restaurants. Edward's eyes light up when he sees the famous In-N-Out Burger, but I spoil his fun when I tell him that Masen and I had burgers for lunch. Hopefully, we'll be able to find another one for him later in the week.

We eventually settle on Olive Garden, since pretty much everything else is fast food. I haven't eaten in one of these in years, since I was in college in Seattle.

"So what did you guys do today?" Edward asks.

"Pool, Eiffel Tower, and shopping — window shopping," I clarify. "The prices were insane."

He smiles. "How did Masen like the pool?"

"He loved it! I wish they'd had some type of kiddie wading pool where I could've at least let go of him, but it was still fun. And shaded, thank God!"

Edward laughs. "I can see why you live in the Pacific Northwest."

"Yeah, the desert is no place for a girl born in the rainiest place in the country."

After dinner, we walk back to the hotel, and Edward gets Masen ready for bed. I try to relax, watching whatever I can find on TV, but I'm buzzing with anticipation — how far will Edward be willing to go tonight?

Once Masen is down for the night in his crib, Edward changes into his lounge pants. I love that he doesn't wear a shirt to bed. He lies down beside me, and I get brave, rolling on top of him so that I can easily touch his bare chest. He smiles up at me and crooks his finger, so I lean in for a kiss.

 _God_ , I really could just kiss him all day. Except that his hands are brushing up and down my back, squeezing my backside and making me want to just tear his pants off and sink down on him.

"Bella," he mumbles, pushing me away slightly. "Believe me, it's not that I don't want you, but… when we make love, I don't want to have to worry about not waking my son."

"I know," I groan, sitting up and sliding off of Edward's body onto the bed.

"Patience," he grins. I roll my eyes, but I already know that he's worth the wait.

* * *

In the morning, I have to get up with Edward so that we can check out of the hotel, since we're driving to Anaheim tonight. He and Jane then drop Masen and me off at Sea World to spend the day, while they do two more book signings around San Diego.

The rest of the week is a blur, driving up I-5 to Anaheim and then to San Bernadino the following day, before spending two nights in Los Angeles while Edward does signings in Burbank and Santa Monica. From there, we take a short flight to Sacramento, then later drive to San Jose and San Francisco for the last two book signings on Saturday.

Sometimes Masen and I just hang at the hotel pool, sometimes we go out and do something near the hotel, and sometimes we come along to the bookstore and find something to do in the surrounding area, depending on what's available in each location. Whatever it is, I have a great time with Masen; he's such a happy, fun little boy. I'm mistaken for his mother more than once, but I really don't mind when Edward isn't around.

With all of the traveling, Edward and I get very little time to ourselves, unfortunately. We manage dinner together every night, only having to "enjoy" Jane's company once, when we stop at In-N-Out on the drive to San Jose. I make it a point to kiss Edward in front of her and hold his hand at every opportunity, once he's given me the go-ahead.

Alone at night, we kiss and touch and sleep in each other's arms, but Edward stubbornly refuses to go any further with Masen in the room. I don't blame him; I'm just horny.

We could fly home from San Francisco on Saturday night with Jane, but Edward had offered to pay for a hotel that night to give us a little time to do some sightseeing _together_ before flying home early Sunday afternoon.

After the afternoon signing, we check in to our hotel just a few minutes' walk from the famous Pier 39, and as I step into the room, I look around in confusion. "Where's the bed?" I ask.

"In the bedroom," Edward laughs. "I got us a suite… so we can be as loud as we want."

* * *

 **A/N** : Yes, yes, another cliffie!

Sorry if you're disappointed that I skimmed over much of the tour. I thought it would get really boring to cover a week in as much detail as the first tour. Bella and Masen did their own thing all day, then had dinner with Edward every night.

We've definitely crossed from our happy PG right over PG-13 to an R rating, as Edward tested himself by paying Bella back for that dry hump incident before he freaked out. And now he's booked them a suite for a romantic night in San Francisco.

It'll be mentioned in the next chapter, but for those wondering, Sandy is with Leah and her siblings for the week!

Next update on **Monday**.


	35. Skin Trade

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! The last few chapters seem to be down a bit in terms of the number of readers, so hopefully everyone will be recovered from the holidays and able to catch up soon!

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 35 – Skin Trade_

A slow smile spreads across my face as Edward's words sink in: _we can be as loud as we want_. "Oh?" I ask, one eyebrow raised.

"Un-unless you don't want to."

Stepping closer, I twine my arms around his neck. "I definitely want to," I reply, before kissing him hard.

"Da!" Masen yells, and I reluctantly pull back from Edward. Masen has his face smashed up again the door to the balcony as he stares outside.

"You want to go out, buddy? You'll have to stay with Bella or me, all right?" Edward walks across the room, opening the door, then takes Masen's hand as they step outside.

I follow them onto the balcony, marveling at the bay view. "This room must've cost a fortune."

"All worth it," he smiles.

I stay out on the balcony with Masen while Edward changes into more casual clothes. Once he's ready, he takes care of Masen's diaper and then we head out to Pier 39. Masen just loves the dozens — maybe hundreds — of noisy sea lions that hang out by the pier. We walk all along the water before choosing one of the many, many seafood restaurants for dinner.

After dinner, we find the nearest iconic cable car for a trip to the Powell Station, before coming back toward our hotel. Masen thinks it's the coolest thing in the world. Truth be told, I think it's pretty cool, too.

It's long past Masen's usual bedtime when we get back to the hotel. Edward gets him ready for bed, while I try to build a playlist for tonight on my iPhone. Despite having a door between us and Masen, I think a little music will help to keep him from overhearing anything he shouldn't.

I look up at Edward and smile when he comes out of the bathroom with Masen. He always looks hot in a t-shirt, but it's the look on his face that really gets me — he's looking forward to tonight as well.

Once Masen is down for the night in the crib, Edward steps back into the bedroom, closing the door behind him. The look on his face is one of a predator facing his prey.

"Let's take a bath," he suggests.

"I like the way you think," I grin, setting my phone down. There's a huge whirlpool tub in the bathroom.

I follow him into the bathroom, looking around while he starts the water running. "I wish they had candles," I complain. When I realize the light switch has a dimmer, I turn it down to the perfect brightness to fit the mood.

"Probably a fire hazard in this old building," he laughs. Satisfied with the water temperature, Edward straightens up, walking over to me. Staring into my eyes, he grasps the bottom hem of my shirt. As he lifts it up, I raise my arms until he's pulled it over my head. Tossing my shirt aside, he traces along the top of my bra with one finger, and I can feel my heartrate speed up.

Reaching behind my back, Edward unhooks my bra, then slowly pulls the straps down my arms, dropping it on the floor. He gently reaches out for both of my breasts, holding their weight in his palms while his thumbs tease my nipples.

Peeking over at the tub, he shuts off the water, then spoils my fun by pulling his shirt over his head without my help.

"I wanted to do that," I pout.

"Sorry," he laughs, reaching for the button on his jeans. I try not to drool as Edward's pants and boxers come off. His cock is semi-hard and… very impressive. I really only saw it briefly the first time we were together.

Once I'm through staring, I take my own pants off then take Edward's hand when he reaches out for me. I step closer, wrapping my arms around his neck. I'm not sure which one of us moves first, but suddenly we're exchanging deep kisses as Edward's hands squeeze my backside.

"The water's gonna get cold," he says against my lips, and I reluctantly let go of him. He climbs into the tub first, and then I follow, sitting between his outstretched legs. There's plenty of room in here for both of us. I let out a deep breath when he turns on the whirlpool jets.

I lean my head back against Edward's shoulder and he wraps his arms around me. We stay like that for several minutes, just relaxing, until I can't stand to not be touching him. Turning my head, I search out his lips again. His hands on my torso shift, fingers pulling and twisting at my nipples until I feel they could cut glass. I whimper when his left hand leaves my breast, sliding down my stomach until he's touching exactly where I need him.

Not slowing the movement of his fingers, Edward brings his other hand up to touch my face as he pulls his lips away from mine. I suck his finger into my mouth, loving the look of lust on his face.

"I need you to touch me," he whispers. "I'm going to come embarrassingly fast if I don't…" He trails off, but I get his point — after so many months, he needs to come before we have sex or it'll be over almost before it starts.

Getting up to my knees, I turn around, sitting on Edward's thighs. I place my hands on his shoulders, then slowly drag them down his chest and stomach. He sucks in a breath when I wrap my hand around his hard cock.

Edward grasps the back of my neck, pulling me closer for a kiss, as I slowly jack him off. It would be so easy to just position his cock and slide down on it, but I know he doesn't want our second "first time" to be a quickie in the bathtub.

"Fuck," he groans, throwing his head back. I lick along his jaw, loving the sounds of his pleasure. Letting my other hand join in, I massage his lower stomach and balls, then use both hands on his cock.

"I'm so close," he pants, and I speed up my efforts, absolutely loving the look on his face when he comes.

He lets out a breath, resting his head on my shoulder, as I stroke my hands up and down his back.

"Are you all right?" I whisper.

He lifts his head, nodding, and I can't resist kissing him, until I realize the mess we've probably made in the water.

"Should we take this into the bedroom?" I suggest, and he nods his agreement, reaching over to shut off the jets. Standing, I take one of the fluffy towels, then step out onto the bathmat.

Once we're both dry and the tub is draining, Edward takes my hand and leads me to the bed. I pick up my phone and set it into the clock-radio docking station, touching the screen until my playlist starts.

"Mood music?" he asks, smiling as he lies on the bed watching me.

"And to cover any noises we might make," I shrug. I lie down on the bed, and Edward rolls on top of me. He takes my lips in his, kissing me until I think I'm going to lose my mind.

"I love the way you kiss," I moan as his lips begin their path down to my breasts. "And I love that," I add when he takes one pebbled nipple into his mouth. I can feel his smile against my skin. It's on the tip of my tongue to tell him that I love _him_ , too, but I'm not sure how he'd feel about that right now.

Once he's thoroughly enjoyed my breasts, Edward begins placing kisses down my stomach. He gently spreads my legs, running two fingers along my slit before pressing them inside.

"Do you want my mouth on you, Bella?" he asks teasingly, his mouth so close that I can feel his warm breaths.

I whimper when he doesn't wait for my agreement before taking a long lick between my legs. His tongue probes and licks and generally drives me crazy, while his fingers slide in and out of my entrance. Oh, he knows how to please a woman.

Grasping the sheets, I throw my head back, giving in to the intense pleasure. "Oh God!" I scream as the waves of my orgasm crash over me again and again. Edward never misses a beat though, continuing his ministrations as I try to catch my breath.

Finally he slows down, looking up at me with a grin, his fingers still inside me. "That was so beautiful, watching you come. Are you ready for me now?"

"Bring it on," I pant.

Smiling, he pulls his fingers out, then grasps his hard cock in his hand. I spread my legs wider, inviting him in. My eyes nearly roll back in my head as his cock slowly pushes inside. As he leans in closer, I wrap my arms and legs around him, anchoring him to me.

Edward stops once he's all the way in, and we gaze into each other's eyes. I'm sure that my eyes are screaming out my love for him so blatantly that he must be able to see it.

"You feel so fucking good," he whispers. "Can I move?"

I nod, unable to speak, moaning in pleasure as he pulls nearly all the way out before pushing in again. He increases his pace with each thrust, dropping kisses all along my collarbone.

Grasping my hands, he holds them up above my head, his thrusts coming faster and harder until I'm screaming and shaking through my second orgasm of the night.

"Oh fuck… so tight…" he pants, his thrusts becoming erratic until he freezes, coming deep inside me.

Edward collapses on top of me, breathing as hard as I am. I lazily bring my hand up, scratching my fingers through his hair. "Edward?" I whisper, waiting until he's lifted his head before I continue. "I love you.

"You don't have to say it back," I continue when he just stares at me. "I know you're not there yet, but… I just want you to know that I'm all in. What we just did… I want that and so much more with you, whenever you're ready."

"Thank you… for not pushing," he says, rolling off of me.

I smile at him, sliding out of bed. "I need to go clean up."

I go through my nightly routine in the bathroom, then pick up my panties from the floor. When I'm done, I step out to Edward watching my every move.

"Don't put those on," he says, as I start rummaging through my bag for my pajamas. "I want to feel you against me."

"All right," I smile, walking over to the bed. I turn off the music, climbing into bed as Edward takes his turn in the bathroom. He comes back out in just his boxers, sliding under the sheets and pulling me into his warm chest.

"Are you doing OK?" I ask quietly. He seems to be, but I need to be sure.

"I'm more than OK, I promise." He kisses me softly, and I lay my head on his chest.

* * *

The night is full of sexy dreams of what I want to do with Edward when we wake up. Perhaps I could pull his cock out of his boxers for a morning blowjob, or maybe just slide down onto him as I wanted to do last night.

Alas, my dreams and my sleep are shattered by a loud cry from the other room.

Groaning, Edward gets up to go check on his son. It's late enough that the sun is up, so I reluctantly sit up in bed, making sure my naked breasts are covered by the sheet.

"He needs changing," Edward announces unnecessarily, carrying his son into the bathroom. I stay in my place until they come out again.

"Do you want to shower and get ready? I can start packing up."

"Sure," I agree. He takes Masen out of the bedroom, so I get out of bed and find some clothes for the day.

After my shower, it's my turn to keep an eye on Masen while I dry my hair and Edward showers. He really wants to go out on the balcony again, but I can't take the blow dryer out there! I also need to pack up my suitcase.

A quick check of the weather app on my phone shows that it's much cooler than yesterday, so we find jackets to put on, then bring our luggage downstairs to check out, leaving our bags with the bellhop.

The maps app tells me there's a diner just one block over, so we decide to get breakfast there. We heed our waitress's warning that the portions are huge and just let Masen eat a sampling from our plates. It turns out to be a good decision, as there's no way I could finish my Belgian waffle covered in fresh fruit by myself. At least we've discovered that Masen loves strawberries.

After breakfast, we visit Aquatic Park to let Masen run off some steam. He'll be cooped up in a plane or car for most of the day. There's no playground, unfortunately, but the park is right along the water and has a small beach. He has a great time anyway.

Edward and I hold hands the entire time, probably annoying others with our PDA, but I really don't care since I'll never see any of these people again.

We pass on the Maritime Museum and instead stop in at the Ghirardelli Ice Cream & Chocolate Shop. At least it's been about two hours now since breakfast — and there's always room for ice cream. I devour my caramel and hot fudge sundae, while Edward shares some of his humongous banana split with Masen. Of course, Masen hopped up on sugar is _exactly_ what we need this afternoon.

"You've got some chocolate right here," Edward says, pointing to a spot just below his lip. I wipe at my lip but apparently miss the right spot. "I'll help," he suggests, licking the chocolate up with his tongue. We kiss for a few moments once he's finished. How long until I can be alone with him again?

We head back to the hotel to pick up our bags, and Edward calls for an Uber on his phone to take us to the airport. There's of course no such thing in Forks, but he's had the app since he lived in Chicago. Luckily, he can request a vehicle with a car seat for Masen.

Once we get Masen strapped in, it's off to the San Francisco airport. We check our bags and navigate the security line, then try to keep Masen entertained while we wait for our flight to board.

After the flight, we take the parking shuttle to Edward's car and begin the four-hour drive home, stopping at a fast food place for dinner before we leave the Seattle area.

As we get closer to Forks, I send a text to Leah to let her know I'll be home soon. She's been babysitting Sandy while I was away. I'd initially asked Alice to do it, but since Leah adopted Sandy's brother and sister, I thought she might enjoy going to "kitten daycare" for a week and hanging with her litter mates.

"Are you coming over?" Edward asks as he turns onto our street, rubbing his hand on my thigh. "Masen should be asleep soon." I peek into the backseat, where he's barely keeping his eyes open now. It's after 9pm, so he's usually in bed by this time.

"Let me unpack and wait for Leah to drop off Sandy, and then I'll come over," I suggest. I know exactly what he has in mind, and I'm not the slightest bit opposed to the idea. Having my boyfriend living right next door is going to _very_ convenient.

* * *

 **A/N** : There you go, their second first time, and Bella finally told Edward that she loves him! He isn't ready to say it back yet, however. And since someone asked last chapter, yes he's still wearing his wedding ring. He has no hesitations about being with Bella, however.

Masen interrupted Bella's morning plans for sexy times… pretty typical with a toddler, I think!

Next update on **Thursday**!


	36. The Sun Doesn't Shine Forever

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! I think most of you understand that Edward isn't ready to say I love you.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 36 – The Sun Doesn't Shine Forever_

Once Leah has dropped off my kitten, I sit and pet her for a few minutes. Sandy totally looks like she's judging me for daring to leave her for a week. "Hey, you're cute and all, but… Edward's a better kisser; his breath doesn't smell like tuna," I tell her, setting her beside me on the couch. "I'll be back later."

Edward opens the front door so quickly after I've knocked that I almost wonder if he was watching for me. He pulls me into the house and his lips are on mine within seconds.

"I've missed you too," I mumble against his lips. It's been a whole 30 minutes or so. "So we're watching a movie, right?" I start cracking up at the disappointed look on his face.

"You," he growls, pulling me into his body. "Let's go upstairs."

"I thought you'd never ask," I smile.

Edward takes my hand and leads me up the stairs. I close his bedroom door behind me, then immediately reach for his shirt.

"You spoiled my fun last night, but not today, Mister," I warn him, pulling it over his head.

"Yes, Ma'am," he grins.

Next, I open his jeans, tugging them down his body. Once he's free of them, I walk him backwards, gently pushing him onto his back on the bed. He grins as he looks up at me, but suddenly I get a stray thought.

"Is-is it OK?" I ask. "I-I mean… the bed," I stutter, worried that he'll feel guilty about having sex with me in the bed he shared with Bree.

I see a look of understanding dawn on his face. "It's not the same mattress," he says quietly. Oh! Duh, of course it's not — Bree was found lying on their bed in a pool of blood.

I start to reach for Edward's boxers, but he shakes his head. "Take your clothes off first," he suggests. Smiling, I do a little strip tease for him as I get naked, even if I do feel a little ridiculous.

Once I'm finished, I remove his boxers, then give his hard cock a few tugs. Bending forward, I give it one long lick from base to tip, then suck the head into my mouth.

"Jesus, Bella," he moans as I continue to work him over. I don't want him to come this way though, so I pull my mouth off with a pop after a couple of minutes, then position myself over the head of his cock.

I slowly slide down onto him, letting myself adjust to his size. He feels even bigger like this. "Please move," he begs.

"I aim to please, Sir," I smile, lifting myself up. I brace my hands on Edward's chest, and he plays with my breasts as I ride him. It's so, so good. As he gets closer, he begins helping me move, lifting me up and slamming me back down.

"Oh fuck," I choke out, my orgasm catching me completely off guard. Edward continues to move me just the way he wants until he groans out his release. I can feel his cock twitching inside me, and it's so fucking hot. I always used condoms with my previous boyfriends, and it's so different being able to feel everything with him.

I collapse forward onto Edward's chest, and he hugs me tightly, kissing wherever he can reach. "Can you stay?" he whispers.

"I kinda promised Sandy I'd come back later," I chuckle.

"I see how I rank," he mumbles sleepily.

* * *

In the 10 days or so after we get back from California, Edward and I spend almost all of our free time together. In the early evenings, Edward and Masen are at my house, allowing Masen a chance to play with Sandy. Once he's gone to bed, I go next door for some adult time. I rarely actually spend the night, since I feel guilty leaving Sandy alone so much, especially since she's taken to sleeping on my bed with me. I do have a spare bedroom, so perhaps Masen can sleep there occasionally once he's in a toddler bed.

The only tiny little blip in our happiness is that Edward hasn't yet returned my declaration of love. I'm trying really hard to be patient about that, but there's a part of me that worries he never will.

After working at the bakery on Thursday, I head straight to the diner to meet my friends. We actually missed last week, since Alice had come down with a nasty stomach virus — a hazard of working in a hospital. I figured that rather than sum up our trip twice, Angela and I would wait for Alice to get better before meeting for dinner.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" Alice stands up to hug me when I find her in our usual booth.

"Not 100% yet, but I promise I'm no longer contagious," she replies.

"Hi, guys!" Angela calls out as she walks toward us, carrying Chloe.

"Oh, she's awake!" I squeal as Angela takes her seat across from us.

"Yes! Do you guys want to hold her?"

I hurriedly nod as Angela unbuckles the baby. Standing, I lift her out of the carrier. "Hi, sweetheart," I coo, sitting back down with Chloe's head on my shoulder. Big dark eyes stare up at me. "She smells so good!"

"That's because she just had a bath," Angela laughs. "Massive poopsplosion."

We place our orders with our server, and then Alice demands some baby time, so I pass Chloe over to her.

"OK, spill it, Swan," Angela orders. "How did your trip with lover boy go?"

I can't contain my smile.

"That good, huh?" Alice says, waggling her eyebrows.

"The trip was chaotic and stressful and a lot of fun," I begin. "Masen and I had a great time whatever we did. He really liked the shows at Sea World in San Diego. I didn't get to spend as much time with Edward as I would've liked, since he was generally busy with signings all day. There was also a lot of travel involved, with a total of four flights and a handful of one to two-hour drives.

"The only real downside was that Jane from his publishers was our babysitter again. I did kinda flaunt it in her face that Edward and I were together, once he said I could. That was fun," I grin evilly.

"Anyway, sales of his book had kind of stalled out and started to drop, but they're picking back up again, so the trip was worth it from that standpoint. He got some great reviews from a couple of LA book bloggers who came to the signing and bought his book, which is what they were hoping for."

"That's all well and good, but you know that's not what we're asking about," Alice says. "Did you or did you not take your relationship to the next level?"

I can feel my cheeks heat up, and I know it gives me away from their comically wide eyes. "We did," I admit.

"On the trip?" Angela questions.

"Yes… for the last night in San Francisco, Edward got us a suite so that Masen wasn't sleeping a few feet away."

"Nice," Alice smiles. "I like a man who plans ahead."

"We'd taken some steps forward earlier in the week, but it was hard because we had to keep the noise down. I think it was for the best though, to let Edward work his way up to the big event, just to make sure there'd be no guilt."

"And was there?" Angela asks.

"Nope," I smile. "I think he's really and truly ready to move forward. I, um, told him I love him, but I let him know that he didn't have to say it back until he's ready. I'm trying to be patient with him. It's like, I'm this close to having everything a girl could want. Edward really is an incredible man. He's so talented, and I feel like one day he — or rather his pen name — is going to be a household name. Not to mention, he's sexy as hell and definitely knows how to please a woman. I've never had such amazing sex before."

Just as I finish my speech, our waitress brings our plates, and I feel my face heat up again, knowing she must've overheard that last bit.

Alice stands up to pass the now-sleeping baby back to Angela, who gets her settled in her carrier. Angela smooths her daughter's hair, smiling down at her. "It's going to be really tough to leave her and go back to work in four and a half weeks."

"Do you have Chloe's daycare all arranged?" I ask.

"Yeah, we're going to try a nanny. She's the widow of a lawyer from Ben's firm and raised five children of her own. She's got something like a dozen grandchildren, but all except one of her kids moved out of the immediate area. She's only 59 and feels that she'd still like to contribute in some way. I think she's spent most of the past two years since her husband died traveling around to visit her kids and grandkids."

"That's great," Alice smiles. "And with your teacher's schedule, she'll still have all summer off to travel."

"Exactly," Angela nods.

"Oh, speaking of grandchildren," I begin, "Bree's parents are coming to visit tomorrow."

"Oh!" Angela exclaims, eyes wide.

"Do they know about you?" Alice asks.

I shake my head. "Not yet. They're going to find out though."

"How do you think they'll take the news?" she asks.

"I-I'm not sure. Somehow I think they'll be less enthusiastic than Edward's family. After all, it's their daughter he's moving on from."

"But surely they wouldn't begrudge him his happiness!" Angela says. "I mean, he's still a young man; they can't expect him to stay single forever."

"At least I'm prepared for the worst. If they end up being OK with it, then… it'll be a pleasant surprise."

* * *

Edward sends me a text on Friday afternoon to let me know that Bree's parents have arrived for their four-day visit. It's such a nice day that they're planning to take Masen to the playground — after stopping by the bakery for ice cream. He's hoping to let them meet me now — and hopefully like me — then tell them later tonight that I'm his new girlfriend.

They're going to be staying in Edward's guest bedroom, which means no late night visits for the next few days. They would've stayed in a hotel, but none of the _motels_ or bed and breakfasts in Forks were up their standards, apparently. There _is_ one 3-star motel on the extreme north end of town, next to the Calawah River, but it's honestly pretty dated.

I hear Edward's voice as one of my coworkers takes their order at the outside window about 10 minutes after the text message. I'm working in the back today, making up the orders. Eric lets me take a 10-minute break, so I also make a dish for myself, bringing everything out to them on one of our trays with special slots for cones.

The elderly couple sitting at the picnic bench with Edward are impeccably dressed — not in suits or anything like that, but they look like they're going to church. The redheaded woman, who has obviously dyed her hair given that she's in her mid-60s, is draped in fine jewelry.

"Here you are," I smile. "Hmm… I think I know who the kiddie size strawberry ice cream is for." I set the cup down in front of Masen, along with a tiny spoon.

"Ben!" he greets me with a wide smile.

"Are you ever going to learn to say Bella, buddy?" Edward smiles. "I got the brownie sundae this time. Vickie got the cone."

Smiling, I hand the mint-chip cone to the woman, setting the other cup in front of the man, then take a seat next to Masen, lifting my own small sundae from the tray.

"Bella, these are Bree's parents, James and Victoria Tanner."

"It's nice to meet you," I smile politely.

"James and Vickie, this is Bella Swan. Bella lives next door, and she's been a great friend to me ever since I moved in — introducing me to people and helping with Masen whenever I've needed it."

"Oh, that's nice," the woman smiles.

Bree's father looks me up and down — I'm still wearing my apron — and I can tell that I don't quite measure up in his eyes. "Is this your only job?" he asks.

"No, Sir," I reply. "I'm a first grade teacher, but I've worked here during the summers since I was a teenager." He nods his head, and I feel like I may have gained a slight bit of respect.

Edward asks them about their trip as we eat our ice cream, doing his best to act casual around me and not let on that I had his cock in my mouth last night.

Masen finishes his small ice cream quickly, though as usual, half of it has ended up on his face. He's seated between Edward and me, so I reach for a napkin to clean him up, and he climbs onto my lap.

"Ma?" he says, staring up at me, and I hold my breath.

"What did he say?" Bree's mother asks in shock.

Edward sighs. "Bella has come along on my two book signing tours to help out with Masen, so they've spent quite a bit of time together. He occasionally calls her 'Ma,' though we've explained to him repeatedly that she isn't his mother."

"Exactly how much time have you all spent together?" Mr. Tanner asks, eyes narrowed.

"I—" Edward starts, before he closes his mouth, glancing over at me. I can read in his look that he wants to confess. They're so close to noticing something's amiss that it would almost be lying to not just tell them now.

"James, Vickie," he begins quietly. "Bella is my girlfriend."

Bree's mother nearly drops her cone. "Girlfriend?" she shrieks. "Why, Bree's body is barely cold in the ground!" And my heart sinks. This is exactly what Edward doesn't need.

"How long has this been going on?" Mr. Tanner asks.

"We've been dating since June," Edward answers, taking my hand and squeezing it. "Our feelings grew out of our friendship. It certainly wasn't something that I planned. I'm sorry — I was planning to tell you later tonight."

"It's so soon though," Bree's mother protests.

"It's been over a year," Edward corrects her. "Believe me, I struggled for a while to reconcile the feelings I was developing for Bella with my love for Bree. She was everything to me, but she's gone. I'm 29 years old; you can't expect me to be alone for the rest of my life."

I cheer internally at the way Edward is sticking up for himself. He clearly doesn't need me to do it.

"And most importantly, Masen _adores_ Bella," Edward stresses. "I could never be with someone who didn't love my son as much as I do."

"That little boy does need a mother," Mrs. Tanner says, wiping at her eye.

"He does," Edward agrees softly, "and he's chosen Bella. So have I, for many different reasons. She's an amazing person. I couldn't ask for her to be more patient with me, or more understanding. She's never once shown herself to be jealous of the life Bree and I had. Bree will always be an important part of my life, but she's my past and Bella is my future. Please try to respect that."

Edward's sweet words bring tears to my eyes. No, it's not the L-word, but it's nearly as good. He smiles at me, leaning over for a brief kiss.

"I, um, probably need to get back to work."

"Oh, right," Edward smiles, taking Masen from my lap. "I'll see you tomorrow?" I'm working until closing tonight, but tomorrow I'll be off early enough to go to dinner with all of them… as long as the Tanners are OK with it.

I nod, standing up. "Nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Tanner. Bye, Masen!" I kiss the top of his head before walking away.

* * *

 **A/N** : So things were going along very smoothly after the trip both personally and professionally — until Bree's parents arrived in town! They were initially skeptical of him dating again, but Edward defended himself pretty well. Oh Masen, what a time to call her 'Ma'!

Next update on **Monday**.


	37. Taste the Summer

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! Everyone was proud of Edward for sticking up for himself with Bree's parents.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 37 – Taste the Summer_

I know we're "just" going to The Lodge, but I still put on the one new dress I've bought this summer, hoping to make a better impression on Bree's parents than my work apron did yesterday.

The colors in my dress are light enough that I don't think cat hair will show, so I go ahead and sit down while I wait. I mean, I do vacuum the couch regularly, but Sandy has a lot of medium-length fur. When she sees me sit down, she jumps up onto my lap for some pets. "Now I'm going to have to go wash my hands," I admonish her, though I really don't mind.

When Edward knocks on the door, Sandy jumps down and escapes onto her cat tree.

"Hi," I greet him, throwing the door open. "I just need to go wash my hands." Hurriedly taking care of that, I grab my purse and keys.

"You look beautiful," Edward says, pulling me in for a kiss. "I really like that dress."

"That's what you said the last two times I've worn it," I joke, locking the door behind me. I'm secretly pleased though.

Bree's mother is waiting outside the SUV, and gives me a small smile as I step in, then climb as gracefully as I can into the third row of seats. She takes her place in the second row, next to Masen's car seat, and then we're off.

The drive to The Lodge takes less than five minutes. By the time I'm out, Edward already has Masen in his arms. He rests his hand on my back as we walk inside.

Edward made reservations so we're seated right away, in the same booth we sat in with Alice and Jasper. I think it works well with a high chair on the end, since it's a bit out of the way.

"So what's good here?" Bree's father asks, looking over the menu.

"I've never had a _bad_ meal here," I smile, "but the grilled salmon is my favorite."

He orders a bottle of wine and the calamari appetizer for the table when our waiter stops by, giving us another few minutes to choose our entrees.

"Masen, do you want fish sticks again?" Edward asks. Masen just stares at him. "One day I'm gonna ask and you'll actually have an opinion on what you want to eat."

I laugh. "If I remember correctly, they had awesome mac and cheese on the kids' menu here 15 years ago."

When we place our orders, Mrs. Tanner goes with my salmon selection. I decide to try crab cakes this time, just to try something new. You really can't go wrong with the fresh seafood near the coast.

"Bella," Mrs. Tanner begins, "am I to assume from your comment about the kids' menu that you grew up in Forks?"

"Yes, Ma'am," I smile politely.

"Are your parents still here?" her husband asks.

"My father is; he's the Chief of Police. My parents divorced many years ago, and my mother currently lives in Florida with her new husband."

"Have you always wanted to be a teacher?" Bree's mother asks with a smile.

"Not always," I shake my head. "After I started working at the bakery, I considered becoming a pastry chef, but I wanted a career where I could give back to the community."

"Teaching is a very noble profession," she smiles. "I spent my career in Human Resources."

"One of Bella's good friends teaches kindergarten at the same school," Edward says.

"Yes," I smile, "and the other is a nurse. She's dating Edward's brother Jasper."

"Oh!" Bree's mother exclaims.

"They met last December when his family was in town for the holidays and Masen's first birthday."

"I'm glad that your family has been out here, Edward," Mr. Tanner says.

"Yes," his wife chimes in, "we were worried about you moving so far away from your support system."

"So were they," he nods, "but I've found a new support system in Forks. I couldn't have survived the past year without Bella's compassion."

He smiles at me, squeezing my hand under the table.

* * *

After dinner, which Bree's father pays for, Edward drives us home. He invites Bree's parents to my house under the guise of letting Masen play with Sandy. I also baked one of my apple pies late last night, so I plan to offer that as dessert once everyone's dinner has settled.

"Kitty?" Masen asks excitedly once he sees where we're going.

"Yes, you can play with the kitten," Edward chuckles.

Stepping inside my house, l lead everyone into the living room. Sandy is sleeping on the couch, so Masen crawls up next to her, petting her gently. "He just loves her," I smile, shaking my head.

"How old is she?" Bree's mother asks, sitting on the loveseat next to her husband.

"A little over four months. Sandy just got her rabies shot last Tuesday, and she was five pounds two ounces! She's doubled in size since we found her over Memorial Day weekend."

"Oh, at the beach?" she asks. "We went to First Beach today, and Masen kept looking under every piece of driftwood, saying 'kitty'."

"Yes," I laugh. "We found Sandy under driftwood. How funny!"

Sandy jumps off the couch, so I fetch one of her feather toys for Masen to play with her. He runs around the room giggling as she chases the toy.

"Would anyone like dessert?" I ask. "I made apple pie last night."

"I do," Edward smiles, patting his stomach. "Masen, want some pie?"

"I'll fix Sandy's dinner, so he actually pays attention to us," I laugh. "I'd offer ice cream, but I don't have any vanilla. I'm not sure chocolate chip cookie dough goes with apple pie. Would anyone like whipped cream instead?"

At the chorus of yes votes, I get up and walk into the kitchen, first making up a bowl for Sandy. She's at my feet before I can even set it on the floor. Taking the cover off the pie, I cut four normal-sized slices, carefully lifting them onto plates. I bring the first two pieces to Bree's parents, then cut a small piece for Masen — minus the whipped cream — which I put in a bowl, hoping it'll be less messy.

"Here you go," I hand Edward a plate, leaving Masen's piece on the end table until he realizes what we're all eating.

"This is delicious, Bella," Mrs. Tanner says.

"Her apple pie has won first place for five years running now in the Fourth of July fair," Edward says proudly. "Actually she won in two pie categories this year. Bella is an excellent baker."

"Oh, how neat!" she smiles. "I remember when I was a kid, my mom used to enter her jellies and preserves in the Wisconsin state fair."

Masen finally figures out we're all eating, coming to investigate the plate in his father's hand. "Yours is on the table, buddy. Sit down to eat it so you don't make a mess."

"It's just apples; they're good," I tell him as he scrutinizes the contents of his bowl. I turn to Edward. "Since strawberries are his favorite, I guess I need to work on a strawberry shortcake recipe."

"I'm sure it'll be delicious. Bella made Masen a chocolate birthday cake last year. She made a cake for me, too last month."

"Oh, I really need to decide what I want to do for my dad's wedding cake!" I exclaim. "He and Sue are getting married later this week, and they're planning to have their wedding reception in the private room at The Lodge, two weeks from today."

"Are they still planning to elope?" he asks.

"Yes," I laugh. "They're combining the wedding and honeymoon."

"Where are they going?"

"He refuses to tell me!" I complain. "Leah — my future stepsister," I add for the Tanners' sake, "thinks they're going to Lake Tahoe, based on some printouts she saw in her mom's house."

"Oh, that's a lovely area," Bree's mother says.

"I've never been," I shrug. "At least it won't be 109 there like it was in Las Vegas!"

Edward laughs. "Are you still on about that? Never take her to the desert," he says to the Tanners.

"What were you doing in Las Vegas?" she asks. I wonder if she's worried _we_ eloped.

"It was the first stop on my book signing tour," he explains.

"Oh! I thought you went to California."

"The rest of the tour was in California," he nods.

"I saw your book is about to crack the Top 10," Bree's father says. "It's a hard way to make a living, but you've done well."

"I think he'll be famous one day." I put my arm around Edward, smiling at his blush.

When I see that everyone has finished their pie, I start collecting the plates to take into the kitchen. Masen is now sprawled out on the floor, cuddled up with Sandy.

"We should probably get going," Edward says. "It's about Masen's bedtime. Come on, buddy!" he says, standing.

"Noooo!"

"Mase, you'll get to see the kitten again soon. It's time for bed." He shakes his head as he lifts Masen into his arms.

I walk them all to the door, holding it open as they step onto my porch. "I'll see you later," Edward whispers in my ear, causing goosebumps all over my body.

Once I've shut the door, I head upstairs to change out of my dress and hang it up. I just put on a pair of pajamas, then curl up on the couch with a book… and a kitten on my lap.

Around 10pm, my phone dings with an incoming text.

 **I'm coming over.**

My eyes widen. I didn't think Edward meant later _tonight_! When he knocks on the door, I quickly move Sandy off my lap and rush to answer it. I'm greeted by a hard kiss as Edward slams the door behind him. I waste no time throwing my arms around his neck. Seconds later, he's lifting me up by my backside. I wrap my legs around him, not even caring where he's taking me.

Edward deposits me on my kitchen counter, his lips never leaving mine. His hands seem to be everywhere. I can feel him hard against me and I want him as badly as he seems to want me.

"You took your dress off," he whines, sucking on my neck so hard I'm afraid he'll leave a hickey.

"I… didn't want to have to wash it," I reply, barely coherent.

Edward lifts me off the counter, pulling my pajama bottoms and panties off in one swoop. When he reaches for his belt, I help him out, opening the buckle and then his zipper. He tugs his pants down then lifts me up again. I let out a scream when he impales me on his hard cock.

We kiss hungrily, and I pull and tug at his hair while he fucks me into oblivion. We've had sex several times since we got home from California, but it's never been this hot and passionate, like he _needs_ to be inside me or else he'll die.

"Oh God… Edward!" I scream as I come, shockwaves still rippling through my body when I feel Edward reach his peak. He takes a few moments to catch his breath before carefully lowering us to the floor, his cock still inside me.

"What did I do to deserve that?" I pant.

"Just being amazing," he says, smiling at me. "They were a tough crowd, but you won them over."

"Do they know where you are right now?"

He chuckles. "No, I left after they went to bed. Masen's door is open, so I know they'll hear him if he cries." He runs one finger along the edge of my pajama top. "I really wanted to fuck you in that dress."

"Next time," I promise him. He hugs me close, and as I lift my head, I see Sandy standing in the doorway, her head cocked to the side as she watches us. "Sandy! You weren't watching, were you?"

Edward turns his head, laughing when he sees her. Given our position, his laughter does something to both of us. "How about we take this up to your bedroom? I've probably got time for a second round before I need to get back."

"Best idea I've heard today," I reply, kissing him.

* * *

On our next girls' night, I arrive at the diner at pretty much the same time as Angela. I help her get a sleeping Chloe out of the car, then hold the door for her as we step inside.

"No Alice yet," she comments. Someone is in _our_ booth — the nerve — but the one in front of it is free.

Angela and I order drinks for the three of us and start chatting. When five minutes have passed with no sign of Alice, I pull out my phone to text her, but she walks in before I can send the message.

"Sorry I'm late, guys," she says, yawning as she sits down next to me. "I took a nap and lost track of time."

"Since when do you nap?" I ask.

She shakes her head. "I haven't been sleeping well."

"You're not still sick, are you?" Angela asks in alarm.

"I don't know, maybe. Some days are better than others."

"Maybe you should see a doctor," I suggest. I feel silly telling that to a nurse, but she's been sick for two weeks now.

"Maybe these long shifts are finally catching up with me," she shrugs. "I'm just dragging until noon or one o'clock every day."

"Uhhhh… scratch Bella's advice," Angela says. "Maybe you should take a pregnancy test."

Alice laughs out loud. "I'm not pregnant."

"Are you sure?" Angela asks, raising an eyebrow. I have to agree with her — Alice's symptoms almost sound like pregnancy symptoms.

"Yes, I'm sure!" she swears. "I've had an IUD since just before my senior year of college, so four years now. Those things last like five or six years, right?"

"Yeah, the one I had lasted five years," Angela confirms. "IUDs are highly effective, but you know nothing is foolproof. Have you missed any periods since Jasper was last here?"

"I don't get periods," Alice says, shaking her head. "They disappeared completely after a couple of years with the IUD."

"Maybe I should try that," I chuckle. My periods are pretty light with birth control pills, but none at all would be awesome.

"Seriously, go buy a test on your way home, just to put my mind at ease," Angela insists.

"Fine." Alice rolls her eyes. "I still think it's exhaustion or something."

"Earlier you thought it was a stomach virus," I remind her.

"Yeah, but I haven't thrown up since the very beginning. Mostly I just feel… off." She shrugs again. "Anyway," she waves her hand, "how did the visit from Bree's parents turn out?"

"Well, they were definitely upset at first to learn that Edward was dating again 'so soon'," I add in air quotes, "but… they came around. He did a great job of defending our relationship. I was so proud of him," I gush. "It means that he really believes he's not in the wrong."

"That's great," Angela smiles. "No L-word yet, I take it?"

"No, not yet," I sigh. "He said some awfully sweet things though."

"How long were they in town?" Alice asks.

"Friday through Monday. They left for Seattle on Monday, since they had an early flight home on Tuesday morning. Edward said they've promised to visit more often. And he agreed to consider taking Masen to see them. They live in a suburb of Milwaukee, not in Chicago, but it's a lot easier to fly to Chicago than Milwaukee, so he'd possibly still have to deal with it."

"Well, at least Masen will have your parents close by as additional grandparents," Angela smiles.

" _Now_ who's getting ahead of herself?" I smirk.

* * *

 **A/N** : I was stuck on a title for this one until I realized they were always eating.

Bella won over the Tanners, Masen had some fun with Sandy, and Edward got a little frisky after dinner!

And, Angela and Bella think Alice might be pregnant. Only one of you ( **KDMCAM** ) suggested that after the previous chapter.

Next update on **Thursday**!


	38. Girl Panic

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story so far! Getting close to the end now.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 38 – Girl Panic_

Two days after our girls' night, I'm working at the bakery on Saturday afternoon. It's a pretty slow day due to temperatures in the 60s and on-and-off drizzle. I hear my phone ding with a new text message, but I wait until I've gotten the cookies out of the oven before checking it.

 **Are you at the bakery? - A**

 _Yes_ , I reply to Alice. _I'm scheduled to work until closing, but it's pretty slow. Do you need something?_

 **I'll stop by then.**

I put my phone back in my pocket, then start mixing up another batch of cookies. Alice will occasionally pop by the bakery on summer days, if she's got a chance. She's really got a thing for our shakes.

"Your friends are here, Bella!" Brady, the Quileute teenager working the front window, calls. "I need a chocolate shake and an ice cream sandwich."

"On it," I yell back, a little surprised that Angela is here, too. At least that's who I _assume_ is with Alice. I grab just a jumbo peanut butter cookie for myself, then carry everything outside to them. Luckily we have umbrellas to put up over the outdoor tables when the weather is bad — or too hot, though that rarely happens.

"Hey," I smile, seeing Angela and Chloe seated at the small round table with Alice. "This is a surprise to see both of you."

"Alice asked me to come," Angela said. "My other option was laundry, so I figured, why not."

"Here's your shake." I hand it to Alice, realizing for the first time that she looks terrible, with dark circles under her eyes. "Are you still not sleeping?" I ask in concern.

"I don't think I got a wink of sleep last night," she sighs.

"What's wrong?"

"Angela was right. I'm pregnant." My eyes widen.

"You took a pregnancy test?" Angela asks.

Alice nods. "And this morning I saw my doctor to see if she could confirm it."

"Wow…" I almost don't know what to say.

"Apparently my IUD came out, and I never knew it," she explains, her eyes downcast. "What am I going to do?" she cries. "Jasper and I haven't talked seriously about our future, but now there's going to be a baby involved in seven months!"

"Have you told him yet?" I ask gently. She shakes her head, wiping a few tears that have leaked out. "Well, I think that has to be your first priority."

"I agree," Angela nods. "Get on Skype or FaceTime or whatever with Jasper as soon as you can and tell him. There's no use worrying about anything else until you see how he reacts. Maybe he'll be thrilled!"

"Maybe," she sniffs. "I know he loves Masen. He wants children one day."

"Jasper's what, 31?" I ask. "He's not a kid. And he's making a doctor's salary. It's not like he's in no position to be a father right now."

"I guess. But he lives in Chicago!"

"Would you be willing to move if Jasper isn't?" Angela asks. "You survived four years of college in Seattle, so don't say you can't live in a big city."

She sighs. "A big city wouldn't be my first choice, but… I'd do it for Jasper."

"There you go," she smiles.

* * *

Later Saturday night, I'm lying naked and sated in Edward's bed, his arms wrapped around me. As my heartrate slows, my mind turns back to Alice and her surprise pregnancy. Jasper seems like a great guy — he's Edward's brother, after all — so I'm sure she's worrying too much about his reaction.

The question of their differing preferred lifestyles and the 2,000 miles separating their homes may be a different story, however. Yet I have faith that their love will be enough to work out some sort of compromise that works for both of them. I hate the idea of Alice moving to Chicago, or even Seattle or Port Angeles, but I understand if the slow lifestyle of Forks is _too_ slow for a city boy like Jasper. He and Edward are different in a lot of ways.

And then I start to wonder what Edward would do or say if I became pregnant accidentally. I believe he'd like more children one day, but knowing that Bree was pregnant when she died… well, I'm not sure how long before he'll be willing to get back up on that horse again. Though Alice got pregnant while using an IUD — due to a freak mishap — I know that overall the effectiveness rates are higher than for birth control pills.

"What's wrong?" Edward asks, pulling me in closer to his body. "I can almost hear the wheels turning in your head."

I roll over to face him, running my fingers through his hair. "It's nothing I can talk about; I'm sorry. You'll find out soon, I'm sure." I can't risk Edward telling Jasper before Alice has the opportunity to do so.

"Find out from whom?"

"Just… trust me. It doesn't affect us directly."

I can see his brow furrowed in the little bit of moonlight coming through the large windows. "Do you promise? I don't like keeping secrets."

"I promise. I don't like keeping secrets either, but it's not my secret to tell." Leaning forward, I kiss his pouty lips. "I should probably be heading back home."

"All right," he sighs. "See you tomorrow."

* * *

I check my phone every chance I get on Sunday afternoon, but no word from Alice. Getting off work at 5:30, I text Edward that I'm on my way home. I'm going to try my hand at making my own crab cakes for dinner for us tonight. Masen tried some of mine at The Lodge last weekend and seemed to like it.

I put some vegetables on a cookie sheet to roast in the oven for our side dish, then just as I'm getting all of my ingredients out, Edward knocks on the door. "Hey," I greet him with a smile as I swing the door open. "I was just starting dinner."

Masen darts inside to find Sandy while Edward pulls me in for a kiss. "If you want dinner anytime soon, we need to postpone this," I say against his lips.

"Fine," he pouts, following me into the kitchen.

"Kitty?" Masen calls, standing in the kitchen doorway.

"Is she not down here? She might be upstairs asleep on my bed."

"I'll go look for her," Edward offers. While he's gone, I grab the remaining items from the fridge and start adding everything to a large bowl.

"Found her," he announces a few minutes later. "Right where you said to look. Anything I can do to help you now?"

"I need one-third cup of crushed crackers. Can you crush some?" I point to the box of crackers.

"Sure," he smiles. Meanwhile, I start heating up the oil in a large frying pan.

Once the crab cakes are formed, I add them to the pan and while they're frying, mix together a quick sauce.

"These are good," Edward says once we've sat down to eat. "Have you made them before?"

"No, I just Googled some recipes this week," I smile.

About halfway through our meal, Edward clears his throat, looking up at me. "So, um, I think I know what you didn't want to tell me last night." I raise an eyebrow. "I spoke to Jasper this afternoon. He said Alice is pregnant."

"I'm sorry," I apologize. "I just couldn't take the chance of you saying something to Jasper before Alice could."

"I wouldn't have, but I understand," he smiles. "So… how did that happen? I mean, I know _how_ …"

"Her IUD came out of place," I explain. "A freak thing, really. I mean, it does happen, but usually a woman will notice. Alice admitted that she'd gotten a bit complacent and hadn't been checking every month that it was still in place, as you're supposed to."

"Finish your plate and you can go play with the kitten, all right?" he says to Masen, who's doing everything but eating the vegetables left on his plate.

Edward clears his throat. "You're… on the Pill, right?"

"Yes," I nod. "I take one every night before bed."

He nods, seemingly thinking hard. "Birth control pills aren't quite as effective as other methods, right?"

I shrug. "They're about 99% effective when taken correctly, but I think IUDs are over 99%, yeah."

"When taken correctly," he repeats. "Bree got pregnant again because she'd forgotten to bring a new packet with us on vacation."

"What are you getting at, Edward?" I can tell this conversation is leading somewhere.

"I… talking to Jasper today, I nearly had a panic attack. It's not that I don't want more children, and it's not that I wouldn't want them with you, but… Bree died less than a week after we discovered her pregnancy. I'm not sure how well I'd do if…"

"If I were to accidentally get pregnant?"

He nods. "I know it's something I'll have to talk to my therapist about."

"So you'd like me to look into a less error-prone method?" Honestly, I've been considering discussing the pros and cons of an IUD with my doctor since Alice said she hasn't had a period in two years.

"You would do that for me?" he sighs.

"It's for me too, in a way. I mean, I know that accidents happen. I was an accident myself," I snort. "My parents ended up getting married and look how that turned out."

"I didn't know that," he whispers.

I shrug. "I don't talk about it much, but… I definitely believe in doing everything you reasonably can to prevent pregnancy until it's for the best time for both parents. I'll talk to my doctor, OK?"

He reaches out, squeezing my hand.

* * *

Alice walks in only two minutes late to our next girls' night. She still looks a bit frazzled, but not nearly as bad as she looked last Saturday. I stand up to hug her tightly, and then Angela does the same.

"Has Jasper made it yet?" I ask. She texted me in earlier in the week to say that he was planning to fly out here as soon as he could.

"Yes," she answers. "He got here maybe 90 minutes ago. He's currently asleep on my couch, since he went straight from an overnight shift to the airport."

"So… he took it well?" Angela asks.

"He was definitely in shock," she chuckles softly. "I mean, we had this discussion back in March — I've got an IUD, both of us are clean and get tested regularly, we don't need to use condoms, yadda yadda. The whole issue of birth control was never spoken of again, since we assumed I was covered for another year or so."

"But… he wasn't upset?" I clarify.

"No," she smiles. "He's spent enough time with Masen and now Lily to know that he wants kids one day. Maybe this was sooner than he expected, but like you said, Bella, it's not like he's in no position to be a father."

"I told you that you were worrying for nothing!" I exclaim, lightly punching her shoulder.

"Hey, don't abuse the pregnant woman," she jokes.

"It's good to see you smile again, Ally," I smile. "I don't think I've ever seen you so panicked before."

She sighs. "I don't know… I'm just so used to planning my life out. I mean, I was 12 when I said I was going to become a nurse, and I did it. I always said I'd get married at 30 and have my first child two years later."

"Well, I suppose the second one can still happen," Angela laughs, getting a peek of Alice's tongue in response.

"So now that Jasper's here, what's the plan?" I ask curiously, once we've placed our orders with our waitress.

"I've got tomorrow off, so we're just going to talk it all through, I think," Alice says. "He's here, so he wants the baby and wants to be a part of its life. The only question is _where_."

"Any hints from Jasper?" Angela asks.

"No," she sighs, "but then we really didn't talk about our living situation at all. When we FaceTimed on Sunday morning, he was mostly just worried about me. I know I looked like shit."

"Jasper works in the ER, right?" I ask, trying to remember what Edward said months ago.

"That's right," she nods. "I already checked and Forks General doesn't have any openings for an ER doctor, but he obviously did a rotation in other areas, and it hasn't been that long since he finished his residency in emergency medicine. He could potentially switch specialties, though I know he loves the fast pace of the ER."

Angela snorts. "I doubt the Forks ER could ever be considered fast paced."

"Good point," I laugh, then sober when I see Alice's face fall. "That doesn't mean he'd never consider moving to Forks."

"I don't want to leave you guys," she sighs.

"I don't want you to leave either." I reach over and hug her again.

* * *

Edward and Masen come over after I get home from the diner so that Masen can play with Sandy. She's getting really good at jumping up to reach the feather as he holds the stick in his hand. Edward and I watch the action cuddled together on my couch.

"Have you talked to Jasper?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "Not since Sunday. He sent me a text today to let me know he'd made it to Alice's house."

"Do you know what he's thinking about… their living situation?"

Edward laughs, turning to face me. "So you wouldn't give me the inside scoop about Alice's pregnancy, but you're hoping I can tell you what Jasper's thinking?"

I shrug. I know he's got a good point. "You were the one who didn't want us to keep secrets. And… I do agree that's healthier for a relationship."

"I do too… though Jasper and I really haven't talked about it.

"I know he loves Alice," Edward continues. "And I know he really enjoys his job. If he had to pick between them, I think love would win out every time."

I smile. "I know that Alice would move to Chicago before she'd let Jasper go, but… she and I have been best friends since we were four years old. Selfishly, I'd really miss her if she moved even to Seattle."

"And I'd love to see my brother move closer. I do miss my family, but for my own mental health, I had to leave Chicago. I'm really glad I chose to move to Forks though," he says softly.

His lips are mere inches away, and I can't help but lean over and kiss them. I lose track of time as we exchange sweet kisses, until I finally rest my head on his shoulder, totally content.

* * *

 **A/N** : As most of you suspected, Alice is pregnant! I had a reviewer last chapter who said she got pregnant with an IUD. Now, how do Alice and Jasper solve their dilemma about where to live?

Poll: Should Bella have told Edward about Alice's pregnancy or kept her secret?

I already had one vote last chapter that Bella shouldn't consider switching her birth control if she and Edward plan to have a baby anytime soon. He's got a bit of PTSD about that at the moment though.

Next update on **Monday**. Last regular chapter! I'm actually writing the Epilogue, yo!


	39. Love Voodoo

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story! I didn't tally up the Poll results, but the majority did feel Bella did the right thing in keeping Alice's secret, though you all felt Edward could've been trusted to keep quiet if she'd asked him to.

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Chapter 39 – Love Voodoo_

I am so _not_ a cake decorator. I mean, I can pipe frosting borders, though nothing like Eric can do. Still, I wanted to make Dad and Sue's wedding cake myself. I put the final touches on the double-heart shaped cake — I borrowed the pans from the bakery — then place it in the sturdy cardboard box.

After a quick shower, I put on Edward's favorite dress, then blow dry my hair and put on a little make-up and jewelry. I slip into my high heels, then try not to break my neck going down the stairs.

Unsure of when I'll get home, I put out a bowl of wet food for Sandy, shaking my head as she scarfs it down. I swear, mealtime is the highlight of her day.

Edward shows up a few minutes early, and _damn_ , does he look good in his dark blue suit. "Wow," I breathe, looking him up and down. His tie, which I've never seen him wear before, has diagonal stripes of white, silver, blue and green, which totally brings out the green in his eyes.

"You know what that dress does to me," he groans, making me smile.

"Is Masen in the car already?" I _thought_ Edward said he'd be coming to the reception with us.

"Yeah," he nods, "I didn't want to chase him down when he starts looking for Sandy."

I motion for Edward to come inside, where he picks up the cake box while I grab my purse. He sets the box in the back of his SUV and then we're off to the reception. Once we've arrived, I get Masen out of his car seat while Edward carries the heavy cake.

"Don't you look all spiffy," I tease Masen, who looks like he's in a mini version of his father's suit.

"Piffy?" he parrots.

"That means you look nice," I smile.

"I ordered that online," Edward laughs.

Seeing our outfits, the hostess at the door immediately leads us back to the private dining room. Leah and Seth are already there, but no one else. Edward sets the heavy box down on a table, leaving it closed for now.

The large room is decorated in dark blue and white streamers, with six round tables of eight places each taking up most of the room. The far corner of the room has been left open, presumably as a dance floor. Dad already told me that the music will just be coming from an iHome hooked up to the sound system. Since he's far too frugal to spend money on a DJ or band, Seth is in charge of the music.

I'm still surprised that he spent the money for a week-long honeymoon in Lake Tahoe — Leah was right — after the ceremony in Reno. A courthouse and one night at a nearby bed and breakfast would've been more up his alley, but Sue probably vetoed that idea.

"Where are Dad and Sue?" I ask.

"Waiting to make their grand entrance," Seth answers. "Did you bake the cake?"

"I sure did," I smile. "And decorated it… which I am never doing again." It took hours to make all of the roses out of my decorator frosting, but I really wanted them to be perfect.

"What flavors did you make?" Edward asks.

"The left side is chocolate with a raspberry filling. The right side is white with lemon filling. Sorry, no red velvet, but I had to go with what the bride and groom enjoy. I have an extra piece of chocolate at home from where I had to cut some out to fit the two cakes together."

Over the next several minutes, the room begins to fill up with all of their guests, including Alice with her date, Jasper. As longtime neighbors of Dad's, both of her parents are here as well. I wonder if Alice has told her parents about her pregnancy yet; as of Thursday, she hadn't.

At 10 minutes past the hour, Dad and a radiant Sue step through the French doors to a chorus of applause. My father is wearing a dark suit, which I think I've seen him wear only once before, for a funeral. Sue's lacy dress is a gorgeous shade of purple that complements her tan skin and hits just below the knee.

They stop by just long enough for me to hug my father, though I don't get a chance to introduce Sue to Edward and Masen.

Once they've made their rounds greeting several people, we all take our seats for a sit-down dinner. I squeeze Alice's hand when she sits beside me.

"You're getting that pregnancy glow," I smile at her.

"Or else it's just the bronzer I used so I don't look like a zombie," she laughs.

"Any word on… you know," I whisper.

"Jasper said he'll look around for jobs in the area — here or Port Angeles," she whispers back.

"Oh my God, really? That's great!" I wrap one arm around her as our server begins setting down salad plates.

A card at each of our place settings lists three choices for our entrée. Dad was adamant that he didn't want to just serve the same dish to everyone. Our server is nice enough to let us order the kids' chicken fingers for Masen, who's picking at his salad.

"It's mostly just lettuce, buddy," Edward says to Masen. "Eat it or you can't have cake later."

"Now you know that's an idle threat," I laugh. "You never deny that little boy anything."

He turns toward me, smiling. "As long as he doesn't know that," he winks.

* * *

As we finish our meals, everyone is invited to go check out the cake before they cut it. I'm a little embarrassed by the attention I receive, but Edward looks at me with such pride in his eyes that I can't be too upset. Once it's been cut, plates are set out along the table for everyone to choose a piece whenever they're ready.

"White or chocolate?" Edward asks, standing.

"Chocolate for me."

Jasper also gets up to get a piece of chocolate cake for Alice, and the two of us can't help smiling at our amazing men.

"We're gonna be sisters-in-law one day," she vows.

"Jasper hasn't proposed, has he?!" I nearly squeal.

"No," she laughs. "But I see no reason for us not to stand together at the altar one day."

"Well, I would really love that," I smile, hugging her again. I think Edward is a long way off ever getting married again, though.

We're still eating our cake when the bride and groom step onto the dance floor for their first dance. I have never seen my father dance before, and he's actually not too bad. Masen is starting to get antsy, so once their dance is over, Edward lifts him out of his high chair so he can run around. There are a couple of other small children here between my dad's deputies and Sue's friends from LaPush, so I'm sure he'll find someone to play with.

"May I have this dance," Edward smiles. He doesn't have to ask twice.

As I sway in his arms, I can't help smiling. It's been almost exactly one year since Edward and Masen came to Forks. So much has happened in the past year, from forming a new friendship, then losing it for a few months, before our friendship became stronger than ever. That friendship eventually grew into a love that runs deeper than I ever knew was possible.

"What are you smiling about?" he says, grinning down at me.

"I'm happy," I reply simply.

"For your dad?"

"Yes, for my dad and Sue, and for Alice and Jasper, and Angela and Ben. All of my friends and family are happy. But most of all I'm just… happy with you."

Edward brushes his lips against mine. "A year ago when I came to Forks, I didn't think I'd ever be happy again. But I am, Bella. Because of you."

He kisses me a few more times, until my dad comes up, slapping his shoulder. "It's time for the father-daughter dance," he announces.

"That couldn't have waited?" I ask teasingly.

He grins sheepishly, leading me toward the center of the dance floor.

"Are you sure about him, kiddo?" he asks as we dance. "I mean, if you guys get married, you'll be a stepmom to a young boy who's lost his mother."

"Dad, I love Masen as much as I love his father. He's a wonderful boy. I'm looking forward to being his mother one day."

Dad eyes me for a minute, then nods.

* * *

At some point, Edward and Jasper disappear together, presumably to have a man-to-man talk. Alice has had enough of being on her feet — honestly, she acts like she's eight months along rather than two — so I sit with her back at our table, holding Masen on my lap.

"Bella," Sue smiles, walking over toward us, "I just wanted to thank you again for making that lovely wedding cake! And it was as delicious as it was beautiful. Did you learn to make those roses at the bakery?"

"Honestly, no," I chuckle. "My boss and one of the other employees handle most of the cake decorating. I took a class to learn the basics when I was in Seattle for college, but I learned to make the roses from watching a YouTube video."

"Cake?" Masen says, looking up at me.

"You had a piece," I smile, tapping him on his cute little nose. "I might have a little more back at my house though. You can have some tomorrow."

"Is that Edward's little boy?" Sue asks.

"Yes," I smile widely. "This is Masen. He's 20 months old now. Masen, can you say hi to Sue?"

"Hi," he looks up at her shyly, giving a small wave.

"Well, hello to you too, Masen! Aren't you adorable?"

"I think he's gonna get a big head from everyone telling him that," I joke.

"He is the cutest," Alice says. "For now."

I can't help laughing. Sue gives us a questioning look, clearly not getting the joke. "Alice recently found out she's expecting," I explain. "She's been dating Edward's brother Jasper since December."

"Oh, how wonderful! Congratulations!"

"Thank you," Alice smiles.

"The Cullen men do make beautiful babies," I agree. "Edward's brother Emmett and his wife had a daughter just over a month ago, and she's beautiful as well."

"I finally got a good look at your Edward when you were dancing with him earlier. The stories I've heard of his looks were definitely not an exaggeration."

I laugh. I couldn't agree more.

"Oh, they're over by the door now," Alice says, nodding in that direction. "My man is the blond."

"My goodness, looks do run in that family. I suppose they're all a bit young for me though," she adds with a wink.

"And already taken," I point out. "As are you!"

"Oh yes, that must've slipped my mind," she giggles.

* * *

When Masen starts to get tired, we call it a night, hugging Dad and Sue goodbye before heading out to Edward's SUV.

"You're coming over, right?" Edward asks as he drives us home.

"There's no place I'd rather be," I smile.

I follow them inside, relaxing on the couch while Edward gets Masen ready for bed. I almost went home to change before I remembered how much Edward likes this dress. I do take my jewelry off and set it on the table though.

When Edward comes back downstairs, his tie is gone and his white dress shirt is unbuttoned, untucked… and littered with a few water spots from Masen's bath. He's still sexy as hell.

"Did you just lick your lips?" he smirks, pulling me to my feet. I grin back, knowing I've been caught.

"Let's go upstairs," he suggests.

My body burning with anticipation, I follow Edward up the stairs to his bedroom. He closes the door, leaving just one small lamp on as our light source.

"Turn around," he whispers, and I happily obey.

Edward places all of my hair over my left shoulder, then begins kissing the right side of my neck, his five o'clock shadow brushing against my sensitive skin. I moan when he takes my breasts in his hands, teasing my nipples through the fabric of my dress.

"I thought… maybe I wouldn't ache for you so much once we began having sex, but… I just want you more and more," he growls.

"Believe me, that feeling is mutual."

Edward lets go of my breasts and I spin around, smiling as I push his shirt off of his shoulders. I lift up his undershirt, and he raises his arms so I can take it off. I rub the palms of my hands over his bare chest, just admiring what a perfect male specimen he is. I almost can't believe he's all mine.

Edward has already removed his belt, but as I pull down his zipper, I make it a point to "accidentally" brush my hand against his rapidly hardening cock.

"You're a tease," he grins.

"I'm not, because I absolutely aim to follow through." With that, I tug his slacks down, allowing him to fold them and toss them on top of the dresser. His boxers are next, and I tug on his cock a few times once he's stepped out of them.

I yelp when Edward picks me up in his arms, depositing me on the bed. He removes my high heels one at a time and then lifts up my dress to pull down my panties. I shudder when he rubs two fingers of his right hand through the wetness between my legs, dipping them inside my entrance.

Meanwhile, his left hand moves to my breast, pulling and tugging at my nipple. I look down at his hand and… something's missing. Grabbing hold of his hand, I bring it closer so I can be sure — Edward has removed his wedding ring.

"You… when did you…" I stutter.

"After I gave Masen his bath," he answers quietly. "It was time."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes," he smiles. "You're so patient and understanding, but… it must've hurt you to see the ring on my finger. Like I told Bree's parents, she is my past and _you_ are my future. It's not right for me to hold on to such a reminder of my past when… when I'm in love with you."

"You love me?" I whisper.

"Yes. I love you, Bella Swan." He leans down to kiss me, and then I feel his hand moving between my legs again. "And now I'm going to show you exactly how much."

* * *

 **A/N** : So there you go, Edward ticked off the last two items on his list: admitting he loves Bella and removing his wedding ring. They're on a good path.

As of now, Jasper plans to move to the area for Alice. Only a couple of you wanted her to move any further than Seattle.

My friend learned how to make frosting roses from a YouTube video. I saw her make a few of them once. I don't think I'd have the patience!

The Epilogue will post on **Friday**! I hope lol. It's almost done. It'll be Monday if I don't have it back from moosals by Thursday night.


	40. Epilogue: Finest Hour

**Author Note:** Thank you for the great response to this story! Let's do this!

Thanks again to moosals for pre-reading. Stephenie Meyer owns all characters.

* * *

 _Epilogue – Finest Hour_

 _February 2022 (Masen was born December 2015)_

"Hi, Ma!"

I turn toward the sound of Masen's voice. "Hey, sweetie! I just need to drop something off at the office and then we can go."

"Okay," he answers, setting his _Star Wars_ backpack down on the floor of my classroom. Only the classics for this kid; Edward refuses to spend money on any of the latest money-sucking trends for kids.

After I've shrugged my arms into my coat, I step out of my classroom with my sidekick tagging right along. I glance over at him, shaking my head. He's the tallest kid in his kindergarten class, and I swear he's only a foot shorter than me now. At least when I'm wearing flats. His hair is also starting to darken and more resemble his father's than his uncle's.

Since he started attending Forks Elementary last Fall, I've been taking Masen to and from school most days, unless I have to go in early or stay late. After school is dismissed, he just walks two doors down from Angela's classroom to mine to wait for me.

Once I've taken care of my errand, Masen and I walk out to my Honda Accord in the parking lot. My old truck died for good three years ago, forcing me to buy a new-to-me vehicle. It's got four doors, which really does make it a lot easier to get Masen in and out of his car seat.

"What did you guys learn in class today, Masen?" I ask as I drive, looking at him in the rearview mirror.

"We learned shapes!" he says proudly.

"Cool," I smile.

The drive home takes only a few minutes, of course. I pull into our driveway behind Edward's car, then help Masen out of the car. He's figured out how to get out of the car seat by himself, but there are childproof locks on the rear doors.

I moved next door into Edward's house about a year after he first told me he loves me. We chose his place to keep since it was slightly larger than mine, with a much larger backyard. Edward and his mom — via email — made a few updates to my house before I put it on the market so that I could get the best possible price for it.

We're now looking to buy a larger place, with Masen's little brother on the way and Edward's dedicated writing area getting smaller and smaller. He finally had to switch the bed in the guest bedroom out for a futon so he could work in there and get some peace and quiet. I know Masen and the new baby could share a bedroom if they needed to, but it's a lot to ask of a six-year-old to stay quiet so he doesn't wake the baby.

As soon as I've got the front door open, Masen runs off in search of his father, yelling something about showing him what he did in school today.

Meanwhile, I take off my coat and shoes and then sink into our comfortable sofa, closing my eyes as I put my feet up on the coffee table. My ankles are starting to swell and I'm only six months pregnant. At this rate, I'll be wearing my Uggs slippers to work for the last two months of my pregnancy.

Feeling something nudging at my leg, I pat my hand on the couch. I hear a soft thump a moment later. Little paws dig into my legs before the cat settles in on my lap. I reach out blindly to pet the cat — it's Sandy. I can tell from the length of the fur.

Sandy has two little brothers now — Danny and Kenickie. It was Alice's idea to name them after _Grease_ characters, even though the musical hadn't been the inspiration for Sandy's name. The boys entered our lives just about a year after Sandy did, after another trip to First Beach. I think they may actually be her brothers — or at least _half_ brothers. Danny is black, while Kenickie is a brown tabby, and both are short-haired. They were found with their terrified mom, a long-haired calico.

It wasn't easy, but we managed to catch Mama with our beach blanket and get her spayed so she won't have any more babies. Her face is so similar to Sandy's that I think she's got to be Sandy's mom, too. I felt bad about putting her back on the street, but she definitely wasn't a fan of people.

"Ma!" Masen yells, forcing me to open my eyes. "Can we have tacos for dinner?"

"It's Thursday," I remind him. "Ask Daddy."

"He said to ask you. He's got a deadline for his book tomorrow."

I roll my eyes. "Go see if there are taco shells and seasoning in the pantry."

Edward has published a total of six books now, with each one selling more than its predecessor. The last book even reached the top of the _New York Times'_ bestseller list! After four books in the detective series, he moved on to writing supernatural themes. His current book is due to be published this summer, but with the baby coming in May, he really needs to get the edits returned quickly.

Thanks to his success and the money we got from selling my house, we can actually afford to buy the larger home that we need.

"Here you go!" Masen yells, running into the living room with a package of soft taco shells and seasoning mix.

"Thanks, sweetie. I'll brown the meat before I leave, all right? I hope you boys can handle putting your tacos together by yourselves."

"That's easy," he giggles, reaching for the remote control. There goes my peace and quiet; he's been able to work a DVD player since he was two.

A few minutes later, I feel a swift kick to my stomach. "Your brother's awake."

"Yeah?" Masen squeals. "Can I feel?"

I nod, and he places his hand on my growing stomach, his eyes lighting up when he feels the next kick.

"Whoa!" he yells. "He's strong."

"He is, and he's only going to get stronger before he's born."

"How much longer until he's here?"

"Thirteen weeks," I reply. Clearly, Edward and I failed at timing the birth to happen over the summer. Instead, a substitute will finish my last several weeks of classes and I'll have an extra-long summer break.

"How long is that?"

"Hmmmm…" I count backwards in my head quickly. "Well, I think Thanksgiving was 11 weeks ago — does that help?"

"Kind of," he shrugs, shrieking when the baby kicks again. "Ma?" he asks quietly.

"Yeah, sweetie?"

"Did I kick Mommy like that?"

I look down at Masen, smiling softly. He first started asking questions when Alice was heavily pregnant and he wondered if she had a ball under her shirt. We explained as best we could in terms a two-year-old could understand. The questions about where he'd come from first appeared about a year later.

And so we told him about Bree, and that she was with some of his great-grandparents in heaven now. He doesn't ask about her much, but we try to answer his questions when he does. Once I moved in with Edward, we stopped correcting him on calling me Ma, but we decided to refer to Bree as Mommy to honor her place in his life.

"I'm sure you did; all babies kick their mommies. Your daddy could probably tell you more."

Masen giggles when Sandy suddenly gets to her feet, her eyes wide as she stares at my stomach.

"Uh-oh!" I laugh. "I think the baby kicked Sandy."

Masen encourages her to come to him, and she stretches out across his lap, yawning. Even though we have three cats now, he still loves Sandy the most. Her brothers are Edward's shadows though; we had to buy another cat tree for his work area.

Around 5:30, I reluctantly get to my feet so that I can start dinner. Of course, the moment I start banging around getting the frying pan out, there are three cats at my feet, begging for their dinner.

"You'd think you guys were starving!" I grouse. As always, I give in and fix their bowls so they won't be underfoot. I've accidentally stepped on a tail or two when they've gotten too impatient and followed me around the kitchen.

While the ground turkey is browning, I gather the various toppings from the fridge and set them on the table. I heat up the first two taco shells in the microwave, then call Edward for dinner.

"Thanks for making dinner," he says, kissing me soundly.

"Ewww!" Masen giggles.

"One day you won't think kissing is gross," Edward says, grabbing their drinks from the fridge.

"You guys enjoy your boys' night! I'll see you later."

"Bye, Ma!"

I lean down to kiss Edward goodbye then go find my coat again. I still meet the girls at the diner every Thursday. As Masen got older, we designated Thursdays a father-son night for him and his father to make him feel special.

After the news of Alice's unexpected pregnancy, Jasper decided to make the move to Washington before the baby was born. Forks General wasn't hiring for his specialty, but he found a job in the emergency room of a hospital in Port Angeles. He and Alice bought several acres on a small lake and built a house, about halfway between Forks and Port Angeles. It was a bit of a compromise at first, since Jasper really wasn't sure about small town life, but he absolutely loves the area where they live. Their son, Peter, is almost four, and he and Jasper regularly go fishing in the lake.

My girls are already waiting when I arrive at the diner. Alice is seated closest to the door and stands up to hug me… well, as closely as a woman who's eight-and-a-half months pregnant can hug a woman who's six months pregnant.

"I'm so glad I got Ben fixed after Dougie was born," Angela giggles as we sit down. After little Douglas came along only 25 months after Chloe, Angela and Ben decided their family was complete, and Ben got a vasectomy.

"I still want to know how you talked him into that," Alice says, shaking her head. "Jasper is so far being a big weenie about the whole thing."

"I thought he wasn't sure about stopping at two?" I ask.

"Well, unless he can figure out a way to carry the next one, we're stopping at two. Charlotte will forever be the baby of the family. Do you know I've got some weird rash starting all over my body?"

"You might want to get that checked out," I grimace.

"Already have," she replies, waving her hand. "One of the OB nurses said she'd seen it before right at the end of a pregnancy."

"How much longer are you working?" I ask.

"Tomorrow is it — doctor's orders as of my appointment last Tuesday since my ankles are swelling so bad."

"Maybe I should try that," I giggle.

"Have they found a sub to take your class yet?" Angela asks.

I nod. "Yeah, she's been hired to start at the beginning of May. Hopefully that's early enough."

"You should've timed it better, Swan!" she grins.

"Shut it!" After Edward and I decided to expand our family, I stopped getting the birth control shot. After talking things over with my doctor four and a half years ago, I'd chosen the shot vs. the more long-term IUD option. I'd always heard that it can take a couple of months to get pregnant after stopping hormonal birth control, so we didn't worry about a back-up form before I could time a summer pregnancy.

Oops.

* * *

The following Monday is Valentine's Day. I can remember exchanging little valentines with all of my classmates when I was in elementary school, but that isn't really done much anymore. Still, I spent some time this weekend making cake pops for all of my students.

Edward said he'd cook dinner tonight, so I change into some comfy clothes and put my feet up on the couch when Masen and I get home from school. I'm quickly joined by Sandy.

I must fall asleep, because I'm awakened by Edward's lips on mine. "Dinner is almost ready."

"Mmm…" I smile up at him. "Smells great."

He helps me up and we walk into the kitchen together. I glance down to see the cats scarfing down their dinner.

"Masen fed them," he explains.

"Where is he?" I ask, looking around.

"He had to get something," Edward answers vaguely.

I sit heavily in a chair, taking a sip from the water bottle Edward left out for me. I turn toward the doorway when I hear Masen's footsteps.

"This is for you, Ma!" he says, handing me a sheet of light pink paper in the shape of a heart, folded in half. "It's a heart shape," he says proudly.

I smile widely, opening the paper. "WILL YOU MARRY US?" is written in Masen's big block letters. Tears forming in my eyes, I look up at Edward.

Grinning, he digs in his right front pocket and pulls out a diamond ring, then he gets down on one knee.

"Isabella Swan, would you do me the amazing honor of agreeing to become my wife?"

"Yes!" I scream, almost before he's finished his sentence. I'll probably never get up again, but I slide off the chair to my knees in front of Edward and throw my arms around him.

We created quite the mini scandal when I announced my pregnancy last Fall; apparently it's still a bit taboo to be an unmarried, pregnant teacher — of first graders, no less. I've known for years that Edward loves me and is committed to me, but actually taking that big step to get remarried still scared the crap out of him. Honestly, it hasn't really mattered to me to be missing a piece of paper and a ring on my finger; we've been married in our hearts for years.

That doesn't mean I'm not thrilled at the prospect of becoming Mrs. Edward Cullen.

"I love you so much." He cradles my face in his hands, kissing me soundly until Masen starts making gagging noises. We break apart, laughing, then encourage Masen to join our hug circle.

"Put the ring on her, Dad!" Masen yells.

Laughing, Edward slides it onto my ring finger, and I'm amazed that it actually fits as I tilt my hand back and forth to admire the way it sparkles in the light.

"How did you get the right size?"

"I know you said your class ring up in the drawer was a size too small," he explains. "I took it with me to the jewelry store. Do you like it?"

"I love it," I smile. "Now help me up."

* * *

Edward's parents had apparently been trying really hard to stay out of it, but once they find out that Edward and I are engaged, they start pushing for a wedding before the baby comes. I guess it's their generation.

Since Edward and I discussed long ago that neither of us wanted a big wedding, we decide to plan something for the week of Spring Break. My boss at the bakery offers to make us a cake for free, and Alice helps me find the perfect maternity wedding dress. After all, she wore one herself when she married Jasper four years ago.

Flanked by my two best girls, I walk down the aisle of the church — it's far too risky to have an outdoor wedding in Forks in March — to meet my groom. Masen the ring bearer and Chloe the flower girl are the big stars of the day though.

I can't stop the tears from flowing as I repeat my vows. And when it's Edward's turn, his eyes are sparkling with unshed tears, but his voice is strong.

After our first kiss as man and wife, Edward picks up _our_ son for a three-way hug — well, four-way if you count the baby in my stomach.

We hold the reception at The Lodge, where just a few years ago we celebrated my dad and Sue. Surrounded by all of our family and friends — even Bree's parents came — it's a perfect day.

* * *

The first pangs of labor start on Saturday evening, the day before Mother's Day, as Edward and I are relaxing on the couch. Well, he and Masen are watching a baseball game while I'm gently petting the cat who's taking up what's left of my lap.

I dismiss the pains for the first hour or so before a particularly strong contraction causes me to yell out in pain. When I explain what I've been feeling to Edward, he wants to take me to the hospital right away, but I put him off; it's too soon for them to admit me.

I do let him call Ben and Angela to see if Masen can spend the night with them, with Jasper and Alice living a half hour out of town. Angela comes by to pick up Masen and after taking one look at me, tells Edward to drive me to Forks General.

Upon arrival, I'm shocked to learn that I'm already six centimeters dilated. First labor is supposed to take much longer, isn't it? I'm put in a room and only two hours later, I start pushing.

Ryan Edward Cullen comes into the world at 1:13am, and he's absolutely perfect. I'm sure all new moms think that, but this time it's true. He's already got a full head of dark hair, nearly the color of mine.

Edward handles all of the cell phone duties, and by 10am, my hospital room is full of family and friends. It hurts to move, but I scoot over to let Masen sit beside me, then gently transfer his new brother into his arms.

"He's so small!" Masen exclaims. "Was I that small?"

"Not quite," Edward answers. "He weighs a pound less than you did."

"You know you have a very important job now, Masen," I begin. "You're Ryan's big brother. You get to teach him all about being a kid."

He smiles widely, looking up at me. "I can handle it," he assures me, making me smile in return.

Edward leans in, ruffling the top of his older son's head before kissing me gently. Best day of my life.

So far.

* * *

 **A/N** : There you go – Bella got a husband and a new baby boy! Angela and Alice are also moms of two. Even Sandy got an Epilogue.

I generally prefer to write stories of human drama, without a lot of over the top drama coming from outside the relationship. My stories rarely have bad guys or characters in peril.

If this story didn't have enough drama for you, you'll want to check out the upcoming continuation of the _Everything She Wants_ one-shot. It'll begin posting on **Monday, February 5**.


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